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 Post subject: Why stop?????
PostPosted: Sun May 08, 2011 1:34 am 
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Ok so I'm 26... Ive been to 8 Inpatient rehabs ( each atleast 30-90 days) in past 5 years...

my last relapse i was doing about 500mgs of oxycodone injected 14x a day... Ive tried every possible way to recover...I know real sad story .. my life sucks...

Based on my past experience.. My Dr reccomend i stabalize and stay on sub for a few years.... Because it will probably save my life... I kinda agree with him and he says I shouldnt feel guilty taking sub...

Honestly i take Sub right now and feel absolutely normal... Yeah i dont wanna be dependent on meds either but i think i gotta accept the reality of my situation... I am a really bad addict and using for me is pretty close to death by how bad my addiction was getting...

If i take 4mgs-8mgs of sub and it keeps me clean considering i was injecting oxy 14x a day I'd say so what??
My dr says its like the diabetic taking insulin

Please someone tell me im not crazy...?

I realize Sub maintence isnt for everyone and not everyone needs or wants to take it long term.. But i feel im the type of person that should take it for the sake of my life and family...even if i dont wanna take it...

I been on sub 2 months now.. and my life has completely 360'd...


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PostPosted: Sun May 08, 2011 1:47 am 
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You are not crazy.

In my opinion (which is just the opinion of another recovering addict), at your age and with your history - there is no way that you should even be considering getting off of Suboxone at this point. You've only been on it for a couple of months, right? And it's working and you're doing better, right?

Go with that. Take care of your life. Learn what it feels like to live without abusing drugs. Build something for yourself - whatever it may be, you need to have things in your life to live for. Figure out what triggers you to use opiates and learn how to deal with those triggers. Get some hobbies and some new friends, go to school....live.

For now, for a good while, don't even worry yourself with questions about stopping Suboxone. Maybe you will get to that place someday, and maybe you won't...but for the time being you don't even need to go there. Take your medicine just like you would for any other dangerous, potentially fatal illness.

For what it's worth, I stayed on Sub for about 2 years and it was one of the best decisions I've ever made for myself. I was able to fix so many things and learn so much about how to live a healthy life during that time. When I started Sub I thought I would stay on it forever, but I didn't worry about it too much. I just worked on my recovery and then I came to a point when I knew it was time to taper off.

Good luck!

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PostPosted: Sun May 08, 2011 1:56 am 
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The specific part of this message board are about people trying to get off subs. A lot of people dont want to take it for the rest of their life. Suboxone probably saved all of our lives from drugs.

Good job getting off the oxy. Thats where it starts. I sure as fuck remember where I was with that stuff.


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PostPosted: Sun May 08, 2011 10:53 pm 
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I have been on sub. for almost 2 years and I have no plans to get off anytime soon. I was in active addiction for 25 years. If I did not have a opiod, I drank. I have no problem being on this med. My Dr. agrees, and if things change and I want to taper off I will. I have no qualms with being phisically dependent upon sub.


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PostPosted: Mon May 09, 2011 2:05 am 
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Getting off Suboxone is hard. I wasn't even addicted to opiates before this whole Sub thing, but I am an alcoholic and this is enough to make me worry about relapsing on alcohol. I'm not going to, but I'm watching my back. I would never suggest you try to get off Sub anytime soon. Maybe sometime down the road. I don't think you will really have to think about it. If there is a time that you are ready to get off, you will kinda just know and it will feel like the right thing to do. Don't stress. Enjoy the fact that you put the madness of active addiction in the past. Enjoy your new freedom and don't add the stress of having to plan a Sub taper to your plate. There is no reason to do that. It ain't broke, so don't fix it.

I wish you the very, very best!!

laddertipper

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First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you. ~F. Scott Fitzgerald


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PostPosted: Mon May 09, 2011 11:41 am 
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wait so did you get put on suboxone for alcoholism? I did not know they do that. I have abused alot of drugs and being completely sober is my only option. I drank heavily fresh and soph year at penn st pretty much everyday. then junior year i took it easy with the drinking and starting doing coke. after i stopped with the coke i was prescribed xanax and after I stopped taking them I jumped to opiates and thats where I am now. In the last month I have weened from 12mg of sub down to 2mg of sub everyday. I really want to be off by mid or end of june. I am going to ask for clondine at my next doctors appointment.


