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PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2012 9:12 am 
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Since I've been on suboxone and this forum I've also learned much about addiction. This led me to being able to spot other addicts. Additionally, I've shared by experiences with close friends and family members - or some saw me through my addiction.

Throughout the course of all this, I'm now realizing that my family is FULL OF FUCKING ADDICTS, many of whom are or were opiate addicts. I'm the only one in my immediate family that had a problem with pain pills, but my siblings all had issues other types of drugs and general sub abuse.

These are the kinds of people that you can't break ties with because they are family or VERY close friends.

I'm curious as to how many of you have similar situations? I'm a rescuer by nature (I'm working on that, because I tend to enable), so I'm always trying to help (I'm working on that). How do you guys deal with it?

Not everyone in my family is aware of my addiction though, but over time, I'm slowly coming out of closet - sort of like my atheism. HA HA.

Thoughts?

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PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2012 9:43 am 
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Yep, I learned a long time ago that "tweekers can tell tweekers", meaning that once I did meth (crank) I could easily spot someone else who is on it. I see people all the time that I just know are flyin high...at the grocery store, at the bank, etc. I might be a little quick to judge...some people are probably just naturally zoomin, but a lot of people who have done drugs for a while just have that look.

And yes, my sister has also been an addict for years. I won't go into too much detail just in case someone that knows me ever happens to come across this thread (I am a little paranoid sometimes :shock: ), but it is a very sad thing to have someone in your family become so distant on drugs that you can't even have contact with them anymore because of what it has done to your family.

It's as if that person is no longer there, and has been replaced with someone completely different than the sibling you grew up with. And to watch what it does to the kids makes me sick. Thankfully I don't have any kids who have been hurt by my addiction. I never had to beg, borrow, or steal to get my drugs, so I've mostly just hurt myself and my own relationships with boyfriends.


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PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2012 1:01 pm 
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Interesting topic..Addiction runs throughout my family tree and I'm scared to death that I've passed my rotten genes down to one, or more, of my kids.. My wife is a recovering alcoholic/ speed freak so we've always warned the kids that the potential is higher for them to face addiction struggles than it is for their friends.. Hopefully it has sunk in over the years..

On my side I have an aunt and an uncle that both died of heroin overdoses.. My moms brother & sister.. The weird part is I have a sister that has absolutely zero struggles with addiction and a brother that likes to dabble.. When it gets out of hand he always manages to stop cold turkey.. Sure, he feels like crap, but he's able to suffer thru it and get back on track pretty quickly.. Me on the other hand- ughh!!!! Paws for months & months on end, restless leg, panic attacks, cravings etc etc.. It's pretty clear my sister seems to have escaped this dreaded gene but my brother has always made me wonder... He's always been able to party if it's free (and not spend his paycheck every week afterwards) or the timing is right, but walk away when it's time to..Does anyone else find that strange? He could eat or snort as many pills as you could give him.. Or is that normal? I've always been ALL IN when it comes to partying.. lol..


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PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2012 1:45 pm 
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Good subject Hat,

From the earliest time I can remember, I knew I was an addict. Drugs came first as a teen, then I discovered alcohol and how easily it was accepted. Everyone hated it when I smoked a little dope, but being drunk was being just like them. I belonged.

In my families case it was mostly alcohol. My mother and father quit when I was 3 so I don't remember much about it. Then the pills came in and filled the hole. My aunt and uncle both died of alcoholism as did my great grandfather. My parents warned me about the disease when I was an early teen but it was too late by then. I warned my son too, but he is now over a year sober.

My older brother died from a GHB overdose. He was the worst alcoholic in the family and thought that by using GHB he could get a nice high but not suffer the consequences of alcohol. His family left him and he died alone on the kitchen floor. Most of us knew nothing of this until it was too late. He was great at hiding it from everyone.

So let me see: Mother, Father, me, one brother and a sister, and my son. Hmm, think we have a little problem here?

Yes, I do believe it was inherited. I never stood a chance to not be an addict/alcoholic. Some days it really pisses me off thinking about it. All my life has been a battle just trying to stay alive. I've overdosed twice. Once from LSD, (the old orange sunshine) and once from heroin. Thought for sure I was a goner on the last one.

Oh and Hat. Are you really an atheist? Swear to God? :twisted:

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PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2012 2:16 pm 
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Orange sunshines...those were the first doses of LSD that I ever did. Got em in Golden Gate park in SF. I couldn't stay on acid too long though. My brain was fried after just a few months!!!


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PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2012 3:32 pm 
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Yes, I'm really an atheist, Rule. Swear to the non-existent god. It's harder coming out of the closet on that than it is as an addict - I kid you not. Atheists the most hated minority in the country; study after study continues to show that.

I, too, think addiction is at least partly inherited. Since I'm only partly out of the closet, I don't know much about a lot of my relatives. I know my mom had a problem with alcohol, as did her parents. They used to go out to the bar and take my mom with and leave her in the car. In my family though, the mental illness and severe child abuse was so much worse than any addiction ever was. I think my siblings (who I don't even speak to anymore, due to their severe mental illnesses) and I turned mostly to drugs because of the horrible abuse we suffered. (My mom tried to kill both my sister and I when we were teenagers.)

