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PostPosted: Wed Jul 01, 2009 5:12 pm 
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I'm not feeling good. I dropped from 2mg to 1.5 and experiences pretty moderate physical w/d, but it wasn't/isn't unbearable. It's been about a week now. The hardest thing is that I'm in the dumps. I feel so sad and can't think of anything in the whole world that can make me happy. I'm not interested in anything and have no energy but still can't sleep well. I'm considering asking next time I see my doc about taking an antidepressant again. I've sufferred from depression on and off for my whole life, but I quit taking antidepressants, ironically (or maybe not ironically), while on Suboxone. I've done fine without them until now. I just know when you don't want to shower and can barely get up the motivation to bathe your kids that it may be time for an anitdepressant. I haven't been leaving my house much at all because it makes me feel so nervous and overwhelmed. I pretty much only leave to go to meetings, and thank God for Dual Recovery Anonymous meetings, because that's where all the normal people are hiding, and I get some relief from this tunnel thing. I was shocked when I went to my regular doctor the other day and found I'd lost 7 lbs since starting to get off the Sub. I've been trying to lose that last 10 lbs of baby weight for 1.5 years! I guess that's cool because it leaves me only 3 lbs to be done losing my 'baby' weight, but I wasn't all that thrilled about it. I've just been forgetting to eat/drink water and brush my teeth and all the rest of it. So, I'm thinking maybe I should stay at 1.5 mg a little while longer. This too shall pass. It always does, right??


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 1:05 pm 
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Oh, god, I'm so sorry you're feeling depressed. I've really struggled with that through my whole life. I also went off antidepressants while on Suboxone but ended up having to go back on them after a while. It sucks. There's just really nothing good to say about the tunnel.

I know (believe me I know) that you don't feel like doing anything. Hopefully the antidepressants will help with that. I have to really force myself to do something every day - work in my garden, take a walk, take my daughter to the park - anything to get me out of the house and away from the tv/computer/books. Usually I have to go through some sort of serious resistance & anxiety on my way out of the house, but once I get going I feel so much better.

Depression is so hard because you need your strength of mind to force yourself to do the things you need to do to take care of yourself - but it's your mind that's trying to defeat those efforts. It's awful. I"m glad you're aware of it and are seeking help. Please let me know if I can help in any way.

And yes, it does pass.

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You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 3:18 pm 
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I am feeling your pain laddertipper. I'm in the middle of the tunnl as we speak. I've been on suboxone more or less since dec. Most of that time was fine and wonderful until the last month or so. My job started to fizzle out and i got so down. Like you mentioned I don't even have the desire to bathe. I have joked that my laziness has become an affliction instead of it's usual annoyance. I'm in the processs of being seen by a counselor for the deppresssion but that's almost a joke. Maybe it's the addict in me knowing that ppl are staying up at night making pills that will make me feel better, but no I have to wait a month for my next appoinment to see who wants me so to speak thn mayb after that I might get some antidpressants. Anyway I agree with you that this to shall pass. It always seems to in the past but in the past I usually just got high to deal with and it magically went away.


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 9:35 pm 
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Getting back on a low dose of anti depressant probably would be a smart thing right now.Why should you feel so down in the dumps while doing something positive? Hang in there, and take care of your needs.There is nothing wrong with not wanting to feel sad!

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