It is currently Sun Aug 20, 2017 11:51 am



All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Our Sponsors





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 21 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next
Author Message
PostPosted: Mon Mar 22, 2010 3:11 pm 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Wed Mar 10, 2010 3:20 pm
Posts: 50
And another thing…

My friend was required to call the Doc's office, which is a good thing. They set him up with an appointment on April 12th. Incredulous, he asked "What am I supposed to do till then?" The answer was "just keep doing what you've been doing."

Upon hearing this, I was enraged. The first thought in my head was to grab him, storm the place, and explain in very graphic terms exactly what it is they told him to do, after which I'd not so subtly suggest they take him sooner.

Then, I pulled back a little. In order to be persuasive, I'd have to go into the ugly details. Would this screw the pooch? Would they hear what he's going through and change their tune, demanding inpatient detox or something?


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Mar 22, 2010 3:31 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:55 pm
Posts: 4933
Location: Leesburg, FL
I don't think storming the castle is the answer. It might color the way they treat him for a long time.
Not that I don't understand the rage - because I do. Let's just hope s/he's a great doctor who's really busy and all of her/his patients are in emergent situations. But if not, you can always find another doc for him later on. Hopefully their inability to get him in quickly isn't indicative of some kind of general apathy.

It's a "wait and see" situation, which I'm very sure is driving the both of you nuts.

I don't recall if you said what kind of doctor he'll be seeing. Is it a shrink, family doc...? I'm just curious.

Melis

_________________
-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Mar 22, 2010 3:39 pm 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Wed Mar 10, 2010 3:20 pm
Posts: 50
It's not merely driving us nuts. Every day he has to go out and try to score, with little to no money. When he finally has money again, it'll be gone again almost immediately. Not to mention the unpredictability of purity/potency of street drugs, and the constant possibility of arrest. They'll be losing a patient just as surely if he winds up dead or in jail.

Anyway, I'm sure you know all this.

The Doc is one that works in the same complex as his family doctor. I got her name off the list at naabt, and when I called I was told there were no openings. When his mom called to ask if she'd need a referral to the doc I did find, the family doc evidently intervened to get him in with his colleague. This is good because it's local and they already have all his records, so I guess it's worth waiting for.

I just wish the street supply of suboxone was more reliable. At this point, *I'd* buy it for him.


Top
 Profile  
 
Our Sponsors
 Post subject: In Time....
PostPosted: Mon Mar 22, 2010 3:56 pm 
Offline
Super-Duper Poster
Super-Duper Poster
User avatar

Joined: Tue May 12, 2009 10:02 am
Posts: 308
Location: Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
Hi Xeno,
I know it sucks when you can see the light at the end of the tunnel and someone or something throws you OFF the track!!! BUT, Hang in there it is worth the wait to do this thing right.... I'm sure your friend has been through this waiting game before while waiting to score.... Trust me I am NOT making light of this situation I know the frustration you both are going thru But like I said IT IS WORTH IT..... It is worth the wait because with any luck this time next month you will have a plan in place to get your friend on the road to Recovery and the right medication to help him get there... :D . I know it is easier said then done BUT keep your eye on the prize ( A Recovery Program ) and you will get thru this tough time.. Best of luck to you both... Please keep us posted.....

God Bless
TW


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Mar 22, 2010 5:06 pm 
It's a shame they can't get your friend in sooner. Really....when you get an addict to a point where they're willing to go in and get help....you should be able to just take them in and get help immediately. Oh, in a perfect world.....!
In the real world, it doesn't work that way. Unless, as was mentioned, you want to take said friend to an ER or rehab facility and get him/her into detox that way. I suppose that's always a possibility.
The thing is, though, that one of the beautiful things about treatment with buprenorphine is the fact that it is all outpatient. We can go in, be assessed and be placed on the medication and be sent on our way, prescription in hand, all in a matter of a couple of hours. The worst part of the deal is waiting for the appointment, going without our drug of choice long enough to be in a bit of withdrawal, and of course, coming up with the money for the appointment and the Rx! When you think about it (at least when I think about it) it's pretty easy and painless when compared to our other alternatives. Those alternatives being staying in active addiction or going the abstinence route (oftentimes via an expensive trip to rehab.)
So sure, I hate it that your friend has to wait a few weeks for the appointment. And the receptionist's response was rather flippant regarding "keep on doing what you've been doing.." But that pretty much is the reality. Before we got on bupe, somehow we managed to keep doing what we were doing for pretty long periods of time.
I pray your friend is as lucky as those of us here on the forum who are alive to tell. Keep doing what you've been doing also.....keeping a close eye on your friend to ensure he/she makes it to that appointment with the Subox doc! Don't forget to take care of yourself as well.


