It is currently Thu Aug 24, 2017 3:13 am



All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Our Sponsors





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 71 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4
Author Message
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Oct 07, 2012 11:22 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Tue Nov 01, 2011 11:48 pm
Posts: 1346
Location: oregon coast
YESSSSSS LILY, props to YOU , for doing what's right!!!!

seriously............ I know its difficult. . . and im with everyone else, taking that extra sub , IS what 'we' do
LOL
at least we're predictable, LOL

Anyways, my point of this whole reply was, YOU should tell your doctor next time you go, so you can make some
more "good points" LOL!!!!!

really,,, you should. Im sure if she doubted you, she could call and check w/the pharmacy.

Anyways, just wanted to give you that thought, in case you hadn't thought of it. Just another way to PROVE to your dr. that her trust, isn't misplaced, like you said already.

And good job with everything else!!!!

hang in there :wink:

_________________
anyone can give up,
its the easiest thing in the world to do, but to
hold it together, when everyone would understand if you fell apart
That's TRUE STRENGTH
http://almostoneyearclean.blogspot.com/


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Oct 08, 2012 3:48 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Sat Aug 04, 2012 11:02 pm
Posts: 1002
If something like that happened to me... and I was forced to pay shitloads for my Subox like my friends over the Pacific .. I'd probably ... actually I'd definitely run with the 8mg tabs, taking cutting a lil bit off one each day and saving a shitload of dosh. Maybe I'm not that principled yet :|


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Oct 08, 2012 9:06 am 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Sat Oct 06, 2012 1:44 am
Posts: 6
Hi Lilly, I'm new to forum but not to opiates or subs or all of the issues I've been reading that you have been going through. (i too used to take more with anxiety and went up and down for years on subs and had marriage and trust issues etc and hated myself etc...) When enough was enough and I really decided to quit (for the first four months of my reducing from 16 mg to 2 mg) I had to cut a weeks worth of subs at a time up and put them in sandwich bags with each day of week on it and give everything to my wife and leave the house so she could really hide them good... She kept the main stash hidden well and the daily bags were hidden well too. Anyway I never found them the couple of times I got weak and tried. She would just give me my daily bag and that was it. I just had to adjust my mind to other things. Anyway I got 10 years of crazy addiction stories I could tell that would probably have most of you laughing or crying saying " yeah... I did that too!" I posted a few days ago and have finally gotten off subs (over 2 weeks now) after almost 5 years of ups and downs (on subs). I'm actually feeling good with only minimal issues (which doesn't matter... It wouldn't make a damn how I felt, I'm not takin the shit anymore). I did it by the slowest of gradual tapers to the most micro of doses. While the gradual taper (9 months) and the micro dose worked that's not really what has gotten me clean and what's going to keep me clean. That happened in me almost a year ago. It's hard to describe the feeling but something in me just said "no more" and I knew I just had to do it for myself and my family. (also if you keep this mindset and can stay on a disciplined reduction for 6 to 8 months you have trained yourself by then to remain disciplined) By the way I've only read a couple of post since joining this forum and I can't believe there are people who think we can't stay clean (like the one who pissed you off) I know it's only been a couple of weeks for me but if you could have seen the small micro doses I have been taking for the last couple months of my taper you would understand that I've almost been taking nothing anyway. (toward the end it is mostly mental... This is where the last battle occurs) I got clean in my head months before I got clean in my body. I was just tired of this shit beating me. I mean it was to the point with me that I would rather be dead than to use again (that's the honest truth). So I've known for a long time now that I'm donewithem. 10 years! 10 long freaking years of lies to my wife, myself and everyone else I loved. I just didn't want to be that person anymore. And for the naysayers (like the one who hurt you) that says or thinks I'm gonna ever put that shit in my mouth again in six months or six years you can come on down here to Georgia and kiss my cracker a$$!!!! There comes a point when it's over. Believe me...I know the difference... After all the times I hated myself and swore and cried and begged and apologized and promised and lied and quit only to start back ..... I know the difference. I know that it feels different when you know its over... When you have finally turned the switch off. I've gotten the mental and spiritual issues worked out, I'm happy, I've been happy every since I knew it was over even before I quit. Its Been different the whole way this time. I'm living life More like I used to now. My mind is on other things. My addiction history is and will always be a part of me. I embrace that, I accept that, its a part of who I am. But that's all. I must move on. I come here to encourage and let anyone here know that there is a switch in your mind that with Gods help you can turn off and be done with your addicting thoughts. It really is possible ( this from a 10 yr opiate user) And God is the biggest thing that we have for help. He really does fill the void. And do not be discouraged if you've tried to quit a hundred times and failed. Your still here and there is still tomorrow. Just dig down deep with the One who made you and decide what it is that you really want and ask Him to help. He has promised that He would and He will! I tried and failed for years but it has finally happened. If you really want it it will come to you... And you will know it when it does! My prayers and good thoughts to all!


