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PostPosted: Mon Sep 26, 2011 6:30 am 
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I AM TAKING SUB 16 MG,--8 MG TWICE A DAY. I HAVE BEEN ON IT 1YEAR WITH ONE DOC. AND 6 MO. WITH THE PRESENT DOC.... AFTER MANY YEARS OF ADDICTION TO HYDROCODONE. MY PROBLEM IS I STILL HAVE THE ADDICTIVE BEHAVIOR. I AM NOT CHEATING OR ANYTHING AND TAKING MY SUB. CORRECTLY...BUT DOC. J SAYS WE HAVE TO ALSO WORK ON OURSELVES. I TAKE MY SUB THE MINUTE I GET UP AND I'M THINKING ABOUT IT TOO! ....AND I HAVE ALWAYS GOT MY MIND ON THE ONE MORE I GET TO TAKE IN THE AFTERNOONS, EVEN THOUGH I KNOW I COULD GET BY FINE WITH JUST 8MG. I WAS DOWN TO 8MG WITH THE FIRST DOC! I HAVE GONE TO AA (20 PLUS YEARS) AND QUIT GOING ABOUT A YEAR AGO...I WASN'T WORKING THE STEPS...JUST SHOWING UP....I LIVE IN A SMALL TOWN (4 RED LIGHTS!) AND HAD TO DRIVE 30 MILES TO THE MEETING....I JUST GOT TIRED OF DRIVING.. I'M ALSO A LONER...I LIKE TO STAY AT HOME....MY HUSBAND WILL WANT TO GO SOMEWHERE FOR THE DAY AND ASK ME TO GO AND I'LL SAY NO BECAUSE I HAD RATHER STAY AT HOME. IS ANYONE ELSE LIKE THIS? I HAVE ALSO BECOME LAZY AND I DON'T DO ANYTHING BUT GET THE HOUSE PICKED UP AND COOK DINNER FOR MY HUSBAND. I HAVE A HOUSEKEEPER THAT COMES WEEKLY AND DEEP CLEANS SO I REALLY DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING. I KNOW I NEED TO GET OUT MORE AND BE WITH PEOPLE AND DO THINGS. I DID JOIN A ZUMBA CLASS AND I LOVE IT...TRY TO GO AT LEAST 3XWEEK... MY CHILDREN ARE GROWN AND GONE...I DO HAVE 4 GRANDCHILDREN AND BABYSIT THEM SOME..THE SMALLER ONES AGES 3 AND 10MOS. ABSOLUTELY WEAR ME OUT! I AM RETIRED AND DO NOT MISS MY JOB EVEN THOUGH IT WAS A GOOD ONE..I WAS SCHOOL NURSE HERE TO ALL 3 OF OUR SCHOOLS. I WAS AROUND KIDS, TEACHERS, PARENTS AND PEOPLE ALL THE TIME AND HAD A GOOD PERSONALITY AND I THINK I WAS WELL LIKED AND HAVE LOTS OF FRIENDS..BUT MOST OF THEM ARE STILL WORKING AND I JUST DON'T HAVE A "BEST FRIEND" I CAN TALK TO OR DO THINGS WITH. SO I HAVE TURNED INTO THIS RECLUSE. I HAVE SEEN A PSYCH. BUT I JUST DID'T FEEL IT HELPED THAT MUCH. I ALSO CANNOT SLEEP AND TAKE KLOPN. AND SERAQUEL TO SLEEP. MY HUSBAND KEEPS ALL MY MEDICINES LOCKED UP AND HANDS THEM OUT...IF NOT I WOULD TAKE THE WHOLE MONTHS KLONP. IN 1 WEEK! I GUESS WHAT I AM TRYING TO SAY IS I AM NOT MAKING PROGRESS ON MY BEHAVIOR. THE SUB WORKS GREAT AND I DON'T CRAVE HYDOS ANYMORE WHICH IS A MIRACLE FOR ME....BUT IN EVERY OTHER WAY I'M STILL THE SAME OLD ADDICT. IF ANYONE CAN RELATE OR HAS SOME ANSWERS I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR THEM....THANKS JUDY


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 26, 2011 9:20 am 
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Hi slipper. Have you ever considered getting an addiction counselor? That might be the very thing that you need to help you with these behaviors/habits. In my opinion, that's exactly what they are - HABITS that haven't been extinguished.

Also, do you take sub for pain? If not, you should be able to take your entire 16 mg dose in the am all at once and it should last you until the next morning. Suboxone and it's long half life allows us to dose only once per day so that we can extinguish that habit of taking something when we feel we "need" to pop a pill. THAT is one of the main behaviors that we need to get rid of and dosing once per day will help us do that.

