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PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2013 12:59 pm 
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I've tried to get off before, but the longest I lasted was about 6 days before I took some again because I couldn't take it. That was about a year ago, and now I'm married and my husband (who is also on it) seems to be extremely close-minded when it comes to tapering off Sub. He wants me to do it his way, which is going down .5mg every week and then when you get down to .5mg jump off and just deal with the pain. I'm currently on 2mg, he's on 3. Now, granted, he's never been through Sub withdrawal before for more than a couple of days so I think that when he gets to 1mg or .5mg and tries to go off completely he's going to change his mind because it's not as easy as he thinks. He's convinced that any withdrawal below 1mg is all mental. And also that it's absolutely necessary to go through painful withdrawal to be able to stop and not start up again. The lowest I've gone down before I tried stopping was .25mg and even then I still felt like complete and utter crap the next day when I took nothing. And he kept telling me it was all mental and yadda yadda and it can't really be as bad as I'm making it out to be, etc. I know what I felt, though. I couldn't sleep whatsoever, I couldn't stay still, I was shaking like a leaf, I felt like I was wearing someone else's skin. I'm afraid that if I try to do it his way I won't be able to again. I'd really like to get as low as possible, maybe even lower than .25 and give myself enough time in between each dose to get used to it. But it seems as though I'm not going to be able to do that unless, like I said, he sees that I'm not making it up and decides to go lower himself. I just wanted to know, what are some of your opinions on the best way to stop? Is it best to just deal once you get down to .5? Is it more likely that you'll go back someday if you don't go through really bad withdrawal? Was what I felt really just all in my head? I think that it varies from person to person what the best way to taper off is...but he says that every addict is the same and there is only one right way for everyone no matter what or how much they did.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2013 1:15 pm 
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Hi MetalChick,

Welcome to the forum!!

First off, and I hope you don't take this wrong, I think your husband is a twit!! lol

There is NO one right way to quit drugs. Quitting drugs is a very individualized process. I've seen people on this forum jump from 3 or 4mg of Suboxone and hardly have any wd, then again, I've seen people taper down to .5mg and they get hit with serious wd symptoms. Everyone reacts to wd differently.

As far as people jumping high or low and that being an indicator of their future success, I think that's bunk too. I jumped from about 8mg 3 years ago and had a wicked ride on the wd train, I'm still off Suboxone. Another member of this forum jumped from 8mg about 2 years ago, his wd was brutal too, he's still off Suboxone. But, I also know a few members who tapered down to .5mg or below and had almost zero wd, they're still off Suboxone.

If I were you, I would taper down as low as you can. We've had members here taper down to .0625mg or lower and they had zero acute wd when they quit.

Lastly, the comment about it all being in your head. Well, all manner of shit is "all in our heads." When we're happy or sad, angry or mad, jealous or proud, in love or feeling hate.....that's all in our heads too, but it's pretty darn real, isn't it? :wink:

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2013 1:32 pm 
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I totally agree that it depends in the individual. He's just so freaking stubborn and doesn't want to listen to anything I or anyone else has to say about it. When I say that everyone reacts differently, he says "Oh, that's just because they're letting their head get the best of them and they need to stop doing that". Yeah, okay. Easier said than done if you feel like complete crap. And you're right, it is pretty damn real when it's happening, regardless of whether it's mental or physical. I also told him the same thing you just said, that I've heard of people who barely got any withdrawal at all and they're still off Subs, and he says "Yeah, for now. they'll relapse eventually". Okay, 'cause you're a psychic and you know these things.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2013 1:44 pm 
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#1 I wouldn't engage in arguing with your husband about it if he hasn't yet done it himself. Tell him to show you how it's done or shut it. :D

#2 I think tapering below .5 is "six and one half dozen." The pros and cons basically even out. IMO.

#3 You have to expect to feel like shit when you get off suboxone or any opiate.. Just expect the worst and be pleasantly surprised when it's not as bad as you thought. If you're expecting any kind of easy way out, reality will slap you in the face hard. Also, expect several weeks of being uncomfortable but it does ease up. Use the tools that people talk about here all the time.. hot baths, music, comfort meds, sunshine, walking.. it all helps. When you think about giving up and going back to suboxone, just know you'll eventually have to do those six days all over again, unless you settle on a longer term maintenance.

#4 If you do not have issues with benzos, I would suggest a small script to get you through the first week or two. I doubt I could have made it without them. It gives you a tiny bit of calm in the eye of the storm. If you are prone to benzo addiction, then don't.

