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PostPosted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 10:02 am 
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Hi. I've never posted anywhere about my addiction. I keep it very very private out of fear for my kids...but I'm finally desperate enough I guess. Anyway, I have been addicted to pain pills for a few years now. For almost 2 years now, it's been an every single day habit. I hate it (didn't used to) and want off so bad. I've tried to get clean dozens of times cold turkey or tapering. It never works. I can't get past 20 hours usually. 3 times, I've made it to 6 days, but the withdrawals don't show any sign of letting up at that point and I always give in just to not be so sick. I have a family to care for alone and I can't just lay low and try to sleep through it or anything. I have to keep being the caretaker no matter what.
So yesterday I tried my first (and last) suboxone film. I was supposed to take 8mg, but took only 4 mgs. I then proceeded to forcefully vomit at least 50 times (and counting) over the following 19 hours. I am still vomitting. I've not kept one drop of liquids down the whole time and slept less than an hour. I just want this to stop. The vomitting just wont stop:( My body has had enough. I thought two different times that i was definately done vomitting. Even if I drink just half a tsp of liquids, I throw up within a minute. I also have felt this whole time, like I can not possibly keep my eyes open or stay conscious.
I know I waited long enough after last pain med use before I started the suboxone. From what I've read, this is pretty clearly an overdose. I guess I had cut back on my use enough that I should've started on a MUCH lower dose. Idk what to do to get this over with. I can't keep doing this though. Any experience you could share about how long this lasts would be appreciated. I obviously couldn't take any anti-nausia meds or anything. As soon as a drop or 2 of liquid hit my stomach, i vomit 100% percent of the time.
I will never ever take it again, and I hope this has scared me enough to never take a pain pill. Time will tell. I still face withdrawal...and that beats me every time. I just want to be free. Feel like I never will.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 10:25 am 
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Hey there Mamma,

Oh man, it sounds like you have had a pretty rough night. I'm so sorry you had such a bad reaction to the meds. I totally understand your situation. I am a mom of 3 and I homeschool my kids, so I get the part about not being able to quit being a caretaker long enough to go through WD. It is a terrible place to be. It would make it so much easier on you if you could figure out what caused such a violent reaction when you took the subs. It could be that your tolerance wasn't high enough or it might be that you don't tolerate the naloxone in the suboxone strip. I have seen this discussed here a few times. They make a version of buprenorphine (the active ingredient in suboxone) that does not include naloxone. Maybe you could ask your doctor about it? Why don't you share a little more about your drug history with us and we'll see if we can figure out a way to help you. What were you taking and how many MG's if you don't mind sharing. This way we might be able to help you figure out if it was just too much suboxone for you, it can make you very sick if you take too much. This medicine is MIGHTY strong. I hope you start to feel better soon. I would imagine at about 24 hours in the bad side effects should start to dissipate. (Don't quote me on that, I'm not 100% positive)


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 10:31 am 
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Hi mamma 2

Sorry you are feeling bad. How many pills were you taking on a daily basis.? Im just curious due to the vomiting.
Have you ever taken Suboxone before?
It could be that you are having a reaction to the Suboxone?
Precipitated Withdraws?

Or took too much Suboxone?

Not sure. I would def call your doc that prescribed them to you.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 11:01 am 
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Don't let this ruin your ideas about suboxone.


Same thing happened the very first time I took a suboxone, but only because nobody informed be of pw or how strong it is.

So. Reevaluate and try again is my advice.

If you are still vomiting this long after like you say you are.... It sounds more like too much suboxone still.

Try 2mg next time.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 11:07 am 
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I'm so paranoid to post details. If a 30 day script is gone in less than a week...that's bad, right? Ugh. I am so addicted and every attempt I've made to get clean fails quickly. I cant call my doc about how sick I am. Didnt exactly get it from a doc. I think I was just really stupid to start at 4mgs. I thought it would be ok, but since I've used maybe 1/4 of what I usually do the past couple weeks...I guess i was wrong
I thought subs (I only had a total of 20 mgs) would be the tool I needed to finally be free of this mess. Oh man...gonna b sick again..


