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PostPosted: Wed Oct 19, 2011 8:12 am 
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Hi guys,
Well in 25 hours from now I should be well on my way to recovery. I dosed last yesterday at 9:30am and today, i want to crawl into a corner, cry, warm up and die all at the same time.
I could not miss work today, as I have 36 people coming to see me. Seriously, how the hell am I going to pull this off???
When I used to WD at work, I could close my door and just be miserable. Today though, of course.. there had to be a deadline for people. I just want to die right now. My knees for some reason are taking the brunt of it this time. Can't bend down for anything without whimpering. My skin feels like I have sand paper rubbing against in and I can hardly keep my eyes open.
I know you all know all of this, but I seriously feel like I "last dosed" too early. I am just scared of Pres WD's. Hopefully me being 48 hours clean when I start will prove to be in my benefit. As for now....anyone wanna switch places with me?
Painful human today hopefully means normalcy tomorrow. Can't sit still... man today would be a great day for my boss to look at me and say "you don't look so great, maybe you should go home" ahhhh yes that would be nice. BUT SHES NOT HERE TODAY. Damn it. Anyways, I'm seriously able to write and write and write today about how crappy I feel and how misterable I even look... but knowing someone who is on subs or clean is reading this giggling to themselves saying "I KNOW IT SUCKS BUT TOMORROW WILL BE WORTH IT" ha ha ha ha.. damn, i hope so.
Cheers to you all for WDing for subs. just knowing that I still have 45 pills at my disposal is making me even madder.
"God Grant me the serenity"


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 Post subject: sorry
PostPosted: Wed Oct 19, 2011 8:24 am 
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Feeb I had to be off for 24 hours before my appointment not sure why you have to be off so long but it will be worth it tomorrrow. You will feel so much better after meeting with your doctor. I know I did.
Good luck and keep us posted
Mel

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 19, 2011 8:37 am 
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Friday night before bed I took 2 oxycodone (15mg), 1 Diazepam (10mg), and took off my Fentanyl (50mch) patch. When I woke up Saturday I was in withdrawal. I popped a Suboxone 8 under my tongue and it took about 30 minutes to disolve. I was afraid of it not absorbing into the blood vessels under my tongue. About an hour after I woke up, in full withdrawal (not too violent ones), I felt fine! I smoked a joint & slept some more as I was so freakin' relieved that it DID work! I'm a fan bigtime. I brag about it. Screw 'em if they can't take honesty! :D

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 19, 2011 10:13 am 
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I know this is so hard for you right now and I think you're doing great! Look at being at work this way: It's going to make your day go by SOOOOO much faster! If you were sent home right now, you'd have nothing to do but watch the clock tick by. So be grateful you have something to help you pass the time. It WILL help, I know it may not feel that way right now.

And once today is over, tomorrow morning will be here before you know it. So hang tough and post here as often as you need to. We're here for you!

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 19, 2011 11:00 am 
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Hey Feebs, I don't know what time your appointment is tomorrow but if its still 24hours away you could take some more of your doc. Since you are in withdrawl now 24 hours after your last dose then you will be in withdrawl at your induction and be fine. I waited 24 hours and I was fine. I am not pressuring you I just want you to know you have that option so you are not suffering needlessly. Good luck tomorrow and let us know how it goes.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 19, 2011 11:28 am 
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It really has to do with your opiate of choice. Some take much longer to get to "full WD" than others. Poppy pods are notorious for staying in your system for a long time. Whenever I took them, I really wouldn't start WDing until about 36 to 48 hours without.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 19, 2011 11:46 am 
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If I understood your first post correctly, your induction appointment is for 9 am, which leaves you with less than 24 hours. At this point, I wouldn't chance taking anything. I know you probably don't want to hear that, but I think at this late in the game you'll be better off just holding off until morning. Just my opinion.

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 19, 2011 12:04 pm 
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I didn't notice you said when your appointment was if it is less than 24 hours away I wouldn't chance it either. Sorry you are suffering but in the morning you are gonna feel like a million bucks!


