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 Post subject: What is wrong with me?
PostPosted: Sat Aug 28, 2010 1:05 pm 
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Guys, I promised to be honest. Here goes. I took an extra sub yesterday. Why? I notice that frustrating situations do something to me. I'm always looking for sedation or Euphoria when something stresses me. No need to go into what upset me. But, I notice that's a factor. I know darn well the extra won't do anything. But it's like I have to swallow or medicate with something. I don't know if I'm making sense. I wish I had someone here to shake me or smack me & say "No, dummy!" How am I ever going to taper if I can't even do 8mg/2x a day? I'M DISGUSTED. IS THERE A MEETING TOMORROW NIGHT??????


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 28, 2010 1:45 pm 
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Queenie - I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. But you're not a dummy - you have a disease. Many if not most of us have taken sub like you have at one point in time or another. Forgive me for not recalling, but do you go to therapy at all? It can be invaluable in learning new coping skills. You may be on suboxone now, but you still have those unhealthy coping skills like taking a pill when things go wrong. Please try not to be so hard on yourself. But do look for other ways to cope. You've already been through taking to many and running out at the end of the month. Often if we just distract ourselves when we have that need to take something then by the time we think about it again the need has passed. Get some Popsicles - when you want to take an extra sub put that in your mouth instead. Then you can't take another sub until you're done with the it and your mouth returns to normal body temperature. Just an idea. Good luck.

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 28, 2010 2:14 pm 
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Hey Queenie,

I think it's pretty common to want or even take more when we have something we need to block out. I went through it for awhile in the begining. I learned for me anyway that not only did they not work but the made me extremly tired I couldn't even stay awake for more than a few hours at a time. I thought I was in w/d's because I was craving. I would talk to my Dr. about it and he just kept uping my dose. It was through these forums that I learned if I lowered my dose down a little that tiredness would subside. As far a the cravings I learned they were called urges and if I distracted myself it was able to pass fairly quickly. As addicts our first instint is to take more and more and more, but its just not the case with this medicine.

Now I have been trying to get down from 8mgs to 6mgs and I keep messing up. I say everyday that I will stay at 6mgs and by 6:00pm I end up taking the extra 2mgs. I do ok sometimes, but I really need to stick with it. My new goal is to start copletly at 6mgs on September 1st, instead of my 8mgs-8-6-6-8-8, which I keep messing up anyway.

I wish you the best, keep trying, you will get it! Hatmaker is right about the therapy and support groups they are such a neccesity! I have learned so much since I started actively participating in my recovery!!! The online meeting is Monday's at 9:00pm, but if there is ever a time you need to talk I can meet you in the chat rooms just set a time! You are doing great!!!


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 28, 2010 4:01 pm 
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Well....there is nothing wrong with you and many of us have done this at one point or another. Finding this site is certainly helpful but you will have to put in the work. I agree with Hatmaker that therapy is a big one. It really helped me to start going and also to start learning mediation. I will suggest two very inexpensive books that were very helpful to me and now my doctor gives them to all new sub patients. One is called "It's Easier Than You Think" by Sylvia Boorstein. The other is called "When Things Fall Apart" by Pema Chodron. Once I learned some basic meditation and held myself to meditating PRIOR to taking an extra sub, it was a lot easier not to take the extra sub. I used to think meditation was for nut bags but if that is the case then I must be a nut bag now too because I think it works very well.

The only other suggestion I have is to keep being honest with yourself and others. Don't give in to that first urge. Take a walk and tell yourself if you still want it that bad when the walk is over then you can have it. Pick up a good book. Clean house. Do something and then if you still have that incredible urge when it is over let yourself have it. But give it a good effort not to. Once you get through it a few times it becomes very empowering to know you don't HAVE to take an extra one.

Hang in there. You will get through this.

