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PostPosted: Wed Jan 21, 2015 7:18 pm 
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Hi friends,
So, I finally stabilized on the dose that works best with the least amount of side effects, but it's a super low dose. 2mg once daily. At 3 and 4 I was too sedated and had heart palpitations and I couldn't drive without almost falling asleep at the wheel. I am afraid that the 2mg isn't working....but really, it is. I feel a tiny bit of withdrawal in the am when I wake up after I take my sub it goes away. And I can get through the day without many cravings...like I can handle them and it's not enough to make me want to use. So, I think 2mg is the dose for me. BUT, I have read on here that the ceiling is 4mg so I feel like unless I'm on 4mg a day, I'm not at a high enough dose....I feel like this is my addict talking----I NEED MORE---that's what got me in trouble as an addict. My rational side thinks this dose is good for me. I'm my doctor's lowest dose patient...she has patients on 4-32 mg a day...and I'm the lowest on only 2. Is this ok---is anyone on a low dose like this and it actually works? My addict brain is trying to override my rational side bad! I have been sober 3 weeks today, and sub is awesome and has been a total lifesaver. I just want to know I am ok even though I'm not dosing at the "ceiling" and that 2mg is a good dose! Thanks everyone
Maya


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 21, 2015 8:13 pm 
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I am currently on 1 mg per day and feel almost exactly as I did on 16 mg - other than I don't sleep 10 or 11 hours a day. Otherwise I'm totally fine. Others here have been on 0.25 mg per day without withdrawl.

You are very clearly thinking way too much. You even admit it. I'm willing to bet you overthink many things in your life. Is that a fair statement?

The other thing that really stuck out is that 3 mg made you fall asleep but 2 is not enough. That is just very unlikely and again is mostly in your head. Those two doses are so close it's nearly impossible one puts you to sleep and the other puts you on the edge of withdrawl.

Finally you stated you "feel" this way or that. Just in general when we let feelings guide our decisions it often doesn't end well. Rather than decisions based on feelings I try to stick with decisions based on what I think. Think with your brain - not your heart.

If you are newly sober, only three weeks in and doing it on 2 mg of sub you are already ahead of most of us! You just are. Give yourself some credit and cut yourself some slack. You are doing awesome. Three weeks in I was taking 16 mg a day and still wanting more!!! Even your doctor seems to be saying you are at the head of the class - or the bottom as it were. You are doing great! Does it really matter if you are on 2 or 3 mg per day? Really! Split the difference and take 2 mg one day and 3 the next. Alternate. Either way you'll be on a lower dose than most and certainly most anyone three weeks in.

It has become increasingly clear that 2-4 mg should be many peoples starting dose - not 16. You're already there! Relax. Pat yourself on the back and enjoy being clean. You deserve it. Just keep up the great work!!!


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 21, 2015 8:46 pm 
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Yes!! I overthink EVERYTHING--very fair statement. Always have! I am glad to hear you are on 1mg and doing well. I keep hearing stories that many people are way higher than I am. I am only 3 weeks sober and this is only my 16th day on sub. So yeah, all new to me. I am happy to hear that this is a dose that will help me and that I will be able to be on long term. I still have very addictive thinking and that's why I'm working a program...but I just began that too and have a long way to go. I am only dosing now once a day as I want to get away from thinking I need 2 doses of this daily...again the addict in me. Used to taking pills all day long. Thanks for the reply. I hope to hear more stories like this!


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 21, 2015 9:58 pm 
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Oh Boy I also over think everything!! One of my friends used to say if I hit lotto i would spend all my time thinking about all aspects of how and why i won and if she won she would be planning all of her trips and purchases LOL She was so right :(

Donh had some good insight and valuable suggestions IMO. Your opiate use was bad but at 50 mg's of vicodan a day 2 mg is probably the perfect dose for you. Perhaps all of your receptors are covered at that dose and therefore you have your ceiling dose.

I have read story's' of people using heroin for 20 years and they may have started out at 16 mg (to saturate their receptors) but are happy on anywhere from 1-6 mg's over time.

Do you have any hobby's or outings you can plan so you are doing something that engages you so you won't think? :D


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 21, 2015 11:08 pm 
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Thanks Tiki! I am always busy but somehow my mind doesn't care and I still think about everything and my mind is never really on what I'm doing at the moment. I'm trying to work on that in therapy. Again, one of the things that is part of my addict personality. This runs deeper than I thought!!! Just reading my posts I'm like, wow I didn't realize this or that about myself. Thanks for the info! I'm just going to have to ignore the addict in me saying I need more, and be happy that I am so quickly on the right dose!


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 22, 2015 9:14 pm 
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Today was the most stressful day I have had in a long time. I took 3mg today. I still can't tell if my dose should be 2 or 3. I told my doc I took 3 today and she said that's fine that I'm still on a low dose and she has patients on 34 mg a day, so if I need 3 not to be worried about it. I just can't figure which is better for me, 2 or 3. I guess time will tell. She told me to keep experimenting between 2 and 4mg and see what dose is the best so I guess I will just keep doing that. Ugh. Stress makes it hard. I'm glad I didn't use though...today for sure would have been a bad using day!!


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 23, 2015 8:25 am 
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Maya

Stress is a big trigger! I am very Proud of you for not using!!! When i first joined the forum i was confused & I was told to stick with the same amount of sub for 5-7 days. Only then would i know what worked for me. I get the impression you are taking 2 mg one day and 3 mgthe next. IMO sub is just one tool in our recovery. It gives us a chance to learn how to live without being numb. I am still learning to deal with the emotional triggers.

The fact that you are posting here and reading what you post and Learning about yourself is Great! Just hang in and maybe find an addiction therapist to help, just a thought..


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 23, 2015 10:13 am 
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Hey Maya :)

Sorry to hear about u being so stressed. Stress has always been a huge trigger for me. I was so used to using and being high numbing that stress, and once I started sub I kinda had to adjust to not being able to numb that anymore. It truly does just take time to settle down and get used to feeling "normal".

I know ur trying to figure out which dose to stay at and honestly only u will truly know how u feel. U have started out on a lower dose and I think that's awesome. But is the 2 or 3mg taking care of ur cravings? U def wanna be on a dose that takes care of that. I started out questioning my dose too and it was way higher than urs, so yeah that could be the addict part of u wondering if u need more. The main thing I think is taking a dose that gets rid of ur cravings. Once that is taken care of then u should know which mg works.

Keep doing great Maya, ur doing so good and it just takes a bit to adjust and figure it all out.

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 25, 2015 5:23 pm 
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Thanks everyone! Well I am now on 4mg and think I'm staying there. I was too sick of going back and forth. I feel on 4mg like I am "normal"...and it feels weird. I feel like I am ok to stop the medication---which I am NOT doing---but I think that is how I know 4mg is my dose. Because I feel totally normal. Like I am functioning in my life, getting stuff done, not thinking about using, and not feeling like a drug seeker anymore. The fact that I feel healthy again is I guess what is telling me this is the right doseage. So 4mg it is. I do work with an addiction psychiatrist...she's who prescribes my sub so she said to work at it til I found the right dose for me, and I think I have found that 4mg makes me function the best! Yay!!! Thanks everyone!


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 26, 2015 3:41 pm 
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Good for you, Maya!

Things should be good for you from here on out. 4mg is a very good dose to stick with. You should be around the ceiling with that amount but still not taking such a high dose that you will experience side effects. Congrats on finding what works for you!

Q

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 27, 2015 6:33 am 
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congrats on your sobriety days maya. keep it up :D


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