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PostPosted: Wed Oct 19, 2011 11:19 am 
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My husband abused prescription drugs for 7 years without my knowledge. He came to me 3 years ago and told me he had a problem and wanted help. (he got busted at work and the boss told him ether my husband tell me or the boss was going to tell me). So, he started suboxone. He constantly took more than he was supposed to and had to go back early every month. I went with him every month for over a year. Then he quit telling me when his appts were, would hide his meds, etc. Didn't even tell me when he switched over to the strips and changed drs. I had one of his coworkers call me today and tell me ey think he's abusing some kind of drugs. That he's nodding off often and eyes seem saggy. I've wondered for quite some time if he was doing something. His mood is constantly changing. He may be fine one minute and cussing me out, hollering and accusing me of doing everything under the sun (cheating mostly which I've never done to him). When I ask him why he doesn't tell me about his appts he just ignores me. There's a bit of unaccounted for time after work also and he makes up some interesting stories to make up for that time and then changes the subject.
And really. 3 years on suboxone? Is that necessary???
Am I reading into it too much?
I've never know anyone with addiction problems before. I wish I knew what to look for. I feel so stupid! ( by the way, we do have 2 young kids also)


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 19, 2011 11:36 am 
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Here's Whatchacandofornow! Realize that he is your husband. He is human. I'll let you take it from there... We need forgiveness, respect (?), and understanding that we as drug addicts are sometimes the innocent party... at first. I started with a prescription after my 1st operation and it went downhill from there. My wife is very understanding and without her support I couldn't have made it this far. I wasn't forced into Suboxone, I made the decision myself, with my wife's understanding that I knew it was time. I hope your husband wants help, otherwise you could be wasting your time. I know that honesty was available to me. Some people are afraid to share their misdeeds with others, especially spouses. It could have marital and/or parental undertones, and nobody wants that. If I was ever threatened paternity due to my addiction, I would have blown a gasket. Please don't use his addiction as a weapon. Talk to him. If he doesn't talk back, seek a third party to talk to him. If that fails, get yourself some help so that you can help him. :)

Sincerely,

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 19, 2011 11:38 am 
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You are afraid, not reading too much into it. Suboxone therapy goes on for years....... Read the good Dr.'s articles. :)

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 19, 2011 11:42 am 
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Hi and welcome! I am so sorry you and your children are being put thru this. It sounds like your husband did not enter recovery willingly and more like he felt he had no other choice. Sometimes people can have a successful recovery being forced into it and others will not be successful unless they truly wanted sobriety. It sounds like your husband is the latter of the two. From the beginning he stayed in his addictive behavior by taking more sub than prescribed, honestly I am surprised your husbands Dr would keep giving early refills. Do you know why he switched Drs? It could be that he was coming up dirty in his drug screens and was dismissed by his 1st Dr. This could also explain the secrecy. From what his co workers and you describe it sounds like he is on something other than sub. You could confront him and demand to go to his next Dr appointment but sadly unless he is ready to get clean nothing you say or do will change that. I know this is hard and unfair but if he can't get his shit together you need to think about yourself and your children. It is so easy to getost in trying to save the addict that you neglect yourself and your happiness. Have you ever attended a support group for family members of addicts? This could be very beneficial to you, it will help you understand more about addiction and how to take care of you and your children thru this. Al-anon is a good one to look into. I wish I had a magic answer for you but sadly opiate addiction is a bad thing and not too many people make it out but it can be done. Sub is a big help if taken properly but it sounds as if your husband abused it from the beginning. I will pray for you and your family.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 19, 2011 11:44 am 
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Hi and welcome! I am so sorry you and your children are being put thru this. It sounds like your husband did not enter recovery willingly and more like he felt he had no other choice. Sometimes people can have a successful recovery being forced into it and others will not be successful unless they truly wanted sobriety. It sounds like your husband is the latter of the two. From the beginning he stayed in his addictive behavior by taking more sub than prescribed, honestly I am surprised your husbands Dr would keep giving early refills. Do you know why he switched Drs? It could be that he was coming up dirty in his drug screens and was dismissed by his 1st Dr. This could also explain the secrecy. From what his co workers and you describe it sounds like he is on something other than sub. You could confront him and demand to go to his next Dr appointment but sadly unless he is ready to get clean nothing you say or do will change that. I know this is hard and unfair but if he can't get his shit together you need to think about yourself and your children. It is so easy to getost in trying to save the addict that you neglect yourself and your happiness. Have you ever attended a support group for family members of addicts? This could be very beneficial to you, it will help you understand more about addiction and how to take care of you and your children thru this. Al-anon is a good one to look into. I wish I had a magic answer for you but sadly opiate addiction is a bad thing and not too many people make it out but it can be done. Sub is a big help if taken properly but it sounds as if your husband abused it from the beginning. I will pray for you and your family.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 19, 2011 12:10 pm 
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Hello and welcome. I'll start first with your last question. Three years on suboxone is not unreasonable. Not in the least. Addiction is a relapsing disease that can be fatal and suboxone is a medication to treat that condition. At least a great many of us think that way.

Now that said, I'm so sorry that you've stuck in this mess of opiate addiction. I know it's difficult for we addicts, so I can only imagine what it's like for you. I also second what Breezy said. Please do remember to take care of you and your children. Unfortunately, I don't know either of you so I can't advise you as to the best way to get through to him. If he's not willing to change, then no one can force him. I hope it doesn't turn out that way for your family.

Be well.

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-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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