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PostPosted: Fri Jul 13, 2012 8:14 pm 
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Took my last Vic 2 750s at 1:00. I'm so filled with anxiety I can barely stand myself. I so want to be done with the person I have become and back to who I was. I've been on the Internet reading all day and am so confused. I have been so committed to this plan of recovery with subs but easier said than done when going thru wds and it's just beginning, dont know if I'll make the next 9 hours. My stomach is rolling and I can't stop crying. Feels like I have so many miles to go and I'm already so tired. Just needed to vent to anyone who's been where I am.


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 13, 2012 9:38 pm 
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Hi and welcome!

Hang in there, u will make it.

Read this thread if you haven't: http://suboxforum.com/viewtopic.php?t=6929

Another member just a few days ago same deal, now fine.

Read around induction discussion section old and new, this is a great forum for people on sub.

You just need to be in moderate withdrawal. Trust me it's worth it!!

You will feel great once you induce, i know it's hard to believe but it's true.

Good luck,

Glen b


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 13, 2012 9:42 pm 
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How long since your last dose? Was it 1am or 1pm? If its only been 6 hrs the withdrawl symptoms you are feeling are most likely your mind playing tricks on you. If its longer then you may in fact be beginning WD. You said that you have been researching all day and from my experience its the wrong thing to do because its consuming you. WD's stink no question about it but you aren't doing yourself any favors by dwelling on it.

All that being said congratulations on the decision to make a change. When do you plan on starting Sub's? I'm new to them as well but have gone through my fair share of WD's and although I don't really like how suboxone makes me feel I'm committed on changing. I was floored that 20 mins after my first dose all WD symptoms were gone and I haven't looked back. I stopped Norco dosing on monday at 4pm and had my first suboxone dose wednesday at 8am. 36 hours without was a small price to pay for how I feel now. Not once have I felt the urge to do a 180. Hope this helps.


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 13, 2012 10:42 pm 
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Hey Shellre,

I felt exactly like you before I got on Suboxone, I was scared shitless and I clearly remember thinking, "WTH am I gonna do if this stuff doesn't work??", but about 20 minutes after taking my first dose, I felt great.....I was astounded.

You CAN make it and it WILL be worth it.

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 1:35 am 
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Please give yourself a break! You don't have to move mountains today, i.e. become your old self in one day. Just keep going long enough to be in moderate withdrawal so you can take your suboxone. You can do this! Trust me, we've ALL been there! My sub doctor had me withdraw for 48 hours before he started me on sub. It was a miserable time, but I got through it and so can you! You are doing such a good thing for yourself and for your loved ones. The step you are taking is monumental, but that doesn't mean you have to have all of the answers right now! Be kind to yourself. Get through the withdrawal and induction and then you can start making sure you're doing the other things necessary for recovery.

You CAN do this!!! We are here for you!

Amy

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 3:47 am 
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My friend,
You don't just have the support of those who have kindly taken the time to post, you also have the support of everyone here who has read your post! We hope our strength can be your strength.

Addiction is hell, and withdrawal is hell. But the hell you're in -- and will continue to be in if you don't stop -- as an addict is far worse.

When you ask yourself which hell you prefer, the huge one which potentially lasts, and does you great damage, the rest of your life, or the day or so of hell in w/d, I hope the answer becomes easy for you and you select the latter with a newfound conviction and confidence.

Yes indeed, you can do this! 8)

SI


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 11:26 am 
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I made it. I took .25 at 3:00 am and fell asleep. I think the anxiety I was feeling just made it so hard to think logically. Ive never had an anxiety like that before but I think I worked myself up to it all day. Today I feel like a million dollars. I know I won't be spending all day looking for my doc or lying to my husband or neglecting my responsibilities in favor of the drug. I'm going to spend the weekend getting adjusted to the sub and well, just being happy and safe knowing Im not doing anything illegal or dangerous. Tuesday is when the hard work begins at my first therapy appt. I had a major life nightmare about 5 years ago I need to deal with but that's tuesday. Today is a day for being thankful. Thank you guys for responding and thank you for referring me at asiablues post. It gave me hope last night when I was pretty sure there wasn't any.


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 12:50 pm 
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good job Shellre, I'm on Day 4 right now and still don't really like how suboxone makes me feel but i think thats more of getting adjusted and getting the dose proper. One thing I do like is i'm not experiencing the opiate roller coaster. I haven't once even thought about looking for a Norco because its just easier to do this than to have to deal with the repercussions of the alternative. Stay focused and everything will be OK!


