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PostPosted: Mon May 02, 2011 7:43 pm 
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that's a 12.5% drop.....is there no way that you can drop by only 1 or 2%? If there is a problem determining how to do that maybe i can help


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PostPosted: Tue May 03, 2011 2:02 am 
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frankp1983 wrote:
that's a 12.5% drop.....is there no way that you can drop by only 1 or 2%? If there is a problem determining how to do that maybe i can help


I can maybe figure out how to cut them smaller. Dang these pieces are getting soooooo tiny!!! Don't tell anyone, but I'm working on inventing a Sub film cutter. Well, now the secret's out of the bag.

laddertipper

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 Post subject: I think I dropped
PostPosted: Mon May 30, 2011 12:13 pm 
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I think that maybe all that time at 1 mg did me some good. Sure, I never got totally comfortable. My legs continued to ache off and on and the sweats showed up regularly everyday. However, I was able to sleep, which makes all the difference. SO, I had kinda resigned myself to staying at 1 mg until I got a bee in my bonnet and wanted to push further. I was just so scared of what dropping further would bring. I've been taking Sub since 2005....quite a lot longer than most of you guys on here. For much of that time, I was on 32 mg.

Well, a bee flew in my bonnet a few days ago. So, I've done .75 the past three days, and to my tremendous surprise, it hasn't been all that bad! Yes, I have some weird smell in my nose, cold hands and feet, mild sweats, and my legs hurt on and off, but this is nothing compared to going from 1.25 to 1. The best part is that I am sleeping. Go figure! I am taking a half a .1 Clonidine at night, and I do think that's helping. It doesn't erase the symptoms, but it helps a lot. I wake up and realize I have the chill/sweat things, but then I go back to sleep. My legs haven't even gotten worse with this drop at all. I'm not boxing myself into .75 yet. I'm worried it will get bad suddenly, but unless that happens, I'm going to try to stick it out. One thing I've started to truly understand is the portion of tapering that is truly a mental game. I heard people say that, and I thought "what are they talking about? This is so physical!" It turns out a lot of this is mental. I worried myself half to death about dropping. What for? Either I can drop or I cannot because I don't want to deal with the symptoms. There's nothing to be scared of. I'm just going to do my best and that's it. If I cannot take it and need a little more one day, the world won't end. I've also been trying to not let these annoying little symptoms scare me like they have been. Why have I been so scared of my legs hurting or having sweats? Those things are irritating, but they are not scary. I can deal with them. Now, there is a point at which symptoms get scary, and I know that. That's why I'm tapering and not jumping.

So....I absolutely feel less stuck now. :D

I did go about this in my own way. I started only taking .25 mg at a time and pushing my doses back until I really needed them, even if that is the middle of the night. I became wiling to endure some discomfort in between. This is the same sort of thing I did when I got pregnant and had to dive down on my dose really quickly. I just took small doses and tried to space them out as best I could. I make some doses and keep them next to a little pad of paper and pen. When I take one, I mark a tick so I know exactly how much I'm taking. I was going to just try to take a bit less here and there, but this method has resulted in me dropping to .75 for three straight days and I cannot say I feel bad at all! Hopefully, this will be Day # 4!!!

laddertipper :D

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PostPosted: Mon May 30, 2011 1:32 pm 
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NICE WORK!!!I know thinking of the future is horrible for me. Is it going to get better is it going to get worse???Just take it day by day and try not to think about it. Keep it up!


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 Post subject: Update
PostPosted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 10:13 pm 
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The tapering continues, but I made some really good progress so far this summer. I'm down to .25/day for about a week now. I also have gotten my dosing down to only once a day, always at night around 9:30. I'm having almost zero sweats and chills. The only symptoms I have are morning anxiety if I take my dose earlier than 9:30 the night before and a pretty mad case of RLS. I'm exercising like a crazy fool.....running about 3 miles in the morning and walking/hiking at night, plus stretching and riding dirt bikes, etc. Just staying outdoors because this really helps the RLS. Hey, at least I'm going to eventually end this taper in great shape and very tan! :D It takes about 1.5-2 hours after I dose for it to kill the RLS enough to where I can sleep. Still taking Clonidine at night too and sometimes Melatonin and .5 mg Clonopin. I figure it cannot be too long before I'm done. I'd like to get to around 1/8 mg before jumping.