I do have cousins and extended family who had a lot of issues with addiction, including opiate addiction. Some of you who read my other thread know what I went through with my cousin. The enabling and the attempted rescuing. Sometimes the more we know about addiction the more it lead me to enable her. (She's doing great now.)

All I know is it led to a huge fucking mess in my family which can only be described as terribly fractured and is likely to stay that way. I have three siblings but none of them are in my life. And to be honest with you, I've accepted that and now prefer it. They bring nothing but negativity and crisis and drama into my life. I'm calmer and happier this way.

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PostPosted: Wed May 23, 2012 1:03 pm 
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So how the hell did you turn out so nice coming from such a messed up childhood? At least someone in your family has some sense.

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PostPosted: Wed May 23, 2012 1:11 pm 
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Who...Me? LMAO. Let's see, I'm 47 years old now, minus the 16 years old I was then....that's 31 years of therapy.

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-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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PostPosted: Thu May 24, 2012 8:51 pm 
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i too come from a long line of addicts. grandparents, father, mother (commited suicide when i was 10 due to alcohol/drugs), uncles, a couple of aunts, and many cousins. i also warned and preached to all my children (and still do) that they are so likely to become addicted too. luckily so far they are doing great. i say that i was not a good example but a horrible warning on being a role model. i find myself still to this day helping a cousin that calls all dope sick. i feel so guilty for doing this but i know how it feels not to have anything,being sick and needing to go to work. i am working on myself now and hopefully one day i will have the knowledge to help him.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 04, 2012 12:08 am 
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On my mom's side my grandfather died of alcoholism. My mom would never touch alcohol, but when she died of a pulmonary embolism at 59 she was morbidly obese. I don't think that it's a coincidence that sugar and alcohol are 99.9% the same in their chemical makeups. I firmly believe that she was addicted to sugar the same way my grandfather was addicted to alcohol. My cousin, also from that side of the family is a reformed meth addict. He has over 7 years of sobriety now.

That's it! I don't have any problems with atheists. Maybe that runs on that side of the family too! lol Because my mom's brother and his wife are atheists. They are the parents of the meth addict, but I don't think one has anything to do with the other. I do get mad when my atheist uncle accuses me of brain washing my son because I take him to church. I grew up United Methodist and UCC, both of which encourage the application of intellect to theology. You don't have to check your brain at the door. I've always been very careful to make sure my son knows that he can question and believe whatever he decides. His opinion is that he doesn't necessarily believe in God, but believes in following in Christ's example of loving your neighbor as yourself. Or, in other words, taking care of those in less fortunate circumstances. He is 14 and just chose to join our church despite the fact that his youth pastor, his mentor in confirmation class, his father and I, all told him we'd love him every bit as much if he chose not to.

Hat, I'm really sorry if you've ever been treated badly because of your atheism. I have lots of atheist friends, and I'm sure I would be proud if I had you as a friend too. Not to mention the fact that the people who think you're going to hell probably feel the same way about me! :)

Joke: What do you get if you cross a dyslexic, an agnostic, and an insomniac???

A person who is up all night wondering if there is a dog!

Amy

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 04, 2012 8:45 am 
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Thanks for that, Amy. You also made me laugh. I only wish everyone had the same open mind that you do. :)

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-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 05, 2012 9:46 pm 
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Hey guys I meant to post in this thread when it was made and I forgot.

My family I would say is full of addiction problems. Out of my immediate family of 4 people, 3 of us are opiate addicts. Growing up, my sibling and I were warned to death about drugs and alcohol but we both became opiate addicts and alcoholics. One of my parents was addicted to heroin and alcohol and has been sober for over 25 years. I am the only one on anything now (sub).

The rest of my family, yeah there are a lot who have problems that I know of and probably more that I don't.

Amy, love that joke.

-glen b


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 8:10 am 
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[font=Comic Sans MS]Wow, I never even saw this thread. Thanks for reviving it Glenbee! And thank you everyone for sharing such personal information about your lives.

I, too, have a family history of substance abuse. MY father is an alcoholic. I think that he is on his last leg. His skin is yellow, the whites of his eyes are yellow, etc.. His father was an alcoholic also. MY mothers dad was an alcoholic, and my moms sister is a pain pill addict. And of course there's good ol' me.

That's it. IN fact, I am kind of surprised that there isn't more? I think that the addiction gene manifests itself in different ways. Kind of like what Amy was saying about her mother and her addiction to sugar. My mother loves the slots! Not like I love to play slots, she likes them in a way that makes you not want to go to the casino with her. It's a horrible thing to watch unfold. She NEEDS to win her money back, and loses more, and tries to win that back, and loses more, and you get the picture.

Then we have my older sister who is obese. My brother was as well. But he lost 280 lbs by sheer diet, excercise, and willpower. But he swears he is addicted to food. In my opinion, that has to be the hardest addiction to overcome. You NEED food to live, so you can't just cold turkey it and move on, ya know?

Anyway, I guess my point was that maybe there is addiction all through my family, but it just reared it's ugly head in different ways on different people. Good topic hatmaker, where the hell are you anyway???? LOL [/font]

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