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PostPosted: Wed Dec 01, 2010 3:49 pm 
Junkie781:

I've definitely had relapse after relapse after relapse but it was before i found suboxone/subutex. Had it not been for this medication i wouldnt have been able to come out of active addiction. I've been to 5 rehabs. Nothing ever came close to working. Im only 25 and i already have problems with my heart because of other drugs i use to do. I cant do drugs anymore. They were killing me, literally. I have health problems to this day because of drugs. I do know without a doubt that i cannot touch a drug or drink because i have the disease. I just dont put the lable on myself. I dont think im cured. In fact i know im not. I've just found a way to live without drugs and im very comfortable with life now. I use to struggle with self esteem issues etc. I pretty much did drugs to self medicate. But the problem came in when i did them to the point that i became addicted. I will say that i cant really think of any argument to go against what you've said but, like i said i know i have the disease. I just dont use the lable. Anyways, thanks for your input!! ~PEACE~


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 01, 2010 4:37 pm 
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Congratulations on your upcoming 2 months linds,

The sun going down gets to me too, but then again it always has...adapt and overcome, it's just another challenge for us to work through.

I sure remember you, you were the one who was always cleaning the house, then you were going to paint the house. It always amazed me how you had the energy early on to do anything.

Happy you're doing well.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 01, 2010 6:07 pm 
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lifesaver wrote:
Junkie781:

I've definitely had relapse after relapse after relapse but it was before i found suboxone/subutex. Had it not been for this medication i wouldnt have been able to come out of active addiction. I've been to 5 rehabs. Nothing ever came close to working. Im only 25 and i already have problems with my heart because of other drugs i use to do. I cant do drugs anymore. They were killing me, literally. I have health problems to this day because of drugs. I do know without a doubt that i cannot touch a drug or drink because i have the disease. I just dont put the lable on myself. I dont think im cured. In fact i know im not. I've just found a way to live without drugs and im very comfortable with life now. I use to struggle with self esteem issues etc. I pretty much did drugs to self medicate. But the problem came in when i did them to the point that i became addicted. I will say that i cant really think of any argument to go against what you've said but, like i said i know i have the disease. I just dont use the lable. Anyways, thanks for your input!! ~PEACE~


25, damn. I've give my left leg to be 25 again. :lol:

Anyway, for me, I came to terms with the fact that I'm an addict many years ago. Probably when I was your age. At that point, I was two years into a 20 year prison term. I realized, after many years, that there is no shame in being an addict. There is only shame in knowing you're an addict and not doing something about it.

If what you're doing is working for you, KEEP DOING IT!! 8)


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 05, 2010 1:23 pm 
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I don't like the term addict either. I prefer to call myself "narcotic sensitive" meaning I can't take them. I can drink without over-drinking. I can even take valium without abusing it. I just can't take narcotics. Even when I was off sub for three months I couldn't take narcotics. I did take them responsibly for pain for a while, but I had to take so much of it and was still suffering PAWS which caused me to enjoy them for the psychological relief they provided. I did run out of them after surgery and didn't ask for a refill and I didn't go out on the street for more. But I was terrified of withdrawal when they ran out and felt like an "addict". Because of my chonic pain and medical issues, I decided it was better to just go back on sub because I didn't feel I could responsibly take the narcotics I would otherwise have to take to manage day to day. It has been over three years since I abused drugs in any fashion. But I am still narcotic sensitive.

I have no illusions that I will ever be able to take narcotics in a normal fashion. Just like someone who has lost 100 pounds would know they have to be vigilant. I liked that example that was given. If you lost 100 pounds you wouldn't likely call yourself fat anymore. You probably wouldn't call yourself an overeater either if you had discontinued the behavior. But you may call yourself food sensitive or you may still say you had an eating disorder. Well I have a narcotics disorder. I far prefer that over the word "addict". The truth is that there are massive negative connotations with that word and I don't really consider myself a "recovering accict" either. I don't go to NA/AA and the word "recovery" is associated with meetings.

I am on an ongoing quest for a fulfilling and meaningful life that is free of any active dependency or maladaptive behavior.

I don't think the label is necessary to be healthy and I don't think your preference not to use it means anything negative unless you lack a true understanding of what your past habit means for you today. I don't think that is the case for you and I don't think it is a slippery slope either.

Let's keep in mind that all the terms, philosophies, sayings, and beliefs from NA/AA came in a time before medication assisted recovery. Things are changing and thoughts and attitudes and beliefs change with it. I just don't think NA/AA philosophies mesh well with suboxone.

Cherie

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Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things.

- Winston Churchill


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 05, 2010 2:19 pm 
Jackcrack:

I love everything you said!! Its all so true and i believe if i must use a word/words to lablet myself, which i dont but if i did, i would definitely use narcotic sensitive because its exactly what i am. Thats all. People can say that im maybe in denial, but i am not. I know my boundaries. I also believe we are in a totally different age when it comes to addiction. Sub treatment is a whole other aspect to addiction. It doesnt even resemble NA or the 12 steps. All i mean is, i can take sub and live my life without all that extra stuff. It may sound like im cheating or taking the easy road but to people who think its that, well im sorry you feel that way but my life is more important than cheating or not cheating so if sub is the only way i can stay off drugs then you damn right im cheating lol. Anyways, thanks jackcrack and everyone else who has responded!! Hope everyone has a great day!! JUST SAY NO!! LOL


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 05, 2010 2:22 pm 
Oh yea, sorry but i wanted to make one thing clear. I am in no way discrediting NA or the 12 steps. Im sure they do work for many people but they are not for me. I have made many many attemtps to work the steps with failure everytime. So, for those of you who are working the steps and achieving your goals, CONGRAGULATIONS!! Anyways, peaceout!!


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 05, 2010 2:46 pm 
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I believe the term "addict" applies because of the nature of the disease. We are never "cured", we are in remission. To say we are no longer addicts ignores what will happen if we choose to pick it up again. Of course, all of these are labels, and some like or dislike them, or choose others.

Incidentally, nothing I know of "requires" anyone to call themselves anything in NA or AA. The only requirement is a desire to stop *whatever*. The business of saying "I'm Tom and I'm an alcoholic" is sort of a traditional ritual, but not a required action. Of course there will always be some asshole who tries to force it upon someone!


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