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PostPosted: Sun Nov 18, 2012 11:09 pm 
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She likes Twilight :?

I had to go see it with her at the end of exams when I just wanted to go out and let off some steam. It was possibly the worst movie I've ever seen, but she loved it. It was while watching it that I actually started to think about what we had in common. She doesn't like my movies. We feel the same about each other's music. She likes pop culture I like alternative. She hadn't even heard any Beatles songs, let alone anything else. She likes talking about girly stuff and how hot Robert Pattinson and Liam Hemsworth are ... I like talking about the world and politics and medicine and technology and writing music. I like cooking she gets take-away every day. She plays Farmville I sit on suboxforum. Her history is in the far outer suburbs, where she wants to buy a house. I'm an inner-city guy.

This started off as a joke post kinda and it's gone all serious. There's virtually no cross-over in our interests whatsoever. I dunno if we'll have legs to last after this early romance intensity fades.

Anyway sorry to be serious I just had to ... BLERRG


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2012 12:19 am 
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Oh shit ur girl is a normie!

Jk, but I hear you. I tried to date girls in the past in this same situation. way before I was married of course. It never lasted for me... Not to discourage you though. I believe only you will know if it's going to last. Us addicts can tend to be picky as hell too don't forget! We can sure over think stuff like this...

:)


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2012 2:02 am 
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well,,,
honestly you must have ONE THING in common, or why would you be together????


even if it IS just the fact you want to make EACH OTHER happy, it MIGHT be enough.

crazier things have happened.


my husband and I have had SEVERAL "blurps" in time, where I felt like we had NOTHING in common, (12 years together)
where I felt like we were more just ROOMATES, than any kind of marriage, , , , ,

It's totally common to fall in and OUT of love over the years, but if you have this common "glue" that holds you
together thru the NOT so passoinate times, soon enough the HOT times, come rolling along again............


At least for US, that's how it's worked.
our relationship is the best it's been now.

good luck.
you deserve to be HAPPY
if you find it, grab on to it with both hands and don't let go,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,ever

Life's too short, not to experience love/lust/intimacy/passion

Even if it ends in a breakup.

_________________
anyone can give up,
its the easiest thing in the world to do, but to
hold it together, when everyone would understand if you fell apart
That's TRUE STRENGTH
http://almostoneyearclean.blogspot.com/


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2012 4:48 am 
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Thanks for your pearls of wisdom.

Amber I guess we both like Dexter? For the most part it was born out of attraction, chemistry etc. Dunno if chemistry has legs to last tho.


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2012 7:40 am 
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Ahwell we just broke up.

Shit happens. But definitely for the best.


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2012 1:32 pm 
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[font=Comic Sans MS]I'm sorry to hear that TeeJay. To be completely honest with you, it sounds like it probably was for the best.
I agree with the whole idea that if you can experience love, and passion, and all that, that you shouldn't pass it
up. But I also am one of those people that doesn't think you should settle.
I personally, have been single in every sense of the word for almost 3 years. The last time that I had any kind of....
.....lets just call it "attention" lol, was when my son was conceived. LOL!! Yes, he is 21 months old tomorrow, and I
am ok with that. In fact, I don't even care. It's not because I couldn't, it's because I will NOT SETTLE.
I believe that for a relationship to work, there has to be a good foundation there. There has to be a
solid friendship underneath. There has to be a mutual respect, admiration, and understanding, of the other
person. From both sides.
Too many people are afraid of being alone. I like it. I enjoy the time alone. I like not having to answer to anyone.
I like that there are no complications.
Don't get me wrong, I also enjoy the company of someone that I truly connect with. Someone who I value in the
same way that they value me. Someone who I share common ideas, and interests with. Someone who makes
my days easier, and my life more meaningful. But until then, I am ok with being on my own. I am happy that way.
I hope that you are ok too. Do you think that maybe you kinda knew that this was best? Deep down? I think we know
that even if we don't say it out loud. I hope that you really do feel that this was for the best. If not, maybe you will
reconnect down the line. For now, I just hope that you are doing what ever it is that you need to do to be ok with you.
Let me know if there is anything that you need. Even if you just wanna chat. PM me.... [/font]

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"All great changes are preceded by chaos."
~Deepak Chopra


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2012 2:21 pm 
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TeeJay wrote:

She hadn't even heard any Beatles songs, let alone anything else.



