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 Post subject: Introducing myself
PostPosted: Sun Mar 25, 2018 12:36 pm 
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Hey everyone, I just posted a question in the Legal Issues section, and since it was my first post, I included a brief intro. I will copy and paste the intro below so I can formally introduce myself in the appropriate section. As I saw below, y'all are wonderful. You have helped me so much and indirectly answered many of my questions over the years. I feel like I know many of you personally already, and I don't know why it has taken me the long to post. I guess I'm just shy... even online!! Anyway, here is:


Hello Everyone, first I just want to say that even though this is my first post, I am not new here. I have visited this message board on and off since about 2009 when I first heard of Buprenorphine. Over the years, I feel like I've gotten to know some of you really well, (Amy, Rule, JennJen, etc. and of course Dr. J) even though I've never chimed in on any of the conversation. A quick background... I first started having a problem with opiates about 10 years ago, after getting a bottle of Percocet 5/325 for having my wisdom teeth out. While I only needed about 5 or 6 of them for the post-op pain, I was given a bottle of 30. Being the curious teenager who had experimented with alcohol and marijuana, and knowing that one could "catch a buzz" off Percocet, I decided to try taking a few of the leftover pills at once. I still, 10 years later, have a distinct memory of that evening, lying back in my bed, itching, thinking "damn I wish I could feel like this all the time!". It gave me the feeling of well being and decreased inhibitions of alcohol without all the haziness, loss of coordination, and the hangover. Anyway, it was all downhill from there, as y'all can imagine. Jumping ahead a number of years, I finally got on subs under the care of a physician in summer 2014. My first doctor was not very good but a year later, I switched to a wonderful doctor who I kept all the way through last summer of 2017. I was actually forced to leave her because I lost my job and could no longer afford the visits or the meds. Luckily, over the years, I was able to stockpile enough meds to last me through today.

Hope everyone has a wonderful day!

SouthBy


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 Post subject: Re: Introducing myself
PostPosted: Sun Mar 25, 2018 2:06 pm 
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Hello Southby!! Welcome to finally posting! Glad ya did :)

I remember my first time of taking oxycodone and thinking to myself.... wow I would love to feel this way all the time. I became super Mom and super woman around my house too, cleaning like a mad lady. I was a single mother at the time and had 3 kids and a full time job and I was exhausted. I always remembered years later how deceiving that was because the withdrawal that would come to follow those warm feelings were not worth it. Too bad something couldn't have flashed a picture of our future exposing how those pills would really make us feel in a short time, like a warning.

It's amazing how an addiction to opiates can destroy someone's life. In a short time, what took me a long time to build and achieve, I lost every single bit of it. I literally walked away with the clothes on my back. Lost temporary custody of my children, my job, my beautiful house, my car...... I gained a criminal history though. Terrible. Nobody but other addicts can really understand it. My family and fiancé can try, but they'll never understand that desperation and obsession that will make u do crazy things. I'm thankful to have other's to talk to and relate to.

Thank goodness I found buprenorphine. It's the only thing that gave me a fighting chance. I'm thankful to have a 'normal' life again because I sure didn't ever think it would happen.

I'm sorry to hear u had to leave ur doctor because of financial reasons. I understand how difficult that is. I pay cash too and goodness gracious it can get tough! Are u going to try to find another doctor or go bk to the last one if u get this job u were talking about in ur other post? I know u said u have a good stockpile (good for u!), will u be returning bk to treatment or tapering?

So glad u finally posted!! Stick around!

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Jennifer


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 Post subject: Re: Introducing myself
PostPosted: Sun Mar 25, 2018 3:06 pm 
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As I said on your legal post, it's nice to finally hear from you!

Amy

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 Post subject: Re: Introducing myself
PostPosted: Mon Mar 26, 2018 9:26 am 
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Thanks for the replies! In response to JennJenn, I will likely try and get back with my old doctor assuming I get this job. I have not been in touch with her since last summer but I would be shocked if she stopped practicing. She had many long time patients, some of whom would drive hours for their appointments. She was a firm believer in maintenance and it being the patient's decision when they are ready to start tapering...not the doctor's. That's in contrast to my first doctor that I mentioned in my intro who basically told me on my first appointment "I want you off this stuff within a year!"

