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PostPosted: Sat May 10, 2014 9:34 am 
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You sound in a very positive frame of mind. Keep it up.


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PostPosted: Mon May 12, 2014 3:14 am 
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Day 9 yesterday. Felt crap most of the day. Just wanted to lie down watch tv. Instead I listened to music did housework and took dogs for a 3 mile walk. Met my good mate last night as he was in the area for a funeral today ( Monday - the lad got clean a good few years ago. Got married. Little boy my age. Raised £4m for charity by all accounts. Died of an OD last week. Very sad.) I am going to try and attend the wake. Google him. Jake Coe. He was a good lad. I also managed to obtain a few zopiclone. The old me would Have banged my old dose from my H days. Last night however, I took 3.75 at 11:30 pm. Slept until 3:15 and took the same again. Woke up at 6:45am. 30 mins before my alarm. I WILL TAKE THAT!!!:-) Off to work now. Feeling pretty good..
Edit.. this will the first time in 20 years that I have entered a work establishment without any kind of drug!!!!


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PostPosted: Mon May 12, 2014 4:33 pm 
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Hey, how are you doing?? That is great that you were going to work substance free! I'm sending you lots of positive thoughts!!!


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PostPosted: Mon May 12, 2014 5:12 pm 
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Hi rca. Sadly it only lasted until 1pm!! I took 2 tramadol!! So angry, but I have chucked them and my remaining subutex now. Onwards and upwards!!! How you getting on?


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PostPosted: Mon May 12, 2014 5:44 pm 
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yes, onward and upward! Forgive yourself and move on- focus on your progress!! You DID make it until 1, and that is great!!! tomorrow maybe the whole day???? I think you are smart to dump the tramadol and extra sub- why torture yourself with the knowledge that they are available??? I think tramadol is the same thing as Ultram, right? I took that about 12 years ago for a while- it definitely got me high, so yeah, not the healthiest choice especially when you have worked so hard and come so far. I am inspired that you have made the jump, hang in there!!


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PostPosted: Mon May 12, 2014 6:15 pm 
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hey man I guess we all have to face the in to work drug thing. I used to shoot hydros like ever 30 1 hour at work. dam, no more of that ehh. I found a cotton ball filled today of all days and thru it out.


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PostPosted: Wed May 14, 2014 8:16 am 
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dirtyblonde wrote:
hey man I guess we all have to face the in to work drug thing. I used to shoot hydros like ever 30 1 hour at work. dam, no more of that ehh. I found a cotton ball filled today of all days and thru it out.


Nice one for throwing it out. Just found a work colleagues co codamol in the draw at work and taken 2!!! When will I ever learn!!!! Anyway there are non left now. Non at home. So that is it now. Feeling a little crap still. Am on day 13 I think. Nothing I cant handle but cant wait to go home!!!


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PostPosted: Sat May 17, 2014 3:51 am 
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You will do this rca.

A funny story for you. Driving to work on Wednesday when I had a sudden panic. Omg!! Ive left the house without taking a tablet. I looked at the clock to see if I had time to turn around. I didnt. Then I had a little smile and decided my vitamins could wait till I got home!!! FREEEEEE........ :-)


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PostPosted: Sun May 18, 2014 4:47 pm 
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Day 16 I think. On reflection I have suffered no withdrawals whatsoever. I think I went straight to PAWS and am still very much in it.


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PostPosted: Sun May 18, 2014 5:38 pm 
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I'm very curious, why did you decide to come off subs? I'm not questioning your decision, just how did you get there? What made you say "this is it?" I'm new to sub, I just inducted on 4/13/14, right now I'm very stable and getting my life back togethor. But I read so many stories on here about stopping, something must change. I don't have any side effects, not even weight gain, but I'm just afraid one day it'll hit me and I'm gonna want off too. What kind of after support have you planned? Anyone who's stopping or stopped feelings on this would be great. CC


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PostPosted: Mon May 19, 2014 2:02 pm 
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Hi cc. I have been on it 13 years and just felt coming off them was the last step in my addiction. I hate having to remember to take them everywhere. I hate going to the chemist every two weeks. Dont get me wrong. I think it is a wonder drug. At my worst on heroin I was stealing cheating living on a floor in a squat amongst litter and rotting food. I now own my own house. Have a family, job, two dogs two cars a job and two holidays abroad a year. All down to will power and subs!! Good luck in your own journey...


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PostPosted: Mon May 19, 2014 5:51 pm 
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dirtyblonde wrote:
I still found for every 3 days up to a month or 2 I would have the half life kick in the ass, strong turned quickly mild to gone. great job.
wow I was reading thru the post and saw this, like I was ever clean, I must have been drunk as hell and believing my own bull shit. Hey anyway I hoped it helped, sounds like you are doing much better. I love how you spelled out where you came from, quite uplifting.


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PostPosted: Mon May 19, 2014 9:50 pm 
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Thanks subuser13years, I appreciate your honesty. Gives me something to think about. But, I think I've got a ways to go. CC


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PostPosted: Tue May 20, 2014 1:49 pm 
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Not sure what day it is today? 16, 17? Had the worst day at work today. No sleep last night. Today. Aching, back aching. Yawning. Gagging!?!? What the fucks that about. I'll tell you what I think its about. Tramadol. I think even though I only took a few here and a few there it has fucked about with my w/d. Even though a few people on here advised against them I thought I knew better. Ha. Someone said to steer clear as it will prolong the wds. Well. Whoever you are. You were right!!!


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PostPosted: Tue May 20, 2014 1:51 pm 
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dirtyblonde wrote:
You can buy clonidine over the counter in spain. When did you last use heroin. If only .4 subs you should be fine, minimal s/s. Tramadol is waisting your time and setting u up for failure. It will only prolong things. Best o luck.


DB



Db. I bow to your superior knowledge!!! :-)


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PostPosted: Tue May 20, 2014 1:55 pm 
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Am now sat here watching a wasp walking on the floor. Thinking if I let it sting me will that give my brain the kick start it needs in producing endorphins!!!! Talk about desperate


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PostPosted: Tue May 20, 2014 2:17 pm 
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Hey there!! Get up and move! That will get those endorphins going! I don't want you getting bit by a wasp!! Hang in there; I'm looking forward to reading your 30 day post "in the rear view mirror". You can do it!!


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PostPosted: Tue May 20, 2014 3:33 pm 
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subuser13years wrote:
dirtyblonde wrote:
You can buy clonidine over the counter in spain. When did you last use heroin. If only .4 subs you should be fine, minimal s/s. Tramadol is waisting your time and setting u up for failure. It will only prolong things. Best o luck.


DB



Db. I bow to your superior knowledge!!! :-)


funny guy, ha I am far from that :D just another junkie trying to help, I know how you feel about the bee. Its like anything to kick start it, fuck it, it may work. who knows maybe the next experiment. you may not have of set much if at all, I think for close to 30 days we are just suspect to that, sick gagging shit, hell what ever it may bee. haha, hope you get better quick.


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PostPosted: Wed May 21, 2014 3:52 am 
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[/quote]
hell what ever it may bee. haha[/quote]

Funny!!! Just took me by surprise db. It was like I was on day 4 or something!?!


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PostPosted: Wed May 21, 2014 4:32 pm 
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rca1004 wrote:
I'm looking forward to reading your 30 day post "in the rear view mirror". You can do it!!


You will rca :-)


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