FAIL.


Seriously though, you have to have some things in common with a partner to withstand the test of time. If you are looking for temporary fun.. just hanging out with someone, that's ok. But in the end, the things that will keep you together are similar interests. I have married couple friends who don't enjoy doing things together and while they are still married, the quality of marriage is not ideal. Their idea of a good time is separating and doing their own thing. My husband and I have a lot in common (music, movies, travel, billiards, golf, tv shows, sense of humor, even addiction..) We're always laughing and truly enjoy each other's company. We also enjoy time apart of course.. there has to be a balance. Having said all that, I still enjoy the occasional rom-com and he could care less. =)


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 Post subject: Lots of fish in the sea
PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2012 5:34 pm 
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TeeJay:

LOL I wrote a big reply about how physical attraction fades away and how its important to have some intellectual stimulation in a relationship and how guys should always look at the girl's mother and ask themselves if that's what they want to be married to in 20 years.....

And then I read that you broke up before I posted it :>)

Breaking up is never easy but I agree that it was probably for the best.

Huge Beatles fan,
Jimmy


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 Post subject: Oh NO!!!!
PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2012 6:10 pm 
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Ummmm, TJ.....according to your likes and dislikes.....it looks like you and I should be dating. :shock: ...... :lol:

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 20, 2012 1:11 am 
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YEP.......shit happens,,,,,,

AND,, the BEST relationship "advice" I was EVER given was

"first you have to LEARN to LOVE YOURSELF, before you can love anybody else,,,, BE alone for awhile,
know that you CAN make it on your own, AND honestly believe you ARE In GOOD company when your alone"

it makes sense in SOOO many different ways,,, at LEAST TO ME!!!
:lol: :lol: :lol:

There's plenty of fish in the sea,,,
and Im sure you'll find true companshiop ONE day,,,,
honestly I think it happens when you completely give up on it, and finally realize your HAPPY the "way things are"

then BAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
it hits ya like a TON of bricks!!! 8)

GOOD LUCK TJ
remember, I still love ya :wink:

_________________
anyone can give up,
its the easiest thing in the world to do, but to
hold it together, when everyone would understand if you fell apart
That's TRUE STRENGTH
http://almostoneyearclean.blogspot.com/


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 20, 2012 2:55 am 
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Sorry to hear this TJ.....

Hope you are ok.

You seem like a smart thoughtful guy and I know you will find the right person.

Take care of yourself!


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 20, 2012 6:28 am 
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Thanks everyone. You've been a real help. It's true Romeo our bromance would be one big crazy party that'd put Charlie Sheen to shame. :lol:

Anyway. It's pretty obvious my girl and I still have some feelings for each other. But like Goinstrong said I dunno if I'm ready to give-up on meeting someone with some brains. Is that mean? :)


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 20, 2012 7:02 am 
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[font=Comic Sans MS]NO IT ISN'T MEAN!!!! You have got to be able to have some kind of stimulating conversation. The kind that sparks a passion in
you. Not the kind that sparks Team Edward. LOL!

Look TJ, you have a god given right to be happy. To be deleriously happy. Everyone does. But its like Amber said, you also
have to be ok with you. Just being in the company of yourself. It wasn't until the last few years that I realized what I was
willing to put up with, and NOT willing to put up with from a significant other. I realized all of this when I was alone. Single.
I got to know who I am, and what I like. What my TRUE passions are. Not the ones I have because my SO likes them. Does
that make sense?

My sister, worked out like crazy every time her and her stupid bf got together, because HE loved it. A few days ago, I offered
to get a membership at the gym she goes to, so that she would have a work out partner. (I love working out). She said
no thats ok, I don't like going anyway. WHAT?! I asked her why the hell she was going 5 days a week then???? Becuase he
was. To me, that is a total waste of time and money. Now she has a membership and no interest in going. Stupid.