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PostPosted: Mon May 09, 2011 3:12 pm 
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tlongx012 wrote:
wait so did you get put on suboxone for alcoholism? I did not know they do that. I have abused alot of drugs and being completely sober is my only option. I drank heavily fresh and soph year at penn st pretty much everyday. then junior year i took it easy with the drinking and starting doing coke. after i stopped with the coke i was prescribed xanax and after I stopped taking them I jumped to opiates and thats where I am now. In the last month I have weened from 12mg of sub down to 2mg of sub everyday. I really want to be off by mid or end of june. I am going to ask for clondine at my next doctors appointment.


Well, I wasn't exactly put on Sub for alcoholism. I was/am an alcoholic and I fell off a ladder, hence my screen name. Ironically, even though I fell down or fell over many, many times from being drunk, when I fell off that ladder, I was sober!! Anyway, I sustained injuries that required me to take pain medication, which was supposed to be a forever-kind of problem. The pain doctor suggested Oxycontin. I was a regular meeting attender and there was no way I was going to take Oxy; I just knew it would probably get me. So, I found out about Suboxone....which is Buprenorphine (a pain med). This was a better choice for me, because you don't keep increasing your dose over time, as it doesn't make you high. I guess this whole plan worked out, in the end, even though I do get irritated that I am on Suboxone when I did not even get to enjoy something like Oxycontin first. (That's how my addict brain thinks!) I did not get addicted to regular opiates and I don't have cravings for them, although I'm tapering off Sub. Maybe it was a good idea, in hindsight. Its impossible to know what would have happened if I chose the Oxy instead.

You have weaned down from 12 to 2 mg in the last month?! That's really good progress!! Are you stable at 2 mg? It's taken me since the end of October to get from 8 mg to 1 mg, and I'm still not all the way adjusted to it yet. I'm impressed at how fast you've been able to go.

laddertipper

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First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you. ~F. Scott Fitzgerald


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PostPosted: Mon May 09, 2011 3:43 pm 
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laddertipper wrote:
tlongx012 wrote:
wait so did you get put on suboxone for alcoholism? I did not know they do that. I have abused alot of drugs and being completely sober is my only option. I drank heavily fresh and soph year at penn st pretty much everyday. then junior year i took it easy with the drinking and starting doing coke. after i stopped with the coke i was prescribed xanax and after I stopped taking them I jumped to opiates and thats where I am now. In the last month I have weened from 12mg of sub down to 2mg of sub everyday. I really want to be off by mid or end of june. I am going to ask for clondine at my next doctors appointment.


Well, I wasn't exactly put on Sub for alcoholism. I was/am an alcoholic and I fell off a ladder, hence my screen name. Ironically, even though I fell down or fell over many, many times from being drunk, when I fell off that ladder, I was sober!! Anyway, I sustained injuries that required me to take pain medication, which was supposed to be a forever-kind of problem. The pain doctor suggested Oxycontin. I was a regular meeting attender and there was no way I was going to take Oxy; I just knew it would probably get me. So, I found out about Suboxone....which is Buprenorphine (a pain med). This was a better choice for me, because you don't keep increasing your dose over time, as it doesn't make you high. I guess this whole plan worked out, in the end, even though I do get irritated that I am on Suboxone when I did not even get to enjoy something like Oxycontin first. (That's how my addict brain thinks!) I did not get addicted to regular opiates and I don't have cravings for them, although I'm tapering off Sub. Maybe it was a good idea, in hindsight. Its impossible to know what would have happened if I chose the Oxy instead.

You have weaned down from 12 to 2 mg in the last month?! That's really good progress!! Are you stable at 2 mg? It's taken me since the end of October to get from 8 mg to 1 mg, and I'm still not all the way adjusted to it yet. I'm impressed at how fast you've been able to go.

laddertipper



Yeah, it's good you never went the oxy route, especially for a drinker. Cause I'll tell you what's fun to do while high on pain meds... booze.

Oh back in the day. My addiction was to both substances and in a way they fueled each other. I needed them both, but couldn't have one without the other. With the amount of pills I was popping combined with the alcohol consumption (obvious no-no), it's amazing that I'm not dead. Actually I almost did OD once, but as soon as I felt a little better I was back at it.

Woah, serious self-reflective moment. I was pretty messed up.

Oh well. Doing alright now. Stopped counting the days. I think on day 7 or 8 of no subox.


