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PostPosted: Tue Apr 13, 2010 4:11 am 
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I started taking suboxone in March of 2007. For the first year I was only taking 4mgs a day, Then for some reason the addict in me wanted to take more. I would go to the docs office only enough for a half a day for 30 days then on top of that I knew a couple people that had them also and I would buy about $100 worth every week and a half. Sometimes I would take 2 a day other times I would take 3 a day. Why did I do this??? I didn't any different than if I took a 1/2 of one (4mg). Recently I started thinking that this is crazy what I'm doing. My doc now only gives me 3mg a day for 30 days. I'm now trying to go everyother day in taking them. I feel like sh*t the days I don't take em. Is this a good thing that I'm skipping days in between my doses? And how log should I do this for. I'm getting married and my fiance wants me off of these and so do I. I want to feel life without a pill. I'm not trashing subs what so ever. Suboxone saved my life. I have an excellant job, just bought a house which I'll be closing on April 27th. Any help on this would greatly be appreceiated on this subject. Also I orderd a bunch of vitimins from the internet to help with the WDs. Do these work?

Thanks,

mwatts


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 13, 2010 6:34 am 
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If you have been taking more than prescribed especially if you don't feel any different I'm not so sure you are ready to taper off the suboxone. Suboxone is just one of the tools used to help beat addiction. It is used to get away from our drug seeking behaviours. Taking more than prescribed and then buying off the streets shows that you still have some things to work on. I'm not trying to sound harsh and am only giving my opinion but I feel that more than likely once you stop the sub you will eventually go back to using some other form of opiate. I'm not saying you will but the signs are there. I know you said your fiance wants you to be off of them but as you know when it comes to addiction it is you that has to want to get and stay clean. Nobody can make that decision for you.
Are you getting any kind of therapy such as NA? If not I would look in to that or an addiction therapist to help get to your core issues of why you are still showing drug searching tendencies. Are you still searching for that high? Do you still have thoughts of using your original opiate?There has to be a reason why you are taking more especially since it does nothing for you. There are still some issues I feel you need to work on before you even consider stopping the sub.
This is only my opinion and I want nothing but the best for you. Weigh out the pros and cons and do what YOU feel is the right thing to do. Let you sub doctor know what is going on and work on this together before making and decisions. They are their to help and can help you get past this.
Best of luck to you!

Brian


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 13, 2010 6:36 am 
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One more thing. What kind of vitamins did you buy and what are your plans for dosing?


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 Post subject: Why????
PostPosted: Tue Apr 13, 2010 7:40 am 
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Hi mwatts,
Hello and Welcome to the Forum. I think you will find the information out here very helpful in your Recovery whether you stay on Suboxone or Not??? I think USMC is right.... There is a lot more to Recovery than just Suboxone. Are you in therapy will a counselor that can help you with these issuses? Why does your future wife want you off "medication" before the wedding. Have you been honest about your addiction?? I am NOT trying to pry into your personal life..... Just want to share my experience with you. I am on 16 mgs. / day of Suboxone and go to counseling every week and have been for 14 months. I need both in order to stay clean and in Recovery... I would just make sure that you are ready for this taper... If not then get Honest with yourself, your Dr. and your fiance and do what's best for you..... :) Whatever that is I wish the best for you... Please keep us posted on your progress.. we are all pulling for you!!!!
Take Care!

God Bless
TW


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 13, 2010 7:48 am 
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Hi mwatts and welcome to the forum, we're so glad you're here.

My opinion mirrors everything that USMC said. Taking more suboxone than prescribed is a behavior of active addiction. I, too, think that means you're not ready to taper off. Do you have a therapist? They can be of great help in figuring out why you've been doing that. Perhaps it's the stress of buying a house (BTW congrats) and getting married (congrats again). Even positive life changes can cause stress. And we addicts usually turn to a drug when we have stress. Personally I think you should wait until after things are more settled in your life and you find some insight before you taper off. But that's just me.

As for taking your subs every other day, I think that's fine. Many people dose like that, because of the long half life. Plus it can go far in getting out of the addictive behavior of dosing when we feel like crap.

Good luck and let us know how you're doing.

_________________
-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 13, 2010 8:01 am 
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Based on what you posted, I would urge you in the strongest possible terms not to stop taking suboxone and to get into therapy with a qualified substance abuse therapist.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 13, 2010 8:38 am 
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I can totally relate! At one point I felt the same way and so did my husband. One day it seemed the stars were all in alignment and I just quit taking it. For a variety of reasons, it was not a good idea, although I am glad I did stop because at least now I know what happens when I quit for three months. I also found this forum during that time and both me and my husband became educated real quick about opiate addiction and suboxone.

My experience stopping was that the physical withdrawal was not so horrible (bad but not like OC bad). It was the PAWS that killed me. I realized that that whole idea of getting through withdrawal and living my life without addiction and without pills wasn't too much a reality for me. I wasn't giving the disease of addiction as much credit as it deserves. I felt so good on the suboxone that I had this illusion it would just be a matter of getting through withdrawal and I would still just as good. I wanted it to be true so badly. I have chronic pain issues on top of the addiction so that was also a real wake up call because I didn't realize how much the suboxone was helping with the pain. Bottom line was that I didn't spend my first 2 1/2 years on suboxone in therapy and didn't learn about my triggers and didn't learn new healthy ways of living and new coping skills. I didn't have a support system outside my husband. I wasn't prepared for the cravings and the anxiety (or the pain) which lasted the entire 3 months (the worst of it ended at 6 weeks). When I went back on suboxone, I still had some depression, anxiety, fatigue.

I agree with everyone else that you may not be ready. I would also encourage you to explore your reasons for wanting off of the suboxone. We all WANT to be off suboxone and be pill/addiction free. Free from the dependency of taking something. For me, by quitting, I learned to really accept what it means to be an addict and that I may never be pill free. Today that is okay with me and before it wasn't. It is also ok with my husband and before it wasn't. What is the suboxone doing FOR you and what harm it is causing? I would really look at those things. I also suggest either coming clean with your doctor about taking extra and have him get you on a dose that makes sense based on this, or get a new doctor and come clean with them about it. Talk to the doctor about wanting to get off the suboxone and see what they say. I too encourage you to get a therapist, but I think you may want to start with a chemical dependency counselor AND a therapist. I sometimes think over time, a chemical dependency counselor becomes too narrow a focus.

Cherie


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