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PostPosted: Mon Jun 16, 2014 2:15 pm 
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so after my cousin stole my meds, i found out i have a huge ovarian cyst and im on hour 48 without my meds and i honestly want to kill myself. even knowing my sub dr appt is tomorrow i want to fucking die. i was on 24mg, down to 8 and i still feel awful....i hsv2 kids and im giving up


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 16, 2014 2:49 pm 
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Mon
Sorry man..i have read some of your other thread.
but giving up??? What do ya mean by that?
Lok your almost there.. easy for me to say huh?

Just try to hold on. Going back to whatever will just set you way back and all over again...

Ive always kept my subs locked up and hidden. Plus its a good idea to build i stock for bad times..
hang on....

Razor56..


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 16, 2014 3:11 pm 
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So its been 3 days since my cousin stole my meds- and it is becoming hell, like I am about to kill myself hell, I have nothing to help me and no clue how to get help at this point...not going to EMERGENCY room so they can shit on me. Lopermide, not working---Benadryl not working and sitting around isnt helping---I feel like this may be the first time I try something illegal if I can find it and say fuck it.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 16, 2014 3:28 pm 
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They were locked up in a suitcase, but crackheads can apparently sniff down and find anything...I got til tomorrow but I feel like hell and yes feel like walking in the middle of a highway and getting hit by a 16 wheeler and not giving a fuck. Atlanta has tons of super highways they can handle hitting one fat girl.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 16, 2014 3:53 pm 
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Hi Monikah,

I know it must feel like an eternity when you don't have your meds. Good thing that you do have an appt tomorrow. If i were you, I would see if the doctor's office can't call in one or two today to your pharmacy. I know I would at least try and ask.. All they can say is NO. But, it might set your mind at ease knowing you can get one today. Sorry you are in this situation.

I know that for me I keep some in my purse, and some in my bathroom. So for some reason if something happens to one of the places. (stolen purse for example) I at least have some back up.

Keep strong and just keep thinking that it is only just a matter of hours before you can see your doctor and try to give them a call about calling in a couple for you.
Good luck!


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 16, 2014 8:21 pm 
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as I read your posts I can feel your desperation and pain. please hang on until your appt though. I remember all too well the last WD I went thru before going on subs and it was down right traumatic, and I nearly said fuck it and went and used, BUT I didn't somehow, thank God. any other time I was going thru that bad, creepy crawly, wanna die misery , I'd do whatever or go wherever just to score and feel better, but that time was different. let this time be different for you also. it won't be long now and you'll have your meds and this nightmare will all be over. you are worth it, your recovery is worth it! hang on tight, post as much as you need. I truly do understand where you are coming from, and you'll be in my thoughts and prayers tonight.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 16, 2014 8:31 pm 
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i did get some lopermide and i must say the edge is off...its kinda bareable and i dont want to take a hammer to my head...i even called my pharmacy to tell them im coming tomorrow, please dont fuck around and not have my meds. they always just have 15....8mg strips never anymore than that, i also mentioned that next month my insurance will only pay for zubsolv....he didnt hear anything but the last word and started talking shit lol everything is always hard for me, hence im an opiate addict and im afraid if i come off subs, ima be out selling my fat ass for smak. so irritated with life.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 16, 2014 9:25 pm 
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Monica,

I know you feel like shit but just get through today and you'll be fine once more. No advice to give, you learned the hard way about locking up and hiding your Suboxone.

When I was first induced my doctor told me over and over about not leaving them out for anyone to see. I think I may have signed something saying I understood the implications of them hitting the street.

And BTW, I merged your two threads into this one. They were both the same so I made it one.

Why won't you try the emergency ward? They can give you one days dose up to three days total. All you need is enough for one day. I wouldn't give it a second thought. I'd have my butt in there waiting to see a doctor.