Last edited by mamma2 on Tue Apr 16, 2013 11:16 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 11:14 am 
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I took the 4 mgs almost exactly 23 hours ago, and I am still vomitting despite not having attempted food at all. I've tried very tiny sips of water or pedialyte after an hour of not throwing up, but I immediately throw up. I throw up even when i dont try any liquids. I'm so thirsty I want to drink a gallon of water, but id settle for a teaspoon!
I think I definately took way too much sub.
I would b terrified to try it again. But I do feel the opiate withdrawal coming back (I get the head shocks really bad..debilitating for the whole 6 days ive ever gone without pills). Idk how im ever gonna get clean. I hate this! I so appreciate everyone who is talking to me about this. I am very isolated in my life, so its kind of surpriseing that people are replying and trying to help me:)


Last edited by mamma2 on Tue Apr 16, 2013 11:30 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 11:29 am 
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Ok Momma, I get what your saying. You induced by yourself without a doctor. I understand the fear of being discovered...but I hope you know you are safe here and nobody will judge you for your addiction. When I was in full blown addiction I was running through a script that would last most people 3 months in less than a week. We get it honey. Does your husband know about your situation? Would it be possible for you to go to a doctor? It doesn't have to be a doctor you know, you can find a suboxone doctor who will treat you and your regular doctor doesn't have to know anything about it. You won't be able to get your regular pain pills while being treated though so be sure you are ready. Most sub docs run your prescription history to make sure you aren't seeing them and still getting something else you aren't supposed to. You really need to find some kind of a support system if you are going to make this work. I would be happy to talk to you if you need it. You can send me a PM and we will figure something out K?

Hang in there.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 11:46 am 
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It sounds like you are getting dehydrated. Can you grab some ice and just put that in your mouth to get some water in your system. If anyone knows like a friend or your husband that you can talk to? You may need more fluids. Hope you feel better


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 12:09 pm 
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Hey Mamma2,

I'm so sorry you are so sick! :( Please try to keep hydrated. This is another reason to love this forum...real people who reaaly care! You have gotten some great advice..I wish you nothing but success! TTYL!

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 12:21 pm 
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I dont have anyone. I have in the past hour kept down my very first sip of pedialyte so far. I'm barely moving, just hoping it stays down. I'm just so very thirsty.
Would you all think I should take a tiny bit of sub at this point would likely be a good thing...or the worst thing i could do?


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 12:25 pm 
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I mean .5 mgs or less. Im afraid to try it...I cant do another 24 hours of the he** ive just gone through. but its been suggested that a tiny bit may actuall help with the nausea thats left and take away the withdrawl symptoms im feeling. Idk..you all are much more experienced than me...any suggestions appreciated. I am happy to say i still havent vomitted in 2 hours even though i drank a little bit


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 3:29 pm 
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Hi mamma2, and welcome here. Sorry you ended up here with so much sickness, but you did find the right place to ask questions and find out exactly what Suboxone is and how best to use it.

You still haven't told us how many and what strength of pain pills you were using prior to taking the Sub. A 30 day script could be "take one per day" or anything else. The main reason we need to know is that will explain why you are throwing up so much. And even if you were only taking a little bit, you shouldn't be that sick. I wonder if you're having a reaction to the Naloxone in it. That is why it is so important to have a physician do the inducing and monitoring. We are not doctors and can only give you our opinion based on experience. So please tell us. 1) What drug and mg strength and 2) how many you were taking per day. There is a big difference between a Vicodin 5/500 and a Percoset 10 mg.

And please don't worry about anyone knowing who you are. This site does not ask for any personal information and everyone is anonymous. It is up to the member if they want to disclose any other information. You could be posting from Greenland and we'd never know it. No one will guess who you are so post freely.

Welcome again to the forum,

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 4:15 pm 
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I was down to around 3 vics a day for the past couple weeks (around 12 a day prior to that). If I had been able to get help from a doc, I would've happily done so. I only got to the point of doing this myself after years of addiction, suffering, and failed attempt after failed attempt.
I took half the 8mg film at 11:30am yest. I'm still throwing up now. I thought I was finally ok by about 11am today. didnt throw up again til a few mins ago. I did manage to finally get some fluids down and even ate a small amount earlier and kept it down.
Thanks for trying to help. I hope I can figure out whats going on here. I really thought I was done throwing up. Idk if I should try a tiny amount tomorrow morning or not. I have to get through the worst of the withdrawals (the symptom that makes it impossible for me to get clean as of yet, it the head shocks/brain zaps. Its exactly the same as what a lot of ppl get when getting off of SSRI's. Its the most debilitating symptom and keeps on going after most of the other WD symptoms are fading.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 8:43 pm 
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Hi momma2,

Welcome to the forum!!

I'm sorry you had such a horrid experience with Suboxone. To the best of my memory, 1mg of Suboxone is equal to approximately 30mg of Hydrocodone. You were taking 3 Vic's a day, if they were 10mg each, that's 30mg and you should have induced on 1mg of Suboxone, not 4mg.

Over the last 24 hours, did you happen to look at your pupils in the mirror? Were your pupils very tiny? If so, that's a sure sign you took too much.