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 5:28 pm 
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Canucknnv I can relate to the roller coaster! Not having to do that is one of the things I am grateful for today. When I said I felt like a million dollars my last post I think it was because of the relief I felt from not being in w/d. I'm not actually feeling like myself today either. The first .25 I took this morning made me feel high but not in a good way. I leveled off but an hour later I was iratated with everyone and everything and since I was told by my doctor to take .25 every two hours until I felt o.k. I took another .25 which put me at .50. Well that made me tired and I've been on the couch sleeping but not really sleeping (weird) for the last 2 hours. I have read about the people who take the drug and feel normal right away. Others have to let the body adjust. Looks like both of us fall into the second category but I know I feel and I'm sure you do too it's better this than using and all the bad things that brings. I'm still so grateful to be done with the wds and off the drugs that I'm not going put too much worry in how long my body will take to get used to sub and you shouldn't either yet. Let's just celebrate being on the other side today so to speak! Please keep posting your progress and I will too!


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 8:44 pm 
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I suffer from the same sleeping issues. Sleeping but easily awoken and pretty much fully aware of what is going on around you the whole time. I think it has something to do with what the drug does to my breathing. Its not bad what it does i'm just more aware of each breath while laying down. I have figured out that at least for now I can only dose Suboxone (2-3mg) in the morning and that's it for the day. It's plenty to keep the WD's at bay and then at night I take 10-15mg of ambien on an empty stomach and I don't have any problem sleeping.

I'm not sure but I think in your case you should take more than .25mg. Try 1.5mg and see where that takes you throughout the day. I have been prescribed 8mg's twice a day which seems to be the dose a lot of people are on. I took 8mg's in the morning of day 1 and I was too high for too long and then i threw up a bunch of times in the afternoon. The next day and everyday since I've been under 4mg's for the entire day and still wake up the next day without wd symtoms. I also try to be more active during the day as the drug seems to send a surge of adrenalin in the first few hours and if i don't use it i tend to burn out a little, get tired but can't sleep.

For me, anyway i slice it, all of this is still better than WD's. I'm so used to looking at my life in 4 hour segments that its easy to forget that this is so much easier than the constant search for the next fix. We all know where life took us yesterday and we have to give tomorrow a chance.


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 8:51 pm 
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I'm not sure what the strengths are for subutex but I was referring to suboxone when I thought you might want to take more. I'm not sure which drug you are on.


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 9:47 pm 
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I am on suboxone too. And when i said .25 i meant 1/4 of a strip. Wow it's crazy when you tell me your experiences it's like talking to myself! I am also concerned about the multiple dosing. It feels way too much like my pill popping experience. My goal and hope is to take it once a day and then forget about it for the rest of the day. I think I'll take 1/2 strip tomorrow at once and see if I can get by. It's a great idea you have about getting active. I know I'm just laying here over thinking and obsessing too much which is causing more anxiety than I've ever had. Tomorrow I'm going to try and tackle one of the projects I've been meaning to get to and see if I can get my mind off it. I totally get the sleeping thing it drives me batty! So if I'm reading right you are taking 1/2 strip for the day and it's working for you?


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 1:08 am 
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I'm taking 1/3 of a strip as its easier to cut them in 3pcs than 4. I wake up, glass of iced tea to get rid of the carpet mouth and take it and as of today (day 4) i'm a little wired for a few hours but then I level out and feel pretty normal. I haven't done anything big to keep busy. Today was a little house cleaning, then dmv to register my pickup, then grocery shopping, then made lunch, watched tv for an hour then outside in 95 degree heat to water my trees after that another little break then cooked dinner. So as you can see nothing strenuous or major just keeping my mind doing other things besides dwelling on the fact that this stuff makes me feel weird.Make no mistake what I did today and for the last few days is way more than i've done for months. I don't have the Norco's in me sucking the life from me. I'm not planning my days around when my next handful of pills is going to happen. I'm not filling my pockets with pills when I go out to make sure i'm medicated the entire day. So by doing the normal things that you used to do, your actually just being normal. There will be time to lay on the couch and watch movies all day its just not until you've stabilized and are completely comfortable with your recovery. Idle hands are not our friends.

I also can't stress enough the importance of a sleep aid if you are having the same issues as I am. I take ambien, its cheap and it works. Melatonin also works real well and doesn't need a script but for me it gives me terrible RLS. We've both been given the gift of an easy way out and its up to us to sink or swim. Swimming is easy when its pain free. You'll do it no problem. I think from some of your previous posts that the worrying about the future seems to get a hold of you a little but heres the thing you already know what the past has delivered and you didn't like it and needed to change, so embrace the future and take everything that you lost back. I'm doing it and if I can you can too.

Do you have the suboxone copay card or are you paying cash? If its through insurance you can print off the copay card and don't have to pay a copay up to $50 until the end of the year. My sub is totally free and I have doctors falling all over themselves trying to get me on it. Nice change of pace, At the end I didn't have doctors doing that for Norco.

have a great night and make tomorrow a great day!


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 1:10 am 
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Its not just the physical addiction to beat. You need to beat the mental one too and you are well on your way.


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