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 Post subject: Wanted: Your Words
PostPosted: Sat Mar 13, 2010 10:49 am 
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I've started this topic solely to collect the wisdom of people who've "been there" for my friend to read. I will not post here. If you've read my intro thread;

My Intro Thread

...then I'd very much appreciate anyone who's been through this posting a brief intro, like "Hi, I'm (X) and I did (Y) for (Z) years...", followed by what you'd say to my friend if you were face to face with him (trying not to get overly preachy, which I suspect would turn him off.) Once this thread dies down a little, I'll print it off and have him read it. I have no clue in the world if it will make a damned bit of difference, but it seems like a good idea to me. But then, hell - what do I know? I'm sober...

P.S. (If you want to address him personally, you can call him "Ogre.")


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 13, 2010 3:13 pm 
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I'd just tell your friend that you care about him/her and let them know there are options that work. You might also ask if he/she is tired of always having to find a way to get money for more dope. You might try and explain that there really are alot of people willing to help him/her. I'd even think about mentioning the this forum to them just so they can get chance to talk to others who have been through the exact same thing as them. I could never talk to anyone who hadn't been through what I'd been through because people who haven't been where we've been really just don't have a clue. You might even think about showing him/her the options of treatment and let him/her know that Suboxone and or Methadone are much better than not doing anything at least they'd have a chance at staying alive. People who keep using unfortunately will usually end up dead. It's sad but for those who continue using it's just a matter of time.

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"If you're going through hell, ....keep going!"
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 15, 2010 9:23 am 
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Hi Xeno,
Please pass this along to your friend......

My addiction to pain pills ( Opiate Addiction ) was more like a love affair with "Oxycodone" and it started when I
had back surgery many years ago. I was pain free for a few years and then all of a sudden the pain was back with vengeance. I started with a script for regular 5/325 percocet and worked my way up to the fentanyl Patch (2X 100 mcgs.).. then to 60mg. oxcy's twice a day and 5 mgs. oxcodone for "break thru" pain! In the end the scripts I was getting from my Dr. would last me less than a week. Then it was to the street to get what I needed to get me thru the rest of the month. Over & over again I did this for well over a year. At the end of my using my intake was about 300 to 350 mgs. of oxcodone a day. I was dying a slow death..... Dying physically, emotionally and Financially.... It was a very, very low spot in my life for sure. Tried many times to cut down / Quit on my own... But No luck! I finally came clean with my Dr. (of 15+ years) and told him I needed to get off the oxcy's because they were killing me... And I meant it! He set up an appointment with a Suboxone Dr. right in his office for the next day. I met with the subox Dr. and I told him the absolute truth!! He told me stop using immediately and come back tomorrow in withdrawls. I did as told, it was a terrible night and next morning untill we started the " Suboxone "treatment. About an hour & a half after the first dose ( 2 mgs. )I started to feel like I might be able to salvage my life!!!! I am 3 months clean ( and counting). I take 16mgs. Suboxone a day and feel like a new person. I have made up my mind not to go back to that sorry existence. So with some counseling and the medication I plan to stay clean.. I know it is a long road back but, I am finally on the right road. Well thanks for listening (reading) my story it helps to know we are not alone.... Best of luck to all!!!!
God Bless
TW

I wrote this post last May and 10 months later I am happy to say I am still on that road to Recovery. There has been some challenges along they way No doubt But, I continue my counseling and my Rx of 16 mgs. a day and that has been keeping me going so far.... Life still cames at me hard and fast sometimes but, I know if I keep up my end of the work then the rest will take care of itself.... I hope my story will help you in some small way??? Please give yourself a chance at life and try to get into Recovery!!! Take care & Good Luck.....

God Bless
TW


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 15, 2010 10:25 am 
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I can type a novel in this post, but I will be very brief, and to the point.... Xeno, again...you are a good dude! Your friend is lucky to have you as a friend, and such a good one at that.... To the friend: we know what it feels like to be where you are at, many if not most of us have been there ourselves!

A BRIEF intro/summary of my active addiction:

Used drugs since 14, starting with pot/alcohol

First opiate at 16.

During high school, I, just like many of my friends, were EXPERIMENTING with all types of chemicals. Never any addiction problems.

End of high school, I found out I had a herniated disk in lower back.

(Still 'partying'!)

End high school/beginning of college started prescribed opiate usage.

Doses and meds started low and weak.

I had epidural injections (for back pain), oral and injected sterioids, several narcotic pain meds.

THEN came Oxycontin. First dosage with that was 1-20mg oxycontin in the AM, 1-20mg oxycontin in the PM, and 3-5mg percs for breakthru

I went through hydromorphone (dilly's), hydrocodone (vics), oxycodone (percs/oxy), morphine(mscontin, kadian, avinza...), fentanyl (100mcg), and others.

