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PostPosted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 8:44 am 
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WELL HERE I AM AGAIN. "ADDICTED". DO WE EVER GET BETTER OR DOES OUR ADDICTION JUST MORPH INTO SOMETHING ELSE? DO WE EVER GET "BETTER"? I DONT KNOW!! IT JUST AMAZES ME HOW CUNNING AND POWERFUL ADDICTION REALLY IS.

MY NAME IS SESSIONS24 AND YES I AM AN ADDICT!!

MY STORY IS THE SAME AS MOST. A YOUNG GIRL SAD, ALONE AND DEPRESSED. MY PARENTS WERE BOTH ADDICTS. I JUST THOUGHT I LIKED TO PARTY. I WILL MAKE IT SHORT AND SWEET.
14 YEARS OLD=ALCOHOLIC
16 YEARS OLD= EOTH+BUD+METH + PLUS ANYTHING TO CHANGED THE WAY I FELT
17YO=ON MY OWN. EVERYTHING MENTIONED ABOVE PLUS LSD
18YO= TRIED EVERYTHING AT LEAST ONCE. DID NOT SHOT UP YET!! I USED TO PRIDE MY SELF ON THAT!!
21YO=FULL FLEDGE METH ADDICT. HIT ROCK BOTTOM (EMOTIONALLY,SPIRITUALLY, PHYSICALLY AND WELL MENTALLY.)

WENT TO TREATMENT AND GOT CLEAN (SOBER) I REALLY WANTED IT. I WOULD GO TO 3-5 MEETINGS A WEEK AND DID THE FULL NINE WITH AA/NA FOR 8 YEARS.

LOVED MY LIFE. GOT A RELATIONSHIP WITH MY HIGHER POWER, MY DAUGHTER AND RESPECT FROM THE FAMILY I DESTROYED THROUGH THE YEARS OF ADDICTION. I BECAME A PROFESSIONAL MET A GREAT MAN AND HAD ANOTHER BABY AFTER 8 YEARS OF SOBRIETY.

I THOUGHT LIFE JUST COULD NOT GET BETTER THAN THIS. THE HUSBAND, HOUSE, CARS, AND MONEY. THEN I GOT A NICE CURVE BALL 2/28/07. I HAD MY BEAUTIFUL SON BY C-SECTION.

I TOLD MY DOC THAT I DID NOT WANT ANY KIND OF ADDICTIVE DRUG DUE TO MY HISTORY . MY DOC SAID " NOT A PROBLEM I WILL GIVE YOU THE MEDICATION ( ULTRAM) FOR POST C-SECTION SURGERY. SHE TOLD ME THAT IT IS NON-ADDICTIVE AND WOULD WORK JUST AS WELL AS LORTAB. WELL OF COURSE THAT SOUNDED GREAT. SHE TOLD ME THAT IT WAS ONE STEP ABOVE ADVIL 800MG. BULL SHIT!!! HERE I AM 2.5 YEARS LATER AND OUT OF ALL THE DRUGS I MENTIONED BEFORE NOTHING COMPARES TO THE WITHDRAWAL/ HELL I HAVE BEEN THROUGH WITH ULTRAM AKA( TRAMADOL). THE SAD THING I DID NOT REALIZE HOW ADDICTED I WAS UNTIL THE PAIN STOPPED AND I TRIED TO STOP TAKING THEM. I CAN NOT EVEN DESCRIBE THE HORROR I WENT THROUGH AND HOW SCARED I WAS TO STOP TAKING THEM BECAUSE OF THE WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS ( TEARING, RUNNING NOSE, NIGHT SWEATS, LEG TWITCHING, YAWNING, NAUSEA, CRAMPING, REST LEG SYNDROME, I COULD GO ON. THIS WAS WORSE THAN THE TIME I WITHDREW LORTAB+XANAX !! AS I MENTIONED THERE WAS NOT MUCH I DID NOT TRY SO I THINK YOU KNOW WHAT IM SAYING. DUE TO MY STATURE IN THE COMMUNITY I LIVE IN, I COULD NOT TALK ABOUT IT WITH ANYONE.I WOULD TRY AND WOULD GET WEIRD LOOKS AND COMMENTS LIKE( ITS NON-ADDCTIVE, ITS NOT A NARCOTIC AND SO ON). I GAVE UP TRYING TO TALK TO PEOPLE. I STARTED TO THINK SOMETHING WAS WRONG WITH ME. MY HUSBAND WOULD SAY JUST STOP TAKING THEM. YEAH!! SOUND FREAKING GREAT. I WOULD TRY AND THE SICKNESS WOULD EAT ME ALIVE. IT WAS TO EASY TO TAKE ONE AND FEEL ALL BETTER.TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE, I WAS THE DIRECTOR OF THE ONLY CHEMICAL DEPENDANCY IN TOWN. I KNEW EVERYONE IN THIS LINE OF WORK. I WAS SO ASHAMED AND MAD AT MYSELF. HOW COULD I LET THIS HAPPEN TO MYSELF. I FELT LIKE I SHOULD OF KNOWN BETTER. BUT I AM NOT PERFECT AND HAVE LEARNED ALOT ABOUT MYSELF.