The average half life of Suboxone is 37 hours. Looking at your first post, you took your first dose of Suboxone on Monday, if you took it Monday morning and your liver eliminates Suboxone about as fast an average user, you should be feeling better soon.

If I were you, I'd cut my strip down to where I was taking .5mg or .25mg. You may need to use a razor blade or exacto knife to get that small of a dose, then you may need to use tweezers to pick it up and put it under your tongue.

Good luck and I hope you feel better soon.

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 Post subject: Try this ..
PostPosted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 9:48 pm 
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Don't take anymore Suboxone until you start feeling the feelings you would have felt when you needed to take a Vicodin.. My Dr also had me start at 4 mg twice a day .... I puked my guts out for 24 hrs ..... I waited till I started going threw withdrawals and instead of taking Tramadol I took 2mg of Suboxone and have been at that dose for the last 5 yrs ... I'm not a Dr but I think 4mg of Suboxone is way way way to much for a very very very small Vic habit .... I was taking 19 Tramadols a day and 4mg of Suboxone had me sick as a dog ..... You'll be fine , Suboxone is a lifesaver , Good Luck , PS : I think I know you ...


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 Post subject: Re: Try this ..
PostPosted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 10:39 pm 
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:lol:
Painter wrote:
. You'll be fine , Suboxone is a lifesaver , Good Luck , PS : I think I know you ...


Very funny painter... :lol: Just wanted to be sure momma understood it was a joke. A very well played one though. :P


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 17, 2013 7:11 am 
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I was teasing , after reading her post I remembered when I first walked into the Drs office for help to stop a 5 yr tramadol habit. I got hooked for two reasons , took them every day for C6 C7 disc herniation which climaxed with veterba fusion and the biggest reason for becoming dependent on tramadol was that I was mildly bipolar .... Fell in love with the drug the very 1st using it.. Took me 4 to 5 yours to get up to taking 19 pills a day ... As far a momma being private , I have 3 or 4 different Drs , NOT one of them know I take Suboxone , only my wife and my shrink know ... My shrink thinks my other Drs should know it , that's my private business, you just keep on being private momma, Once this new Obamacare crap starts were most likely going to loose all our privacy , were going to HAVE to sign paperwork that lets others share our medical records .... Are you feeling better momma ? Puking from Suboxone is a right of passage , Mike from Crown Point, IN


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 17, 2013 8:04 am 
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What a horrible right of passage! Threw up again last night, but managed to keep a Chlonidine down just before bed. They cut down on the head shocks a lot and minimize the cold sweats and feeling like I'm going to crawl out of my skin. So I actually feel ok this morning, besides a headache and the very sore abdominal/back muscles from throwing up so many times. I know the Chlon will be wearing off soon though. IF I can force myself to take the sub that just put me through almost 2 full days of hell, it will be less than a mg for sure. Wont even think about it til lunch time which is just after I pick my youngest up from school. I don't want to take it and find myself unable to drive again. Ok..have to get everyone ready for school, and try not to think about drugs for a few mins. I've been thinking about drugs non-stop for years. I cant wait til a time when It's not consuming my life anymore! I know I am so much closer to freedom than I've ever been. Will check back later..thank you all!


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 17, 2013 7:32 pm 
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Are you feeling better , I believe most of us have gone thru what your going through , you found out the hard way how strong Suboxone is when compared to Vicodins ..... You hang in there , your making some of the most important changes in your life, especially when you consider the well being of your family who didn't ask for this , Good Luck, Mike


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 17, 2013 9:54 pm 
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Thanks Mike. Yes, I certainly didn't expect 4mgs to do such horrible things to me. I can take a dozen vics and be fine...so yeah...didnt expect it. BUT...people were telling me not to write off subs yet as my way out. So 2 days after I took the horrid 4mg dose, I took .5 mg today. It did not take my withdrawal away...but I didn't feel like I was gonna die either. As I'm now thinking about going to bed in an hour or 2, I know I'm in for a night of cold sweats, tossing and turning and waking up moaning after a minute or 2 of sleep...and the worst for me-head shocks every couple seconds (basically every single time my eyes move at all). So I just took another .5mg. I intend to only take sub once a day as God forbid I get addicted to these too. Well, i think im automatically addicted to any and every possibly mind-altering drug, but you know what I mean.
I dont even have the slightest desire for pills. then again, barfing THAT many times will scare u away from anything for a while. But ive been at the point where i hate the pills...just really really HATE them, for a few months now. Ive only taken them to stop the wd's when it gets bad enough that i cant drive my kids. anyway. I am glad i found this site. support is important..and i have none in my life


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