Towards the end of my active addiction (few years ago - about almost 9 months ago) I was going through my scripts (as others have) in days, or a week. I was up WAY past the original prescribed amount of 55mg per day (it might have been 60mg total, but anyways at the end I was being scripted much more than that and the scripts would last only days/or a week) and into the several hundred milligrams of oxy. Of course, at some point my neurologist did not want to keep upping/changing the dose (hmmmm, wonder why) and I ended up going to the street to supplement my legal scripts. So, again in the half gram + area of oxy I was totally blowing through money ridiculously quick! I ended up finding dope (potent, cheap compared to oxy). I was using dope and taking my scripts plus other pills off the street. What first started as cheaper ended up costing me nearly everything!!


Almost 9 months ago I was inducted onto suboxone. I have not used any other opiate/opioid since then. My pain is controled and I am able to 'manage' it. I am NOT chasing a tolerance that is impossible to catch anymore! I just take my suboxone, then live my life. I of course have a support system in place which is KEY to recovery! Taking suboxone is NOT going to be the whole answer, you need to supplement it with support. Some people have different ways and methods of support but, we all need some sort of support! Your friend Xeno seems to have your best intrest in mind and you should be greatful for that! Best of luck to you!!


Xeno, good luck man! Keep up the good work and know that we are all here for you and your friend! Take Care!

_________________
"The past is finished. There is nothing to be gained by going over it. Whatever it gave us in the experiences it brought us was something we had to know."----Rebecca Beard

"Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it." ---Salvador Dali


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 15, 2010 11:31 am 
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Hi ogre,

I'm 44 years old and am currently in medication-assisted recovery. I started taking Suboxone in December 2008. It would be fair to say it saved my life. And my marriage and probably my sanity.

Although I started taking different opiates/pain meds for medical reasons, I liked them right away and it didn't take long until I was abusing them and completely addicted. I always took too many and every month like clock work I went into withdrawals until my next doctor appointment. This went on for about 2 years - 2 years that I barely remember.

Although I'm currently not working, I'm a professional person and could probably be considered middle class. Many of us - myself included - have kicked ourselves in the ass for allowing this situation to occur. But I can't stress enough just how wrong that kind of thinking is!!! Being an addict is NOT a matter of self-control or willpower. And it's nothing to be ashamed of, no matter how much shame we feel.

Addiction happens to people of all races, gender, religion, socioeconomic backgrounds, etc. It's a disease and Suboxone is a treatment. It's a tool we use to help in our recovery. It affords us the opportunity to heal our relationships and other aspects of our life. It's a treatment just like insulin is to a diabetic. Suboxone will help you feel "normal" again.

I wish you well on your road to recovery. And remember, you are not alone.

_________________
-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 15, 2010 7:59 pm 
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Hi Ogre,

Put simply... people will change when it becomes harder to stay the same. Your friend is doing "something" whether staying in active addiction, or working toward recovery. Which "thing" he works toward will depend on where his motivation stems from. Which is harder? When he hits the point of feeling physically, mentally, financially, spiritually crushed and drained, he might find it easier to try and change. All of our stories are different, all of our stories are the same. NOBODY starts out with the goal of being a drug addict. NOBODY.

For me since you wanted stats:

Graduate degree, acting therapist with my own business as a family therapist
Married 9 years, 2 gorgeous kids, big house and 2 cars

Took my first painkiller as a result of a terrible ear infection that landed me in the Er when I was 23. Never touched an opiate before and had no idea that what he wrote me was addictive, if I had known, never would have taken it... over the years, had shoulder surgery, foot surgery and using the pills for pain turned into using the leftovers to party. active addiction did not kick in until a few years ago and my habit never got worse than about 80 mg of oxycodone a day, never crushed, snorted, IV or oxycontin but Ill be damned if it didnt get a hold of me! nobody knew outside of my husband, and to this day, nobody knows about my treatment other than my husband. where you are on the spectrum of addiction has alot to do with where you are when you acknowledge you have a problem and seek help.

Hope this helps!

MW


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 15, 2010 10:09 pm 
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Hi Ogre,

First off....you have an AMAZING friend here.

I have always had somewhat of a drug problem off and on in my life. I first used pot at about 12 or 13, the LSD, the mushrooms, then meth, crack, alcohol, etc. Always off and on though or in binges. I was always able to stop (with struggle) when it interfered too much. Then because of a chronic pain condition, I was given vicodin. For surgery, Percocet. Because of doctor paranoia, my pain was always undermedicated and I was afraid to ask for more. So I took oxycontin from a friend and was told to chew it. Goodbye! All over from then on. Was addicted for 2+ years and ended at about seven 40mg oxycontin's per day. I was spending an average of $3000 per month on them. I had my own business and an amazing partner, awesome house and was shitting everything down the toilet almost losing all of it. At the point where I was stealing my partners pain pills (the ones prescribed for the vasectomy reversal he was doing for me to begin with and that he would NEED) and thinking "heroin is cheaper...I wonder if I can get that?", I decided something had to be done.

