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 Post subject: New Patient
PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2018 4:19 pm 
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Hello, I just started this program three days ago. I had been going to pain management for ten years due to a back injury, which led to surgery and then spinal deterioration. I stopped going to pain management almost a year ago because I can't afford it. Needless to say, coming off all that stuff was not only hard, but over the past year, impossible, for me anyway. I couldn't handle the sickness. I finally got tired of worrying about how to get through each day, constantly having to fetch, not to mention the financial hardship it has caused. I was hoping suboxine would be very temporary, but the clinic said their minimum is a year. I took the first step last Friday, a week and a day ago. Then I took the bigger step by going to the clinic that following Monday. Then I was supposed to be back there the next day, Tuesday, for my induction. I finally made that last step On Thursday. I was so scared, confused, many emotions. I have barely slept since the day I went the first time to the clinic. I finally took the biggest step Thursday and began the suboxine. I was not expecting the drug to act the way it did, especially the first day, it put me in la la land. I'm not taking as much as the Dr Thought I needed, I think. They gave me ten strips Thursday, today is Saturday and I still have five and a half strips, I'm really hoping this is a good thing. My story is much more, and I know I have questions and more stuff I'd like to say, but I feel the need to end it here right now. Thank you for having a place for me to post. I mainly just wanted to say hello.


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 Post subject: Re: New Patient
PostPosted: Sun Apr 15, 2018 12:01 am 
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Hi Tabitha! I moved your post to the Introductions section of the forum because people are more likely to see it in that section.

Congratulations on starting on suboxone. How suboxone makes you feel at first is a function of how much medication you've been taking and if you were fully in withdrawal when you started suboxone. That information would be helpful for us to know to help explain why you've experienced the symptoms you have had. You mentioned having 10 strips, but 10 strips of what? I'm assuming you have the 8mg strips, but they also come in 4mg and 2mg strips.

So, were you still on opioids on a regular basis? What kind and how much? If you were on a low level of opioids then taking too much suboxone can feel overwhelming. Did the doctor start you out with a full 8 mg? My doctor started me on 4mg and then 4mg more and I finally reached 12 mg before I felt the big change from being in withdrawal to feeling normal. I never felt like I was in la-la-land, as you put it.

My guess is that your doctor should have started at 4mg instead of 8mg and that 4mg or 6mg may be a better dose for you. Regardless, though, you should stop having any symptoms of feeling out of it very soon as your body adjust to the medication.

Also, if you are truly addicted, and it sounds like you are, your clinic has the right idea. Scientific study is showing that opioid addicts who are on buprenorphine less than a year relapse at the same rate as an addict who was never on the medication at all. That's about a 90-95% relapse rate. We suggest that you use the time on buprenorphine to work hard on your recovery, whether that is addiction therapy, meetings of NA or SMART Recovery, or changing your life until it is unrecognizable from your time in active addiction. If you don't do the work then you will often be right back where you started when you go to taper off suboxone.

I hope that this has given you a little bit more information. Please feel free to ask whatever questions you have!

Amy

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 Post subject: Re: New Patient
PostPosted: Sun Apr 15, 2018 7:42 am 
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Hey Tabitha!

I don’t really have any idea of what ur tolerance is/was before starting buprenorphine, and that’s pretty important when u do ur induction and especially on what ur dose will be. I didn’t get any ‘la la effect’. The only thing I got was relief from my withdrawal and cravings. My tolerance was on the higher side and my doctor started my induction on 8mg even though the next day & after was 16mg (until I dropped my dose over a year later). I’m assuming that those of us with a higher tolerance will feel a more ‘normal’ type feeling along with relief of the withdrawal we were experiencing during the induction. U didn’t mention what ur tolerance was.

Do u consider urself an addict? I’m just wondering why u didn’t want to take the medication very long.

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 Post subject: Re: New Patient
PostPosted: Sun Apr 15, 2018 2:05 pm 
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Hey Tabitha,


Welcome & congratulations on taking the big step & transition to Suboxone. Here we are a family & we help each other as best as we possibly can.


1) could you let us know a little more about yourself? Like what mg of bupe are you on? How do you feel now as opposed to before?


Also, I am not trying to plagiarise Jenn & Amy, but do you consider yourself an addict? We're you able to stop the pain medication on your own? Another thing you will want to consider, buprenorphine is meant to be consumed for over a year. Anything under a year will make you more prone to relapsing. While your on bupe, get comfortable with yourself. I'm not kidding. Get to know yourself again & work on your recovery. Also, find your appropriate dose of buprenorphine. I have found myself to be stable at 8 mgs divided up by two. 4 mgs in the am, 4 mgs in the pm.
I hope this helps you, Tabitha! Let us all know here how you're doing!