I GOT TIRED OF BEING SCARED TO WITHDRAW AND WENT AND GOT HELP.
IM ON THE LOWEST DOSE 2/0.5MG AND FEEL GREAT. NO WITHDRAWAL S/S.
THE ONLY THING IS THE RINGING IN THE EARS AND HEADACHES, BUT THATS OK. I WOULD TRADE HEADACHES FOR THE OTHER S/S ANYDAY. MY DOC IS GOING TO WEAN MY OFF OVER A 6 WEEK PERIOD. GOD BLESS SUBOXONE. I HAVE MY LIFE AND DIGNITY BACK. MY DOC TOLD ME HE SEES THIS ALOT AND WISHES THEY WOULD GIVE BETTER WARNING WITH ULTRAM. THATS OK IM JUST GLAD I DONT HAVE TO LIVE IN FEAR ANY-LONGER.HOW GREAT IT WAS TO MAKE THE DECISION TO STOP. CALL MY DOC, MY DOC REFERRED ME TO ANOTHER DOC AND I GOT TREATMENT IN THE PRIVACY OF A DOCTORS OFFICE. I BROKE DOWN IN THERE WITH MY DOC BECAUSE I HELD IN THIS SECRET FOR OVER 2 YEARS AND I FINALLY GOT TO SAY "IM ADDICTED TO ULTRAM AND I NEED HELP". THE WORDS I DREADED TO SAY ALOUD TO ANOTHER FOR A LONG TIME. A WEIGHT HAS BEEN LIFTED FROM MY SHOULDERS AND I NOW CAN LIVE AGAIN "FREE". THATS MY STORY AND IM STICKING TO IT.
IM 30 YEARS OLD, A MOTHER, WIFE, AND PROFESSIONAL.

IF YOU ARE READING THIS AND CAN RELATE GO GET HELP. ITS NEVER TO LATE "GET HELP".
THANKS FOR LISTENING :? :? :?


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 13, 2009 8:22 am 
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Joined: Tue Dec 30, 2008 8:48 pm
Posts: 415
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Sessions-
Welcome to the site.It is very unfortunate that Ultram is not given without more warnings of abuse or addiction potential.
This warning is on drugs.com:
Quote:
What is the most important information I should know about Ultram?
You should not take Ultram if you have ever been addicted to drugs or alcohol.

I have gone to doctors who told me it was non addictive also only to fall into the trap myself. At one point I was eating 30-40 a day, so I would have to say it is not safe for recovering people. When I was in IOP treatment, we had a guy there who was on Suboxone for Ultram addiction- so I just wanted you to know you are not alone, and I do relate to your story. I am glad you were able to receive treatment for this dreadful dependency.
Are you involved in any support groups or counseling? While it may not seem warranted under your circumstances, it is highly beneficial to your treatment to get involved in peer support of some kind.Coming here is a great start.
If you need any help, jut ask one of us moderators or Dr.Junig. Take Care.

_________________
"It is never too late to be what you might have been!" - George Eliot


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 08, 2009 1:21 am 
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Yes-- thank you for sharing your story. I encourage you and all people with addiction who are doing the right thing-- meaning taking the steps that truly work for you, to keep you from active addiction-- to open your mind to a new way of understanding your addiction. I remember those days of looking at my self in the mirror and cussing at myself-- you ADDICT, I would hiss-- truly hating myself for who/what I had become. Now whenever I meet a new addict in my practice or elsewhere, I am always surprised how their story 'fits'. More often than not, combining the genetics, access, social stressors, and other factors that lead to addiction I am usually amazed not that the person because addicted-- but that the person found something inside that was ready to leave active using behind.

Ultram is horrible; you get the mu opiate withdrawal, and also the horrible withdrawal from norepinephrine reuptake, that causes 'brain zaps'... nasty stuff. If you did make a mistake and got by these drugs, good for you for moving on now and doing the right thing. You have certainly been punished more than enough, so let yourself feel the pride in what you have accomplished.

Take care,

JJ

Take care, Everyone,

eff J


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Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

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