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 19, 2011 12:24 pm 
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I didn't notice you said when your appointment was if it is less than 24 hours away I wouldn't chance it either. Sorry you are suffering but in the morning you are gonna feel like a million bucks!


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 19, 2011 2:53 pm 
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hatmaker510 wrote:
If I understood your first post correctly, your induction appointment is for 9 am, which leaves you with less than 24 hours. At this point, I wouldn't chance taking anything. I know you probably don't want to hear that, but I think at this late in the game you'll be better off just holding off until morning. Just my opinion.




^Yes, I agree with hat, here.

I know that withdrawal is very uncomfortable- to say the least-
but it will definitely be worth it to avoid precipitated withdrawal
by being in withdrawal when you go in for induction.
As well, this is just my opinion, too.

Good luck!

-ex-

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 Post subject: Thanks all
PostPosted: Wed Oct 19, 2011 6:49 pm 
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Hi there,
Yes my induction is for 8:40am and man it could not come fast enough.
Being at work, as much as I was suffering, it did help the day go by. At lunch, I shut my door and crawl up on the floor with my coat and sweater. I did nod off for about 15 minutes, kinda made things worse. Not my usual make up, due to eyes running, so I was noticeably not myself.
I'm sitting here like a lump listening to my kids play, I know they need to have a bath, but I don't have it in me to give them one. I can't eat either, so it was macdonalds for them tonight...ya #1 mom, being in withdrawals so I neglect not only their hygiene but their nutrition too!
I know I know, I'm being unnecessarily hard on myself, it doesn't happen all the time. Tonight tho, I feel like worst mother in the entire world.
Tonight I shall pray. Something I've only done before in regards to my boys.
Thank you all for all this support, I'm very lucky to have come across this place and actually have the guts to post.
Hugs to all
Feeb


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 Post subject: Sorry
PostPosted: Wed Oct 19, 2011 7:38 pm 
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Feeb I'm so sorry, I know it is extremly hard just keep your eye on the prize. Tomorrow you will have a new beginning and it will be great!!! I'm very excited for you and Praying for you and yours. You will make it and you will be glad you did.
Tomorrow you will be the mother,daughter,wife and self you were before addiction took over your life.
Please keep us posted
Mel

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 19, 2011 8:19 pm 
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You are NOT the world's worst mother! Going through withdrawals is emotional stuff, that's all. And it's temporary. Remember that. Hang in there. Not much longer.

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-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 19, 2011 8:37 pm 
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Hi there--

I do know how time drags when you're suffering from withdrawal. But the usual problem is...we get tired of suffering and it just goes on and on. In your case, you've got tomorrow to look forward to--I'm glad your appointment is in the morning. Many (if not most) people feel about 100% better within an hour of their first dose on sub. Of course, sometimes it does take a little time to stablize and find the right dose. Or, you well may feel some effect from the sub at first, but that almost always disappears within a few days or a couple of weeks max. As far as the withdrawal symptoms though--it should knock those back, hopefully completely, right away. I hope you'll be able to post after your appointment, telling us how much better you you're feeling. Good luck!


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 Post subject: Re: Thanks all
PostPosted: Wed Oct 19, 2011 9:04 pm 
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Feeb2011 wrote:
Hi there,
Yes my induction is for 8:40am and man it could not come fast enough.
Being at work, as much as I was suffering, it did help the day go by. At lunch, I shut my door and crawl up on the floor with my coat and sweater. I did nod off for about 15 minutes, kinda made things worse. Not my usual make up, due to eyes running, so I was noticeably not myself.
I'm sitting here like a lump listening to my kids play, I know they need to have a bath, but I don't have it in me to give them one. I can't eat either, so it was macdonalds for them tonight...ya #1 mom, being in withdrawals so I neglect not only their hygiene but their nutrition too!
I know I know, I'm being unnecessarily hard on myself, it doesn't happen all the time. Tonight tho, I feel like worst mother in the entire world.
Tonight I shall pray. Something I've only done before in regards to my boys.
Thank you all for all this support, I'm very lucky to have come across this place and actually have the guts to post.
Hugs to all
Feeb


