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 Post subject: New Topic Section!!
PostPosted: Sat Jan 20, 2018 1:19 am 
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Hello all! We decided to add this section so that folks who have been here for a while, and may not be posting here as regularly can check back in and give us updates on how they are doing in their recovery.

For example, I have been a member here since February of 2012 and originally started lurking here even before that. At first I had lots of questions and things that I wanted to comment on. Because I'm a moderator here, I still make many comments. However, I think that many members who are here for several weeks or several months get their questions answered and comments made and then seem to disappear!

While it's not uncommon that members sometimes fade away from being on the forum every day, we want them to know that we would like updates from them, even if they forget their password and have to join as a new member. (It's a lot more common than you would think! :D )

We realize that we have much to gain by members checking in every few months or even after a couple of years. It's interesting and valuable to read about the insights members have gained during their time on buprenorphine. We want to know where your recovery has taken you. What heights have you achieved and what struggles have you had since you last checked in?

Despite the fact that MAT (medication assisted treatment), has become more well known by the general public, there are still many misconceptions out there. By keeping in touch, we can help support each other in the face of continued ignorance. We can remind ourselves and others that we are not alone in our struggle to prevent relapse and that we deserve to be commended for our dedication to recovery.

I hope you will all consider leaving an update here, whether you are still on buprenorphine or not. We become curious when we haven't heard from formerly active members for a while.

Cheers and be well!

Amy

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 Post subject: Re: New Topic Section!!
PostPosted: Sat Jan 20, 2018 4:50 pm 
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Hello All, it has been quite a while since ive posted anything here. First let me say that starting a new thread like this is a great idea Amy. Im still a mod here,sorta. I have not acted like it these last few months I must say. I do look in every day though the app. Yes, the forum has slowed at an alarming rate. From what ive read from the other Mods it is a Google backpage issue. how this great place was bumped to 2nd page is beyond me too. As Amy has said we should be highlighted, not slowing... Maybe more posting will move us aloug. Ill say it here, I hope to post something everyday for awhile. ok, Well Jan 14th marked my 7th year of recovery. this means for me, no drugs, no drink, Suboxone only. I proud of it. After drinking and druging my entire adult life, ive now made it 7 years.Im 59 years of age. I spent over 3 years in the NA fellowship, on sub, in secret. As some of you know it blew up in my face one sunday night after a meeting. However I know for a fact had I not found others to help me, Sub alone would not have worked . So what is Recovery? To live a self directed life. To somehow forgive not only others but myself. This isnt easy to do. Ive worked on it daily. Getting out of our selfcentered way of life by helping others is a big key also. Just look around this forum, each member and MOD does this very thing here. I would guess that DR. JJ built this forum to do just that, to help and most importantly help himself too by reaching out. My professional work is going well, thank god. My wife and I are doing well and healthy. The dogs are great as well, all part of that Higher Power thing they all talk about. I get that many here never have done any 12 step work but let me tell you one thing that has stuck with me. The 2nd step. Coming to believe that a power greater that me can restore.. Some think iits a God thing, but it isnt, it could be but what it is for me are ALL the things in life that make me powerful. I use a basket. I put SUB, my wife, this forum, the mods, my work, my dogs, postive people in my life, most of all the two Bupe Groups of Recovery Ive chaired for 5 years. All these things in my life keep me clean man. My basket is full. Im lucky. So, this is a bit of me today, thanks for leting me ramble man. We will all keep up the good work here...... Razor59


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 Post subject: Re: New Topic Section!!
PostPosted: Sat Jan 20, 2018 11:51 pm 
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Thanks, both of you, for your work here. I don't understand how Google ranks things.... i've been frustrated over the years that this forum, with thousands of questions and answers, will rank below a forum or page that is just a promo for a treatment center. I've never had an SEO expert work on it, and maybe I should.

Do you think this topic should go here, or should it be at the top of the section?


