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PostPosted: Mon Nov 16, 2015 3:31 am 
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Hi, Im Kristy-first time posting. Ive been on suboxone for 6 years exactly this date. I started methodone and dilaudid and everything else I could take from 1998 to 2008. Then moved up to Heroin for almost a year. Destroyed my entire life, lost my kids..

Checked into treatment novemeber 2009. Started Suboxone, and never did another drug again. Cleqn and sober for 6 whole years, this month is my 6 year anniversary! Yay!

Eventully my brain fog cleared from years of narcotics, and after 3 years clean I knew Id never do pills or drugs again. Im embarassed I let my life get out of control. Im almost back in control, but cant get off Suboxone. Started with tabs (8/2 x3 a day) then Films, same dose. Ive gotten down to 1 film a day (8/2). Ive slowly tapered over a few months, stopped cold turkey, tried some weak pills to ease the symptoms (because it was better to take a pill then fill my receptors back up and start detox all over) nothing works. One time stayed off for 8 days, it was ridiculous. After day 3, I felt like I wanted to crawl out of my own skin. Restless, thrashing...I can handle anything but that! Ive taken Visteril, Clonodine, Benadryl, Nyquil, (not all at the same time!) And I cant get through it. I feel horrible everyday taking suboxone, sluggish, tired, very very moody, no sleep. I know alot about Suboxone, but regardless I cant handle this alone. I need some help, advice, comments, anything helps. Thanks in advance, Kristy


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 16, 2015 6:03 am 
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Kristy,

Read through some of the taper threads. It sounds as if you may have jumped at too high of a dose. Buprenorphine is a very powerful medication. Many people have tapered to 0.25 or 0.125 mg before quitting. Some even got to that dose and then started dosing every other day, then every third day. That's the approach I intend to take when I'm finally ready.

Just some thoughts,
Morphing


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 16, 2015 1:39 pm 
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Morphing-Hi, and thanks for the response. You may be right. I may need to come way down, especially since Ive been on 3 down to 1 strip a day for 6 years. I fear Ive been on it for too long and even a slow taper will be brutal. I have read about itty bitty tiny doses, but based on my next paragraph, is why I havent tried this. I guess even if My Mind thinks it helps, then I should try everything suggested for sure!!

I read it only takes 1 strip or tab (8/2) of suboxone to totally fill your receptors. So 2 or 3 strips dont do much different, only 1 strip or pill is needed to achieve this. To get an equal dose in narcotic pill form would be 180mg morphine. I didnt know that until recently. That explains why a suboxone taper is so wicked....super wicked. I will read the taper threads and continue to check my post. Thanks for your input!


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 16, 2015 2:10 pm 
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Hello, I was on sub for 6 years (8mg per day) but 3.5 years in I started tapering. You are lucky if you're on the strips because they are easiest to cut. When you get down to 2 mg hopefully you can get switched to the 2 mg strips which are the same size as 8's so even easier to cut into low doses. I found that having an attitude of "I'll get there when I get there, no pressure" was the best. My doctor also told me not to set dates and listen to my body/ be honest with myself. I was able to get down to a very low dose, maybe overboard but I did not have any serious symptoms during or after I jumped. I think I got down to .007mg or something crazy like that but I wouldn't do anything differently if I had to do it again. One day I temporarily misplaced my meds and decided to try a day without it- no symptoms of WD ever came. Dec 1 will be one year since I stopped sub and am grateful because I don't know if I ever would have gotten off the opiate rollercoaster otherwise. Equally important was regular exercise (i did cycling or swimming) will really make you feel better by getting your natural endorphins working. Also huge shift in old thinking is needed somehow, AA helped me with this. It's not for everybody but FOR ME I needed to somehow come to grips with the fact that I will never be able to take drugs or drink recreationally like a non-addict can.

Good luck, don't stress. I also tried jumping a few times earlier with sorter tapers and it never worked. I feel I needed to REALLY be ready before I was able to try life without sub. Once I was, it was actually not very hard.


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 16, 2015 2:29 pm 
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Hi! Thats great to read...I wonder how do we get to stay on this for sooo long? It shouldnt be allowed, and all the things I learned never came from any Doctor. Thats disappointing. Why did you feel you needed to taper? Did you feel horrible like I do? Horrible means overall horrible...tired, no energy, no sleep, no appetite etc. We all know no sleep and bad diet can contribute to feeling horrible, so its a vicious cycle no?

I was always afraid to get a lower dose strip, in case I needed to jump back. Previous withdrawal has me really messed up when thinking about future plans.

Your response, sounds like any symptoms may have been minor, probably didnt notice them, since it was over a period of time. Im enlightened, encouraged, and hopeful. Ive learned a few things already, so please keep giving me feedback, I appreciate it! Kristy


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 16, 2015 3:01 pm 
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Kristy79 wrote:
Hi! Thats great to read...I wonder how do we get to stay on this for sooo long? It shouldnt be allowed, and all the things I learned never came from any Doctor. Thats disappointing.