I started this thread absolutely hopelessly stuck at 1 mg, or so I thought. I proved myself wrong, though. If you hang in there, this does work. I feel great, honestly. I've got so much going on and my life is way fuller and I'm very happy. Everything is looking up! I'm just very glad I did not give up. :D

laddertipper

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First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you. ~F. Scott Fitzgerald


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 10:22 pm 
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Ladderstripper,

I'm SO happy that you didn't give up too!! You dug REAL deep, you made up your mind that come hell or high water you were getting off of Suboxone and you are SOOOOOOOOOO close!!! I wonder how many people you have inspired to keep going, to stay after it, even when things seemed impossible. I'm so very proud of you.

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 9:13 am 
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Romeo wrote:
Ladderstripper,

I'm SO happy that you didn't give up too!! You dug REAL deep, you made up your mind that come hell or high water you were getting off of Suboxone and you are SOOOOOOOOOO close!!! I wonder how many people you have inspired to keep going, to stay after it, even when things seemed impossible. I'm so very proud of you.


Am I close? I hope so!!! I also hope I will have inspired somebody by the end of this because I'm worried that all I've done is scare people. I've been very diligent, though, and I did not think I could be this responsible and disciplined, so that is what anyone reading this should take from it. It may be tough at times to taper, but you can truly do it if you truly want it. We are stronger than we think.

Ur the best, Romeo!!! (((HUGS)))....

ladderStRipper

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 Post subject: Inspired
PostPosted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 12:06 pm 
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.25 is so low a dose I can't even fathom it. And yes, you've inspired me to get down as low as I have. I'm a few months behind you but read every word of your tapering progress as I do everyone else. How else to be motivated?

You are an inspiration to us all LT. Keep it going!


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 08, 2011 10:39 am 
Good for you, Laddertipper!! I'm so glad to hear that you have stayed with it and continued to taper. Oh my gosh....you're so close to being done with this!! I'm sorry that it's been a rough road for you to get this far, but you have stayed strong and pushed through the tough times with patience and determination! You should be very proud of yourself! Soon, you'll have this completely behind you! Keep up the good work and thanks for the update (I was wondering how you were doing!)


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 08, 2011 10:59 am 
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i love to here laddertippers story's on the long slow taper. thanks latter". if you can do it long term, then i can also. i hope?


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 08, 2011 2:21 pm 
I cannot get Midrin anymore. The pharmacy said there was a problem with the manurfacter.


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 08, 2011 10:37 pm 
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Ladder - just want to thank you for this incredible thread- I am so inspired by your determination. I will be reading and re-reading this thread as I work towards my taper. Your honesty about the ups and downs isn't scary to me- it makes things less scary knowing that is what I need to expect. And.. now after reading your thread, I understand why even at 3mg a day for 18 days now I am still kind of having trouble. I see how slow is the only way to go and again... I keep thanking everyone for this site because it's damn scary to be in this situation. I have a pain condition and as I taper I know the pain is going to get worse, but I just have to find a better pain management option. Sending you a big hug of thanks and encouragement. You were hoping to have inspired someone with your story and you really really have inspired me. Thanks for all that you do here.
Anita

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 12:21 am 
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You guys are all so awesome that I feel like I'm gonna get teared up! Anita, my pain was also a big, scary thing for me too, but so far, so good. I've been pretty surprised in that regard, but I do think exercise helps a ton.