Top
  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Mar 23, 2010 12:12 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2010 10:03 pm
Posts: 991
Given how hard it was already to get an appointment and given his financial and insurance issues, I would be careful. But one way you may want to approach it is this...

Call back tomorrow on his behalf and and let them know you were extremely grateful the doc was willing to take him on. He has an appointment in April, but your friend is really hanging on by a thread. I would ask if there was any kind of a waiting list you could put him on and that even on short notice you will get him in there because you are afraid if he keeps doing what he has been doing for even a few weeks till the appointment that he may die. Thank them again and let them know you totally understand if this isn't possible but under the circumstance you thought you would ask.

MOST people love to help people when they feel like they are going out of their way and being good people. You can try to get her into a position where she WANTS to help you instead of where it is just a job to her. You can even tell her you are willilng to call in twice per day (morning/evening) to see if there are cancellations. Even if she says no, thank her profusely for "trying" and offer your number in case anything changes.

Kiss her butt :-) You can also try sending flowers in advance to the office for their kindness and help in getting your friend in and how important it is to you.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Mar 23, 2010 12:23 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Fri Mar 12, 2010 12:43 am
Posts: 1019
Location: Buffalo New York
Man i would be upset too. I wish sub docs were easy to get in to see for first timers. its like a drug addict is finally saying i need help please help me and they say back oh we cant see u till the 12th so just keep harming your body with drugs. how do you say that to a drug addict i really hope the doctor didnt say that and it was a recep. cause if the dr did i would look for a better one. I remember waiting to see my sub dr i had to wait for 2 months i tryed to call my dr to see if he could write me a script to hold me over and of course thats not gonna happen but when your in withdrawl youll try anything. they told me go to the er and in pat detox. i said no way and i spent a few thousand more on oxy to hold me over. but just keep a posisitve out look for your buddy so he is ready for help on the 12th!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Mar 23, 2010 12:50 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member

Joined: Tue Nov 24, 2009 7:36 pm
Posts: 879
Location: Wisconsin
As I was reading, I was planning to provide a response of my own - right up until I read Jack Crack's response to you. I cannot agree more with what she wrote. She laid it out just about word for word as I would have. I hate this phase but the squeaky wheel really does get the grease. I would call and talk with them just like Jack suggests. Offer to call twice a day, be as calm and friendly as you can. See if you can rope the person on the other end of the phone into helping and becoming part of your little team. Tell them that you'll even take something on a last minute basis. Do whatever you can. Just follow what Jack says and you may be able to get him in sooner.

I also have to say this, there is absolutely no doubt in my mind how much getting back on Suboxone has helped you Jack. You are posting like a completely different person in the past week or two. Your thoughts, the way you are writing, all of it... You clearly seem to be doing much better on Sub than you previously were while off of it. In fact, I'll just be honest with you, I didn't care very much for many of the things that you said. You were all over the map. One day you were red the next day you were green (if that makes sense). I even remember some other posters calling you out on some very obvious flip flops that you had made. But now, you really are like a new person. At least it certainly seems that way from the little bit that I can tell on a forum like this. I was going to send you a PM but thought that perhaps others may have noticed the difference as well and might benefit from reading my thoughts. (Sorry to borrow your thread here Xeno) but if Jack is any indication, and if others are seeing what I am seeing, it is a wonderful example of how well Suboxone can work. Have others noticed the difference Jack? Have you? You really do seem like a new person on Suboxone. The difference is very evident - at least it is to me. I certainly hope you take all of this as a compliment - as that is how it is intended.