You and Romeo should just hook up. It sounds like a match made in heaven. And it would take a lot of work to put Charlie
Sheen to shame!!! LOL!!!! You would have your work cut out for you, for sure!

You'll be ok TJ. You are a smart man, and you need someone that sees that, and feeds off of it. Someone that makes you
come alive. Someone that likes the beatles at the very least for gods sake. They are the foundation for which all good
music comes from!!!!! Even Justin Beiber knows that! LOL! Let me guess...she LOVES Justin Beiber??? LOL! [/font]

_________________
"All great changes are preceded by chaos."
~Deepak Chopra


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 26, 2012 12:19 am 
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Lol after all your kind words of support and wisdom and advice not to settle. I found myself staying at her place lastnight. I think we're going to give it another try. Despite acknowledging we're both two very different people we couldn't deny that we still meant a lot to each other. We'll take it slowwwww methinks.


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 26, 2012 8:41 am 
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[font=Comic Sans MS]Hey, ya never know, they say opposites attract, right? I think that it's a good idea to take it slow like you said.
See where things are in a little while. Maybe you just need to do your own things, more often??? I don't know
how much time you guys spend together. But whatever the case, neither one of you should be sacrificing who
you are as a person, just to be in this relationship. K? Good luck TJ....I miss calling you tearjerker...LOL[/font]

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"All great changes are preceded by chaos."
~Deepak Chopra


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 26, 2012 5:24 pm 
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Hey TJ,

There's no way I can even guess if this girl is "the" girl for you or not, only you can figure that out, but I will say this....my wife and I are from two different countries, two different "styles" of living. We had some things in common when we met, but we were by no means two peas in a pod. We did, however, know that we both shared a similar moral base, we knew fairly quickly that we loved each other and from my perspective, my wife is an incredibly stabilizing force in my life. But, I'm also.....I don't wanna say destabilizing force in her life.....ummmm.....you know what I mean. I needed her to help stabilize me and she needed me to help her live outside of the box a little bit.

Having dissimilar interests is certainly not all bad, it can be used as something to actually help bring you two together if you're both willing to learn from each other. I know we addicts hate change (I think most everyone does), but with change comes growth and maybe that's what you need right now?

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 1:36 am 
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Well you never really can say what will work out and what won't. That keeps it fresh for most part!


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 10:26 pm 
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Post from the past? TJ its obvious, you just liked that ass!

Aha. I love this forum.

WTBF


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 10:48 pm 
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Yeah she's pretty fucking hot I tellsya. One of those lil Asian beauties with a great body and an awesome smile. And no matter what, she's here. Hellz even if we've broken up she's still always there trying to be supportive. We'd broken up, and the moment she found out my friend died she was there on my doorstep with cupcakes...

But we've been off / on / off / on / off / on.. broken up literally a few times. I'd say it's largely because of my own reservations , my own bipolar nature and a want to be able to talk with my partner about shit that interests me ... like books and politics and philosophy and technology. But at the same time I can't seem to let go?


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 11:30 pm 
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I've been there man. Nothing in common yet you keep running back into the same wall. It's.. in my opinion a comfort thing. You like some things about her but the mental stimulation isn't always there. I had a similar relationship where it was primarily based on sex and could fall apart at a moment's notice. It always would too. We would always find our way back to each other however and I knew we both really cared about each other. It finally ended when I found a female that out classed her in the mental stimulation and out matched her in the physical standpoint as well..( I'm so shallow ).

Either way enjoy it for what it is. Enjoy the good times and if or when it fixes or if and when a new fish grabs hold, enjoy the good times and cut your losses on the previous fish.

This is exceptionally easy to write about, but exceptionally hard to implement. Look at me trying to give relationship advice. Pfft. Anyhow I hope it works out TJ. Been there and done that for sure Haha.

Enjoy your Asian zensation, make the best out of it!


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