Yeah, I've been super honest in this thread and sometimes I thought maybe that was not fair to other people, because other people seem to be able to do this with much less trouble than me. However, it seemed pointless to post if I was going to lie and sugar coat it. What I've realized is that you are going to get symptoms at some drops, but you have to believe they will go away. Sometimes, it takes a while, but they will go away, no matter how long you have been on Sub and how high your dose was. There's nothing to be terribly scared of, and that has been the biggest thing in my way: FEAR! Fear sucks and eats you up. However, this is like any other substance and your body will let go eventually if you keep chipping away at it.

Also, I really do feel happy! I feel much happier than I did when on lots of Sub, and I cannot stress enough what a huge motivation that has been to keep going with this taper. Even when the RLS keeps me awake, it's more of an annoying thing than anything emotional. I think if I would have jumped at a 'high' dose, I would have gone to a black place in my mind and it could have been quite bad. Tapering gives you time to get used to how different stuff seems. I'm really excited to be getting closer to jumping....whenever that is!! :wink:

laddertipper

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First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you. ~F. Scott Fitzgerald


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 1:35 am 
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ladder, you and setmefree are so inpiring to me! There have been times I thought I would never be off Sub, but seeing you guys brave your way through it gives me so much hope! Do you realize that 0.25mg is a tiny fraction of the pain dose, which is minute in comparison to the ORT dose? You are so close to being off! Good for you! I'm sending good vibrations (and cheers )your way.


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 Post subject: just a thought!
PostPosted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 1:25 pm 
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laddertipper wrote:
frank, I kinda see what you mean....at least I think I do. I'm wondering, though, if you think I should keep going down right now, even before I feel normal at 1 mg. Do you think that's a good idea? Honestly, I don't know whether to stick it out here for longer and keep believing I'll adjust to it or drop further so I don't feel stuck any more. I do think we are spoiled here with meds to help us with everything. I've been told by friends from other countries that they are shocked at how many things we go to the doctor or take a pill for. I do want to get out of this mentality, which is why I wasn't sure about whether I should even start Clonidine in the first place. However, I do think it helps me sleep, and it is no longer making me sick to my stomach. I absolutely despise throwing up, as I'm sure everyone does, and I know you lose nutrients. Just as I thought, though, I needed to work my way onto it. I took a half of a .1 last night and it helped me sleep, and I slept well until time to wake up. I did wake up with the chills, as always.

Thanks Aqua and Orange and Rain for all the support. I love you guys! You are such sweet people to get on here and give encouragement to someone you've never met. It feels to me like I do know the people on here, though, and I'd love to have a big Sub Reunion party.

Orange, I'm going to pull my covers. I'm not exactly a healthy eater. I skip meals if I'm not hungry and then eat whatever I want whenever I want. I don't drink enough water. (I do take vitamins.) I pulled out my juicer, though, and I'm going to start that again. I'm getting better at not eating as much sweets. Being a recovering alcoholic, I'm horribly addicted to sugar. This cold ass winter actual compelled me, the ice cream queen, to stop eating ice cream!!! Hearing how much a healthy diet made a difference for you motivates me to put more effort into this. I also need to exercise more. WAY more!!! I'm kinda realizing that it's up to me, at this point, to either stay stuck or pull myself up by my bootstraps, drink a bunch of green veggies, and go outside for a jog. KWIM?

Thanks guys!! I may be dropping soon a little. I don't know. I don't like being stagnant, but I'm scared to drop. I'm not sure what to do. If I felt normal, I'd go ahead and go down.

laddertipper





Hey all! I am new here and I am stuck around 2-3mg per day. I take the films and have to cut the 8mg strips up into pieces. Next week I am switching to the 2mg strips FINALLY-you'd think the counselors at this clinic would have been aware of the availability of it in that dose.
Anyway-I get sick if I go below 2mg, at this point. Sometimes I even get sick at 2mg. I have been on 2mg for about 2-3 weeks now. I guess I need to stabilize or something here-but the frustration of feeling like crap every day on 2mg or less is really getting to me. If i did not have to go to school and take 5 classes this Fall before graduating, I would just JUMP at 2mg here, and get this shit over with.
I just want to know your experiences and if you had to do it all over again, would you drag it out for months or just get it over with and suck it up, and go through withdrawal? Because, to me, I already feel mild w/d anyway, so it's like I would rather feel like complete shit for a few weeks than feel like crap every day for several months......


