It is currently Wed Aug 23, 2017 9:34 pm



All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Our Sponsors





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 7 posts ] 
Author Message
 Post subject: What's my problem
PostPosted: Thu Nov 24, 2011 7:38 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Wed Nov 16, 2011 8:17 pm
Posts: 7
Okay so I posted part of my story in another section but I have another question so I will refresh u guys.
I'm 23 years old, live in seattle Washington, have a good job great family, incredible girlfriend. Etc.
Life seems pretty damn awesome and in order, except one thing... I'm an addict.
My addiction started for me when I was around 10 years old. I was a very overweight child and
Had/ have low self esteem. I was made fun of threw junior high and high school, and it left me feeling. Not good enough.
After high school I went on a diet and lost 100lbs. I am now in good shape physically and nobody would no that I had ever been overweight.
After I stopped my binge eating, I now realized I switched my addiction for alchohol
I drank untill I was absolutely faded, almost every night. And partied alot. Back then I thought it was just my age.
About 2 years later when I met my girlfriend I was offered a perk 5 mg by a friend of mine.
I loved the pain pills from the moment it hit my tongue. Over the next 2 years I would buy and take pills on a regular basis and quit drinking
Again switching my addiction. It all unravelled when I got laid off from my job on August 30th 2010.
I had all the time in the world to be bored and sit around which resulted in me taking the pills alot more, almost everyday.
I have moderate anxiety as well as OCD and an eating disorder. The entire time I was taking pain pills
I was also taking about 1-2 milligrams of klonopin a day, which was for panick attacks but turned into taking it every night
To get sleepy, or just because. Fast forward to today, I have been on suboxone for about a year, I decided to go on because of trying to quit pain pills
Several times to no Avail. I am no longer on the kpins, I quit taking them about 6 months ago when my doc pulled the plug on my refills after a couple years of everyday use.
I don't dRink anymore just take my sub, have not talked to anyone who uses, stay away from all the addictive behaviors I had when using pain meds.
I guess my question is, what is my problem? Why am I this way? Why can't I just be sober and happy. Why do I have to have a substance to turn to?
I don't get it. I'm young and happy with life for the most part. So I just want to no,
What is my problem.?


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Nov 24, 2011 8:34 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2010 10:39 am
Posts: 4028
Location: Sitting at my computer
You're an addict, that's your problem. I hate to be so blunt, but it's true.

Us addicts, our brains work differently than most of the rest of the population. It's not a moral deficiency we suffer from, it's a disease or a mental disorder. I'm still not entirely sure where I sit with the whole disease concept, but I think our addiction and the way it operates sure could be described as a mental disorder.

Anyway, if you get in with a good addiction counselor, they'll be able to help you understand why you do the things you do. Once you get a grasp on that, then you can start to formulate a plan to combat those tendencies.

Being an addict does NOT mean we have to live a life that is any less than anyone elses. Many, many addicts are quite successful in business or in their occupation. Many addicts are proud stay at home moms. Being an addict doesn't mean you can't be happy and enjoy life and have a kick ass career.

_________________
Be kind to yourself. Our character defects do NOT define who we are!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Nov 24, 2011 10:32 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Wed Nov 16, 2011 8:17 pm
Posts: 7
Your right. I'm just having accepting the fact that I am an addict. Thank you Romeo I'm gonna get in with a councillor and take it from their, I'm just afraid of having a poor quality of life because of this disease, I'm gonna do everything I can to fight this and to get better. I am thinking that because I am an addict I'm a automatic failure and that terrifys me!
I'm scared of what could be,


Top
 Profile  
 
Our Sponsors
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Nov 24, 2011 11:54 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2010 10:39 am
Posts: 4028
Location: Sitting at my computer
Nah, being an addict doesn't condemn us to a life of mediocrity at all. The fact that we're addicts is something we have to learn to live with, it's not something that has to drag us down.

