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PostPosted: Sun Oct 30, 2011 10:06 am 
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Joined: Sun Oct 30, 2011 9:46 am
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Greetings Everyone,

I just wanted to introduce myself. I am an "addict" I have always had an addictive personality, I guess I should of thought 2 before i put that oxycodone 30 mg up my nose. I have been this way for about 2 years. I guess I liked how it numbed pain, and also brought on that euphoric feeling that I never will get back. Thats what I always am searching for when I use.

I currently have been on the Suboxone matinence program for 3 weeks. I take 12 mgs a day. I have been doing good, I got into a routine; and let me tell you its so nice to know I have my suboxone (prescribed especially) instead of wondering how I am going to get high next, or get my next suboxone.

I am going to probably have a harder struggle then most. As my DH is an addict and refuses to get clean. He has enablers, and can get handed 15 and 30 mgs of oxycodone like its candy, for doing such everyday tasks for the lazy ones prescribed it. Want to mow my lawn heres 4. (Like that)

I cant beg him to get clean, because ultimatley it starts with the WANT to get clean. Its hampering our relationship. I feel good, and have my suboxone to take away urges. Then I see him suffering through a withdrawel (because he doesnt want to seem like an addict to me, or the rare case where he cant get a pill)

I have it tempting me when i see it being given to him, or just the fact knowing he is high. Its hard. I only can take it day by day. Im glad I found this forum. I hope it can be useful tool for me.

I just want to stay clean, and if i can surrond myself with people who know this then maybe it will help me. Even if it is an online forum. I thank you for taking the time to read this. :D


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 30, 2011 10:16 am 
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Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:55 pm
Posts: 4933
Location: Leesburg, FL
Hi Beth and welcome to the forum. Congrats on starting suboxone and entering remission. I'm glad to hear you're doing well on it so far. I am sorry, however, that you're struggling with your partner. I can only imagine how hard it's been for you to continue to be around that. But it sounds like you're doing well with it. I'm sure the suboxone is helping you with that - especially with the cravings. And with 12 mg dosing, even if you slipped, well, it'd be a big waste because the sub in your system would block the effects.

We're here for you, so post whenever you feel the need to talk or vent. Again, welcome to the forum. I hope you stick around.

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-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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