Hang in there Feeb!! You are a great mother you just suffer from addiction, as some of the best people in the world have in the past. Hang in there! Just think, in the morning you will be starting your brand new life! As soon as your induction starts you will feel back to your old self again and be free of the nightmares of addiction. We're all very proud of you .. please keep us updated tomorrow after your appt.... Eventually all of this will be in the past.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 19, 2011 11:49 pm 
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Your almost there! I felt like the worst mother in the world when I was withdrawing to get on sub. My husband told me I was wrong and that I was suffering for my children and making a mistake didn't take away from being a good mom. He was right, because right now you are suffering and may not be able to care for your children the way you feel you should but you are going thru this today so that you can be the best possible mom for the rest of your lives. Hang in there, soon it will be a distant memory!


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 Post subject: IM ALIVE!!!
PostPosted: Thu Oct 20, 2011 1:16 pm 
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Hi guys,
I want to thank you all for litterally getting me through this.
here is my morning
went in really really sick...talked to doctor after he was 40 mins late.
told him i was worried about taking too much sub. so at first he gave me 4mg, within 30inutes i was feeling 85% better. an hour after that i didnt want to take another 4, so i just took another 2mg. that was great for me. no side effects other than headadche and yes i spat it out. yes the stuff tastes like crap but YES IT WORKS. im so happy.
although, two things worry me a tad..one is, i did and am feeling the sub just like other opiates, so nice and comfortable, if you will. and the second is that im still craving somewhat. i assume that is normmal and part of the work that i have to take care while on subs.
sorry this is going to be short, im on a computer that is made for norweigians and its way to hard to write.
i will come back later hopefully, but if you could let me know if 6mg may not be enough..honest;y its been almost 4 hours and i physically feel great, other thn headache...but like i said, i am craving, somewhat, not fully but i think the habit of dosing is pretty big, like i feel like im missing something, or there was something i should have done.
thanks again and chat later....
Feeb


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 20, 2011 1:53 pm 
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Yay Feebs you made it! Feeling that opiate feeling is normal in the beginning of sub treatment, you will adjust and it will go away. As far as your cravings it is possible you need more sub but it also possible that it is just the habit of taking a pill thru out the day that is haunting you. If it is the habit it will just take some time to get used to not taking pills thru out the day. People can require higher doses than what keeps them out of withdrawl to address their cravings. 6mg is on the low side for an induction dose, if I were you i would try taking more sub to see if it made a difference. A lot of people take a higher dose in the beginning and once stabilized can try to decrease it. You do not have any sub built up in your system so starting at 6mg could possibly drop you below 4mg before you dose again. At doses 4mg and below not all of your receptors will be saturated and this can cause you to have cravings and feel the ups and downs of your dose. Maybe 8mg would be a good dose to try of course this is just my opinion and you do whatever makes you feel best. I am glad you are done suffering and feeling good! Welcome to the other side!


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 20, 2011 1:55 pm 
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Feeb - I'm glad the sub is doing what it should - so far. That "opiate" feeling, I call it a sort of loopy feeling - WILL SUBSIDE. Give it a few days and you will stabilize. If you're still having cravings then you should discuss it with your doctor. If you're having cravings it totally defeats the purpose of being on suboxone and your dose likely should be raised (even if just a little bit). But don't get too far ahead of yourself. Give it time to stabilize. I hope you continue to feel better.

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-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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 Post subject: thanks
PostPosted: Thu Oct 20, 2011 2:06 pm 
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thanks guys.
well i cant take anymore till tomorrow. being in canada we have to dose at the clinic everyday. but i will address the craving issue at my appt. tomorrow. still have this damn headache, and still buzzing...i really hope both go away.
i dont want to up it to 8 and get a higher buzz though.. that the only reason i just went up to 6 from initial 4.
i just want to remain comfortable and am hoping tha the cravings are due to habit alone. im really thirsty too.
okay, im going to attempt to take a nap, although the likelyhood of that happening are pretty slim.
i dont feel energized though, like i did with my DOC... will that come in time, or is it not part of the package?\
thanks again guys..im actually physcially feeling okay.


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