I was on suboxone for 2 1/2 years and did extremely well. Immediately I was able to make sound choices for the first time in a long time. I CHOSE to close my business due to stress but didn't lose it which I would have had I kept going. I was able to be honest for the first time in a long time. I told my husband what was going on and he STILL married me. I got a new job that is great and worked my way up. The owner just loves me. I became close again with my family. I calmed down for the first time in a long time. Outside the first month of suboxone treatment, it was EASY. No depression. No anxiety. No desire to use drugs. The first month was only hard because it was hard to accept that I was actually ok. In my head I would think...I need more of the suboxone or I will have withdrawal...then I would take too much leaving me short for the month. What it taught me was that I wasn't going to have withdrawal. I used to get withdrawal monthly, if not weekly from the oxycontin. I couldn't make plans or do anything because I never knew if I would be high or in withdrawal. I couldn't be consistent at ALL. But it suddendly changed with suboxone and really quickly. It was amazing to say the least. I became FREE. I had Free Will again for the first time in a very long time. I felt alive. I felt normal. I felt happy. I had energy. Life was no longer daunting. I was ready to kill myself when I learned about suboxone. I literally had my husband remove the gun from the house because I fantasized and obsessed about putting it to my head every minute of the day. That all disappeared with suboxone.

I went off the suboxone about 3 months ago and went back on it today. But this was a long decision, not a desperate one like when you are getting off oxy or heroin. I chose to for a variety of reasons. The point I am trying to make but that probably is still inconceivable from where you are at right now (not trying to be condescending but I KNOW where you are at) is that I still have free choice I didn't have when I was actively taking opiates. So today, I don't feel like I have to take suboxone. I choose to take it to save my life and help with my pain. 3 years ago, if I didn't take suboxone I would have killed myself intentionally with a gun or unintentionally with an overdose.

You can do this. Let your friend help you. Let your friend guide you. Your way hasn't been working and probably isn't working. Let someone else take the wheel for a minute and give yourself a break. You deserve it.

Take care - seriously!

Cherie


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 15, 2010 10:16 pm 
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Hello Ogre

Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired? I am 44 yr old Retail Executive.......I broke my arm in high school and was given 5mg Vicodin for pain. I still remember the warm glow and the euphouric feeling. Pretty soon I was in love with emergency rooms and urgent cares. I would travel all over the world and would always end up in an ER with back pain, headaches, broken ribs, fingers........mostly self inflicted (Can't believe I would actually plan out hurting myself). Before a trip on a Monday I would spend all weekend bashing my knee against a stud in the wall in the garage. Of course I would have to drink myself into oblivion to help with the pain.......so I would be good a swollen. I would plan my hotel stay to be close to an ER. Get a script.......and chew them all in the next few days of my business trip. As a now full blown alcoholic and addict I had a boss that did not hold me very accountable and that is not good for one of US. I would sometimes never leave my hotel room because I had the flu.......(right) The medical bills caused great stress in my marriage as my wife would be livid when one would show up in the mail. I think I counted 14 times I went to an emergency room for treatment of a broken arm in a one year period.....How I didn't go to jail is truly a miracle. So now I had to turn to the street and I was buying 20 Lortab 10mg tablets a day for $200. By this time I had quit drinking in 2007 and my wife thought I finally was getting my act together. Since I was buying on the street my wife thought I had stopped...because no more medical bills. She finally found the pills one day. The betrayl was too much. We had two beautiful children, a new home,2 new cars and just like that ............I got fired......divorced......found my self living in a friends garage but I couldn't stop taking the pills......soon all my money was gone...I cashed in my 401K(spent all that on pills) and had to take a job 500 miles away. It was there that I finally decided enough is enough and I found Suboxone. I have been on this program for 10 months now and recently switched to subutex. My job is great and I am being transferred back home. I get to be a father again......I don't know if I will ever get my wife back...but I can be there now as a friend and a parent. I never want to go back to that life. Today I can drive by an ER or an Urgent Care and have no desire to pull in. This program has given me my life back. It can for you too.......I hope you take a leap of faith.....I considered suicide..I am so glad I didn't. I wish you the best in whatever you choose but take it from someone who thought this is how my life was going to end........addicted to opiates. I have a terrible deadly disease and with support, counseling, 12 step program and subutex I am alive.......

Good Luck


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