Back to you Xeno, keep at it with the doctors office using "pleasant persistence" and you may get your friend seen much sooner than later. Good luck!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Mar 23, 2010 8:01 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2010 10:03 pm
Posts: 991
Donh,

Although I am not offended by what you are saying, I don't necessarily agree that this is proof of how well suboxone works and how it changes people. I certainly don't think that you can judge anyone's true character when they are in the middle of a crisis. One thing to keep in mind when you are listening or talking to someone who is in the middle of a stressful situation is if you are listening and you find yourself feeling helpless, or confused, or stuck in how to respond, or that there is no good answer for them, or whatever, chances are THIS is EXACTLY how the other person is feeling.

As opposed to calling people out on it or getting frustrated back, the best response is to first acknowledge how YOU are feeling in the situation, truly empathize with your own feelings of helplessness or frustration or whatever it is this person is making you feel, and then mirror that back to the person and express empathy for them.

Expression of empathy is first and foremost the best thing you can do for anyone in any difficult situation.

I have to point out that what you probably didn't like about my posts is that they made YOU feel confused and the inconsistency made YOU frustrated. Probably because I was confused and frustrated. So I don't think there was anything wrong with me or my posts or the way I was feeling because jumping off sub unexpectedly at 12mg is confusing and frustrating.

Another thing I think many people fail to acknowledge in life is that TWO things can be TRUE at the same time. People don't have to pick one emotion over another. They don't have to EITHER feel content OR feel discontent with something. They can feel content with their choice to get off suboxone AND feel discontent that the process is difficult or frustrating. So many people want to force another to feel one way or the other because it is confusing for THEM to experience the other person with these seemingly conflicting emotions or thought processes.

I also think that these types of inconsistencies in general bother men more than they do women (speaking in VERY general terms here) because in our (I am talking American here) society men are brought up to "fix" things. When someone is having a problem their need is often to fix it. How can you fix a problem when you can't properly define what the "problem" is because the person can't really define it for you when there is more than one problem. So men will want to simplify the problem and break it down so it can be "fixed". When men don't feel they can "fix" it, they can get frustrated and that is what leads them to decide the "person" is the problem or the person's "feelings and emotions" are wrong. They tend to focus on there being something "wrong" with the person and will gravitate toward pointing out those wrongs in attempt to "fix" that instead. There isn't anything "wrong" with the person or the person's inconsistencies and likely the only person who can resolve their "problem" is them anyways. So again, the best thing that can be done for them is to empathize with their situation and emotions instead of telling them the emotions are wrong or the emotions need to be fixed. If you are the type of person who feels the need to give correct or good advice and view this as the best means of fixing the problem someone is having or if this is the way you know to help others, then it makes sense that conflict in feelings and emotions would be a barrier in you meeting your needs.

The fact that I "fixed" this seems to make you feel much more comfortable and it tells me a lot more about you than it does for how well I am doing or how well I feel or how much suboxone "changed" me. The only change that has occurred in me is that I no longer feel like I am in crisis and I no longer feel confused as to what I should do or what needed to be done. Although I decided to go back on suboxone weeks before I was actually able to do so and that decision resolved most of my confusion surrounding the decision I needed to make, it took actually making the decision and taking the pills to truly resolve the conflicts in emotion I was feeling. But my "problem" began resolving far before taking the pills because people empathized with where I was at and allowed me to feel those feelings and work them out on my own. They were there to bear witness to my confusions and frustrations which is all I really needed at the time. That WAS the solution to my "problem".

I hope YOU aren't offended by what I am saying because it isn't intended that way either.

Now back to the post as it was originally intended.

Cherie


Top
 Profile  
 
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Mar 23, 2010 9:06 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jun 08, 2009 4:04 pm
Posts: 391
Wow you guys made up..........Did you? Anyways................