Hang on girl, and please stop saying such awful things about yourself. We all know they aren't true. Everyone deserves a chance at recovery. You'll be okay once you're dosed again.

rule

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 17, 2014 10:57 am 
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I made it through to my appt.....it was really hard, I actually felt proud that i didnt even go to the er cause i was about to.

I took some lopermide and some motrin 800 and was snapping all day Lol.

I really feel now i have to get off this stuff or somethings gotta give.....

thank you for your support...i could not have made it...

Now the big question, is lopermide going to make me go into withdrawls?


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 17, 2014 2:08 pm 
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Real suboxone withdrawal doesn't really hit until day 3 or 4, especially on that high of a dose. I'm honestly surprised that you were feeling that terrible. I wonder if it was more mental than physical? I certainly understand the mental aspect of it, being anxious, depressed and scared. I'm glad you made it! Hang on to those meds and try your best to keep the crackheads at bay. :)


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 17, 2014 2:17 pm 
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You Made It!!!!!
We knew you could do it...thank god..
I dont takecWD lightly, so hsts off. It had to have been hell.

Like Rule said, you have a second chance now.
You can move forward now. Just make sure you have some meds tucked away somewhere.

Now that your dosed up again you should not have any WD from anything..

I hear Zubslov works just fine so try not to worry about the switch. It ll be fine. Two of my friends made the switch, they like it..

Best of luck M, ............razor....


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 17, 2014 6:03 pm 
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I'm so glad you made it monikah! I was worried about you last night girl. try not to be so tough on yourself though. you sound like a good person who's been through a lot, many of us here identify with that, for sure, just remember that you're a good person, WORTHY of recovery and a better life!
You're doing the right thing by treating your addiction with medication, so try not to feel bad about that. as long as you continue doing the work of recovery and taking your meds, things can only get better for you. please keep your head up!


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 17, 2014 10:50 pm 
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OK-
First of All- How can someone tell ME when I am in withdrawl.

This is withdrawl and it isn't mental, when I am shitting my pants, Dry Heeving, unable to keep down water. My face was fucking twitching like hell, the shit was so funny because my son was like Mommy Why you doing the eye brow man face (Groucho Marx, Don't ask) I had to work 2 of the days like that. Trust me, I am more physically addicted than mental, because there are times when I FORGET to take it and end up sick.
SO PLEASE DON"T TELL ME WHAT *REAL* WITHDRAWL FEELS LIKE.
If I wasn't feeling bad, I would not be on here trying to keep from going to try crack or smack for the first time...

I went from 8 mg, to having 1 strip left and having to cut that into 8 pieces, your body does start to withdrawl with a jump, then going 2 days without anything. You don't know anything about me beyond what I said and if I am going to be Judged here and snarled at *I AM A BETTER SMACKHEAD THAN YOU, I KNOW MORE THAN YOU KEYBOARD GANGSTER BULLSHIT* THEN THIS WILL BE MY LAST POST.

For Those who helped me through that thanks, I was so afraid to do something stupid. I did not know about lopermide I actually only took half of my sub and feel much better so I think I am going to try to do 4mg to see how that works, that way I have a stockpile. I will be locking my shit up and making sure nothing happens to them. (I HOPE)

Take care and good luck to all of you.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 17, 2014 10:58 pm 
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please dont take tiny dancers post so personally. she is a long time, kind, contributing member of our forum who truly meant well by her post, and is full of knowledge and support for all,I those in need. she's inspired a great many people here to seek out stay in treatment or make the jump when ready. a real success story, with much time off bupe and much wisdom to share. I won't presume to speak for her, but I'm sure it wasn't her intention to insult you, as no one here is better than anyone else. I hope you'll decide to stick around


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 17, 2014 11:11 pm 
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Thanks^

Yeah, meant no harm. In my experience, and from what I know from others, the fear of not having Suboxone can cause some physical symptoms. Everyone is different, and when it comes to w/ding anything is possible. I'm just surprised is all. Yours is not a common experience, but I don't doubt you. I'm glad you're feeling better.


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