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 Post subject: 3 years gone
PostPosted: Fri Jul 11, 2014 8:10 am 
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Introduction for me so I'd like to greet all my compadres. Formally I'm Joshua L, my age is 23 & this disease or self destruction that has aild me begot me 3 years ago. I was 19 when I let the first does pulse through my vessels, naive was I to think that addiction only initiated those who couldn't handle organizing priorities to engage opiates at the right opportunity. My mind was all to aware of seeing movies, TV shows portray withdrawals;anarchist cookbook, transporting,etc:but never understood the all too realness of the depiction, only thinking to myself that this occurred only when you did too much to consistently. Thinking only of how I had seen people drink to much and become sick. So upon experimenting with the opiate I believed a miracle had came to my friends & I. Years past on to my dismay and the heavens came crashing down on me. Here I am now stuck with this suboxone withdrawal complex


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 Post subject: Re: 3 years gone
PostPosted: Fri Jul 11, 2014 8:13 am 
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Each time I come off of it I can't deal with the pain but I've never been coached on tapering down, any advice would be great. Of course as of this moment I wouldn't mind this being a lifetime commitment to have to take it. Better than fear of relapse


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 Post subject: Re: 3 years gone
PostPosted: Fri Jul 11, 2014 9:27 am 
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Hi OS, welcome to the forum. Some people find it easier to do a long, slow taper; other people find it easier to just get the hell off the drug, and soldier through harder hitting withdrawal symptoms.

The physical withdrawal isn't terrible, but the mental/emotional part can be hell, at least for some of us, but it's just part of the process.

One question for you, about the nature of your addiction. There are two types of addicts, the first of which are people who have developed a dependence on opiates (or whatever), but can stop using by relying on their own will power.

Then there are addicts (like me) who've gone past the point where will power is any use. We're the people who try to stop again and again, but never succeed, no matter how bad things get. It's not about how much you've used or how long you've used, the question is whether you've hit the point where you cannot stop using on your own (only you can answer this).

If you're the second kind of addict, you need to start thinking about some sort of addiction recovery support. If we can't do it on our own, then obviously we need help from someone or something else.

Good luck.

-- ji

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"Past and future veil God from our sight; burn both of them with fire."
-- Rumi, Sufi poet and teacher


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 Post subject: Re: 3 years gone
PostPosted: Fri Jul 11, 2014 11:19 am 
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Yo What's good ikon, thanks for the fast shout out. I'm most definitely a big ol'number 2, it was progressive from the first as I could function at work and dose myself x3 a day breakfast, lunch and dinner. First the withdrawal physically I push through the pain, but being in the 2nd category I feel like the mental damage is longterm without any substitute. It's like I can't speak or problem solve or make connections like my personality is gone. I'm self aware of who I am and the what personality the opi would give. Every time;which has been x4; I get off suboxone coldT I wait as long as a year and I feel that affect, like a zombie with headphones. At least with the subs(8mgx2) I'm all me no urge. Being off always led back to the 8th letter. Attend AA, NA, 4 days a weak sometimes twice a day.


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 Post subject: Re: 3 years gone
PostPosted: Fri Jul 11, 2014 12:08 pm 
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OS, meetings are good, but that's not what helped me to get to the point where my desire/craving/obsession to use drugs and alcohol was removed completely.

If you've been around, you've seen step 1 -- we're powerless over our addiction. If there are 50 addicts in a meeting, 50 times zero power = no power at all. I was talking to an AA newcomer about this last night, he'd been hanging around with a guy who he thought was 'together,' but one day the guy turned up to a meeting stinking drunk. No power in that.

The power we need to survive comes when we do the steps thoroughly and honestly.

Find someone who's got something that interests you -- for me it was people who had serenity, peace and joy -- and ask them they got there from a place of hopeless addiction. If they're the real deal, they'll offer to show you.

-- ji

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"Past and future veil God from our sight; burn both of them with fire."
-- Rumi, Sufi poet and teacher


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 Post subject: Re: 3 years gone
PostPosted: Fri Jul 11, 2014 10:55 pm 
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hey mojito man, I know your relatively new here, but I'm going to ask you to review the forum's rules again. your posts are breaking those rules. this forum is supportive of all forms of recovery and even has special sections for things like side effects, and stopping, so that introductions, where there are many newbies, won't be full of the negativity that some poeple find necessary in tapering off or quitting subs. for many of us, not in denial, btw, Suboxone has given us the ability to regain control of our lives and become productive citizens once again. I can tell you without any bullshit or denial that I feel like before I did before ever taking and becoming addicted to opiates. my children and family have noticed a difference for the better, and so have I. I'm so not high either! I could go on and on, but it's against the rules here to bash Suboxone assisted recovery, and say that one form of recovery is superior to another. for those who properly use Suboxone, and take other appropriate steps in our recovery, buprenorphine can be a godsend that allows us the time out of addictive behavior and away from the using lifestyle to get our houses in order so to speak. please take another look at the rules before continuing to post such inflammatory remarks or challenging the moderators. they do a great job here and try not to intervene unless necessary, giving we members a lot of freedom to share our experiences and knowledge with others. besides your own experience, though, what do you have in regards of evidence that Suboxone causes a'll of those problems you listed above? stating your opinion as fact can be confusing to everyone, and interfere with intelligent decision making. I'm not trying to give you a hard time mojitoman, but after reading your posts, and giving it some thought. I felt it necessary to post something. I hope you'll take this reply as intended, and not be offended or angry.

Mojitomans posts were deleted. Lizzie, if you want me to delete your post too I will so there is no confusion.

Sorry, it was way over the top and dangerous to those seeking help.

Rule62
ywe, please go ahead and delete mine as well rule, no need to keep this one up. it'll just create confusion. thanks
Lizzie


Last edited by lizzieshug2013 on Sun Jul 13, 2014 9:33 am, edited 3 times in total.

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 Post subject: Re: 3 years gone
PostPosted: Sat Jul 12, 2014 12:57 pm 
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I appologize to anyone, and everyone who read what i wrote last night. I never claimed to be perfect, i have feelings, and im not taking anything to numb them. Last night was tough, because i almost did, and still could lose someone to addiction, again. My viewpoint on suboxone is tainted. I might not be here if it werent for sub, but i want to say more and wont. I respect this forum, the users and mods


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 Post subject: Re: 3 years gone
PostPosted: Sat Jul 12, 2014 1:09 pm 
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no hard feelings dude. I love this forum and respect all our members very much, as it's been a huge part of my recovery. I hope things work out for you and for the person you are worrying about right now. my heart goes out to anyone fighting this beastly disease.


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