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 Post subject: My journey here
PostPosted: Sun Apr 01, 2018 12:28 pm 
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I have been on pain meds for 10 years due to a surgical error. This left me with a pancreas that is calsifing. So I have chronic pancreatitis. This is very painful, I also happen to crush two discs in my back.
I went on methadone and diladud (believe that’s Vicodin in the US) I started at 150 mgs of methadone plus 16 mgs of diladud for breakthrough. I was able to wean myself down to half the methadone over a yr.
I was fed up with the effects of methadone and diladud. My Dr said the suboxone was the best choice. So he said the magic number was 50mgs of methadone a day to start subs. I got to my 50mgs plus my diladud. He told me I had to be drug free for 3 days. So I went off all meds except my benzodiazepines and gaba and trazadone. After 3 days he felt I was ready. I went to take my first 2mg pill. Well within minutes my heart raced, by the time we got home about 15 minutes more my body started to “twitch”. I started running around the house in the worst pain ever and my body convulsioning. My husband called the dr and he told him what to give me to relax the withdrawals. I did have PW. I went back to the dr that day and we said left wait another.

Well for me it took 5 days to get to w/d. My next attempt at subs went much smoother. I am now on 10mgs. I wanted to stay at 8 but I was waking up with those minor withdrawal feelings. I’m now 31 days on subs. Well let me tell you, I have a life. Yes I don’t like eating is hard to do, yes I hate I’m tired at times but prior I slept 16 hours a day, now I’m awake and if I need a nap I allow it. I’ve never felt happier. I’ve lost some weight and went and got my hair done and I care how I look again.

I have spent time reading here a lot but felt ready to say hi and share a small amount of my story.. I want to offer my shoulder or hand to others starting out. It’s tough but you will see a new life in just a day or 2. I’m rebuilding my relationships and after 5 yrs of methadone use feel free for the first time. I’m in Canada and we are required to dose at the pharmacy each day for 8 weeks. This is costly as each dose after insurance is 5.00 plus gas and time to go get my dose but at least I’m able to live again. Plus soon I’ll get carries home and that keeps me going.

Thank you too all who shared their very personal journeys so far as it makes me see I made the right choice.


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 Post subject: Re: My journey here
PostPosted: Sun Apr 01, 2018 7:19 pm 
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Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2010 3:44 pm
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Hi Smootchie,

My name is Queenie. Wow! What a story. I could feelyour pain. You were so strong!

I am so happy that you found Suboxone and you found our home. I hope you feel welcome. We have a great bunch of people here, that are always willing to help and be a friend.

So, sit back, relax by the fire, have some cioffee or tea. I'm sure someone will be stopping by here & there. Please know that you have friends here.

My best to you. Stay strong.

Queenie


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 Post subject: Re: My journey here
PostPosted: Mon Apr 02, 2018 8:53 am 
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Welcome smoochie!

What a brave and determined journey! It’s usually a more difficult transition when switching from methadone to suboxone. U did it and sharing ur story here will help others, I have no doubt. We sometimes have ppl needing help with their transition.

Ur health issues sounds very painful and I’m sorry u have to deal with that each day. I hope suboxone helps with some of ur pain.

Hope u stick around smoochie!

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 Post subject: Re: My journey here
PostPosted: Mon Apr 02, 2018 12:13 pm 
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It's good to have you here, Smootchie!

Amy

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 Post subject: Re: My journey here
PostPosted: Tue Apr 10, 2018 12:13 pm 
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Thank you for the warm welcome. I think this is an amazing site. To see each other support each other is wonderful. My best friend made the choice to walk away from me during this time. She’s never been overly supportive but I am thinking is now threatened I will see her drug abuse and speak up. Though for myself I used methadone and diludid for what is was prescribed for there is a very fine line between dependency and addiction. I now see I do have addiction issues and am seeking help for them. But Suboxone is a life giver. It makes the world normal to you again.
Most say how did you do it? The answer was easy for me, I had too. I didn’t have choices left. I hated my life. Now I see what I can have if I try.

Please keep sharing your stories and wisdom as it sure does give hope.


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 Post subject: Re: My journey here
PostPosted: Wed Apr 11, 2018 11:47 am 
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It's awful that your friend has walked away and maybe she will come back to you some day, but this may be a blessing in disguise. Although it doesn't sound like you were hanging out with your friend and abusing drugs with her, one of the things you get with buprenorphine is a fresh start. A lot of us who need a fresh start need to step away from drug using friends. I'm not saying that you really had drug using friends, but maintaining a distance with your best friend might be in your best interest.

For those of us who have this genetic predisposition to feel amazing on opioids, our addiction can start out with dental work, a bad back, a sprained ankle. For me, I had a major surgery that required that I was on a week of oxycodone. I took my prescription as directed, and the pain was bad enough all week that all it did was eliminate a lot of pain... Until the last day I took them. On one of my last two percocet I didn't have much pain left and instead got this feeling of "ok, this is nice". I said to my mom, who had flown out to take care of me after the surgery, "Now I know why people get in trouble with these. I'm definitely not asking for a refill!" Back then I still had a good life. Back then my mom hadn't died yet. It was only after her sudden death and my dad's subsequent crappy behavior that I remembered that feeling of artificial wellbeing and wanted it back.

Didn't mean to go off on a tangent! Sorry! And welcome to the forum!

Amy

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 Post subject: Re: My journey here
PostPosted: Fri Apr 13, 2018 9:03 am 
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Thank you Amy.
My friend smoked a ton of pot and shatter. She was into stronger stuff but never around me. I don’t mind that she walked away. I wanted too do the same but fear or being alone stopped me. I know that’s selfish.
I saw the Dr yesterday and he said he couldn’t believe that someone like me who has bad nerve damage could find relief. I said simply it was time to see where the pain really was and where my mind made it.
This is now giving me back my 20 yr marriage. Now I need to look if that’s what I want still. I think my husband liked the other me more than he admits.

But again Amy thank you for reaching out to tell me your story. It always helps to know we’re not alone.
Have an awesome day all


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 Post subject: Re: My journey here
PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2018 11:03 pm 
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My husband said that exact same thing to me! I want my wife back, the woman I married. I told him a few days ago, here she comes, your wife is on her way back!

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