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PostPosted: Sat Sep 10, 2011 9:00 am 
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I am 50 years old,father of two,married,self employed and the sole income provider of my household.
I have been addicted to oxycodone/oxycontin for 2 years, using up to 240 ml. per day. I get all my drugs on the street and have never had a Dr. script.
I had a plan to quit. I was able to buy 10, 8 ml. suboxone and thought i would start with 4 ml. for a few days and then start tapering down.

27 days ago i took my last dose of oxy and started the sub 24 hrs. later in wd.
I took 4ml. and felt better in 30 min. .Then 4ml. a day for four days and then 2 ml. for four days and then i started waiting as long as possible before taking any. The longest i went was 63 hours before giving in and taking less than 2ml.
That is where I am today and will soon run out of suboxone.
The main symptom of wd that i can't get past is this terrible panic feeling that gets my heart racing and i start to hyper ventilate and become so afraid of what may happen next that i give in and take some suboxone.
People I know who have been through this and got on suboxone and then got off it say that if i can get past that point and not take anything for at least 3 days i would be done and face a week of feeling tired and depressed.
I feel like I am so close to succeeding yet can't seem to "man up" and suffer the wd.

I have an apt. with a suboxone doc monday at 2 pm. but still wonder if i should just try to tuff it out?
because he wants me in full wd for the apt. I wonder if by then i will be so close to getting over the hump that i should just keep wd'ing till the end and not start the Dr. managed suboxone treatment?

Any advise here would be great. I have searched this forum for a story like mine of someone trying to self dose with street purchased suboxone and found nothing. I have however found much useful info here and respect the care shown on this forum for those of us struggling to improve our lives.

Thanks in advance for any response.


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 Post subject: Sub Appt
PostPosted: Sat Sep 10, 2011 11:31 am 
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If I were you I'd keep the Suboxone appointment and stay on monitored treatment for at least six months to a year. Work slowly at tapering like most of us do if and when we choose to get off it.

Do what you can to stay in mild to moderate withdrawal for your appointment but don't let it get too over bearing. You've always purchased from the street and I hate to say to go ahead and do that, but if you can get some more Sub to take today, then by Monday you should be about right for proper induction.

Please stop the illegal practice, you're only asking to be arrested and have your life ruined. Be very frank with your doctor, holding back nothing. Then, you will hopefully receive the proper treatment.

When I finally came clean with my doctor, it was the first time I'd been honest with anyone for ten years, including myself. It feels good and from there my treatment has only been positive.

Welcome to the forum and I wish you the best of recovery success.


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 11, 2011 8:28 am 
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Thank you for taking time to reply.
I plan on getting there monday and being honest and following instructions.
No more jail risk for me.
Just got to suffer a bit more wd till then. YUCK!!


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Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

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