Love,

Ash

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 Post subject: Re: New Patient
PostPosted: Sun Apr 15, 2018 4:58 pm 
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I just wrote this long letter and accidentally erased it, uugghh, lol. Anyway, thank you girls for your responses, I really appreciate it. She started me out taking a half of my 8mg strips. The la la land feeling was gone after the first couple of days. I actually wake up, when I sleep, feeling great. I don't have to worry about getting through the day and not to mention the money. This is absolutely wonderful. I'm ready to stop these now, because I haven't felt any sickness or anything. However, it's only been four days and I'm figuring my body may not be quite ready yet, and that if I wait long enough I'll probably get sick, I honestly don't know what I'm doing, other than finally feeling free. I overdid it a bit last night and my back started hurting, so I took my ibuprofen. I have an artificial disc, herniated discs, spurs, degenerative spinal disease, arthritis, etc. So I'm hoping the ibuprofen will help keep it at bay for the most part, it actually doesn't have a choice because I'm never going back to pain pills again, with or without a Dr., lol. I feel free for the first time in 10 years. I wasn't in full withdrawal when I took my first dose, it had been almost 24hrs since I took a 30mg oxy. I also can't say if I'm an addict, but my body definitely was, or is. As for how much I was taking?, it varied honestly. There were weeks when I could, if I had to, stretch one 30 for 24 hrs, but that was the limit. Most days, I would take at least two or three throughout the day, if I had them. As years went on my prescriptions were not lasting me a month and I'd run out early. Then they started to cut back even though my issues were getting worse, then there was their fee, which kept increasing. So about a year ago I decided that was it and stopped going, but my body had other ideas. I stopped going, a few months later I went in to say good morning to my mom, in August, as we lived together and I cared for her. She was gone, out of the blue and with no warning I lost her, along with a huge part of me. Then lost my house, and so on. It's been a rough year, but I had to do this, cause it was causing problems with other factors and I'm so glad I did. I've been ok with two 4mg strips a day, but now they seem to be making me drowsy when I take one. I am not sure if I answered every question, and last time I tried to look I pulled down on my screen and lost everything I typed, lol. If I find another question I didn't answer, I'll just post again. I really have no idea what I'm doing, what I'm in for, or anything. I go back to see the Dr tomorrow so she can figure out exactly what to dose me with, I think. I have been writing everything down. Thank you so much for writing to me, it really means a lot. Take care everyone.
Tabatha


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 Post subject: Re: New Patient
PostPosted: Sun Apr 15, 2018 5:35 pm 
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Omgoodness!! I just have to tell y'all this. I stalled for a couple days before my induction because I was frightened and didn't know if I was doing the right thing. I wanted a sign so bad. I'm not a religious person, but I do believe in God and talk to him occasionally. I don't know how to pray, so I just talk. Anyway, I talked to my pharmacist when I picked up my suboxone, as he knew all the meds I've been on because I've been going to them for years. He gave me a thumbs up. Then I finally went to my primary to tell him. I never told him I was having problems stopping the pain meds, plus I have been taking xanax for about 12 years, and knew I had to tell him. I've never seen him so lit up the way I did then. He told me how proud he was of me and that if I get to anxious or have any problems, or if I just want to talk, to call him anytime. If you knew my Dr you'd understand how that was so out of the box for him, lol. Well that pretty much sealed it for me, but then something else happened that evening, which I believe was my sign I've been looking for. I've been after this particular job for almost a year now. It's a job at the fuel company my fiance drives for. I knew they were wanting a dispatcher. Keep in mind I've been in food service my whole life. Anyway, my finances boss called that night to ask if I was interested in a job. He had already cleared it with the owner, etc. I was so excited. I went in Friday and talked to him and found out what he's looking for, which is awesome, he wants me to learn everything and eventually become the full time dispatcher, plus know the Back seat operations, in other words, the whole business. He said Friday that he'd contact me Monday after he talked to his boss again in order to get me together a compensation package. I guess that's his way of saying how much I'll make starting out. Well as soon as I got finished writing my last post to y'all, my fiance comes in the door with his, and now my, boss on the phone. He handed me the phone, my boss gave me an offer of pay, which by the way is way more than I've ever made in my life, and I start Tuesday. Is that a sign I'm going in the right direction, or what??! I'm so excited. Sorry if I bored y'all or got off track, I just had to tell someone. I wish my mom was here. I'm going to cry now. Thank you for reading.


