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PostPosted: Wed Jan 11, 2017 10:00 pm 
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A bit of a roll call.

Who is doing well and kicking goals and got 12+ months up post sub without a hitch? Just curious. Especially those with multiple years.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 11, 2017 11:58 pm 
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Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2016 3:11 am
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Location: Douglas, Ga.
Haven't made it to the 12 month mark yet but 7 months tomorrow for me! :)

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~Leavens


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 12, 2017 1:28 am 
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May 2017 will be 6 yrs off bup for me. A miracle drug. Only hitch is still earning trust and confidence back from a couple family members and friends, they have long memories. Almost there tho!


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 12, 2017 4:00 am 
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Congratulations Pelican. That's one heck of an achievement. No doubt your family and friends are 99 percent there.

For me, likely for most, the hardest part is forgiving myself. Every once in a while....like every five minutes :D when I'm really wallowing in it....I think about how much money I blew. I just about literally could have flushed it down the toilet, for all the good it did me the last few years. It's been not quite two months on subs, and yet already I'm finding it difficult to understand why it took me so long to find the courage. Ah well, I 'spose that's why they call it that. Courage that is. A person has to be brave to have courage
:D

Courage never worked for me as an addict.

What did work was desperation, quite rightly referred to as a gift in the halls. The subs make it so easy to stay away from the opiates in a physical sense. I don't need 'em any longer. That's an amazing turn of events. I can still barely believe it.

But there's a lot of work still to do.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 12, 2017 10:45 am 
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Leaven and Pelican...... awesome! I really wish I could use my emojis, I'd have used the fireworks! But I'll use this instead ☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ lol.

Pelican, wow, ur an inspiration big time!

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 12, 2017 12:56 pm 
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Thanks jennjenn, You've been a big help to me here. Am totally w you Godfrey on the forgiveness of self. I still have bursts of pain, tho Infrequent and more and more fleeting as time goes by.

I believe when Teejay asked about any hitches, he means slips or relapses. None of those luckily. I keep a 5.5+ yr old stockpile of sub films bc that's the first I'd go back to and NO, that would NOT be a relapse.

Or hitches might be if any of the usual addict behavior pops up? Judging, lies, denial... yep, infrequently, I can nanosecond sink into 'I didn't hurt anyone, including me' or 'no real life loss from it'. Or when family said I'm one of the lucky ones to be doing so well given the odds, I mentally angrily flashed into denial. 'I never got that bad' and 'never would have happened to ME'. Yes, I still feel easily judged on getting addicted and still feel shame if provoked. I'm not sure that will ever go away but I can now easily handle it. I've gotten back most all except the time I lost and my marriage. Altho it took me awhile to accept, my ex quickly remarried and I truly hope all is well w them. Best, P


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2017 4:00 pm 
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3 years off here. Have been doing really well. Still finding gradual improvements to my baseline mood with time. No longer counting the days/months/years since, so no longer focused on things returning to normal; I guess that means I am normal, if there was ever such a thing. :)

All of my interests have changed and evolved over the last 12 months. Something odd; I no longer get much if any pleasure from material objects. To keep a positive frame of reference in this shallow, material, spiritually corrupt world requires a lot of meditation. It makes sense that some of the best of us fall ruin to substance abuse - we struggle to cope because we lack the bliss of ignorance in the face of overwhelming contradiction; forced to retreat to distraction - the prescription handed down in the subtext of western society.

All in all, to exist in this time, free of the burdeon of chemical supplementation is an epic gift worthy of intense gratitude! :)

Sorry for the cryptic writing style, unfortunately overt complexity comes with the territory. :D


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