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PostPosted: Thu Apr 04, 2013 7:14 pm 
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I've been on subs for a few months following a couple years of fooling around with scrip pain meds. I initially didn't "get" the drug. I thought it was just something to help take the edge of opioid WD, but I've since realized it's SO much more. I'd actually like to stay on the drug a lot longer while I clean up the mess I've made of my life.

But, I kinda want to get off of it.

When I was using opioids one day I had a realization. Being numb to life was no way to experience life. Pain (physical, emotional) is the body/mind's way of telling you something is wrong. How would I know whether or not I had some horrific condition when I'm so numb to pain that I can't perceive it? Fibromialgia? Respiratory infection? Arthritis? Allergies? Stress fracture.... Cancer

I could have something really bad, but so high out of my mind, I wouldn't know. Moreover, my physician might dismiss my symptoms as related to drug use or withdrawal. Like with some many other things, in the eyes of many, addiction damage the credibility of the user.

Like I said, I switched to subs and the concern that I'm experiencing illness beyond addiction persisted. Suboxone has proven to be a very effective form of relief for pain, in particular my arthritis (a real, diagnosed condition). It's also eliminated my cravings for any type of drug or alcohol. Still, I feel I have to be totally clean in order to accurately assess what, if anything, is wrong with my body. Am I sick, or am I simply experiencing side effetcs or withdrawal (too low a dose of subs)?

So I asked my subs doc and he told me "we have no way to know".

He left it at that. I felt this reason to get off subs so we could eliminate that from diagnosis.

So, I've been tapering off the subs and, now well below the ceiling, and most the time I feel like crap. I've been stuck at 1mg for over a month, and I can't decide which way to go due to this nagging fear that the subs is concealing something terrible.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 04, 2013 8:00 pm 
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Hmm.. no one can tell you which way to go. You need to weigh your pros and cons. I understand the reasons for wanting off, also understand the reasons for wanting to stay on. You're already down to 1mg? That's great!

Sounds like you have a bit of anxiety.. the constant fear of some underlying issue? I've dealt with that too, in the past.. when I was on suboxone actually.

Good luck with your decision, whatever you choose!


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 06, 2013 7:32 pm 
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melneri your story sounds exactly like mine, a few years on presc meds and a few months on subs. i am now 42 days clean today and i feel pretty good


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