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PostPosted: Fri Sep 24, 2010 4:46 pm 
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I have been on suboxone for 3 yrs now. Being it is so expensive I have taken it sparingly. About 2-4 mg a day max.
Once I found out I was pregnant I planned on w/d. Working full time and taking care of my 4 yr old made this extremely hard on me. If i took a .5mg or a .25 mg i would start getting anxiety by days end. THen my legs would start to feel restless..Which is the absolute worse feeling in the world, from my perspective. I can never get past that, so I always try to take ativan and ambien but my damn legs still keep me up. I will then take .25 mg sub and 15 mins later im sound asleep. Also if i do get through the night, the next day i am so extrememly tired that i cannot move. Standing is to much. My eyes burn and I feel very achky. So This is what I have done.

I am now down to .25mg which is extremely low, i only take it as i feel a w/d coming. My subox dr actually prescribed me some norcs to help wein off the subutex bc my goal is to be off subs completely at the time of delivery to protect my baby and avoid complications with pain managment. I know thats kind of cheating but I figured id take such a low dose of norc like 1-2 a day that would stop my w/d. Bc i am 1/2 addicted physically and 1/2 addicted mentally. Norcs arent working as great as i suspected bc i have such a high tolerance to narcotics from the suboxone. Im really struggling inside.
I think about it all the time. I feel like a bad person. I wish I could go back to the time that i didnt even think about this stuff, to make me feel normal and live a normal day. I cant wait to have my baby and start back on subutex. I am such a better person on subs and i dont know when if ever that i will get off. Maybe one day I will find it with in me to fight my battle. I hope.
Any how,
since im only taking .25 mg of subutex every other day or even less that .25 everyday im confident that my baby will not have any NAS.
Since i just recently started taking the norcs like a week ago and am not taking them regularly at all, my baby shouldnt be affected by that either.
I think im going to be induced Monday. So i plan on not taking sub after sat.. I just really hope i can do it. Bc it really is so hard to kick. I cant sleep with out it and my legs are just horrible, i go crazy.
Does anyone have any advice words of encouragement or anything? im already beating myself up as it is, so please only reply if you truly understand what I am going through. and dont judge me. I know the situation im in is crappy i know it could be alot worse but then again im here and have to get thru it. My husband knows about my problem but no one else in my family does. Everyones going to be around when i deliver and im scared to death that they will find out and think im a druggy. BC it has been so long to convince them that i am clean and have been, which i have. do you think i will be able to get good enough pain relief? Bc a girl like me cant stand even a little pain, especially when there are drugs to prevent it. Any advice or ideas? Also my ob dr doesnt know that im taking subutex, bc i work at the hospital that im delievering at infact work with my ob and dont want to be judged. Its a small hospital and it would ruin my career if people suspected that im a drug addict, or placed that steriotype on me. If something were to happen i would definetley speak up but im thinking positively that it wont.
Thanks for letting me vent, and help advice or just words of encouragment and assurance would be greatly apreciated!

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 27, 2010 12:56 pm 
Hi Juls and welcome. Please don't feel like a bad person. It sounds like you are doing really well overall. I can understand you wanting to be off of all meds for the pregnancy, but that may just not be realistic. If you have a chance to read through some of the threads you will see that many other women have given birth on Sub, and despite some conflicts a few had with the medical staff, the outcomes for the babies have been good. You are on a very low dose, so I can understand you not wanting to reveal that to the OB. Just be careful with the norcos - maybe let your husband hold on to them. Hopefully you will have the baby next week and get back on your normal dose of sub. But even if it goes on longer, keep doing what your doing and trust that it will be over soon. I wish you and the baby all the best. Let us know how it is going.

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 12, 2010 3:02 pm 
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Hey hun. I know exactly what you are going through. My baby is 7 weeks old now and I took subutex throughout my pregnancy. My advice is to stop beating yourself up about this. I know its hard but try not to feel guilty. You are doing the best you can for you and your baby right now! Also do not plan to go into withdrawal before you go into labor. You DO NOT want to be withdrawaling while your in labor. You will need all the strength you have and honestly a few days of being off sub really isn't going to make a difference in whether or not your baby has withdrawals. My son is absolutely perfect, I was on 2mgs/day during my pregnancy and the doctors let him go home after 72 hours of watching him. Supposdely he didnt have any withdrawal but I thnk he did. Looking back on it the worst part about it was my guilt. Everytime he cried I thought it was because he was in pain from withdrawals. Anyways he cried alot in the beginning but after 2 weeks has been a complete angel. Just try not to feel too guilty no matter what happens. Im sure your baby will have no withdrawals or have extremely mild withdrawals because you are on such a tiny dose. That is a really great thing that you tapered so low. Its actually amazing to me that you were strong enough to do that while pregnant. I could not get lower than 2mgs no matter how hard I tried, it was terrible! You are doing absolutely fabulous! Keep it up hun. I hope your labor and delivery goes smoothly. Good luck. xx

If I had just one wish
Only one demand
I hope he's not like me
I hope he understands
That he can take this life
And hold it by the hand
And he can greet the world
With arms wide open...

JJL Due 8.14.10 <3

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