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PostPosted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 4:39 pm 
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So I have been tapering and it's been hard at times but it's not impossible. Each day I do feel better as my body is trying to adjust to my new daily dose. The problem I have run in to is that I usually always make my appointment for the following month and I totally forgot. I was down to 8 mgs and realized "Oh I don't have my appointment" So I called and OF COURSE my dr. cannot get me in for TEN days! That was two days ago and I have 4mgs. left which with what I was doing (2mg) a day.. I will not make it another 8 days with only 4mgs. left well.. atleast I don't see how this is possible because It's going to be a jump. I am calling tomorrow to see if there are cancellations but I don't have the kind of Dr. that will let me come in really quick because I'm without either.. Idk what to do.. I have been trying to stay positive but I have all of my kids (4) this next weekend and my appointment isn't until that monday.. I don't want to feel horrible while they are all with me.. I already have mass guilt over the way I've been short and I know that it will get worse because I JUST got adjusted to this dose! Anyone have any suggestions? I don't want to jump from here.. I wanted to step down, at least that was my plan. I'm not sure that I will have a choice though here in a few days unless I can make it on .50? I don't even know how to break that up. I'm really starting to feel "Defeated".. I don't want to go through w/d for a few days just to go right back on it that seems like I'm going backwards but I also don't want to feel terrible with so many big things coming up.. My son's birthday Thursday.. I'm so frustrated! I wish I would of gotten a dr. that actually gave a crap but she doesn't... Collects her money and talks for a second and than she's done. I hate that! Not trying to dr. bash just speaking the truth. If anyone has any ideas I would appreciate it. I have a feeling that I"m going to be going through hell this week and I must admit.. I'm scared to death!


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 4:59 pm 
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If I were you, I definitely call first thing in the morning, see if they'll take your name and number to call if there is a cancellation. how long have you been seeing your doctor for??
l mean do you feel like you have a good relationship????

for me, Id go down and sit in the waiting room until he had time to see me, but I get along really well with my doctor. I always call for my refill every 28 days anyways, and see him every three months.

so Im just trying here.

Id keep on it, no matter what. I mean since your "due" they SHOULD be able to help you!!!

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anyone can give up,
its the easiest thing in the world to do, but to
hold it together, when everyone would understand if you fell apart
That's TRUE STRENGTH
http://almostoneyearclean.blogspot.com/


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 5:37 pm 
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if youre desperate and dont think you can get by, you can goto the doctors office and tell them you need to be seen and see if they can squeeze you in. Tell them its urgent. I dont know how that would work, but some doctors will see people if they know it's urgent and youre there showing them it is. I suppose it depends on the doctor. Be intelligent about it.


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 6:34 pm 
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I have been seeing her for a year and just to let you know what kind of Dr. she is.. I made an appointment for 4:30 and the only guy that works there that answers phone plus is some sort of med assistant. says to me that I have to be there by 4:15 or she will leave for the day! WHAT?! Unfourtanitly (sp) she is most likely only in this business for the cash.. I told her once that I was having W/D symptoms.. Ok now we all know that as Addicts WE KNOW what W/D symptoms are.. RLS, Nausea, headaches etc.. She says "No.. that's all in your head.. Not W/D" I was so angry but just went with it because she kicked my brother out of the program because he missed one appointment, had a fam. emergency. He called in she told him they would call him with another appointment and than he got a letter saying he was removed from the program.. I was seeing her at the time and had already spent the $ other wise I would of found someone new. I can honestly say that after this appointment I believe I will have enough subs to finish my taper and jump (I get 90 a month right now) . I am calling tomorrow and I will let them know that I'm struggling but I don't think she is going to fit me in.. Even if I go up there and wait.. it will be wasted time. There are only two people in the whole practice. I'm going to take it one hour at a time here but sometimes when your mind gets the best of you it's very hard to be positive. I'm sooo tired of this that I think when I do get the meds I won't go back up to the 2mgs. I will taper down a bit more to maybe 1.5 and see how it goes. The good things is that when I made the decision to clean up my act I bought a new phone and trashed all my old contacts. I have NO way to be able to relapse. I had to do it so I knew I wouldn't slip up. Thanks for all the support everyone!


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 Post subject: GOOD NEWS!!
PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 4:25 pm 
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Well I called this morning.. I hate to say it but I was already expecting the worst "I can't get you in" and didn't even really get excited so I wouldn't be let down.. Well there is a new person working there today (to my surprise of course) and this person actually went to the dr. and told her that I was already in W/D process and I GO TOMORROW MORNING! I didn't want to jump from 2mgs. I feel so much relief it's unreal just knowing that I can continue my regular dosing as usual and as I said in another post before my body has just started adjusting to it so maybe in a few days I will take a tiny decrease. I'm a whimp.. I can be strong when I need to be and I know that I want to be off and that's why I started my taper but I kinda wanna hop off if at all possible. I am looking for support groups and planned activities along the way. I know it can be done and I'm so ready to start "Really Living" again.. I am taking all precautions to an easy taper. After I get my meds tomorrow I will actually set my plan on a calendar and I will be realistic! I know that if life is super stressful that will not be the week I lower my dose to adjust. It may take a little longer but that's ok.. No rush here! Thanks everyone!


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 4:57 pm 
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Hello Seeking Freedom, and welcome to the forum! I am so glad to read that everything wroked out for the best for you. You sound so determined to do this the right way, and to move on to the next phase of your life. The kind of attitiude that you have, is going to help you tremendously. YOu are so positive, even when you were faced with the possibility of running out of your meds.

It's weird but I got a huge smile on my face when i read that you trashed your cell phone!!! Good for you! I have no doubt in my mind that you are going to be able to do whatever you set your mind to.

Good luck with your tapering, and please keep posting and let us all know how you are doing. I know I want to know how it all goes!

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"All great changes are preceded by chaos."
~Deepak Chopra


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 9:34 pm 
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Phew, that was a close one SeekingFreedom!! I read this post the other day, but I was gonna give you the exact same advice that Amber did, so I just left it alone. I'm glad you're getting your script filled tomorrow, what a relief!!

I understand your desire to be off of Suboxone, but if I may, I'd like to offer you this advice. Getting off of Suboxone and staying off of Suboxone (or other opiates) are two different things entirely. I got off Suboxone and made it 9.5 months before I used pain pills again. I quit those pain pills relatively quickly, but used again a month or so later, quit and used again, quit and used again. It wasn't until that fourth time that I really pulled my head out of my ass and started really pursuing my recovery.

I hope you look into some kind of true recovery. In my opinion, that gives you the best shot at long term sobriety.

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Be kind to yourself. Our character defects do NOT define who we are!


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