I feel I was on sub exactly how long I needed to be. I also feel if the choice is being on sub for life was my only option I was fine with that too. The point was to get away from active drug addiction so I could figure out how to cope with life without drugs. Detox and cold turkey would not stick for me. Even after the physical WD I would end up using in time.

Kristy79 wrote:
Why did you feel you needed to taper? Did you feel horrible like I do? Horrible means overall horrible...tired, no energy, no sleep, no appetite etc. We all know no sleep and bad diet can contribute to feeling horrible, so its a vicious cycle no?


The reason I felt I needed to taper as opposed to just jumping was because I was on this forum spending a lot of time finding those who got off sub, stayed off, and how they did it. In my observations the ones who were most successful did so with a long slow taper. They were also the ones who would come back periodically to update and share their support and hope. I'm not sure when you ask if I felt horrible... No I felt fine and very stable on my 8mg dose but felt I had grown enough spiritually, mentally and learned coping skills to try life without sub. Also I was fine if I had to stop and go back to sub if need be. I tapered long and slow so I would never feel opiate withdrawal again! Why would I want to feel that? The trade off was that it took a long time. I found a tapering groove that allowed me to just feel normal mostly all the time.



Kristy79 wrote:
I was always afraid to get a lower dose strip, in case I needed to jump back. Previous withdrawal has me really messed up when thinking about future plans.


That's why you would use your 8mg strips to cut into smaller doses and wait until you are stable at well below 2mg for a good amount of time before you make a switch to 2mg strips. And if you taper while still getting your regular 8mg prescription you will have extra 8mg strips. But if you are serious those will eventually be useless and be disposed of.

Kristy79 wrote:
Your response, sounds like any symptoms may have been minor, probably didnt notice them, since it was over a period of time. Im enlightened, encouraged, and hopeful. Ive learned a few things already, so please keep giving me feedback, I appreciate it! Kristy


Happy to share what worked for me. Other members did the same for me. I know how hopeless it can feel but I strongly encourage you to stay in the present moment. Don't obsess about getting off. Accept sub as a medicine you need to take for a disease, the same as blood pressure or heart medicine. You gradually reduce the dose every 2 or 3 weeks in a way where you don't feel bad. Even reducing only 1 dose per week is progress. It all adds up.


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 16, 2015 8:37 pm 
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Wow, honestly thats major insight for me, thank you. I needed to hear that. I have been thinking way too far ahead...I should accept that I have needed this suboxone for as long as I did. Without it, I know I wouldnt have stayed clean.

Im going to start cutting my strips into 1/4 sizes. Take 1 maybe 3 times a day...for my first taper. Just stay like that for a little while. I found suboxone taper info, on exact taper for a specified time frame. I may not taper that quickly, but it gave me a full outline so I could follow the taper but maybe extend each drop in dose as I feel comfortable with it.

I could stay on forever, but I feel Im in the addiction world still, in a way. I know physical dependency is different then addiction. Another issue, my Dr. has raised his monthly cost to see him, to 250$ each MONTH. It used to be 125$. I dont want to worry about that payment anymore.

But Im going to be OK with this now, and be OK with myself, take my time, and any taper I do, is success.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 18, 2015 9:44 am 
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Kristy,

Try to think of the $125.00 increase in the doctor's appointment as an investment. You spoke of your life before Suboxone, how bad it was. Isn't $125.00 a month a good investment or insurance policy to have the life you have now? Also, $125.00 a month is a small price compared to what you would be spending if you fell back into active addiction.

I know it is difficult to budget an increase in fees like that, but I would give up cable or other things to be able to stay in treatment.

Thanks,
Morphing


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 18, 2015 3:53 pm 
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I was on subosone for 6 years to the date, also. Here's the recipe for getting off suboxone if you are unable to taper down to nothing...

Gabapentin
Valium
Clonidine

You need to see a detox doc, or an internist that knows what he's doing. You take a combo of these meds for up to two weeks only. It will get you through the worst of it. I promise. Along with hot baths, music, vitamins and getting out of the house. As crazy as it sounds, I felt the best walking on a treadmill and I am one of the laziest people you'll ever meet. I don't work out. You WILL sleep. Your RSL will be at ease. The meds work through hardest part. Not going to lie though, symptoms linger for months. But a lot less severe. You WILL face temptation after you're off suboxone somewhere down the line. Just know that.

Good luck. Let me know if you need anything.


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 15, 2015 9:49 am 
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Making my first post on this site, here on this thread; because I have found the posts most encouraging.
I am just starting my 2nd year of Suboxone, and am in the (fairly common, it seems :cry: ) position of knowing that it saved my life, but also hating, resenting and cursing the need to continue taking it. And wanting to stop, have tried and failed to stop, and seeking reassurance that it `is` possible to stop. Because I've been feeling that it isn't, and that I am doomed to a lifelong addiction to a medication that, in truth, I cannot afford. The cost is crippling my life, the deadening of emotions is crippling my life, the side effects have robbed me of much already.
I suppose that I should go do a proper intro on the main forum, but just wanted to say thanks to those who have managed to use it properly, and eventually remove the "necessary evil (?)" from their lives. Some hope, where now I see little, and fear very much.


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