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PostPosted: Tue Mar 26, 2013 12:17 pm 
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Hey everyone Im Bella. I just found this site cuz im trying to find the best advise. Iv been on the methadone clinic for 5years now after a 10 years of hell with heroin. Im at 27mgs and at a breaking point with not only the ppl at the clinic itself (staff) and my taper. Iv went from 115mgs to 17 with no problem (breaks here and there to adjust) then they messed up my takes homes and gave me 47mgs instead of 17mg. I realized the 3rd day of feeling like shit. So major major set back on their behalf. Anyways im back down to 27 and really want out. I keep seeing that the transition is a nightmare. Im a single mom with a 4yr old little monster lol,,, hes my life. My mom is willing to take him from monday witch will be my first day with nothing until friday morning so I can do this with out affecting him. I know methadone has the after life,,long lasting opiate. I also know that suboxone is an opiate. My concerns are this.. is the time i have away from my son long enough to get adjusted? will i be puking my brains out while on the hopper? Will i turn into a bug with major anxiety and climb the walls? Ugh,,im scared to death how bad is this really gonna be? I see some ppl who waited the 72hr mark and it still back fired on them. I know everyone is different but hearing other stories will definitely give me some idea of what i should expect. As you see im already bugging out about it and im starting to think its not worth it. I need to be on my game by the time my son comes home. Even if i feel a little bit crappy i can handle that. But if im not able to take care of him or function I wont be able to do this. I want so bad to look like me again,,,feel like me again with out this fog, have my energy back and away from that hell of the place! Any advise,, any story will help! sorry im babbling but scared shitless! lol


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 26, 2013 12:46 pm 
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Hey Bella, welcome!

I wish I had all the answers for you, I've been on Subs for 5+ years. One of my recreational drugs was methadone but I had tons more as well. What I can tell you, you have come to the right place. The people on this forum are so knowledgeable and understanding to boot. :D It sounds like you have 3 of the most powerful motivators already..1) your determination 2) your son and 3) your mom.

You become what you think, believe in yourself. Good luck and keep us posted!

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 26, 2013 1:02 pm 
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Hi Bella,

How you'll react to the transition greatly depends on how long you wait to take that first sub dose. The closer you can get to 48 hours, the better. I didn't wait long enough and was pretty ill. I was not puking, but I did experience everything else under the sun. My precipitated withdrawal only lasted that day... the days to follow I was weak, lethargic and nauseous. It eventually passed, however, and I did it. I made it through. I'm hoping you will have a better experience and hold out longer.


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 26, 2013 3:54 pm 
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Hi Bella,

Welcome! Just a quick question, do you have an appointment with a sub doctor during the week your son will be gone? When is it? What has your doctor told you to expect and how long to be abstaining before the appointment?

I have never been on methadone but I know there are several here who have. I just thought a little clarification might help those who know about this to help you.

Good luck with your switch.


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 27, 2013 3:26 pm 
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Hi Bella, I really admire your desire to get off methadone without it impacting your son. I don't have any experience in this area, but I want you to know you're being a good mom to your boy.

Good luck with quitting!

Amy

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 Post subject: Thanks guys
PostPosted: Thu Mar 28, 2013 12:42 pm 
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Thanks for all the support! I feel like Im backing out because Im just not sure if I have enough time away from my son to be able to do this. I had my Dr's appointment for intake on Monday and she well i hate to say it this way SUCKS! She told me that she does not treat her patients as case to case basis! As in a person who has a history of taking perk 30s for a year and a person who was a hard core heroin addict for 10years and on methadone for 5 will all be treated the same. The most she will perscribe me is 8mg a day! and that will be on a as needed basis! She starts on 2mgs a day for the first week and weekly if I need it she will up my dose. The most I will ever get is 8mgs a day! Now from my history thats just not gonna cut it! Not the first week thats for sure. I walked out of there in tears and she's telling me I gotta relax! I have to put myself before my son,,,LADY COME ON! So I kept the appointment anyways. Im supposed to take my last dose on Sunday and go back to get my first dose on wednesday at 11am. that will be 72hours! Dont get me wrong some one i know has more then enough saboxones to get me leveled out if thats the way I wanna do this but,,,its not! Then i got a call from my clinic saying I have to come in friday to sign my "evacuation plan" so the lady/dr from the saboxone clinic called them! So I told the clinic i was thinking of doing it but decided not to so Im in the clear with them still! This all and all had become more of a bad idea then good idea. My son is my first priority BOTTOM LINE! He is on the autism spectrum (PDD NOS very very high functioning) and he's 4yo I need to be on my toes and some with him. Hes my life and Im not gonna risk not being able to take care of him. Being away from him for the 5days will rock his lil system and mine as it is. Then having him come back and i cant take care of him as I always do is just not good for either one of us. So I think for now the best thing for me to do is wait :( i want off so bad. So bad Im crying while Im typing this. Im 30lbs over weight, I feel like Im living in a fog, my teeth are getting screwed up and the clinic i go to just blows! But again I have to do whats best for him and if I dont do whats best for me Im no good to him! I think its best for me to wait maybe get on a lower dose like 15 or under or just suck it up and come off! The plan was to get to 0mgs and not get on anything else,,just put all this behind me. Im just getting so sick of this! Ill definitely keep ya'll posted and again thanks so much for the support! Ill stick around! :)