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 Post subject: Re: New Patient
PostPosted: Sun Apr 15, 2018 7:39 pm 
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Tabatha wrote:
I just wrote this long letter and accidentally erased it, uugghh, lol. Anyway, thank you girls for your responses, I really appreciate it. She started me out taking a half of my 8mg strips. The la la land feeling was gone after the first couple of days. I actually wake up, when I sleep, feeling great. I don't have to worry about getting through the day and not to mention the money. This is absolutely wonderful. I'm ready to stop these now, because I haven't felt any sickness or anything. However, it's only been four days and I'm figuring my body may not be quite ready yet, and that if I wait long enough I'll probably get sick, I honestly don't know what I'm doing, other than finally feeling free. I overdid it a bit last night and my back started hurting, so I took my ibuprofen. I have an artificial disc, herniated discs, spurs, degenerative spinal disease, arthritis, etc. So I'm hoping the ibuprofen will help keep it at bay for the most part, it actually doesn't have a choice because I'm never going back to pain pills again, with or without a Dr., lol. I feel free for the first time in 10 years. I wasn't in full withdrawal when I took my first dose, it had been almost 24hrs since I took a 30mg oxy. I also can't say if I'm an addict, but my body definitely was, or is. As for how much I was taking?, it varied honestly. There were weeks when I could, if I had to, stretch one 30 for 24 hrs, but that was the limit. Most days, I would take at least two or three throughout the day, if I had them. As years went on my prescriptions were not lasting me a month and I'd run out early. Then they started to cut back even though my issues were getting worse, then there was their fee, which kept increasing. So about a year ago I decided that was it and stopped going, but my body had other ideas. I stopped going, a few months later I went in to say good morning to my mom, in August, as we lived together and I cared for her. She was gone, out of the blue and with no warning I lost her, along with a huge part of me. Then lost my house, and so on. It's been a rough year, but I had to do this, cause it was causing problems with other factors and I'm so glad I did. I've been ok with two 4mg strips a day, but now they seem to be making me drowsy when I take one. I am not sure if I answered every question, and last time I tried to look I pulled down on my screen and lost everything I typed, lol. If I find another question I didn't answer, I'll just post again. I really have no idea what I'm doing, what I'm in for, or anything. I go back to see the Dr tomorrow so she can figure out exactly what to dose me with, I think. I have been writing everything down. Thank you so much for writing to me, it really means a lot. Take care everyone.
Tabatha



Tabatha, I'm so sorry about your mom's sudden death. My mom suddenly died in 2002 and we were so devastated! I had trouble just picking up my phone at that point as I didn't want to get more bad news. It was a year or two after her death that I started abusing percocet. There were other factors too, but losing Mom was losing my sense of home.

I'm so glad that your doctor was understanding about the xanax and abusing pain meds! Isn't it awesome when you can feel a partnership with your doctor?

I hope you stick around and keep posting!

Amy

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 Post subject: Re: New Patient
PostPosted: Mon Apr 16, 2018 8:45 am 
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Thank you Amy, you're so sweet. My mom was my rock and I always told her she couldn't leave me. Still don't know what happened overnight, but have a good idea. She was on pain management for about 30 years, but I didn't find out until I herniated my disc and the surgeon told me he could not operate, and that I had to go to pain management and get injections. I will never forget how hard I cried in his office that day when he said that. I just wanted it fixed. Finally when he said he'd operate, my insurance said no. I fought all the way to Tallahassee for the surgery and still lost. Then it ruptured, had no choice by then. Then my spine went downhill from there. Thank you for your kind words. I REALLY need and want my mom, but realize it's not going to happen.


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 Post subject: Re: New Patient
PostPosted: Mon Apr 16, 2018 9:24 am 
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Tabatha I’m so happy to hear about ur job!!!! That’s exciting and yes, I believe in signs also. I pray throughout my days every single day and I’m always asking for a sign for something. I get it :) My counselor at my clinic asked me a couple weeks ago to put in a job application at a local mental health clinic to be a peer counselor with other addicts, I have been praying about this let me tell ya! So u getting this job, I can totally understand how exciting that must be. Is ur fiancé a driver? My fiancé is too but not for a fuel company.

I lost my home too.... when I was in active addiction, I’ve never truly gotten over it because it was something that was totally mine and I screwed it up. I’m sorry to hear about ur mother too. My mom is my rock and I couldn’t imagine the pain that must be to feel.

Buprenorphine is wonderful in a way that it lasts into the next day and there’s no more of that waking up feeling horrible. I hated that, so when I woke up that very next morning after my induction, I was so grateful. I always say that waking up with peace of mind is priceless. As far as the feeling tired, this medicine can make ya sleepy if u sit down or u aren’t doing much at the time. My solution to that has always been to keep it moving. If I sit down for a little rest or break & start feeling sleepy, I just get bk up and start doing something and it immediately goes away. That tired feeling doesn’t hang around if u get to moving again :)

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 Post subject: Re: New Patient
PostPosted: Mon Apr 16, 2018 1:47 pm 
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Wow Tabatha, your story really is amazing!


First off, let me congratulate you on the job, you did it! Maybe this is God's way of saying, "hey Tabs, I'm proud of you for giving up the pain pills, here ya go!" He works in mysterious ways. I am a religious person, at least I consider myself to be. I pray everyday and God answers just about every single one of my questions! It's truly amazing how we turn our lives around with this medication!


Tabatha I'm truly sorry about the loss of your mother, it must be terrible. I lost my brother two years ago to a heroin addiction, he was just 26 years old. As a result of his death, I got sober a year later & realized that he's all around me everyday. Simply typing this makes me want to cry, but I know deep down that my brother is always with me. Just like how your mom is always with you, Tabatha. She's right there with you when stuff gets tough, & shes also with you when good things happen. Like I said earlier, get comfortable with yourself and everything around you, & let Suboxone work it's magic. Give yourself a year at least. See how everything goes. That's what I did & my life today is so complete. I'm not just living, I'm on top of the world! If you ever wanna talk, feel free to message me!!


Love always,


Ash

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 Post subject: Re: New Patient
PostPosted: Tue Apr 17, 2018 11:51 am 
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Tabatha, I just want to add that I'm sorry I spelled your name wrong! I'll make sure it's correct from now on!

Amy

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