I think you have gotten some good advice. I would call and call and be as nice as possible. Especially to offer him to come in if there are any cancelations. One other thing......... he may want to let his family doctor who helped get them together to see if he would be willing to help with any comfort meds for your friend if he has to cut down due to finances. I remember my first trip to rehab for alcholism. I spoke to the person on the phone for 2 hours and they said ok your insurance is done , you past all the test- You are an alcoholic and we have an opening for you in 12 days.........12 days. Are you kidding me I am an alcoholic....I am special ....unique...different ....worse than everyone else. I was livid..........but I chose instead to call them every day for 4 days in a row and on the 4th day she said I was just getting ready to call you - We have a bed....One last thing that has not been suggested and I can help you with this one is PRAY.....I will pray your friend gets in sooner. Good Luck....


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Mar 24, 2010 2:37 pm 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Wed Mar 10, 2010 3:20 pm
Posts: 50
Hmm. I talked to him today, and found out that we're also waiting for some sort of Medicaid paperwork to go through, so the point is moot. He apparently wasn't aware of it either. He discussed it with his mom and found this out.

Sigh.

The good news is, now that he can see the light at the end of the tunnel, he's getting really psyched about it. The other day he told me he looked forward to a time when he could find pleasure in something as simple as eating a Ho-Ho. I had to laugh. Today he reiterated that he has all kinds of things he wants to do once he no longer has to think about drugs 24/7. It sounds to me as if his motivation is really building.

Of course, he scored, so he's not been withdrawing for a couple of days. I'm sure he'll get all dejected once that sets in again. Still, if he's this optimistic and motivated to quit when he's 'using but not exactly high,' I can only imagine how clear his head will be once he's being treated. It kinda makes the waiting easier.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Mar 24, 2010 5:41 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:55 pm
Posts: 4933
Location: Leesburg, FL
Xeno that does sound encouraging. The fact that he can envision how his life can be post active-addiction I think is a positive sign that he'll make it.

You've really been exceptional in your support of your friend. Talk about good karma! That's what a real friend is and you should be proud of yourself. Ok, enough mushy talk. :oops:

Keep us posted on how he's doing.

Melissa

_________________
-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 9:41 am 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Wed Mar 10, 2010 3:20 pm
Posts: 50
Thanks, Melissa. Little bits of encouragement like this are helping me get through it. Believe me, I've had my moments where I just want to say screw it, and walk away shaking my head, wondering why I'm involved. At the end of the day, though, I always come back to a midnight phone call desperately asking for help, and my vow to stand and fight right alongside him. I seldom give my word to anyone about anything precisely because it's deeply against my nature to go back on that word. I usually hold back a little till I can be sure I can deliver, you know? Well, I didn't this time. I just dove in because I didn't see anyone else stepping up. It still scares me a little.

Anyway, I'm rambling now. I'm just really grateful to absolutely everyone here. You've all helped me make decisions and focus. I'll never be able to thank you guys enough.


Top
 Profile  
 
   
 Post subject: wow
PostPosted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 2:18 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster
User avatar

Joined: Fri Feb 26, 2010 1:52 pm
Posts: 24
I am confused, I thought donh was giving you a compliment jack and you just went off......wow really.I think your posts were flip flopping too.And it didnt make me confused about me... I dont understand the attack after what I read was a compliment... :?


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 2:29 pm 
Offline
Super Poster
Super Poster

Joined: Fri Dec 11, 2009 10:29 am
Posts: 164
donh wrote:
I also have to say this, there is absolutely no doubt in my mind how much getting back on Suboxone has helped you Jack. You are posting like a completely different person in the past week or two. Your thoughts, the way you are writing, all of it... You clearly seem to be doing much better on Sub than you previously were while off of it. In fact, I'll just be honest with you, I didn't care very much for many of the things that you said. You were all over the map. One day you were red the next day you were green (if that makes sense). I even remember some other posters calling you out on some very obvious flip flops that you had made. But now, you really are like a new person. Have others noticed the difference Jack? Have you? You really do seem like a new person on Suboxone. The difference is very evident - at least it is to me. I certainly hope you take all of this as a compliment - as that is how it is intended.


Donh... I believe you're very perceptive and correct in your accessment with regards to this situation.

I don't see [even a little bit] how what you said to Jack relates to how YOU were feeling confused or frustrated. Sometimes when people don't want to hear or accept truths about their own actions or behaviors, they attempt to deflect or redirect the attention from themselves to another... which in this case was you. I think Freud would call this Displacement... Her claiming that YOU were feeling frustrated and confused [from her inconsistant flip flops] would be a form of Projection, according to Freud.