Sincerely,
Bella


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 Post subject: one more thing
PostPosted: Thu Mar 28, 2013 12:51 pm 
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Oh and instead of sitting her crying about the way I look because of this crap Im just gonna get off my ass and do something about it. Get my hair done, my teeth fixed and complete the instanity work out plan! Im on a low enough dose that working out will actually work and not be pointless! I went to school to be a fitness instructer so being this much over weight does not sit well with me. Im gonna switch clinics get away from that zoo and start off fresh so I can at least do my taper in peace! I went in last week and got a drug test. I came up negative for methadone, posative for coke, heroin and oxy's! I havent done any drugs what so ever since 2008. I had to go get blood work done to prove that their testing is WRONG WRONG WRONG! thats just a little example of what im dealing with in this place! I know,,,insane! thanks guys!


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 28, 2013 10:12 pm 
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Hi Bellajm81-
I just wanted to post about your possible transition to suboxone from methadone because I did it and it actually worked out pretty well for me. I was on 40 mgs of methadone per day for almost two years. Before I started suboxone, i took my last dose of methadone on a Thursday and my first dose of suboxone on a monday morning - so I went 3 full days with nothing. to be honest, it wasn't too terrible. the first day wasn't bad at all, and the second and third weren't great or anything, but they weren't awful. Now it definitely takes a little time to get adjusted to the suboxone, but for me, after i took the first dose, I definitely felt better. I wasn't 100% or anything, but i was able to go to work and everything. After about a week, everything was fine.
I know you are worried about only getting 8 mg's but that might just work out fine for you. My doctor did prescribe me 16 mg's to start, but i realized after about a week that I only needed 8 mgs or less. And remember, I was on a higher dose of methadone than you.
I realize that everyone is different and we all respond differently to different drugs, but for me I am so happy that I made the transition to suboxone. After I got off the methadone, I lost about 30 lbs, had more energy and felt so much better. Plus, its really nice to not have to go to the clinic everyday. Some people, however, do better on methadone... its definitely and individualized thing.
I think its great that you are putting your son first. I just had a little girl (she's 4 months) and I totally understand how much your child means to you. And its certainly very important that you prepare for how this could affect your being able to take care of him. But I just wanted to let you know my experience and offer you some encouragement should you decide to make the transition. You will be supported no matter what you choose to do, but I found that I was able to make the transition from methadone to suboxone in a matter of 4-5 days. As i mentioned earlier, i took my last dose of methadone on a thursday morning and was back to work the following tuesday. Best of luck to you and keep us posted.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 29, 2013 11:42 am 
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Bella, welcome to the forum. When I read your post and you mentioned your son has pdd-nos I can totally relate. My son is five and also has pdd-nos, it's definitely a daily struggle. Somehow they can detect the slightest change, so if you have anyone that he is comfortable being with that can help you during this transition, take them up on some help. I'm sure you will do great. You are a great mom just by getting yourself better.

Please keep us all posted and feel free to pm me if you need.

Jessie


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 Post subject: hi bella,
PostPosted: Fri Mar 29, 2013 5:25 pm 
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My name is Queenie, I am the grandmother of the forum. I am 70 years old, a double amputee and I have 2 grandsons.

I don't know anything about methadone but I do know that I wish your doctor was a little nicer and more sympathetic of what you are going through. Keep your appointment and although I know it's hard try to find another doctor. I have been on subs 3 years & my doctor has kept my dose at 16mgs. 8 a.m. and 8 p.m. He treats me with sympathy, kindness and respect and I live in a big city where you wouldn't think there is time for that. I was hooked on opiates but never methodone.

I admire you for putting your son first. That is very admirable and God has to help you for having such a big heart. Try to hang in there & start your subs. If you don't feel better, call the doctor & insist that your voice be heard. You are not a criminal you have an illness like we all do here. We are trying to get better,

Good luck sweetheart & be strong. Don't give in.

Love you, Queenie


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