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PostPosted: Sat Mar 15, 2014 11:40 pm 
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Hi everyone! I've lurked a while and I've just registered but I'm not sure if I'll be well received in this forum because of my situation. So I thought I should post this first and see what you guys think before I get into a lot of detail about myself/background etc. and really participate here.

Okay I have been on Sub for 7 days and I am so grateful that I am taking it!!!! Without it I wouldn't have been able to stop using and (not to be dramatic) I truly feel it's saving my life. It's giving me some hope when I thought I didnt have any left. The thing is, I'm getting it from a friend not from a doctor. From what I've gathered while lurking that is a touchy subject here which I totally understand and of course, it's not legal. I'm conflicted about it myself.

Anyway, that's why I'm asking about joining/becoming a member here. This seems like a great supportive place that I'd like to be a part of and I wanted to be honest with you all first. :o)


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 16, 2014 9:04 am 
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Layla ..
Everyone is welcomed here. . So glad you foundus and subs..
I bn on them for 3 plus years.. Yes, its always best to get with a dr. Imo . Always. And for many reasons. However, if getting them off tbe street brings you closer the STARTING recovery fine...

Not to loug ago I was so dead set against " off the street " use I almost did somethings id regret today. Look, I know it cost money, a lot of money, but you'll get so much more out of treatment, I think, if ya you do it right. :-).. Again , glad you've gotten started and waiting to hear more back from you..have a great Sunday ....Everyone. ..RAZ....


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 16, 2014 11:41 am 
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Ditto to what Raz said.

Welcome to the forum!!

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 16, 2014 12:45 pm 
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Of course you're welcome here! You're trying to save yourself...

And of course we would like to see you get into program of you own not only for the safety of your recovery, but that of your friends as well. But like yourself, I also began my recovery journey getting Suboxone from "other" sources as I wasn't able to find a program and didn't have a prescription. I know there are many reason to why and that's ok because that's life, but we will encourage you to try and find a away to get into a program.

We are so glad you found us and I am sure you find much support from the great members we have here. The members here are so knowledgeable, kind, and supportive and I am sure you'll be welcomed with arms wide open (and queue Creed now :D )

Glad you found us and please, if you have any questions I am sure you'll find help as this forum covers so many wonderful topics. Feel free to read and post whenever you have something you'd like to talk about.

Much Luck,

Reprieve

(Had to edit this post and ad the link, just in the event you need to get it out of your system :lol: :lol: )https://youtu.be/99j0zLuNhi8

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 16, 2014 2:12 pm 
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Hi guys, thanks so much for replying! I feel a lot better hearing how you feel about my situation. I really feel the Subs are the only way I could have stopped using. I don't want to live that way anymore and I think this forum can help me with that a lot. Hopefully I will also be able to help other people here as well.

I want to elaborate why, besides financial reasons, (I just got laid off from my job/have no insurance) I haven't been to a Sub doctor yet.

One reason is I don't want the addict label in my medical record. I've worked in the medical field and have seen firsthand how this stigma can change a doctor or health care provider's opinion of a patient. Whether they mean to or not their entire demeanor is different towards a patient who is/was addicted to drugs or alcohol. Once this label is in your record it basically follows you everywhere you go for medical treatment and it will stay with you forever. Also quite honestly, I'm really ashamed of my drug addiction and simply don't want many people to know about it.

Another big thing is I'm afraid to go to a doctor because once I'm labeled an addict I'm sure 2 medications I have for my ADD and anxiety will be taken away. I take Wellbutrin and citalopram but the 2 I'm worried about are Ritalin and lorazepam (Ativan). I've taken Ritalin on and off for almost 20 years and lorazepam about 5 yrs (I was on Klonopin then Xanax years before but didn't like either so switched to lorazepam.) Both of these meds can be addicting for a lot people and since I am addicted to opiates most doctors will assume I'm addicted to these meds as well. I'm not addicted, abuse or even dependent on them at all but they definitely improve my quality of life very much and in some instances actually enable me to function so I don't want to be taken off of them.

