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PostPosted: Mon Oct 08, 2012 10:44 am 
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71 days without painkillers
54 days without Subs

They say the hardest part ends after about 2-3 weeks. It's definitely true. I haven't had any symptoms of withdrawal, PAWS, or anything else that would qualify as I NEED SOMETHING at all for the past 6 weeks or so. I've had some physical pain the past 2 weeks, but I'm a bowler so back issues kinda go with the territory. The best part is I don't even consider painkillers for them. Well, except maybe Ibuprofen, but it actually works now!

Tomorrow's my 36th Birthday. This year has been the ultimate success so far and I'm kind of sad to see 35 go. I've made the most awesome change to my life in the past 2.5 months almost, I've moved into a house this year a lot of good things happened to me. I know that I've fought hard to make some things happen and I know that this clear way of thinking without opiates and subs has really made the difference in guiding me along.

You need not be dependent on anything at all if you can learn to understand that the pain and withdrawal of drugs eventually ends if you give it time and you actually give it a chance. Jumping, tapering, cold turkey, etc. It works when you make it work and you don't give in to the easy way out. Life has so much to offer, but you don't see it when you are high. You let it beat you down, you let it dictate when your next dose is. One thing I have found since I quit is that it's up to YOU, not the drugs. The drugs only influence bad decisions which lead to taking more drugs which leads to more bad decisions. It's a vicious cycle. I know I was scared to quit drugs because of the withdrawals, but once I knew that it was going to happen either way, I kind of accepted it and dealt with it. It's not easy, and I don't want to make it out like it is easy. But it is EASIER once you get through those initial mental/physical cravings. Those cravings absofuckinglutely go away.

And this includes Subs. I'm glad for everyone if it is working to keep you away from opiates. I'm very proud of everyone on here who has turned to Sub to get out of the morass of opiate addiction. But know this - the Sub can be just as bad if you let it be that way. YOU CAN get off of them and really start to feel right. I've done it, I'm not ever going back.

We're all different. We've all chosen a path. I loved percs and vikes more than a lot of things in life. But now I see what it's like on the other side of it, and everything is so much better, so much easier to deal with. I can handle things, I don't get angry anymore, I smile a lot. I've seen my family more and even they say something has changed about me. They don't know, of course, because they wouldn't understand since they barely ever smoked cigarettes in their lives.

You all helped me get through too. Don't underestimate the power of support even if it is faceless. We can get through it!

CHARLIE

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When you're young, you get all worked up caring about what other people think of you. That's the great thing about getting older - you realize, FUCK IT! It's what you think of yourself.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 08, 2012 2:10 pm 
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That is awesome to hear that you have no PAWS. How long had you been on opiates? I know you said something like being high the last 10 years and I wondered if that was including your cocaine time or if you meant 10 years of solid opiate use.

Lately I've been so scared that I am going to be so starved of dopamine or endorphins that I will go crazy. What do you do to keep yourself happy? I know you bowl and have a daughter and wife so I am sure that is a big part in keeping you positive.

Sorry to hear about your pain and that is great to hear that you are still sober. It appears that you have totally re-trained your brain out of the painkiller habit loop and don't even think about them. I have been so hopeless lately thinking that it will take years to get out of the cravings but you said its over in 2-3 weeks and that is great to know.

I can't wait until I can be so happy that I followed your advice to just be patient to get through the initial mental/physical cravings and "absofuckinglutely" get rid of them lol. Your posts always give me lots of hope.

Happy early birthday


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 08, 2012 2:57 pm 
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8+ years @ 80-160mg/day

There's really nothing specific you do to keep yourself happy, per se, because your brain automatically reverses itself into happiness on its own. I've posted about a 'honeymoon' period of about 6 weeks or so where focusing on being clean and getting through another day was my happiness. Then, that kind of got old after a while but like I said, your brain heals itself in a way where you don't really look for drugs anymore to fill that empty space. The empty space is filled by a sense of accomplishment.

Plus, because drugs don't become the focus, things you don't normally focus on as much (work, school, housework, parenthood) become much more prevalent.

It's hard to describe really unless you live through it and do it. It's that week-2week period that is hardest to get through but once you do - man, life gets so much clearer and manageable. So much so that when you get there, you know you don't want to ever go back.

But we're all different and have different brains. I think strength is the utmost necessity. It's so easy and weak to let substances win.

You don't have to let it win, however.

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When you're young, you get all worked up caring about what other people think of you. That's the great thing about getting older - you realize, FUCK IT! It's what you think of yourself.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 08, 2012 9:46 pm 
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Awesome, positive post about getting off & staying off all opiates! CONGRATS!

I am at 96 days off Subs, and feel super! I also have no PAWS, depression, etc.

You are soooo right about just getting through those first 2-3 weeks. They suck, but once you're through, you never have to experience those crappy feelings again. Great advice to people struggling to jump off Subs. You can get through it.

Life is so much brighter without drugs. You are also spot on about doing things completely sober, ie. work, housework, parenting, etc. Life takes on a whole new meaning. You realize what a complete waste of your time & life while spent on Subs. It's all a fog. Don't get me wrong, Sub is the ONLY way I was able to get off opiates. It saved my life, I believe. I just wish doctors were more educated about its long term effects. And also how hard it is to get off of after several years usage.

Alas, we did it, and are continuing to do it. I will also never go back! It's great to hear your success story. It will hopefully help many people to just make the jump. Life is so much better on the other side! :)


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 08, 2012 10:50 pm 
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Thanks Libre. And mucho congratulations to you too for winning the war.

I agree. Sub saved me too. Knowing that it would help stave off the opiate withdrawal was a big factor in me going for it. And I don't want to downplay or disregard the effects of it curing opiatism (is that a word? haha). But I think you are right, there should be mention of or more research on long term effects. It is only around 10 years old though so I guess that is impossible?

A lot of addiction specialists I've heard or read about though swear by a 2-3 week plan to use Subs so you don't get addicted to them. They aren't actual doctors though so it makes me wonder about the motives of the doctors. I mean it makes sense. You substitute one for the other and it can be successful in keeping people off of their opiate of choice. I'm sure they see it as successful in that regard.

It's really been a good thing so far. Really has. Those 2-3 weeks were painful but I dealt with it. I knew it was going to happen so I just rode it out. I admit I tried to find more Sub about 6-7 days in, but I couldn't and I'm glad I couldn't. I kept saying to myself the worst was over and then it was all pretty easy physically. Once you beat the mental demon, it's over. And that mental demon resurfaces every now and then.

I had a dream about percs last week. In the dream, I ate 3 of them all at once and they did nothing. I thought maybe it was God's way of telling me that it was over. Thankfully, I'm keeping that memory as a reminder of what percs actually did for me for 8+ years.

Nothing.

Keep on being ready to quit y'all. YOU CAN MAKE THE CHANGE!

Charlie

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When you're young, you get all worked up caring about what other people think of you. That's the great thing about getting older - you realize, FUCK IT! It's what you think of yourself.


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