And do check out some addiction counselors - I really believe that can help you greatly!

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 26, 2011 10:25 am 
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Hi Judy,

Your post reminded me so much of me, except the husband part.....I'm a guy....I have a wife!! :D

For real though, a lot of what you said applies to me too. While I was on Suboxone, I didn't worry too much about those behaviors though, because I figured Suboxone was protecting me from using drugs and I didn't care too much about those left over addict behaviors. Since I've been off Suboxone, I've really been trying to correct some of those behaviors because #1--those behaviors push me towards relapse's and #2--I just plain don't like those addict behaviors.

When I first started going to NA and started opening my eyes to the different addict behaviors I was exhibiting, I tried working on all of those behaviors all at once and quickly got overwhlemed. I finally backed up and started trying to focus on one or two things at a time. I am having to practice, practice, practice at establishing new behaviors and get those new behaviors to be my norm.

I basically turned into a recluse too. I go to work everyday, but after work, it was all me time. I just wanted to be left alone. For a good while now, I've been forcing myself to get more active, to get more involved with life and it's really helping a lot. It's still not "second nature" to me, but I feel like I'm past the half way point on fighting the reclusive behavior and it honestly feels good to be getting out and involved with life again.

The next one I'm gonna tackle is gonna be my obsessive tendencies. A boat load of people have suggested meditation to help with that one, so I'm gonna give it a shot. I'll let ya know how it works out.

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 26, 2011 11:12 am 
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Judy, I can totally relate, too. Most of the time I was on Sub I still had addict behaviors like taking a little extra piece when I felt stressed. I also do the recluse thing quite a bit, too. Now that my kids are in school I've been looking for steady work, but I've only been able to get part time at this point , and I do spend a lot of time isolating. One thing that has helped me quite a bit is doing volunteer work. Yes, it is a pain in the ass sometimes, but it gives me commitments that I have to show up for, and once I get out there with other people I always end up feeling better.
Also, I had to finally suck it up and stick to once a day dosing. I just think it's really important to break the cycle of "taking something". I bet you could just skip your 2nd dose altogether and you would sleep much better at night. Believe me, I know this is difficult stuff, especially when you're not working. The Zumba is a good start. Try to get more scheduled commitments onto your calendar. There are tons of places that could use your help, especially with you being a nurse.
Try not to be too hard on yourself, I think a lot of us addicts have been through this. The counseling is a good idea, too. Hang in there and keep talking to us.
Lilly


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 26, 2011 3:11 pm 
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Glad you posted because I see alot of that in me!!! i am or was avery outgoing person Loved life Loved people and I could talk to a pole Really!!! Not anymore

I really need help doing better with all the same things your having trouble with because now I'm just so depressed "(

I used to hate that word and now i look in the mirror and see exactly that person looking back at me.

Sad, no ambition and it is hard to get out when you don't have to.

So glad to know i'm not alone and it is really time to get back in the game of life!!!!!

13 days on suboxone and learning to like me again

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 26, 2011 9:09 pm 
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hatmaker510 wrote:
Hi slipper. Have you ever considered getting an addiction counselor? That might be the very thing that you need to help you with these behaviors/habits. In my opinion, that's exactly what they are - HABITS that haven't been extinguished.

Also, do you take sub for pain? If not, you should be able to take your entire 16 mg dose in the am all at once and it should last you until the next morning. Suboxone and it's long half life allows us to dose only once per day so that we can extinguish that habit of taking something when we feel we "need" to pop a pill. THAT is one of the main behaviors that we need to get rid of and dosing once per day will help us do that.

And do check out some addiction counselors - I really believe that can help you greatly!


TO HATMAKER:

I HAD NOT THOUGHT OF AN ADDICTION COUNSELOR..THAT IS A GOOD IDEA AND I WILL LOOK INTO IT. I DO NEED TO BREAK THESE "HABITS" LIKE POPPING ANOTHER PILL IN THE PM..THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR RESPONDING...JUDY


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 26, 2011 9:15 pm 
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meltalk wrote:


Glad you posted because I see alot of that in me!!! i am or was avery outgoing person Loved life Loved people and I could talk to a pole Really!!! Not anymore

I really need help doing better with all the same things your having trouble with because now I'm just so depressed "(

I used to hate that word and now i look in the mirror and see exactly that person looking back at me.

Sad, no ambition and it is hard to get out when you don't have to.

So glad to know i'm not alone and it is really time to get back in the game of life!!!!!