As for the financial constraints, it was not so much the actual cost of the doctor...my doc's rates were very reasonable plus since I was with her for over a year she was letting me come see her every 2 months. It was the loss of my health insurance that made it so I could not afford the meds on top of the visit. Hopefully getting health insurance back with my job will allow me to continue seeing her.

Also, in response to JennJenn's comment about Oxy making her "Super Mom", I can totally see that, even though I am not a mom LOL. I was thinking earlier how it gave me all the positive effects of the stimulants I had tried before like Adderall and cocaine without the "cracked out" feeling. And all the positive effects of sedatives like alcohol and benzos without the clumsy, sloppy lack of coordination. It was like all the good things about each substance out there combined into one. That is, of course, before the withdrawals set in. I don't even need to go there... I assume that's why we're all here.

Anyway, Thanks for your replies!

SouthBy


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 Post subject: Re: Introducing myself
PostPosted: Mon Mar 26, 2018 1:10 pm 
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Hi Southby, and congrats on finally joining the membership. No fun watching from the outside. Glad you decided to join our informative forum.

Your story is like so many others here. You probably already know mine so no need to get into details. All I'll say is that I started out as a drug addict, got clean at 16 years old, became an active alcoholic until I was 32 and then finally hit a bottom that allowed me to surrender to the power of the addiction vampires. Stupid, stupid, pain pills! My life was going great until a minor surgery let the vampire back out of its cage and it hasn't been locked up since. Thank the gods for Suboxone.

Please try to be a contributing member here from now on. So many members come and go that when some stay we really appreciate it. We mods don't like to respond to every new post. We prefer the membership to chime in first and we'll comment if need be. (I'm really speaking about myself here and not the other mods) To me, a new person will be better served by their peers and not by a moderator. Some see us as management and we are far from that. We only keep the peace here.

Great to have you on board.

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 Post subject: Re: Introducing myself
PostPosted: Mon Mar 26, 2018 5:15 pm 
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Thanks Rule! You are of course one of the "etc.'s" I referred to, as people who I feel like I know by now. I always enjoy what you have to say on a topic. And thanks for the reminder to stick around. I will do my best, given that my personality type is bad about starting things enthusiastically and then never finish them. It's something I am always working on, to be consistent with things in my life. I was bad about that even before I began active addiction. So I hope that continuing to be a part of the conversation here will not only help with that, but with my overall recovery. In early recovery, I got a sponsor and worked the 12 steps, went to meetings regularly, etc. but over time the meetings did less for me. I grew a little tired of their dogmatic nature and the cliquiness of the people. I also had to stop going to see my therapist when I lost my health insurance, along with my job, and could no longer afford it. So for now, all you guys will be my fellow addicts that I can relate to. Hope everyone's week is going well so far.

SouthBy


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 Post subject: Re: Introducing myself
PostPosted: Wed Mar 28, 2018 1:51 pm 
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Hi Southby!



My name is Ash, it's great to know that you're here & in recovery with us all!

Rule, I completely agree with you! Alot of the times, people come here & leave it at the introduction. :( Ever since I signed up on this site back in February, I come here everyday!!
Southby, you will find loads & loads of information regarding buprenorphine. Whatever questions you have, we will try to answer to the best of our knowledge!


I really hope you keep coming here, ever since I've registered with this forum, I've had so many questions answered & it's brought peace to my life.



Love,

Ash

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I may not have all what I want, but thank GOD I know how that I have all that I need.


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 Post subject: Re: Introducing myself
PostPosted: Mon Apr 02, 2018 10:28 am 
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Thanks for your post, Ash! I have found so much useful info in this forum over the years but as I said, I am only now getting around to posting. I look forward to benefiting even more now that I am part of the conversation. I am glad you found your way here too. Welcome!

SouthBy


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 Post subject: Re: Introducing myself
PostPosted: Tue Apr 03, 2018 6:59 am 
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It's also great you're here Southby!


If you have any questions or feel you want to talk at all, feel free to message us! This place has become a safe haven for us all!


Love,

Ash

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I may not have all what I want, but thank GOD I know how that I have all that I need.


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