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PostPosted: Sat Jun 17, 2017 12:08 am 
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Hello everyone My name is Judy I am 66 yrs old and I have been on Suboxone Program going on five years. I am probably older than anyone here that is on a maintenance program. I can tell you I was an alcoholic for about 40 years and then in 2000 got hooked on pain pills. Lorcets (correct spelling), I drank for so long now that I am sitting here writing this I cannot believe how for I have come. I am very very lucky to be alive and to be able to write this post. I have done the 12 step program and I have done the NA programs in fact I have used all of my medicare mental hospital days up and that is pretty bad. I used to be told once an alcoholic and addict always an alcoholic and addict but I am here to tell you in my opinion that is not true. Now if you still have the craving and have to fight the monkey on your back everyday yes you still are an alcoholic. Let me go back to when I remember that I started drinking and then how I got on pills. I had a terrible childhood sexual abuse, was told I was dumb, I would never amount to anything, I cannot believe I had you, all the things that hurt very deep. I never got any kind of help Then when I was 27 I had a miscarriage with twin boys. Now I have the child abuse on top of that the loss of children. Still didn't deal with any of it This is when I started drinking. I drank and stopped drank and stopped I cannot even count the times. I still didn't deal with the problem and I didn't even know I had a problem I mean physiological that is. All I know is I wanted to drink from morning to night. Whew!!!! I do not know how I survived. How many family members I embarrassed or embarrassed my self . I had good jobs I kept up all the time I was drinking some I even drank at lunch time. But then 40 years go by and in that time I am in and out of mental hospitals trying to get that monkey off my back but that monkey would not leave me. I was just settling. this was my life and I was stuck drinking and that is all there was to it might as well get used to it. I had every excuse too why I should be drinking, It is the year 2000 and after 4 failed marriages in and out of mental hospitals I am still a drunk. This time I get in my car and decide to drive drunk down in Surfside Texas. I was going down a road and my tire hit a pot hole and over the side of the road which went down into the water. I flipped my car I don't know how many times and landed upside down. Now I am drunk and have a brain injury. I am taken to the hospital immediately rolled into surgery I had a subdural Hematoma. Now I am on 500 mil hydrocodone's and drinking. Just what I needed another addiction. I graduated from 500 to 650 Lorcets really quickly. Then I did the doctor hopping thing to be able to get the amount I needed. I was in and out of a couple of more mental wards along this time era too by the way still wanting to get the two monkey's off my back now. I thought I am gonna die, I would feel sorry for myself and still didn't think I had any problems. Then I was taken to Bayshore hosptial after overdosing on soma's I tried to kill myself I didn't want to live like I was living. Getting up each morning just to find my drug so I could feel normal. That was a joke feel normal.? How can you feel normal on 8 lorcets twice a day and drinking on top of that. By the grace of God there go I. I met an angel at Bayshore Hospital while I was there. His name was Bob A. He helped me see I had mental problems and not just an addiction. Something was seriouly wrong with my mental health i was drinking and taking pills to squash the my pain. So that is what it was not a monkey it was pain I was dealing with. Pain from my past my childhood the miscarriage all my marriages everything I didn't deal with but drank it all away. I tell you it isn't easy either. It is worse than sitting in an AA meeting and listening to everyone tell you Hi my name is I am an alcoholic. Are Hi my name is I am an alcoholic and an addict. No one ever ask why was I doing this to myself. No one ask me what was wrong. How come you have to do that Judy. Not one person. they just were trying to get me to quit drinking and not the cause. Well there is a reason why you take pills and do what ever you do. As Of 2011 the monkey has not been seen or heard of. I have no cravings. the stop n go's beer section doesn't call me over to get a beer. I am free I can honestly say I am free. I tell you it is the most wonderful feeling in the whole world not to have any cravings. I am on a maintenance program because of the wreck I broke my shoulder and damaged my back. Suboxone helps me stay off the pain pills because of my excruciating pain, I hope to one day be able to not have any pain but the doctor said it is very doubtful because of my age. If you are young and have an addiction problem and are fighting it day after day. Please look back on your childhood maybe your parents said something to you to make you feel bad. Maybe you didn't think it effected you. Maybe it was school the kids made fun of you. It has to be something wrong are you would not be taking anything to get a buzz to make you feel good. If you have a healthy mind you do not have to take something to get high. I truly believe people who abuse any substance at all has severe emotional problems. Until they find out what that is they will always want to get high and get into a different state of feeling. I apologize for the long story I just wanted to share my experience. I hope it is allowed if not the owner of this page can delete it. I appreciate the person for this page for us to express how we feel and our experiences. It is a good place for that. thanks


