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 Post subject: hi
PostPosted: Sat Jul 21, 2012 5:41 am 
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+1 day into the sublox routine and i barely have the energy to type
this hello. to all beloved fellow sufferers throughout the universe


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 21, 2012 6:22 am 
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Hello and welcome to the forum! Good luck on your road to recovery. Maybe when you are feeling better, you can tell us a little more about yourself. Until then, we are here to offer support and answer any questions you might have!

Hope you are feeling a little more energy here soon, and again, welcome!

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"All great changes are preceded by chaos."
~Deepak Chopra


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 21, 2012 1:07 pm 
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Hello suboxed-in

sorry your feeling crappy. I think if you stick it out, you WILL feel better.

I read a post of yours in a VERY old thread, but Im not sure what you meant here:

Suboxed-In

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I respectfully disagree with the notion of anyone being beyond self-detox. It's the only kind of detox that stands the recovering addict in good stead for prolonged & indeed life-long recovery, health, stasis, sanity....
Culture offers little or no help for overcoming unexamined repetitious behaviours...since it's in the business of promoting them ..

More accurate to say that truly empowered self-detox is beyond everyone except docs & other healthcare workers who have higher rates of access to pure substances and not surprisingly addiction & self-detox)
_________________
~ physician heal thyself ~


I know for me, at the end(about ten years of using), I felt like I was one w/d away from suicide. I had gone thru the w/d so many times, in so many varrying stages, I was just done. And the last few times, I was at such a "hopeless" point in my life, in every aspect, I just thought everyone would be better off without me.
So, I know they say that detox/withdrawl itself wont kill you, but by no means does that mean its "safe for everyone"

I do hope you feel relief soon.
hang in there

_________________
anyone can give up,
its the easiest thing in the world to do, but to
hold it together, when everyone would understand if you fell apart
That's TRUE STRENGTH
http://almostoneyearclean.blogspot.com/


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 21, 2012 7:59 pm 
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Amber & Kelly - hey

I'm called Jake. I've used opiates for 20 years off and on.
My first exposure to opiates came at age 15. after a podiatrist removed a painfully infected ingrown toenail under anaesthesia. it was a bloody mess but I was fascinated & watched him use what looked like heavy duty garden shears to cut all the way down to the root of the nail... Me mum couldn't watch but he'd numbed my toe up good & all I felt was the physical sensation or vibration up my body of the thwack when he did the deed.

afterward I was cleaned & bandaged gave me 6 samples of something...."take one when you get home, before the shot wears off" ... They were individually wrapped VICODIN ... I took 2 ... watching TV with my two sisters sitting on opposite ends of the couch Mum brought tea & before I finished it I realized that nothing had changed, same old bad TV show, nuclear family, father mother bickering, my siblings absorbed in the virtual reality on the tube. Except there was something: I was floating about 4 inches above the sofa in the lotus position.

It was a powerful imprint that I'd return to in college after trying everything from individual to group therapy, Prozac, Parnate, imipramine, Valium, Xanax. I saw the Doctors & Nurses at the student health ctr. and was finally ushered into
the inner sanctum of the psychiatrist. Long story short: he was clearly more uncomfortable in my presence than I was
in his. He consulted his bible (the one that he & the fellow high priests rewrite every 10 years or so) and put me on Lithium. Which zombified me until the doc saw me a week later and took me off...no word on whether he removed the diagnosisof manic depressive. 2 things i've never been are manic and depressive. Anxious, yes. Shy, certainly. I get laid less than Morrissey

but i digress... plus the bowels are starting to rumble & not even listening to Coldplay can fully damp it down.

About your question: when I can think more clearly I will try to summ it up, but essentially it comes down to something that I was led to my God's Great & most Mysterious Mercy. Basically She told me or rather showed me: God Helps Those Who Help ThemsElves And Their Fellow Elves (sometimes) ... sorry I know I cocked up the translation...but looking up the words in my King James Bible right now. No way ah'm ah guanny dae that !