Please don't let this "anaylsis" deter you from your insightful and helpful postings...


Last edited by suboxfreedom on Fri Mar 26, 2010 3:04 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: wow
PostPosted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 2:33 pm 
Offline
Super Poster
Super Poster

Joined: Fri Dec 11, 2009 10:29 am
Posts: 164
jenealle wrote:
I am confused, I thought donh was giving you a compliment jack and you just went off......wow really.I think your posts were flip flopping too.And it didnt make me confused about me... I dont understand the attack after what I read was a compliment... :?


I tried to point that out to her and she went off on me too... she seems to take exception to anything said [to or about her] that is less than perfection.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 3:49 pm 
I'm really hesitant to reply here because I do not want to appear to be "taking sides." I have respect for both donh and Jackcrack for their contributions here. I do have to agree with donh though on this one.....I could see an almost immediate change in Jackcrack's postings after she got back on Suboxone. I don't know if the change was directly related to the fact that she got back on Sub or not. I considered that perhaps the change was due to having gotten through the "crisis" she had been going through or quite honestly, I considered that it may have been because she had been on full-agonists following a surgery she had recently had. I know when I was in active addiction, depending on how 'loaded' I was or was not, my writing, speaking or even my thoughts could become pretty disjointed at times. Those were just my thoughts on the matter. I chose not to call it to anyone's attention at the time because I felt confident that Jackcrack would be defensive about it and because in the grand scheme of things, I didn't feel like it mattered.
This forum is such a great outlet for people in recovery and I wouldn't want anyone to feel like they couldn't come onto the forum and share without worry of being judged. On the other hand....If you're coming here to share, you're pretty much asking for feedback. Sometimes that feedback isn't pleasant or isn't what you might want to hear. In those instances, we're left with making a choice on what to do with that feedback. We can either receive it as intended (as I feel donh's post was intended as a compliment) or we can become defensive and gain nothing from the feedback except resentment. Our choice every time.
We are all at different stages in recovery. Some of us have accepted our powerlessness and are ready to eat the huge slice of humble pie we need to get better and some of us are not there yet. Regardless, it's a journey. It's not a race. And it's not a contest. There is nothing to be gained by judging one another or by calling out another on their faults, mistakes, or missteps in recovery. If someone comes here and posts a bunch of nonsense, outright false or inaccurate information, they need to be called on it. But in my opinion, it should be pointed out in much the same way it was presented. If it was presented in an intential effort to mislead, then I guess we could come out with guns blazing. On the other hand, if an innocent mistake is made, we owe it to each other as peers in recovery to be gentle. That's my opinion anyway.
I really believe that all of us who participate here regularly make a wonderful contribution. Part of what makes this place so great is the diversity of the participants. I think we can be of the most help to each other by offering support and acceptance no matter where we are in our individual journeys. We're not always going to see things the same, but we can always be respectful of each other. To me, that includes being careful not to take offense when there is none intended and learning how to sometimes just let things slide.
I appreciate all of you. You guys all are helping me every single day. Forgive me in advance for anything I may say that comes out wrong or seems offensive. That is never my intent. I hope I can do as I say and look at the proverbial log in my eye before pointing out the speck in someone else's!


Top
  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 4:09 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:55 pm
Posts: 4933
Location: Leesburg, FL
I, too, hesitated to post to this thread, yet here I am.

I understand that a compliment was intended, however, I'm not sure it quite came out that way, at least not to me. I also don't feel that Jackcrack's response was defensive in nature, at least not in it's totality. More than anything else, I found it to be an explanation and a response, after which it all seemed to have been dropped. All seemed fine and the thread went on as originally intended.

The issue I currently have is I don't see anything to be gained by stirring the pot up all over again. And I think that's what's happened here.

Regardless of how we all see the situation, another thread was high-jacked or diverted and I think many of these posts might have been better served as PM's.