Even though it's been 7 days since I've done a blue/H, which is the longest for me in years, (I'm sooo happy!!) I realize I am at the very beginning of becoming "sober." So my opinion/fears about going to see a doctor may very well change in time; this is just how I feel about it right now. I know though if I use again I will definitely go to a doctor. No questions asked. My plan right now is I have 20 more subs and I am going to taper them over the next 3 weeks. If needed I can get more and like I said if I use again I will def. just go to a Sub doctor. I am just totally new all of this, have never been in recovery before or anything and I'm kind of overwhelmed and not sure where to go from here. I just know I haven't used in 7 days, have no desire to (which is amazing and wonderful to me!) and I want to keep pushing forward.

Anyway I'm trying to keep this short cuz I tend to get really wordy :p but just wanted to explain myself a bit. If anyone has any questions, comments or suggestions for me I would appreciate them very much!!! :)


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 16, 2014 5:02 pm 
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Hi Layla, and welcome here. If you were in the medical field then you also know that your records are completely confidential w/o your approval. There has only been one doctor I encountered that gave me the one eyebrow look when I mentioned being on Suboxone. But overall, there has been no difference in treatment with me anyway.

Yes, you may have some trouble with the benzo. Not sure about Ritalin though. My current Sub doc is fine with whatever I need or ask for. My last one did take away my xanax and that bothered me for a little while.

IMO, the main reason we dislike people getting Suboxone off the street is strictly for selfish reasons. If the FDA decides that it is too easy to obtain illegally, they may change the rules of how we get it now. It could be a day to day thing like Methadone and we surely don't want that. Basically, it gives Sub a bad name. The drug saved my life and most everyone here too. We don't want to see the rules change in anyway that would make it harder for us. What we want is the 100 patient limit lifted so addicts can at least have a chance to live.

Do what you think is best. No one will bash you for it. Plus, your reasons are very valid ones.

Welcome to our forum!

rule

P.S. Think about what would happen if you get arrested using Suboxone illegally. That outcome is far worse than seeing a doctor. Just a thought.....

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 17, 2014 7:23 pm 
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Thanks for your reply Rule! Yeah the main reason you stated is really why I made my first post. I def would not want Sub to be regulated like that. I understand that it puts more of a stigma on them when ppl get them from the street/friend. I don't want things to get ruined for anyone.. for now I'm gonna finish the ones I have and see how I feel from there. I'm just not able to plan that far ahead yet. I'm still in awe and so happy that I've had no desire for my DOC in 8 days. I feel like I've gotten myself back.

Subs are giving me a chance, something I wouldn't have without them and I'm very, very thankful for that. It's just such a RELIEF to not be chasing down/thinking, worrying etc. about my DOC. I was beginning to feel like the only way out was suicide. So now that I've gotten a grip on myself lol, I can finally look ahead and move forward.

Thanks for your welcome and support! :)


Oh and Reprieve ever since I read your post that song has been stuck in my head lol :p


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 17, 2014 7:49 pm 
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I am glad you are doing well. My fear is that once you finish what you have, you won't have had enough time to make the adjustments and learn the tools to stay away from opiates when you get a craving. I can appreciate where you are at, but I also know from experience that now is the time to plan ahead when your able to be a bit more clear in your thoughts. You see already how subs can help you, now is the time to make sure that you can continue on this path.

Again, we are here to support in what ever decision you make so please keep us posted. There is plenty of good advice on tapering that could help you if your set on quitting all.

Muck luck,

Reprieve

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" Each relapse starts with one thought— maybe, just maybe, this time will be different… that little thought has killed thousands and thousands of opiate addicts over the years."
- Dr Jeffery Junig (Subox Doc)


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 17, 2014 8:02 pm 
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Hi Reprieve,

Well that's the thing... I'm not sure what my next step should be. I know from reading here that the chances of me staying clean after 1 month of Subs aren't good. I'm going to try though but if I start getting excessive cravings etc. I'm going make a dr. appointment to get a script. (even though it scares the crap outta me lol) I just wonder what I should be doing between now and then. Now that my head's in the right place I'm pretty overwhelmed. I've just never been in this type of situation.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 17, 2014 9:42 pm 
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I have a number of patients on stimulants, and would not consider buprenorphine to be a contraindication-- providing they can take the stimulants correctly.

