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 Post subject: update!
PostPosted: Wed Jul 29, 2009 10:11 am 
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hello everyone!

its been a few months since I stopped suboxone and wanted to happily update that all is still well! I have been clean as a whistle for 2 months and it is not hard at all. it is almost like the whole mess was a bad dream... I just want to offer that "light at the end of the tunnel" and say that you CAN do it! didnt want to forget you guys!!!

xoxoxo


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 29, 2009 11:55 am 
mwflorida - Congrats to you! May I ask for a brief history of how long/how much Sub you were on and how you tapered? I have posted here a few times and read many of the posts on this site. I am new - on Sub for about 3-4 weeks now after about a 4 year hydro/oxy addiction. I have been doing very well on Suboxone and would plan on staying on it indefinately except for the fact that I am a nurse and I won't be able to regain my license/ability to make a living while on Sub.
I had tried abstinence based recovery for 10 months or so and failed - physical withdrawal symptoms and cravings made me feel like life was not worth living if it couldn't be better than that, so I relapsed (I didn't get back nearly to the level of drug use I had been on previously) but I could not stay clean. During that ten month period of time, my husband had been
very supportive, financially and otherwise, so I thought I would have plenty of time on Sub to progress in my recovery and eventually look at getting my license back and going back to work. However, since starting Sub, my husband has done a
a 180 on me, and things are not good at home at all. Needless to say, I have a threat looming over my head that I am going to be left to deal with getting back to work sooner than I wanted to. That being the case, I've got to look into a shorter course of Sub therapy and start trying to put my life back together faster than I had planned. Of course, my recovery is number one. I am committed to that. But as we all know, life goes on whether we're in recovery or not.
I would love to find employment in another field, but with 18 years of nursing and no other job experience that's gonna be difficult if not impossible.
Anyway, I would love to know about your history, your taper, and how bad (or not so bad) it was for you to come off Suboxone.
Thanks for any advice!


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 Post subject: you can do it...
PostPosted: Wed Jul 29, 2009 1:56 pm 
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A brief history. I have alays liked painkillers but for awhile, could take them or leave them. never did oxycontin, only vicodin and percocet, and always swallowed, never snorted... After my second son was born 11 months ago, I had them prescribed after my c-section, and it got away from me. I was using about 70 mg a day for about 6 months, went on suboxone for 20 days and went off at 1 mg. i got into a very good mindset about what was actually happening with my body. I am a family therapist, and part of my graduate degree is physiologically based, so I knew my stuff (just like you). now things are great! no more withdrawal, no emotional pain and very mild cravings. you can look to gain employment at a rehab center, they actually prefer to hire people with addiction backgrounds, and as a therapist, i know that for fact. if I can help you further, let me know and good luck! one big thing for me was not psyching myself out before I stopped. I have faced much worse physical pain that w/d, but when you attach that title to it, it is so much worse mentally... good luck!


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 29, 2009 5:02 pm 
Thanks so much. Like you, I just swallowed - lortab/vicodin and/or percocet, around 100-120mg or so a day at my worst, never did the sustained release stuff either. When I relapsed I only had gotten up to 30-60mg or so a day and knew I wasn't gonna make without trying something different in my recovery. I have read so much info re: Sub - some are obviously big fans of long-term maintenance, which I don't think I have a problem with at all. But given my particular situation (with a license to regain) I don't see how maintenance will be an option for me. I've read a lot as well about those tapering and stopping Sub saying that the shorter time and the less amount you're on - the easier it will be to get off.
So your insight and experience helps me greatly. Sounds like you just did a short-term detox/taper thing with it and did just great. Very good to hear! And I agree - so much is about attitude/mindset. I know for me when I tried abstinence based recovery, not only was I physically miserable, but I was terrified and just very 'weak' mentally. It did help me to have that kind of cognitive knowledge about what was going on with my body, but I just was not able to handle it at that time. Just with these few weeks of Sub I feel like I have a chance to have my life back. If any of that makes sense.
Mainly, it is just encouraging to know that it may indeed be possible to come off of Sub soon and do fine.
Don't have a clue what your spiritual belief system is, but if you're a praying woman - send some up for me!!!
Can't thank you enough!


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 Post subject: you can do it!
PostPosted: Wed Jul 29, 2009 7:51 pm 
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I hope you think of my story when you feel badly (physically and/or mentally)... because it does get better. I am not religious, so did not use prayer to get through this, what I did use is an inherent confidence I have in myself, and a realization that it was either the pills, or everything else. I could NOT have both, so I chose everything else (husband, 2 kids, job, house, life...). I just always knew in the back of my head that I would be OK, and my brain was recalibrating. I went to the gym every day, allowed myself a small pity party, and tried to do as much for my kids as I could... you can do it, you can get your license back and just know that the crappy time will ease up. if you want to stay on the suboxone long term, I truly believe that is MORE important than your license, as it is your life. What about teaching what you know, or working in a rehab as a medical professional? let me know if I can help! you can send me a private message if you want!


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 29, 2009 8:25 pm 
Thanks again for your comments and encouragement! You are so right - if I never practice as an RN again and have my sobriety and therefore my life, that just has to be okay. It's all a bit overwhelming at times, isn't it? I actually am quite a strong person, have made it through a few crises in the past without coming completely "unwound" so I know I can make it through this also. At this point I just wish my husband would hold my hand through it so I could come out on the other side with our life together intact. There is so much to lose. Yes, I will think of you and the many others like you who have come out on the other side, when I am feeling down. All the best to you!


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