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 Post subject: Re: New Topic Section!!
PostPosted: Sun Jan 21, 2018 10:43 am 
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Higher up? Perhaps under the induction heading? I hope this section gets a lot of responses. Best part of my day is when meeting someone after they have been on buprenorphine for awhile and they are telling me all the changes they are making.
PAX


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 Post subject: Re: New Topic Section!!
PostPosted: Sun Jan 21, 2018 1:11 pm 
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I agree! I think it should be visible.

Dr. Junig, I would like it if you could start a thread about your story. The bare basics and then links to your story. There are many people who never make it to your story. I would like it to be prominently available on the forum, so maybe make it a sticky?

Your story is both a cautionary tale and very inspiring. It shows that anyone can become addicted. And it demonstrates how easily relapse can occur. Plus it connects people to the reason you created this forum.

docm2, I would personally love to hear how you came to addiction medicine, what your process was, and any insights that you have. So if you could also start a thread that would be fantastic.

Amy

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 Post subject: Re: New Topic Section!!
PostPosted: Sun Jan 21, 2018 3:05 pm 
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Tis a dark and sordid tale.
I'll take a shot at it tomorrow after the rush of another Vikings victory has settled in.
PAX


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 Post subject: Re: New Topic Section!!
PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2018 12:07 am 
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Sorry docm2. It was not to be this year. So many disappointed fans.

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 Post subject: Re: New Topic Section!!
PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2018 10:46 am 
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41 years since the last Superbowl appearance. 80% of Minnesotans were not even alive in '77 so that percentage will continue to climb. Starting to understand what Cubs and Redsocks fans had been through.


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 Post subject: Re: New Topic Section!!
PostPosted: Tue Jan 23, 2018 3:11 am 
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I was rooting for the Vikings!! Sorry they didn't make it!

Amy

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 Post subject: Re: New Topic Section!!
PostPosted: Wed Jan 24, 2018 10:12 pm 
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Hi All, I came here in August of 2014. I was addicted to tramadol and it was no longer available for me to purchase on line. I had also heard that suboxone worked to help those with depression and pain. I had been experiencing some depression related to menopause and I had also had gastric bypass surgery. So pills became my goto. When I was first prescribed tramadol, I noticed it gave me a nice little lift. That was all I wanted. I had no desire to be high to the point where you can not drive or function. I just wanted to feel normal again! So, once I realized that the only way I was going to be able to get the amount of tramadol I needed was to order it from overseas, I decided to find a suboxone doctor. I met with her on a Friday and by Monday morning I was taking 16mg of suboxone with no problems. I joined here shortly after and learned that 16 mgs was a pretty high dose. I started to wean myself down with no thought or pressure to really land anywhere. As long as I did not have to experience the darkness of withdrawl I was good
I became a mod here shortly after that. I am a social worker with schooling in addiction. I can not begin to explain the guilt I had! I felt like such a hypocrite! It took me a long time to work on those feelings. I am a big fan of the twelve steps now! When I was 16 my borderline personality diagnosed mom decided she had a drinking problem and joined AA. She turned it into something so selfish and unrecognizable! At 16, I did not know that and just stayed away. As a social worker, I would recommend it to people all the time. I was working with people who had a serious mental illness and addiction. It was a resource that was easily available to them. I started running some dual recovery meetings and learned all about the twelve steps and how they were not what my mom had made them! I now use the steps and the philosophy in my everyday life. So here I am, four years later and down to 4mgs per day. I love my work, have an amazing husband, and two cats that we love! Life is good! Suboxone is a big part of that! I am sorry that I have not been here more frequently lately. First reason is that my hours at work and my position has changed. I do not have the down time that I did any more. Secondly, my phone is how I log on. I am still having some issues but I am here now! Of course, no one other than my husband knows about the suboxone. So I can't ask for help! Uggh! I do want to end with this. I thank Dr. J from the bottom of my heart for this forum! I have made great friends here, the support is beyond comparison! Thank you all!


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 Post subject: Re: New Topic Section!!
PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 2:56 am 
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I've also been away for a while but it's nice to see everyone again. Life got very demanding and I haven't had very much time for being on the internet. My daily role as the sole caregiver for my dad who is ill with Parkinson's Disease has been an emotional roller coaster. I feel like I'm having to take care of two people 100 percent of the time. And as anyone knows, that's simply impossible. I have continued to make my sobriety an essential priority in my life but a couple of weeks ago I nearly relapsed.