But I do NOT prescribe stimulants and benzos to the same person-- unless the benzo is something taken rarely, like once per week for panic attacks. The reason is because the two classes of drugs are exact opposites. Stimulants increase wakefulness and focus, and have the side effect of causing anxiety. Benzos relieve anxiety, but have the side effect of decreasing wakefulness and focus. Benzos CAUSE ADD. Stimulants CAUSE anxiety. One is an upper, the other a downer. if the person needs help with focus, benzos are the wrong med. If the person has anxiety, stimulants are the wrong med... and so on.

Please give this a look: http://www.suboxonetalkzone.com/the-problem-with-benzodiazepines/

I have NEVER had a patient who didn't end up with LESS anxiety off benzos, than ON benzos. And I've helped many, many people get off benzos. They don't realize, at first, that they are fully tolerant to the benefits of benzos- so the only thing that benzos do for them is WEAR OFF!

I get a bit agitated about this issue...

Benzos are great when you have a person with severe grief who needs to be 'turned off' for a few days... but they are horrible long-term, and always make the anxiety worse over time. One of my favorite 'truisms' is that benzos turn manageable anxiety into an unmanageable anxiety disorder.

They won't harm your brain; in that way benzos are safe. But over time they make people less and less confident in themselves.

One guy's opinion...


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 28, 2014 12:43 pm 
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I am a naturally anxious person. So, naturally you would think my DOC would be benzos. I have had them about 4 times in my life. Once, when my baby had a febrile seizure and I thought she was dying in my arms. Yeah, I needed a chill pill after that doozy. I've also dabbled in a minuscule dosage before flights cause I'm a chicken. What has been unmistakeable in all instances was the profound REBOUND effect. What small respite I enjoy for about 6 hours is not worth the days of heightened anxiety in the days following. Well, the baby seizure one was worth it as I was a total spazz. But like admin says, it should be used only in dire circumstances. It amazes me how many people out there are taking benzos daily and routinely. Not because I'm judgy but because it is so clearly the reason people have such bad anxiety in the first place. ANYONE and everyone theoretically and biologically should be dependent on them by day 1. That rebound effect I have after a tiny chip of Xanax for a flight proves to me how powerful the stuff is.

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 10:00 am 
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Hi & Welcome Layla

I don't post often but when i read your situation I felt the need to post my experience, I am in the medical field. I was so addicted to pain meds I felt the way you did-suicide was the only way out but i couldn't do that to a very special person in my life. I tried so hard to quit on my own, cold turkey, tapering, alternative treatments & I couldn't get past 7 days. I was so afraid to go to a sub doc but it was the only option left for me (other than methadone clinic). Of course i also have true chronic & progressive pain (i am older) so i needed a doctor who understood that. I found an awesome doctor & his wife is the receptionist. It is just the two of them & I don't worry about them talking. He staggers his appointments so it's rare i ever see or meet anyone in the waiting room which makes me feel safe.

Suboxone is a stepping stone in recovery. It's a start but IMHO we have to learn to change our behavior & for me i have to deal with what i was hiding from. I also see an addiction therapist. You have a great start but if you have been using for a while it will take a while to learn what needs to change so you can live sober.

There are some great sub doc's out there & I believe if you can find a good doc it's the best way to go. They often have good information on recovery & can give you ideas on what your next step should be. Many people have found AA/NA very helpful.

There is alot of great info on this site. Read around & I am sure you will learn many things.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2014 11:14 am 
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Tiki, thanks so much for your kind reply...

It's funny that you mention dealing with what you had been hiding from. Just in the past couple of days I realized that was the main reason why I was using my DOC, to "hide" from some things I just couldn't deal with. In a way I was kind of putting my life on hold when I was using, keeping my head in the sand, in a limbo so I wouldn't have to deal with my problems and make some necessary decisions. But now it's becoming very clear that I have to....

I'm so glad that you have a great dr. he sounds really nice! I actually took my last sub 2 days ago. I was on them for 20 days. So far so good, no cravings, no major w/d yet so I'm hoping it'll work out for me. If not I will go right back on them and hopefully can find an awesome dr. like yours :o)


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