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 17, 2017 12:16 am 
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Delete it? Heck no!!

Thanks for sharing, Judy. I have about a dozen patients who are over 60, and most of them want to stay on buprenorphine indefinitely. As they put it, they've lost enough to opioids over the years that they appreciate the chance to remove them from their lives. I truly believe society in general will see things that way eventually; after all, we see it that way for almost every disease other than addiction!

Welcome, Judy!


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 17, 2017 12:25 am 
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Well, what month were you born? If you're later than March of 1951 I have good news for you :D
Also there's queen who I believe is 74. Not sure if she;s still on the medication though,

But I sure am!! You've got a great story and very glad you've shared it. By they way, how do you find the bupe affects your cravings for alcohol? There's another thread going on that discusses that.

I'm also an alcoholic and find the medication works for those cravings too. Plenty of others have reported the same thing on this forum. What have you noticed?


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 17, 2017 12:45 am 
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Wow Judy, it sounds like you've been through hell. And deep down inside I agree with you about using substances to cover up emotional pain. Granted, there are a lot of people that got started on pain medicine after some kind of injury, and then went on to develop an addiction because of it's effects on their mood.

I think our culture is also partly to blame. We've got a pill for every type of ailment, including illnesses we don't have names for yet. I've dealt with chronic pain and headaches for a long time, but it was the effect on my mood that really got me hooked uncontrollably.

I'm sorry to read about the many tragedies in your life. But you strike me as one tough cookie that's seen it all. I admire your ability to grab yourself by the bootstraps and get yourself through a tough life. I think you have more insight into what makes you tick than you give yourself credit for.

I can also get a sense of just how thankful you are for this amazing treatment medication. It has done wonders for many of us, even those that have had some side effects. We all know there is no such thing as a 'perfect' medication. But the fact that we can have clear minds and little to no cravings whatsoever is astonishing!! I didn't think it was possible until I tried it myself.

Well thank you for the introduction, and I look forward to seeing you around!! Take care!!

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 17, 2017 1:34 am 
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Good thread!

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Stopping went well -- its the staying stopped -- where the real work begins.
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 17, 2017 9:59 am 
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Welcome Judy!!! What a great journey u have shared with us! Loved reading it. I think most of us can relate to everything u went through concerning the addiction part. Ur not alone.

I too am so so so so happy to have that nasty monkey off my back, the cravings for opiates were unlike anything u can describe to someone who hasn't personally experience it. When I'd go without my beloved opiates, I would always compare it to losing the love of ur life over and over again every single day. Like that broken heart feeling, I always tried to explain it like that. I didn't ever abuse alcohol though, I drank in my younger years at a party or something but never was addicted to anything but opiates.