Prior to induction the day b4 yesterday
I titrated my Physeptone (methadone) dose from 95mg to 40mg between Nov. of last year & the
end of June. I drank half a dose and tossed the rest less than a fortnight ago. Secure in the notion of my kit--
whose former contents of 20 oxycodone/APAP 10/650 tabs + NAC (N-acetylceistine) block the acetaminophen's
hepato-toxicity / 11 of the new OPANA ER 'hocket pucks' -- those fuckers reduced the working life of
my Osterizer with stainless steel blades...after 20 minutes on continuous 'grind' setting they were still 2/3 intact
white balls and the 'powder' looked & felt more like crayon and tasted like plastic / Cannabis (I should hav' put her first
since she's first in me heart) / L-Tyrosine, DL-phenylalanine / various benzodiazepines--I looked toward my appt. in 7
days without undue worry.

I took the last two OPANAs 24 hours before the appointment. And felt little effect, sleepless I took the last few
pills including an old anti-depressant called amitryptaline which I never took I hated it so much twas like bein hit
in the back of the head with a cricket bat....which is exactly the effect I wanted: to sleep as long as possible into the
next day before my evening appt.

And here I am. +2.3 days into the rest of my life. And already two lovely lasses as mates (friends ;o)


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 21, 2012 11:04 pm 
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HI Jake :wink:

glad your still fighting.
the methadone to suboxone transition, is tougher than the short acting opiates (opana as mentioned) from what I experienced and what Ive read, here on the forum.
For me, I was on like 160mg of methadone, I did sucessfully taper SOMEwhat, but hell, Im an addict. The week before the induction, I did fairly well, took less than 100mg every day. And 3 days before it was about 60, well you get the idea. My point is, even THREE months later, Id be at work and just start sweating terrible, soaking my tshirt, and everything!!
Asking my doctor about it, he said I could experience those symptoms for about a year. As time went on they got further and further between. I know that I would never be celebrating 15 months off all that shit (still on suboxone) if I never started suboxone therapy.
The longest 'stint' I had before the sub, was only a couple weeks. And I also learned, that I was always a 'substituter' you know, I did meth when I was 16 to around 18,,,, "quit" but then started pain pills FAIRLY fast.
side note, , , quiting meth/crank/coke was WAYYY easier for ME than opiates, thats for sure.

well, Ive rambled on for long enough!!! :lol:

glad to hear things are okay with you, it will get easier :wink:

_________________
anyone can give up,
its the easiest thing in the world to do, but to
hold it together, when everyone would understand if you fell apart
That's TRUE STRENGTH
http://almostoneyearclean.blogspot.com/


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 21, 2012 11:44 pm 
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cheers. and you didn't ramble on. that's my metier

<3

p.s. using stimulants also poses no problems for me - i could take it or leave it - but after 2 days of Subloxone i've never felt more tweaked ... like smoking the worst shite from the street ... plus my belly hurts. How much Pink Bismuth is it safe to take without O.D.ing?


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 22, 2012 6:34 am 
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Hello again! I don't really think that there is anything i can say, that amber didn't cover! LOL so I'll just say that I agree with her 100%. I have no experience as far as switching from methadone to sub, however I have read so much on it, that I feel like I have. Well you are correct in saying that you have made two "maties" (sp)! I gotta say, I don't know if what you are posting is intended to be funny, but I sense that you have a pretty healthy sense of humor, as I laughed a few times reading your posts. Humor is a great thing to have!

So, I hope this message finds you feeling better. Have a great day!

_________________
"All great changes are preceded by chaos."
~Deepak Chopra


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 Post subject: Music & Me
PostPosted: Sun Jul 22, 2012 11:12 am 
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Thanks.

I think I can post a link now so I'm gonna try: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3Y_sMLqIqE

Because playing music *LOUD has helped me more than anything else in the whole vast pharmakopeia - which i think comes from the Greek for poison.

Dedicated to Nathan Hale - Nate Dogg ... over 1 billion hooks sung RIP


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