any thoughts and/or updates?
how long did anybodys w/d last? when i jumped from methadone, I was on 40mgs a day and STOPPED. Cold turkey. I had w/d for a week. then mild after, and all i could think was, "why did I wait so long to just STOP?"


any input is apprec!
Thanks guys!


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 Post subject: Jenzo
PostPosted: Tue Aug 23, 2011 11:13 pm 
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Jenzo, f I had to do it over again, I'd do it the same way, for the most part. Yes, I had protracted times of mild-moderate w/d, especially from 1.5 mg to 1 mg. I just could not stabilize for a long time (although I did!). However, during this whole time, my body has changed so much. I needed that time to adjust. I don't believe, at this point, that there are short cuts. I read somewhere about Dr. Junig saying a person should look at tapering as a long process and kind of mentally prepare themselves for that. I know this goes against what we are made of. We want results soon soon SOON! I am no different. I have a pathetic amount of patience. However, patience makes this all so much better. This will take your body time, whether you jump or you taper gradually. I have a good friend who jumped about four months ago from 1 mg. We were around the same dose when she jumped and I immediately felt like I was such a loser for not doing it like she did. I realize, though, that in reality, I'm better off. She really got thrown through a loop with her w/d, first the acute stuff and then the PAWS, which she is still going through. She is getting better, but she has days where she is totally wiped, has crawling skin, and diarrhea. She's been really unproductive during these months, very much just vegging and doing the bare minimum. I've been leading a pretty full life, which makes it way easier to get distracted from any discomfort. Mentally, I could not have handled it well if I went through this and came out the other end and then had to do so much catch up. So, I like the way I did it, and I am so damn proud of myself for being so discipline this far, because I just did not think I had it in me, the be honest.

The one thing I would do differently is to not agonize over that time when I felt that I could not adjust. You WILL adjust. It WILL happen. I promise. Hang in there. It can be frustrating, but I hit such a huge plateau and stayed there. Now, I look back and realize it was worth it. I'm closing in on 1/8 mg/day!! My highest Sub dose was 32 mg and I've been on Sub since 2005....so this is totally doable. For goodness sake, I am nearly done!!!

Keep the faith!

laddertipper

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First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you. ~F. Scott Fitzgerald


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 1:30 am 
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Hi ladder, I am fairly new here but have read almost every post on this forum and have found your taper story very inspirational. From reading I feel like I know you a bit and I have a lot of similarities to you. So seeing how strong you've been and did not give up makes me think I can do it too and it has put my mind at ease. I haven't started tapering yet but plan to in the next couple months. I just wanted to thank you for sharing your story. I know soon I will be reading your post about how easy it was when you jump because you have already put the hard work in. Your almost there girl!


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 Post subject: LD~!
PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 8:49 pm 
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What up Ladder!
You are awesome. I apprec all you have said. I am at 4mg, then will taper to 3mg for a couple weeks, then taper to 2mg for about a month, then taper to 1mg for about 2 weeks and then TRY to get to .5. after that, im just done with it.
I do have a great anti depressant and anxiety meds - and am an avid hot yoga student!!!!!!!! it helps SO SO much-the PAWS thing is hard, but soooo manageable with exercise!!!!ENDORPHINS~!!!!
I am in strong faith that even at 1mg, after the first crappy week, I will be ok with the right kind of self care. and ATTITUDE!
I thank you for updating me and responding.
Let me know when you jump!!!!!!
I did not adjust after almost 3 weeks on 2mg. SOOOO we shall see about the jump off point. I will skip days at that point to get ready, but id rather feel like crap for 2 weeks than drag it out forever.
<3


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