Cherie

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 Post subject: Its ok
PostPosted: Sun Aug 29, 2010 10:46 am 
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Your not dumb we all have been there we are addicts thats are first reaction and over time you will find that there is no reason to do it and when ever somthing goes wrong you don't have to use. As for meeting there is meeting all the time just find a directory for your area or go on line to find one. Also thats the reason you need to find a sponcer or just use those numbers that thay give you at the meetings when you fill like you need to use just pick up the phone use the numbers before you. Best of luck and thanks for sharing next time use the phone, computer do somthing before you use.

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 2:41 pm 
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Hey queenie, this is my first time on this board and i must say its a very good board with all support for one another. Sorry just had to get that out of the way. Dude i know exactly what your going through. The thought part about being sober now is reacting different. When i first started taking suboxone i did exactly what you were doing but after a week or two i kinda realized that its not the way to handle it. i know you know that but the best advice i can give to you is to go to therapy or find another way to deal with stress it suks cause you miss the euphoria. But just remember all the hell that came with it. I dont know sorry for rambling just thought id let you know your not alone bro. Itll be ok just keep focused on your goal and keep working on it you will get better.


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 2:52 pm 
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Hi Queenie:

You're not stupid, my dear. Not at all. We've all been there. Breaking old habits and behaviors is not an overnight process. It takes time and practice. The word practice itself implies that mistakes will be made, and techniques and actions will be improved upon over time. Otherwise, why would we need to practice, right?

Over time, you will be able to learn about what triggers these kind of behaviors in yourself and recognize the triggers for what they are BEFORE you act out on them. Right now, it's just too new. So you took an extra sub. OK, you shouldn't have done it, but now it's done. Let's learn from it, and move on.

We're here to support you. It's going to be ok, Queenie.

Here's a hug for ya (((((((((((((((((((((Queenie)))))))))))))))))))))) :D


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 3:05 pm 
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Hey Q first let me say WE ALL HAVE BEEN THREW THIS SO YOUR NOT ALONE!

But what has been said is right an im not gonna change a word these guys said cause its dead on with what i was thinking as well. I can just tell you my story and how i learned to cope with out drugs an hopefully it may help you a lil or give you some ideas.


Well i was on 160 mgs of oxy for 4 years do to a serious knee injury. so when i first started sub i would take more then i was suppost to cause the only way i know how to block out pain at that point in time is takeing a pill. well after doing this for a week i realized i was on such a high dose that extra 8mgs really did nothing for me an i promise you will reach this point sooner or later. anyways since i was haveing such a hard time i got into groups and 1 on 1s. the groups were great cause you can hear how other people cope an maybe that might work for you. but the 1 on 1s is were my true treatment began. Because once they get to know you an so fourth they can help you come up with your own distractiong plan to cope with your issues. groups are great an i still go but the difference i notice was yes people got to know me but theirs only so much a person could know from speaking at a group vs talking with the same person say twice a month. that person will pick up on alot more and are trained to look for certain things to help you come up with your own plan. See it took us 2 months to find a plan that worked but it has worked 99.9% of the time since we came up with it.

See like i said im on sub for pain an recovery so i wasnt looking for that Euphoria so much but a way to block out the pain long enough to were like hat said the idea of takeing another pill just becomes a thought instead of doing so. an trust me i know what you mean about being stressed by lil things i suffer from panic attacks an the lil things could bring one on so im with you an know were you are when this happens.

But this is what worked for me to beat this. i basicly went threw many relaxation ideas with my coun. an this is what worked best for me. Think of the one place that always bring you peace or a smile to your face. now close your eyes and think as hard as you could of that place an think about every lil thing to the wind the sky what ever your place may be down to the last lil thing. an now you are in this place in your mind stay their for a few mintues then open your eyes an go over what you were about to do an what your were felling an write it down then reread it an this will help you realize that takeing that other pill is not the answere but the problem.

like i said this works for me but their are so many great skills you can learn to cope. ALL IM TRYING TO SAY IS YOUR MIND IS VERY POWERFULL AN CAN CHANGE YOUR OUTLOOK IN THE MATTER OF SECONDS TO REALIZE WHAT IS RIGHT AN WHAT IS WRONG!


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