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PostPosted: Mon May 09, 2011 8:56 pm 
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I have to agree with a number of things in this conversation. One with the reason for the thread:

You should definately stay on the subs. You said the magic words to me (my life has made a 360). This was much like my story. Went for useless to useful again. So if the subs make you function and productive stay on them and let your brain heal. Mentally and physically. For me I just came to the point where I decided the subs reminded me of my addiction to the pain meds and I wanted to put it all behind me. When you can say that to yourself whether it be 6 months from now or 2 years, the CONSIDER tapering as the advice here states can make the drop less painfull. All you should be thinking right now is how proud you should be of the progress you have made and not when and how you get off subs. Enjoy parts of your life your addiction held you from and listen to your heart about when your ready to make any changes. Make sure not to confuse other peoples stories with your own. If subs makes you feel normal and your relationsips heathlier with your family then enjoy that and do not do to much worrying about subs just yet...

Congrats and good luck.

LADDER: you have no idea how lucky you are you did not start taking oxycotins as an alcholic. They are two terrible combos as they feed into each other. That would have been a slippery slope that could of very likely have killed me since thats is how I spiraled, mixing booze and oxycotin.


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PostPosted: Mon May 09, 2011 9:15 pm 
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Yeah, I guess maybe I should really be glad I did not go the Oxy route. It would probably be very helpful to know what would have happened if I'd done that. I could be dead. I forget that and focus on how irritated I am that I'm trying to get off Sub and how hard it is, but it could absolutely be worse. I remember so clearly having my neurosurgeon shift my pain management to my neurologist, who shifted it to my pain doc and he gave me the option to take Oxy, but he also painted a very accurate picture of what the meant I may be getting into. I KNEW if I went down that path, I'd be doomed, and I had just finally started getting my drinking under control after years of relapsing. Didn't want to screw it all up with a new wicked addiction and all the horror stories I'd heard from friends fighting to get off Oxy scared me to death. The fact that I get mad reflecting on all the Oxy I did not get to take before having to deal with this Sub dependency kinda proves that I had no business taking Oxy. :D

laddertipper

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First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you. ~F. Scott Fitzgerald


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 Post subject: duel
PostPosted: Mon May 09, 2011 10:00 pm 
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ya. i drank for 30 years. then got injurd. took oxycontin and more stupid.
started drinking on it at 30 to 50 mgs every 3 days,and ended up in e.r or sober jail
lots of times.and ended up in hospital were thay started me on 24 mgs subs
was discharged in 1 week. they left me with only 10 8mg subs,and told me i was
on my own with no sub doctor. i weaned down to about 2 mgs ran out ,and in 2 days
found a sub doc,this was about 13 months ago. but i also always wounder
where i would have been if i did not find a sub doc? my gues is prably dead.
4 months ago i stoped the heavy drinking. thank god the freaking oxys never
work any more it was just more depressing wile drinking on it.


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PostPosted: Tue May 10, 2011 9:46 am 
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@ laddertipper. I understand now why you chose the route of suboxone over oxycontin. Oxy would not have been a good path for you and all the power to you for turning down a script of that. I think my body is adjusted to the 2mg, i feel a little crappy when i first wake up, but as soon as I pick up my little boy I feel better. It's hard going to work and leaving the little man. He will be 6 weeks in two days. I think I am going to slow the taper down a little bit and wean slowly down to 1mg over the next month. I think its important to realize how far I have come so far and not rush the jump until my body is totally ready for it.


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PostPosted: Tue May 10, 2011 11:00 am 
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tlongx012 wrote:
@ laddertipper. I understand now why you chose the route of suboxone over oxycontin. Oxy would not have been a good path for you and all the power to you for turning down a script of that. I think my body is adjusted to the 2mg, i feel a little crappy when i first wake up, but as soon as I pick up my little boy I feel better. It's hard going to work and leaving the little man. He will be 6 weeks in two days. I think I am going to slow the taper down a little bit and wean slowly down to 1mg over the next month. I think its important to realize how far I have come so far and not rush the jump until my body is totally ready for it.


Leaving your baby must be tough. Hopefully, soon it will seem normal. On the other hand, you can absolutely go a little nuts if you do nothing but take care of a baby alll the time, if you know what I mean. There's a healthy balance.

You are so right on with slowing down your taper. I had to slow mine down. It all changed at the lower doses. You have blown down very fast on your dose. If you take a break, I'd be wiling to bet it will be easier for you in the future when you taper further. If you push further now, it will only be tougher and tougher. Why do that? You are on the right track. Everyday you stay at 2 mg, you are actually moving further along. Try to see it that way, because it's true. 12 to 2 mg in a month is crazy fast progress.

laddertipper

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First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you. ~F. Scott Fitzgerald


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PostPosted: Tue May 10, 2011 11:37 am 
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thanks for the words of encouragement. we can do this, slow and steady wins the race.


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