When I started treatment last year I had to let go of some long-standing relationships that were unhealthy and were no longer serving a positive purpose in my life. But there was one person that I've known since the mid 90's and although we don't see each other very often, I just couldn't end our friendship even though he has continued to use.

He called me out of the blue and was close to his personal "rock bottom". We all know that moment when we arrived there ourselves so I had compassion for him. His girlfriend broke up with him and kicked him out of their apartment. He had no where to go and had no money. My gut said not to get involved but I'm a loyal kind of friend and he was in dire need of someone who wasn't involved in his circle of friends (just a nice way of saying 'addicts').

I did what I could to help him access resources but there wasn't much I could do for him. Luckily he found a place to stay for a couple of weeks until he could get onto his feet. But I had a strong feeling that at some point in my dealings with him he was going to offer me some painkillers as a way to thank me... and that's exactly what happened. I took them into my hand and looked at them really hard for quite a while. The pull was intense and I experienced cravings like I haven't felt for at least 6 months. I wanted to take a few of them so bad.

I had to remind him of the decision I made last April (getting clean), and once we talked about it he felt really bad and respected my decision to give them back. In doing so I earned his respect and showed him that sobriety was POSSIBLE. And that felt good to me. But I've been feeling so overwhelmed and depressed. Even now I still think about the calming and comforting sensation I got from getting high. There's a part of me that still misses that. But I also know that feeling always comes with a price and I don't miss getting sick over and over. Withdrawals were very hard on me physically and emotionally in the past and I don't ever want to go through them again.

I thought I would just share that for now since my time is short. But I do want to say that it's not all bad. I've been making great strides in working on my coping behaviors and I can see a difference in myself from last year. My church offers several 14-week groups that focus on topics such as addictions, depression and anxiety, codependency and boundaries, grief and loss, etc. I just finished the one for recovery and made a few new friends in the process.

I'm very thankful for the stability that Suboxone has provided. I'm doing the work and making the changes that I need to make in order to live a happier and healthier life. It's not easy and I still get cravings from time to time, but I can handle it. That's something I couldn't do this time last year. I was a mess and near death. At least that's how it felt.

I'll try to stop by the forum more often. It helps to have people to talk to that can relate to what I'm dealing with. I want to be able to also help others that post here. Maybe someone could learn something from my experiences. See you guys soon.

- OpenMind

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 Post subject: Re: New Topic Section!!
PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 8:04 am 
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Hey OpenMind!

One thing I wanted to mention that might help u if u ever get tempted like u did the other day. I know u didn't mention what kind of opiates u were offered but honestly since ur taking and been taking suboxone for a good while now, u probably wouldn't have even gotten a buzz from them. That's another wonderful thing about suboxone, u can't do a whole lot of spontaneous using if ur steadily taking ur medication. I've never tried to use while on suboxone but I'd be willing to bet, unless it's something VERY strong, u wouldn't feel any high off regular opiates for a few days or heck maybe more.

I just thought that could make u feel a little more secure if u ever end up in that situation again (I truly hope u don't). I'm sure u already know that being around ppl who are regularly using puts us in a possibly tempting place. I'm sure it's easier said than done when it's someone u care about though, that can't be easy.

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 Post subject: Re: New Topic Section!!
PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 2:05 pm 
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Hello All!

I probably should have been more clear about what I was hoping for from this section. I DO want us to share stories of what is going on in our lives now and those who have posted here have done a wonderful job sharing. I love reading your stories!

What I was envisioning was that each person sharing their story would make a new topic in this section. That way people could respond to each story in a more organized way. I will make my own post in the next day or two and then I ask that you each follow suit by creating your own new topic when you tell your story.

Thanks so much,

Amy

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 Post subject: Re: New Topic Section!!
PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 2:08 pm 
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Openmind, you explained your situation so well. I think all of us have imagined ourselves in your place, being offered our drug of choice. I've even dreamed about it.

Congratulations on saying no!! I'm really proud of you!

Amy

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Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

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