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PostPosted: Mon Mar 22, 2010 9:24 am 
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I need some advice. While we wait for the initial appointment (April 12th!! Are they joking??) I'm faced with the angst of an opiate addict. I'm hearing things that are likely very predictable to someone who's dealt with this, but I have no reply. They're clearly obstacles that need to be overcome, but my friend doesn't see them that way, I'm sure. I need to know what to say.

For example - "Without drugs, life is boring." Well... I can't really argue with that. I'm sure it's probably true. How do I counter this?

"There's just no point to life." Here we go again. At its basic philosophical roots, it's true. As an avowed atheist, I agree with this statement to a degree (leaving aside the truism that the point of life is to live.) We can consciously fill our lives with meaning if we wish, but how do I communicate that to an addict? How can I counter this?

When any of you was at your lowest point, did you listen to anyone? Did anyone get through? What words do you remember, if any, that actually made a difference?


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 22, 2010 1:50 pm 
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Wow, these are some really good questions, and I'm not sure I can answer them specifically for you. I want to respond to one of the last things you said - can anyone get through to an addict? For me, I can answer that with a resounding "NO". No one, I mean not anyone - regardless of how close we were or how much we loved each other - could get through to me in any way. Now on some level it wasn't that I disagreed with them, on the contrary, I knew what they were saying was true. I just felt I had no options and the truth didn't matter.

As for life being boring without drugs, looking back, it was the same chase day after day, week after week. Now that I'm in recovery, I see that it was the old life that was the boring one. Now I'm able to actually DO THINGS.

The whole "what's the point to life" can only be answered by each individual person. Like you, I'm an atheist and I don't believe in any divine reasons for anything or any type of destiny for us. It's just life, living, like you said - that's the point. I'm happier now that when I thought there was some reason or purpose for my life. For me life isn't a pre-drawn map, it's just full of choices and opportunities.

Personally I don't think your friend is thinking clearly right now. On the plus side he has an option ahead of him - that, I think, puts him in a better position than most. And of course I really hope he makes it until his appointment. It's so easy to just remain with the status quo. It was so hard for me to even think about what my life was going to be like without the crutch of drugs to self-medicate. Addicts are numb, and for the most part we never even knew it until we were past it.

I have no idea if this will help at all. I know I didn't really give you good answers to give him, but I hope I gave you a perspective that might give you a little insight into where he is.

As always, good luck - you're such an amazing friend to him - REMEMBER THAT.

Melissa

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-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 22, 2010 3:16 pm 
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Thanks, Melissa.

It does help. I'm not sure I can fully comprehend the disconnect between the knowledge of the truth that you describe, and the despair that must be in place for the truth not to matter. But at least I now know that this disconnect exists. It will inform my future interactions with him.


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