Without really knowing it, I've used some qualities of my addiction to my advantage. Like the OCD I talked to you about earlier. Another thing I tend to notice about addicts is that we seem to be more creative......more "outside the box" kind of thinkers and that can be indispensible in the proper settings. I guess I'm telling you to play to your strengths, even if some of those strengths are born of your addiction.

It always makes me chuckle how when we break an arm or break a leg, what's the first thing we do??? We go to the Doctor, PRONTO!!! Why is it when we have something broken mentally, we're so damn afraid to get help?? I know, I know, it's the stigma attached to mental illnesses, but it's still not right. I worked with my addiction counselor for a long time, now I go to NA meetings on a regular basis and both of those have helped me quite a bit to understand my addiction.

If you're trying to figure out your addict brain on your own, you're doomed because you're using a "sick" brain to try and figure out the sickness. Addiction is wickedly cunning, it's insidious and everyone I know who has had any kind of success at recovery has accepted outside help.

Please don't treat your addiction like it's a death sentence, that's EXACTLY how it wants you to think and you're playing into its hands when you think like that. Your addiction wants you to feel low and shitty so you'll use drugs to feel better, but you don't need narcotics to feel better.

_________________
Be kind to yourself. Our character defects do NOT define who we are!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 12:20 am 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Wed Nov 16, 2011 8:17 pm
Posts: 7
You have alot of great points, I've been in councelling in the past and I'm going to get back in ASAP, you have helped alot, thank you I appreciate that. It's nice to have someone to talk to about it. Happy holidays and I wish you the best with your recovery! Untill next time..


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 12:47 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jul 15, 2010 5:08 am
Posts: 1503
Romeo wrote:
You're an addict, that's your problem. I hate to be so blunt, but it's true.

Us addicts, our brains work differently than most of the rest of the population. It's not a moral deficiency we suffer from, it's a disease or a mental disorder. I'm still not entirely sure where I sit with the whole disease concept, but I think our addiction and the way it operates sure could be described as a mental disorder.


I'm with Romeo on this one.

The way I view it is.. everyone in this world has insecurities, and an emptiness to some degree. It's the human condition. The difference between us addicts and the "other" people, is that when we fill that gap with some kind of addictive behaviour, be it eating, sex, gambling, drugs etc ... that emptiness gets bigger, and bigger. We constantly need more and more to fill that widening hole. The "other" people don't get this snowballing obsession, and can easily walk away. For me, alcohol & drugs is the "end of the line" of addictive behaviours. If I let myself slip, it always ends up there. When I abstain off all chemicals, including Suboxone/methadone, it's interesting how much I want to pursue the other vices, chase women, and adrenaline seek. In the last few months I've been a bad internet addict too apparently, as I've had to "drop out" of many things on this treatment.

There are healthy addictions too. Exercise comes to mind (though that too can become dangerous). Also creative hobbies, like music / art. Fresh out of addiction, we often like "repetitive" tasks that we can obsess over. I've got a thing for wiring up AV systems & problem solving at the moment, and coding software, and posting on this goddamn forum. I also get involved in researching family's and friends purchases, whether they like it or not. ie buying cars, technology. I just go NUTS jumping into the process. It's a way I can spend money, as I did on drugs, without it being my own! :D Others go nuts stitching quilts, or cross stitching, or doing step-work. Whatever you choose, it's gotta have some productive result. That way it's an obsession, rather than a destructive addiction.

These days they say addiction is a "bio/psycho/social" illness. It has biological factors (genetics etc), psychological factors (bad coping mechanisms) and social factors (family, socioeconomics, exposure to drugs etc).


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 3:43 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Fri Mar 12, 2010 12:43 am
Posts: 1019
Location: Buffalo New York
Man if any us knew the answere to that question none of us would be hear one. And two which ever one of us figuerd it out he or she would be one of the richest people in the world.

My point is we will never understand the choices we made but now we have to try and figure out how to beat them.

_________________
Yes these drugs saved our life's. But does that mean we have to give the rest of our life to these drugs?


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 7 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Our Sponsors
Suboxone Forum latest topics RSS feed Subscribe to the entire forum
 

 

 
Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group