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 Post subject: Very discouraged..
PostPosted: Sat Mar 01, 2014 2:26 am 
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Went to my assessment today&was placed on a 4 to 6 month waiting list to get into this "Freedom Program" for Suboxone.. Was told 30-60 days of inpatient treatment MAY or MAY NOT help me get in faster.. I am starting to think that I just am SOL and am losing hope.. Have called all but one doctor in Peoria&multiple times at that.. Either not accepting patients at this time, &no wait list to sign up for, or being told I will recieve a call&never do.. Plan to call this last doctor on the list starting around 8am.. But honestly if I can't get someone who accepts medicaid I don't even think I will be able to do this anyway.. Can't afford 30-60 days inpatient, financially or in losing that many days at this point in time.. So sad&discouraged right now..

-Karma<3


*edit* I am beginning to consider methadone treatment until the freedom program opens up.. I just want to be off heroin and I honestly feel like I have recieved NO positive or helpful information and I have been trying so hard.. At least with the methadone I can basically get in immediately, and I will maybe be able to maintain on a low dose? Idk.. So confused..

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 Post subject: Re: Very discouraged..
PostPosted: Sat Mar 01, 2014 10:00 am 
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Hi Karma,

I'm not sure how others here feel about this, but I would say that if you just absolutely can't get in with a sub doctor then you should do whatever you need to do to get off the H. If you are planning on switching to suboxone at some point then I would definitely try to keep your dose as low as possible. Methadone to suboxone isn't an easy switch, you can search some threads on that here to get an idea of what will be involved. But, the main thing is getting off the H! You are putting your life at risk every time you use...at least with methadone you can start some real recovery.

I know it's dissapointing, and I wish that you had access to a suboxone doctor right now! That is my main complaint with suboxone treatment the way it is set up. There are so many addicts that are in need of treatment, and only so many doctors to go around. I just hate it. I hope things get better at some point in the near future, but you need to take care of yourself now.

Good luck!

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No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt


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 Post subject: Re: Very discouraged..
PostPosted: Sat Mar 01, 2014 10:23 am 
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I'm sorry that you're feeling so discouraged,I'm sure I would be also, but if you have a methadone treatment center nearby, then I'd consider that a very viable option right now. I know is not exactly what you wanted to do at this point, but methadone treatment is still considered by many to be the gold standard in the treatment of opiate dependence. and like you said you can try to keep your dose as low as possible,( while making sure you're comfortable and not craving) and be a lot safer than doing the H while you're waiting for your spot to open up at the sub program. I dont know about where you live, but here some methadone clinics also dispense buprenorphine, often with far l ess restrictions than with methadone, and in some cases take home doses can be earned much more quickly than meth also. while you are in the methadone clinic, you can utilize their counseling services also, giving you more tools to fight your addiction. Try to keep your head up. I know methadone doesn't seem like the optimal solution right now, you''ll still be a heck of a lot safer than you are now. those few months will fly by.
that said, the other members are right about meth to sub not being the easiest transition to make, but it can be done and there are members here with experience who will be glad to help/ advise you while you make the transition if you do decide to go the methadone route. I wish you well, and hope that you'll start to feel more and more positive about doing whatever is necessary to get the help you need.
sometimes I get so angry when I think about how great the need is out there for Suboxone providers, and how few there actually are. it makes no sense to me, hopefully something,(idk what) will bring about that needed change soon. I mean it's literally a life or death scenario.


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 Post subject: Re: Very discouraged..
PostPosted: Sat Mar 01, 2014 10:49 am 
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I am pasting my response to you from another thread, sorry I am lazy but I did want to offer my support:

Do whatever it takes to stay away from heroine. I know it may seem like methadone is not much better, but at least you're not "in the street life" anymore and you would be in a structured program. Take what you can get at this point. It will be a bit rough when the transition time comes to move from meth to bup, but it can be done and I would think that if you can keep your meth dose down that it can be managed with least amount of pain. Now I am not saying it won;t be pain free, because methadone is a hard one to switch from if on higher doses, but I did it from a high dose of Fentanyl which can be just as bad. From my experience you will probably have a week of varying discomfort. Nothing you won't be able to handle, but do expect some RLS and semi sleepless night for a few days. But just knowing it won't be too long is some comfort.
Of course, you know how you feel and you should know if it sounds like something you want to do. I do l know however, that 6 more months trying to "get by" with H IS NOT the better option. There are too many things that could go wrong, plus in a methadone program you could already start learning the tools you need to fight this thing. That will give you a 6 month head start.