I didn't have anything in my childhood or past that was bad. I wasn't abused physically or mentally by my parents, they raised me together with my brother and are still together this day, 51 years last month. I wasn't mistreated in school except for the occasional red haired comments. I ended up finding a job in the law enforcement/emergency field and worked there for 10 years until my addiction started happening around 32-ish. So I always wonder, if something does have to trigger addiction (and I'm not even sure if that's the case because I kind of think it just happens under certain circumstances) what would have pushed me to addiction. I went through a horrible divorce from someone I loved very much and he put me through awful cheating. He got another lady pregnant and we all were in the same field of work, just different departments. So that could have pushed me over the edge.... after him though I married my high school sweetheart who ended up being fresh out of rehab (several rehab stays that never worked). He introduced me to the high mighty morphine and oxycodone. I'm not sure I ever had one certain thing push me to use opiates, if I did, I guess it would have been numbing that pain from my other love and what he put me through. I just don't know if I can say any certain things turned me to addiction except for being introduced to it. I do believe that addiction can run in ur family though and my mothers side of the family has plenty of that (not her though).

Throughout my addiction I could tell early in that I had a problem and wanted to stop. The cravings were unbearable and I couldn't stop. I'd been to rehab and several inpatient detox facilities with no success. I really really wish one of those places would have introduced me to buprenorphine. It was taboo to even ask about methadone or suboxone because they'd think u were wanting to get high or something. I remember having a panic attack in rehab and the first thing one of the workers told me was 'the emergency room isn't going to give u a thing, especially coming from here'. I never mentioned the emergency room lol. My panic attack was from cravings and not being able to eat hardly anything for 2 weeks. It's just not logical, only speaking for myself, to sit an addict in a treatment center and expect them to be treated like everyone else. It should be individual assessments. Some are like that but mine wasn't. So rehab didn't work for me in the end. I bet it would have if they'd used buprenorphine treatment for those that needed or wanted it.

Now I've went and typed a book! Thank u for ur post Judy, it sparks conversation that is very healthy for all of us. Oh and ur not alone here in the age department, queenie is in her 70's and she's still doing wonderful in her treatment with suboxone. I hope u stick around!

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 17, 2017 4:21 pm 
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Hi! I'm Queenie,

I am 74 years old and a double amputee. I came to this forum in 2010. I have been on Suboxone maintenance for about 9 years.

My doctor wants me to stay on it (8mg. a day) because it helps with my arthritis pain and he doesn't want me to experience any withdrawal because I am deathly afraid of it and because I had a heart attack and it may not be good for me.

So, you are not the oldest here but I hope you stay and please write to me whenever you wish.

Love, Queenie


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 17, 2017 4:43 pm 
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Judy, it's Queenie again. I just read your entire post and it is unbelievable what you have been through. I would like to ask a favor. Could you read my introduction to this forum? It was in 2010 and the name of the post is "All about Queenie" It's just that I want you to compare notes and know that having a horrible childhood, does not exclude us from addiction. In my case it was loss of so much love from my parents that started the devil addiction of mine.

Please stay in our forum. There are a lot of wonderful people here and we feel that we may be different but we are all the same. I hope you will read my story and write to me.

Never give up!!!!

Love, Queenie.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 18, 2017 12:35 pm 
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Hi Judy, Welcome! I too am one of the older members at 57. I have been on suboxone for three years in August. In my earlier days I fooled around with all kinds of drugs and alcohol. Never got hooked, not until my early 50s when I needed to have extensive dental work. I was getting Vicodin and Percocet all the time. I was starting to experience depression that was related to menopause and I was also dealing with osteoarthritis in my knees. So, the opiates really helped with all of that. Of course, I started to need more and more! I then learned about tramadol which was easy to get online so I would order more and more until I was at 40 to 50 tabs per day. In August of 2014, they changed the classification of tramadol making it very hard to get. That is how suboxone entered my life. I started at 24mgs and have tapered down to 4mgs. I don't know if I will ever stop, I do think about it sometimes. Welcome, I hope you stick around! There are so many here that are full of knowledge and very helpful!


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 22, 2017 10:42 pm 
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that was an awesome post. i wish she would post again or reply.

i have discovered so much through the counseling i'm required to do as part of my treatment. why i used, why i relapsed. i quit cold turkey once before and i've been to therapy before but i never discussed my drug use.

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