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PostPosted: Wed Nov 20, 2013 8:11 am 
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A month in and I am having issues. I thought this would be different, that if I could get a few weeks clean, I'd be righteous....NOT.

It's as if my body/mind has a separate entity, apart from me but firmly attached, and they have now figured out how to become even more powerful, the two conspiring, so when I listen real hard I swear I can hear the bastards snickering. They aren't at all sneaky, in fact that have revealed their names, Cravings and Sleep Depravation(SD). Isn't the latter an approved form of torture?

They have been at this for weeks, and I am worn out man. I get myself going, try to stay busy, drink water, have tried different sleep aids recommended here, but SD will wake me up fast at the four hour mark. I'm not a happy biker today. And then of course Cravings has The Answer, whispering shit like 'just get one and see if it makes you feel any better'. And 'maybe you have an imbalance and NEED your DOC'!

This sucks! I thought this would be different....

Any additional advice is welcome here.





***When life throws you are curve, lean into it***


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 20, 2013 9:13 am 
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Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2011 12:59 pm
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I've been through 2 Sub detoxes (this time I've been off for 9 months) so I can honestly say I feel your pain. I had to get support from people outside of myself, so I could have sane voices to counteract the crazy ones. Yes, getting one would help, but then you'll have to get one for tomorrow night and the next night and the next until you're right back at it.

You are so close to the turning point. For me it was between 4 and 6 weeks that I started getting decent sleep (maybe 5+ hours a night, which turned out to be enough, even though it was far less than I got on Sub). Unfortunately, the only way out is through. You have to tough it out if you ever want to get back to normal.

On a practical note, I don't know what you've tried, but Vistaril (hydroxyzine) helped me. It's technically an antihistamine, so it's easy to get from a doc.

Oh, and having a chemical imbalance so you need your DOC? I was telling myself that literally until about a month ago. But it's a lie. Yes, a lot of us may have had issues before we started using, but opiates CAUSED more of a chemical imbalance than it will cure. I used for a lot of years and I thought I was messed up for life, but amazingly I'm pretty ok today. It just takes a lot of time, something addicts don't tend to have patience for.

If you've made it through a month you are truly through the worst of it. Please don't give up now. It only gets harder every time you have to do it over. If you stick it out you are going to start feeling better very soon.
Hang in there,
Lilly


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 20, 2013 11:29 pm 
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6 Months or More
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Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2011 8:32 pm
Posts: 249
A lot of us seem to expect this quick physical and mental recovery once we get through the acute withdrawals. When we see there is in fact more work to be done and time to pass before we are truly 100% it can be very frustrating. This attitude led me to several relapses before I finally decided to stick it out for atleast a few months to see if things changed. I am happy to report that they definitely did. All the stuff you're describing went away. Yes, once in awhile I get a craving, but it is extremely mild and never lasts more than a few moments. In the past the cravings stuck around and became an obsession that could only be satisfied with drugs. Now they feel similar to when I crave chocolate. No joke, it's that mild. I think the time between now and my last dose has given my brain the chance to finally heal.


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Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

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