Hang in there, withdrawal is different for everyone. I also went through sub withdrawal with my husband. He tapered way lower than me and did it like a pro. I was the baby that couldn't handle it. Luckily he was kind and understanding though, so I didn't have to go through your exact situation. I will say, it sounds like your husband means well and he's not totally wrong. The withdrawal is 90% in your head and the first 10% of physical symptoms is the easy part. It's what comes next that is hard.. you have to really work to keep your mind in a good place.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2013 2:15 pm 
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I know he means well, but I really can't afford to play around with this. I've done some really stupid stuff before while being in Sub withdrawal when it was getting to the point that I couldn't take it. The one time I ended up ODing on benzos and muscle relaxers. Another time, I didn't OD but still popped benzos and clonidine like skittles. Another time, I relapsed on heroin and it took 6 months for me to stop using again. So, you can't blame me for being afraid. As past experience shows, I can't handle pain all that well, whether it be mental or physical. I don't expect an easy way out, I'm just trying to figure out what the best way for me would be and not make the same mistakes I made before.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2013 2:34 pm 
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^ Ok, I see where you're coming from. How long have you been on suboxone for? Did you try things like hot baths (during skin crawlies and chills) and music (when anxious)..? It sounds ridiculous but it helps. Maybe you've tried those things and they didn't help, if not, you should. Also, did you stay home laying around when you jumped previous times? Were you able to force yourself out of the house?

When I jumped off subs, I did so with almost a full script left. I was just tired of suboxone and wanted it so bad I didn't care what I felt like like, but my other theory was, if I couldn't take the withdrawals, I wanted sub in the house. Better to have that crutch there rather than reach for heroin. But, I understand that a lot of people wouldn't be able to stop sub if there was still some in the house. Maybe you can give some to a friend or family member to hold for you in a dire emergency..?

Just trying to help.

(and forget I mentioned benzos...)


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2013 5:20 pm 
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Tiny made some excellent points. I am in a very similar situation as you MetalChick. My husband and dotor were both pushing me off the suboxone. I tapered down to .25mg and just couldn't make the jump. I just wasn't ready, and nobody can force you to the point that you will be. I would expect a fellow addict to understand that...my husband isn't one, and that has REALLY complicated matters around my house.

Tiny said she was able to do it because SHE was ready, and even had alot of subs left in the house when she made the jump. That makes a whole world of difference. I think if you ever get to the place where you want to do it then it's totally possible. But having someone pressure you into it just doesn't work. I hope you can make your husband see that, and if you do give me some advice on how to bring mine around!

Q

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 08, 2013 12:04 pm 
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^ It's extremely difficult to make someone who's not an addict understand any of what you feel with all of this. So, if I were you I'd just try to do whatever I felt was right for me, keeping in mind that if the other person doesn't understand, it's not their fault. Luckily enough, I know my husband does understand addiction and what it feels like, but he still has some different beliefs than I do with some things. Although, I'm pretty sure that when this is actually happening and I'm in pain, he would never act insensitive about it or anything like that and would do whatever it took to keep me from doing anything I'd regret later. He may be stubborn, but he's still supportive when I need it the most.

Truth be told, Subs have complicated my life quite a bit since I've been taking them. That's why I want to get off. I actually started using Subs before any other opiate at first, and then started going back and forth from Subs to heroin for a while. So in total it's been about 3 years that I've been on Subs. If I take anything over 2mg anymore, they make me severely constipated for some reason and I'm not able to go to the bathroom for weeks at a time. It wasn't like that at first, but over the years I guess it somehow screwed up my digestive system or something. There's also been a few times where I couldn't afford to go to the Sub doctor and my husband and I were running around all over the city every few days trying to find these goddamn things to buy off the street from somebody. And quite a few of those times we ended up having to go down the way to get them which was absolutely terrible considering we were both sick and there's also heroin dealers all over the place. If it wasn't for him staying strong for the both of us, I would've wanted to just get heroin instead and relapsed again. That's why he wants us both off these things so badly. They're more trouble than they're worth sometimes, and I agree, I'm quite tired of having to deal with all this crap.

My biggest problem when I'm trying to get off is probably the fact that I can't gather up the willpower to get up and do anything, even though I know that if I do, it'll probably help a little bit. But still, I become so miserable that I can't force myself to get out of bed. I keep trying to tell myself right now that when this starts, I absolutely am going to have to get up and do something no matter how much I don't want to, and keep trying to make myself believe that this time will be different and I'll force myself to do these things. But of course it's a lot easier said than done when I still have Sub in my system. I don't know, I mean, I'll do my best to follow through with that.


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 08, 2013 3:00 pm 
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I suggest you keep on the path off suboxone and use Benzos and other potent drugs to get off this "stuff".

Kidding.

All I want to say here is...

Look at yourself in the mirror and what do you have built up (mentally, emotionally, and spiritually) that you didn't before? What will go away without suboxone?

Struggling to stay off isn't bad or failing. Don't look at it that way. Being on it is just as okay as not. So don't stress that.

If you want off, you just have to suffer through those first couple weeks and then focus on what's going on inside your head. It gets kinda crazy during this time. Post on here. Just don't try easy "shortcuts" like smoking weed or Benzos or whatever. It just starts you off in a bad way. Regardless of if you had a problem with them or not. Because off suboxone you are all the way vulnerable and have no safety net. It's very risky, but it's your call.

Staying off suboxone for good as an opiate addict is an incredible feat. It really is. It isn't easy and it takes a lot of work. It's not as easy as getting through the wd and then your addiction problems are all gone. In my experience, if you haven't really tried to change anything on the inside, you go full circle. You get off and are surprised to find that you are exactly the same as you left off.

None of this is free or just magically goes away or gets better with time.

Think about it. That's all.

Hope you do this. It could be done if you really work at it... Full time...


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