_________________
-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 5:33 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster
User avatar

Joined: Fri Feb 26, 2010 1:52 pm
Posts: 24
All I know is I told a friend to post ?s here and she called me and told me about jackcracks post....and now she is not gonna post....But I think it was wrong to attack donh an it was an attack.rather rude one at that...and I dont know why you jumped at 12mg,but your attitude is different like it or not :roll:


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Mar 27, 2010 12:38 pm 
Offline
Super Poster
Super Poster

Joined: Fri Dec 11, 2009 10:29 am
Posts: 164
setmefree wrote:
I'm really hesitant to reply here because I do not want to appear to be "taking sides." I have respect for both donh and Jackcrack for their contributions here. I do have to agree with donh though on this one.....I could see an almost immediate change in Jackcrack's postings after she got back on Suboxone. I don't know if the change was directly related to the fact that she got back on Sub or not. I considered that perhaps the change was due to having gotten through the "crisis" she had been going through or quite honestly, I considered that it may have been because she had been on full-agonists following a surgery she had recently had. I know when I was in active addiction, depending on how 'loaded' I was or was not, my writing, speaking or even my thoughts could become pretty disjointed at times. Those were just my thoughts on the matter. I chose not to call it to anyone's attention at the time because I felt confident that Jackcrack would be defensive about it and because in the grand scheme of things, I didn't feel like it mattered.
This forum is such a great outlet for people in recovery and I wouldn't want anyone to feel like they couldn't come onto the forum and share without worry of being judged. On the other hand....If you're coming here to share, you're pretty much asking for feedback. Sometimes that feedback isn't pleasant or isn't what you might want to hear. In those instances, we're left with making a choice on what to do with that feedback. We can either receive it as intended (as I feel donh's post was intended as a compliment) or we can become defensive and gain nothing from the feedback except resentment. Our choice every time.
We are all at different stages in recovery. Some of us have accepted our powerlessness and are ready to eat the huge slice of humble pie we need to get better and some of us are not there yet. Regardless, it's a journey. It's not a race. And it's not a contest. There is nothing to be gained by judging one another or by calling out another on their faults, mistakes, or missteps in recovery. If someone comes here and posts a bunch of nonsense, outright false or inaccurate information, they need to be called on it. But in my opinion, it should be pointed out in much the same way it was presented. If it was presented in an intential effort to mislead, then I guess we could come out with guns blazing. On the other hand, if an innocent mistake is made, we owe it to each other as peers in recovery to be gentle. That's my opinion anyway.
I really believe that all of us who participate here regularly make a wonderful contribution. Part of what makes this place so great is the diversity of the participants. I think we can be of the most help to each other by offering support and acceptance no matter where we are in our individual journeys. We're not always going to see things the same, but we can always be respectful of each other. To me, that includes being careful not to take offense when there is none intended and learning how to sometimes just let things slide.
I appreciate all of you. You guys all are helping me every single day. Forgive me in advance for anything I may say that comes out wrong or seems offensive. That is never my intent. I hope I can do as I say and look at the proverbial log in my eye before pointing out the speck in someone else's!


Obviously your take on this is more responsible and mature than mine. However. you haven't come under attack by this person for simply bringing to her attention clear inconsistancies in her postings. Looking back, I agree that it could have been done in a more gentle way or else via PM.

One thing to note is that during that time... and after she became defensive... I tried my best to keep further discussion between her and myself going via PM. However, she would not have any of that and insisted on following up within everyone elses view. It was extremely difficult to not take offense to something like that. Then to see her try and turn her own issues back on Donh [after she/he made an innocent post]... opened up an old wound for me and triggered my own immature side.

You are right with regards to the part of becoming humble... that is so hard for me.... and I know the beam in my eye is enormous. That is something I need to constantly be aware of and work on.

I think most addicts understand that confrontation [when done right] is an important part of recovery. I've had a lot of my own shortcomings brought to my attention over the years and though I didn't like it at the time... most of it has been helpful in understanding who I am and where I need to go.

That being said... I agree that Jacks demeanor and attitude has changed much for the better after getting back on subs. I congratulate her for that and wish her the best.... and most of all regret confronting her in an open discussion.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 21 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Our Sponsors
Suboxone Forum latest topics RSS feed Subscribe to the entire forum
 

 

 
Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group