Top
 Profile  
 
Our Sponsors
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2012 2:17 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2011 12:59 pm
Posts: 1039
TJ - I don't think you are unprincipled. If I had to pay ridiculous amounts (like I read someone was paying $600 a month!?) I would have run with them, too. But I just had to pay a small copay, so that makes it a lot easier.

Donewithem - welcome to the forum and thanks for sharing your story. When I went off Sub last Dec. I truly believed that was it for me. I was so depressed at first, and I spent weeks feeling like I had lead boots on. I had someone from NA give me a lot of hand holding. And I swore, once I got through it I would remember how bad it was and never go through it again. I am so, so pissed at myself that I fucked it up. I feel like I let my family, myself and God down. But you're right, the only thing I can do is keep trying, and pray that like you I just get to the point where I know I'm done for good.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Oct 10, 2012 9:01 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Sat Oct 06, 2012 1:44 am
Posts: 6
Lilly, You're gonna make it! You already know you can do it. So you fell back again... That's ok... That's part of it... You know this. You're ok. There were times in my 10 years of using when I tried and tried to quit and finally gave up on myself. During those darkest times I would tell God " I have given up on me Lord... Don't YOU give up on me!" And of course our Lord is faithful and He doesn't give up on us. This always gave me hope long before I finally got over myself and my addictive thoughts (that switch That God helped me turn off) I needed this because I really felt hopeless sometimes. So know this Lilly... He hasn't given up on you and You absolutely have tomorrow... It's never over. Everyone is different but there is a place within you that goes back to your childhood. That wonderful creature that God made is alive and well within you and in all of us. You can live happily through her again without dependance and she waits for you. She's still there... Trust me on this. Your gonna make it! Take it super slow When it comes time for next go round and try not to think about it as you do it. Again, everybody's different but God knows your combination. Also if you can very, very slowly take the dosage down to speck size (less than 10% of 1 mg) and stay on speck size for a good long while then when you do jump the whole thing is less traumatic and your withdrawals may be much easier as far as depression etc... My best wishes to you. You got this!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2012 8:44 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2010 10:39 am
Posts: 4028
Location: Sitting at my computer
Hey Lilly,

Just wanted to check in and see how you were doing.

_________________
Be kind to yourself. Our character defects do NOT define who we are!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: New Doc is Leaving
PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2012 8:50 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2011 12:59 pm
Posts: 1039
Got a letter at the end of my group today saying that my new doc is going on a medical leave of absence starting December 21 and she is closing down the practice. It stated that she would make sure all of her patients would find new docs, etc. but I'm done. I already went back down to 2 mg. When she goes I'm going off. I'm tired of it all, and I know I can do it - I did it before.
Like Donewithem said - I really have to rely on my higher power.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2012 9:47 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Sat May 01, 2010 3:46 pm
Posts: 461
Location: South Florida
Wow, you have terrible luck with these doctors! That stinks.

You might consider asking to be switched to the films. It's so much easier to cut up and taper with. I think I read you get the tabs, I could be wrong. Anyway just a suggestion.

Good luck with all this

-gb


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Oct 12, 2012 12:09 am 
Offline
6 Months or More
6 Months or More
User avatar

Joined: Thu Dec 08, 2011 2:41 pm
Posts: 207
Gosh Lilly God really does test you in the most mysterious of ways


Top
 Profile  
 
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Oct 12, 2012 8:01 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jun 10, 2012 10:12 am
Posts: 565
Location: in front of my laptop
[font=Comic Sans MS]Good grief Lilly! I don't even know what to say! I have had the most awful luck that you could
even imagine when it comes to this suboxone journey. I haven't posted about it, because ya
wouldn't even believe it. But I'm starting to think that you just may have it worse than me!

I'm sorry that things keep on going wrong, but I guess you could always look at these things as
signs too. Who knows???

Anyway, I know that whatever you do, you are going to be ok. Keep us posted, and good luck to
you Lilly. I'm definitely pulling for you! Take Care~[/font]

_________________
"All great changes are preceded by chaos."
~Deepak Chopra


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Oct 18, 2012 1:22 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2011 12:59 pm
Posts: 1039
I've been kind of blah ever since I got that letter last week and I havent felt like posting. I REALLY like my new doc and I've been going to her weekly group, which I also like. My previous doctor always talked about starting a Suboxone group, but it never materialized. But now I'm meeting with a small group of people on Sub and it's really nice. People can talk about their medication without fear of being stigmatized. So I'm just going to keep going as long as its available to me. During group today I also committed to calling a new therapist. I haven't been able to get established with an individual therapist since I stared Sub, and I really need to. There's only so much you can get into at the group level.

I also decided that I'm going to taper off of Sub coinciding with my doctor leaving at the end of December. I'm not starting with another new doctor. My original goal was to taper off again, and I like my new doc and new group so much it would have been easy just to stay on maintenance. So maybe I needed this to happen to get me motivated, IDK.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 71 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Our Sponsors
Suboxone Forum latest topics RSS feed Subscribe to the entire forum
 

 

 
Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group