13 days on suboxone and learning to like me again



TO MELTALK:

GOSH I HEAR YOU..YOU SOUND JUST LIKE ME...I AM DEPRESSED TOO...I JUST DON'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING! WHEN YOU SAID SAD AND NO AMBITION THAT IS EXACTLY ME...AND I USED TO BE THIS LIVELY OUTGOING PERSON, FUNNY AND ALL OF THAT ....OF COURSE I WAS ON HYDROCODONE THEN TOO. BUT EVEN BEFORE I EVER BECAME ADDICTED TO DRUGS I WAS FULL OF LIFE AND HAPPY AND DID THINGS, ETC. THANKS FOR THE RESPONSE..JUDY


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 26, 2011 9:22 pm 
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Romeo wrote:
Hi Judy,

Your post reminded me so much of me, except the husband part.....I'm a guy....I have a wife!! :D

For real though, a lot of what you said applies to me too. While I was on Suboxone, I didn't worry too much about those behaviors though, because I figured Suboxone was protecting me from using drugs and I didn't care too much about those left over addict behaviors. Since I've been off Suboxone, I've really been trying to correct some of those behaviors because #1--those behaviors push me towards relapse's and #2--I just plain don't like those addict behaviors.

When I first started going to NA and started opening my eyes to the different addict behaviors I was exhibiting, I tried working on all of those behaviors all at once and quickly got overwhlemed. I finally backed up and started trying to focus on one or two things at a time. I am having to practice, practice, practice at establishing new behaviors and get those new behaviors to be my norm.

I basically turned into a recluse too. I go to work everyday, but after work, it was all me time. I just wanted to be left alone. For a good while now, I've been forcing myself to get more active, to get more involved with life and it's really helping a lot. It's still not "second nature" to me, but I feel like I'm past the half way point on fighting the reclusive behavior and it honestly feels good to be getting out and involved with life again.

The next one I'm gonna tackle is gonna be my obsessive tendencies. A boat load of people have suggested meditation to help with that one, so I'm gonna give it a shot. I'll let ya know how it works out.



TO ROMEO:

THAT IS WHAT SCARES ME ROMEO...I KNOW WITHOUT A DOUBT THAT IF I GOT OFF SUBOXONE I WOULD GO RIGHT BACK TO HYDROCODONE...AT LEAST RIGHT NOW I WOULD...THAT IS WHY I MUST WORK ON MYSELF...I DON'T KNOW IF I WILL EVER BE ABLE TO GET OFF OF IT (SUB) BUT IF I CAN'T FIX ME I WILL STAY ON A 4MG. MAINT. DOSE BECAUSE I WILL NEVER GO BACK TO THE LIFE I HAD BEFORE! THANKS FOR THE POST, ROMEO


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 26, 2011 9:32 pm 
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Lillyval wrote:
Judy, I can totally relate, too. Most of the time I was on Sub I still had addict behaviors like taking a little extra piece when I felt stressed. I also do the recluse thing quite a bit, too. Now that my kids are in school I've been looking for steady work, but I've only been able to get part time at this point , and I do spend a lot of time isolating. One thing that has helped me quite a bit is doing volunteer work. Yes, it is a pain in the ass sometimes, but it gives me commitments that I have to show up for, and once I get out there with other people I always end up feeling better.
Also, I had to finally suck it up and stick to once a day dosing. I just think it's really important to break the cycle of "taking something". I bet you could just skip your 2nd dose altogether and you would sleep much better at night. Believe me, I know this is difficult stuff, especially when you're not working. The Zumba is a good start. Try to get more scheduled commitments onto your calendar. There are tons of places that could use your help, especially with you being a nurse.
Try not to be too hard on yourself, I think a lot of us addicts have been through this. The counseling is a good idea, too. Hang in there and keep talking to us.
Lilly


TO LILLYVAL:

I AM SO SORRY YOU ARE HAVING TROUBLE GETTING A FULL TIME JOB..HOPE SOMETHING WILL COME UP..YOU ARE SO RIGHT ABOUT THE SINGLE DOSING...I TAKE SUB. FOR ADDICTION ONLY..NO PAIN AND I AM GOING TO TRY MY BEST TO START DOSING ONCE A DAY AND ALSO REDUCING DOWN TO THE 8 MG. OH, AND I FORGOT TO MENTION I DO ONE VOLUNTEER THING...IT IS CALLED MEALS ON WHEELS AND WE TAKE MEALS TO OLDER PEOPLE WHO CAN'T COOK OR DRIVE. I DO IT EVERY TUESDAY AND SURPRISINGLY HAVE STAYED WITH IT. BUT RIGHT NOW THAT AND ZUMBA IS PRETTY MUCH IT. I EVEN LOOK FORWARD TO THE DAYS WHEN I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING SCHELDULED! IS THAT CRAZY OR WHAT?? THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR RESPONSE...........JUDY


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