Please keep us updated. We're here to support you!

Much luck,

John

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" Each relapse starts with one thought— maybe, just maybe, this time will be different… that little thought has killed thousands and thousands of opiate addicts over the years."
- Dr Jeffery Junig (Subox Doc)


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 Post subject: Re: Very discouraged..
PostPosted: Sat Mar 01, 2014 8:16 pm 
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Wow, thank you guys SO much for the supportive&helpful replies.. It really is so comforting to be able to communicate with people who have been basically where I am&understand what I am going through.. You guys really helped me a lot just now, after reading the responses I feel a lot less discouraged&a bit more hopeful, thank you guys.. It is more appreciated than you realize.. I am planning on calling the woman who did my assessment Monday morning to talk to her about the methadone clinic to maintain until I can switch.. I think that I will do fine on a low dose honestly.. I use H but I only honestly do it as a self medication thing.. NOT TO SAY AT ALL that it is smart or safe in any way shape or form. I just meant that seeing as I don't actually use to get HIGH, only for pain, anxiety, insomnia ect.. That I will feel alright on a relatively low dose. I signed up for an opiate addictiom group&am gonna attend a few AA meetings over the next week as well. I am trying to figure out more about this SMART Recovery program because I think it might focus a little less on religion, but idk if that's true.. Either way I am gonna start going to these meetings&seeing a psychiatrist to start finding ways to treat my PTSD anxiety&insomnia.. And my intense feelings of guilt&being so ashamed of myself.. I honestly beat myself up so much mentally its a bit scary.. But again, this forum has helped&taught me so much and I feel like I know a lot of you from reading your stories. Thank you again! Much love,

-Karma<3

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 Post subject: Re: Very discouraged..
PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2014 12:46 am 
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I am glad we could help you feel better about your decision. Please don't beat yourself up. When it all comes down to it, everyone is just trying to make it the best way that they can.

Just keep in mind there will be discomfort during your switch from meth to subs as to do it right, you'll have to go through some mild WDs. We'll help you cross that bridge when you get there, the important thing is for you to feel good about your decision.

I wish you all the luck! Please keep up posted on your progress and how your methadone maintenance goes. Others maybe able to learn from your experiences.

Much love,

Reprieve

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" Each relapse starts with one thought— maybe, just maybe, this time will be different… that little thought has killed thousands and thousands of opiate addicts over the years."
- Dr Jeffery Junig (Subox Doc)


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 Post subject: Re: Very discouraged..
PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2014 1:13 am 
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Yeah, I am prepared to deal with the WD process when I get there. It wouldn't be real recovery if you aren't prepared to deal with some discomfort&pain along the way, right? =p
I see so many people blame suboxone for all these problems&not "fixing" their addiction&it just seems so silly and ridiculous to me that anyone can think you can get better&recover without putting in the effort required to be successful lol. I will keep everyone posted&update about my experiences as they happen..
I found out more about this rehab they want me to go to&actually took the steps to put myself on their wait list.. As much as I hate the idea of going to rehab.. It might help me, I dont really know.. I've never had any addiction issues until the last ten months, but I HAVE had a lot of traumas in my life. From being abused ages two till eleven, abandonment from my mom until I moved out at fourteen, and then losing the father of my daughter to a very violent home invasion.. Who knows, maybe the structured environment of a rehab facility is what I need to get on track.. Not to mention the introduction to counseling&I'd be sure to get a lot of advice, referrals to the right docs, counselors, and psychiatrists ect.. I'm just scared of losing work, home, my daughter.. Lots of fear.. But the best thing about it is that they actually do a suboxone taper program at the rehab. And its only fifty bucks with my medical card, which I dont even have to have immediately. The can bill me and I can even make payment plans.. Hopefully they call in the next few weeks. I will for sure let you guys know how it all turns out.

-Karma*

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Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

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