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PostPosted: Sun Jul 12, 2015 6:29 pm 
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I've posted here before, I started sub again after getting out of rehab (like a total idiot) and quickly got hooked on a high dose. I got down to 16mg at one point, got the flu really bad, and started back up with dosage again. Anyway, I'm just so tired of being on this and feel trapped, scared, disillusioned, feeling like life is not worth living, my schedule revolves around this stupid medication, etc. On top of it all, my hair is falling out rapidly due to the high dosage. I know I am to blame for the mess I am in so please no lectures.

I've read and been told I should be able to cut to 18 mg immediately without any or little side effects. I've tried over and over, and I have unbelievably crazy amount of anxiety, panic attacks, headaches, diarrhea so bad I literally crapped my bed. But the worst, worst part is I get really shaky, and weak feeling. Some people said this is not normal so I had all my blood work checked and everything is fine. I can't function with the weak and shakiness at work. So the week after next, I am taking an entire week off, which gives me nine days alone to cut my dose to 16mg. I am thinking if I get weak and shaky, I can keep going if I am at home. I am also taking the medicine too many times a day, which is just screwing me all up schedule wise.

So, from everything I've read, my plan is to do the following. Let me know what you think:

-Am, take 8 mg
-2pm, 4mg
-8pm, 4mg (so I can get some sleep)

My question is: do you think I can switch my dosing times and cut my dose down, and get thru the majority of the worst part while I am off work? Would 9 days be enough time to readjust to both? I am so desperate here. At least that would get me on my way to a taper. I have thought what is my way out of this mess? Going back to rehab wouldn't really get my thru it all anyway because you stay for detox and then insurance cuts you off for inpatient residential (at least my insurance does).

If I get weak and shaky, I won't take any more meds unless I got into full withdrawal symptoms.

Does this sound reasonable? I have to do SOMETHING. I can't keep going on like this. Thanks in advance for any advice.


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 12, 2015 11:04 pm 
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Hello, I know how you are feeling! I started subs last August at 24mgs. I am now on day 2 of 8 mgs...4 mgs in the am and 4 mgs in the evening. I find myself going for the suboxone whenever I feel a little pain or a little blah! I really want to be completely free of suboxone but I know it is going to take a while! Good luck to you! You can do it!


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 12, 2015 11:53 pm 
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Hey steph, you are taking the first, biggest step just by taking the time to put your plan into words and ask for help. If you are on a +20mg dose right now I believe you should be able to come down quite a bit w/o terrible problems. From my personal experience in my early stages of dropping down doses (I was on Sub for 7 years, starting at 16mg, and have been off Sub completely for almost two months now) I noticed that what I originally thought was withdrawal was actually more in the realm of habitual expectation and fear, i.e. I was expecting to feel horrible and I was making myself feel horrible b/c of expecting it. Plus my expectation of what feeling "normal" was, was actually not normal, it was expecting that I should feel really good. Even though Sub doesn't technically get you high, it does effect the brains release of "feel-good" chemicals like dopamine, and when you take it every day for a long time you begin to expect to feel at least pretty good every day. And if you don't you can always look forward to your next dose, right?

I was scared to death of dropping my dose and that would put me in a panic before I ever even lowered the dosage. I looked forward to my multiple dosages, kind of like a reward system, and when I went from multiple dosages a day to a single dose I felt like something was terribly wrong, but it did pass.

If you have the ability to take time off and come down in dose, I think that may help, but be sure you don't become idle. Too much free time can sometimes make it worse, so find things to do, or at the very least get yourself a steady supply of Comedy movies (my forum buddy jjinda will attest to that!) Laughing got me through some bad days.

Lastly, think about what else you are putting into your body. Are you a smoker? Do you drink? What about caffeine? How's your diet, and do you exercise? It's amazing the things we don't think affect our addiction that can actually have a huge impact. I highly recommend getting some good cardio in daily, at least as much as you can without exhausting yourself, as well as trying to clean up you diet and and lifestyle if you feel like that is something you want to do. Create a body/mind that is healthy through and through and I believe it will give you the extra power needed to be free of Suboxone.

I hope that wasn't "preachy." I really just wanted to share my experience with you in hopes that it would let you know I'm right there with you, I feel like I understand where your head is at, and I want and hope that you can achieve what you are setting out to do! Keep us posted!

_________________
"If you're tired of starting over, stop giving up. Don't let your dreams be dreams. Just do it!"


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 13, 2015 12:20 pm 
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Joined: Thu Feb 19, 2015 6:44 pm
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Everyone that posted above me has shared good advice with you.
My experience with dropping from a high dose is easily done.(Easy for me to say, right?) I could drop from above 16 or 20mgs to 8mgs with very little problem. You should shoot for 8mgs.(Set your goal a little high.) Physical symptoms will be minimal, but the mental symptoms is what gets you every time.
The habit is what you need to break. I stopped dosing first thing in the morning helped me a lot. You just have to keep your mind off of it. You have to look around and recognize what is triggering you to think about dosing.(Not every ache and pain is a WD or even associated with Suboxone.)
You could drop 4 or 8 mgs tomorrow and there would be no WD from that amount. Your receptors will still be full as they are today. It is really funny how Suboxone works. It's like no other drug. lol
4 mgs/day is when you start noticing a difference in how you feel on Subs. I have found that less is better.
Good luck
Happy


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 25, 2015 10:01 pm 
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Thanks for all the posts! So today was my first day to cut dose. I went from 20mg to 16mg. I have a family party tomorrow that I need to be okay for and it's always the anxiety that gets me first. (and I know from tapering before that it take a few days to catch up to you). But tomorrow I will probably cut to 12. My biggest driver to drop my dose if my hair is falling out, on my head, my eyebrows and even eyelashes. So the quicker I can cut my dose, the quicker I can stop that from happening. Then I just have to work at it until I am off completely, probably 6 months, because I still need to perform at my job and participate in life. I know it's going to take some time but I want to be free of this. To answer your question, I do NOT drink or take any illegal or other drugs. I am a recovering alcoholic and I remember when I was taking sub before that more heavy drinking days really affected how long the sub lasted (back then, I only took 2 mg every other day and it took me a while to get off back then) I can't even be on an anti-depressant because I have such bad interaction with the sub. And I really need to be on an anti-depressant.

I noticed that living in my own house again has helped me not feel the need to take my dose early to prevent any meltdowns in front of my family (I moved, bought a new house and was living with family while it was being renovated). I think stress and anxiety do play a big part. So I definitely need to decrease the number of times I dose per day. My body really reacts to not getting it's scheduled dose with a big SPIKE of anxiety that lasts for about an hour, but I noticed it passed today. So let's see how this goes.

Some days I feel the effort it hopeless. But I was able to go from 24 to 20 mgs recently so I know it can be done.

About six months ago, I was taking like 4 strips a day (just stupid; this is when I didn't understand how it all worked) and I cut to 1 1/2 strips and I ended up in bed for 3 days, sick with nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, massive weight loss and mind numbing anxiety. That's always in the back of my mind. But I know it won't be that bad this time. I've lost 40 pounds since being on sub because I don't compulsively overeat anymore. I know I will eventually gain weight back but I'm okay with that. I don't want to be a slave to this anymore. Even getting to a more manageable dose will be a huge win for me and I think it will help with my anxiety in the long term.


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