It is currently Fri Aug 18, 2017 8:15 pm



All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Our Sponsors





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 27 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next
Author Message
PostPosted: Fri May 18, 2012 6:34 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster
User avatar

Joined: Fri May 18, 2012 5:59 pm
Posts: 16
Location: USA
Hello all, I just joined this forum.

Quick back story: I have been on Subutex for 3 years. (I only switched to Subutex from Suboxone because they make a generic for Subutex.) I also do not have health insurance anymore. I am only 26 years old but suffer from chronic pain due to a surgery I had early childhood on my foot. It has led to problems from my toe to my neck from all the muscle imbalances. So I realize I'll always have that annoying pain for the rest of my life.

I started taking Subutex like everyone else here trying to get off of opiates, but now it's been 3 years and I'm only getting older, I'm about to hit my prime of life in a few years, so I think I'm very well off taking this drug for a long time because it works. Because it's like.. what's the point of living if you aren't enjoying life? You know.. like.. I'm only going to get older and I bet I'd be 60 the day I finally can go without it... but then it's like... why not just take the medicine like its used for and enjoy life? I have a ton of demons and anxiety, but not too worse than the normal person and Subutex actually mildy helps that too. I've got some depression even though I really love life, it got passed down from my mom, it's more of that "life is too nice why are we so mean" type of depression. Subutex helps that as well. I very grateful for everything.

But my issue is this... has anyone else accepted being on Suboxone for the rest of your life? I have tried the entire route upside down and inside out for getting off opiates, and getting off Suboxone. I have given up imagining life without medicine at this point. It's like I know I can because I have stopped Suboxone before, but I just feel my foot pain and back pain and the insecurities it brings me. Don't get me wrong I'm fine if I'm not working on my feet, but it's still uncomfortable... who wants to be constantly uncomfortable you know? If I am happy with life and if Suboxone works for multiple conditions (but pain first and foremost) why stop taking it? In the past the only thing that has stopped me was thinking "oh my god this is my life?! I cant be hooked on any pills, I have to prove I can stop and I want to stop" you know what I mean? Like your natural defense mechanism taking over.

I do fear long term side effects but hey life is supposed to be lived. I am single, no kids, just an amazing dog and Parents/Brother. I live a very healthy lifestyle I do no other drugs, I eat healthy, I have good hygiene and genetics, I also have a very open mind and will listen to any and all for at least a minute. Any thoughts on my situation? The only thing that made me create this thread today was some jackass ripping me one on Youtube about Suboxone and how it's "Satan's drug" etc and how "youll never be able to get off of it, just get back on opiates they are better". Yes, I absolutely know how strong this stuff is, I've tried stopping before, I know it only takes a little dust to work, but whats so wrong taking it if it WORKS and you're living a clean healthy lifestyle & have mental stability and responsibility (in other words no one would have a clue you are taking it because you are well presented). It does sucks everyone has you labeled as a drug addict if they find you're taking it, so I just hide it and noone knows except my Parents because I hate explaining. Plus I am taking it as a pain killer, not for the withdrawal aid.

What are you're thoughts on my situation? Please share some of your experiences outside of the obvious "this stuffs so strong, stop now" type replies... lol. I'd appreciate it. Thanks.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: A Lifer
PostPosted: Fri May 18, 2012 7:39 pm 
Offline
Moderator
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jan 02, 2011 12:35 am
Posts: 2801
Location: Southwest
Hey Hockeyplayer,

You articulated it so well that there really isn't much to add to you post except that I agree with you. Yes, keep it to yourself, it's no one's business what medications you are on. Do I tell others including family that I take an anti-depressant? No, of course not. I take a few medications to help with little stuff I have no control over. And you having pain is something you have no control over.

What you might stop doing is beating yourself up over taking a medication for life. You may or may not take it for life. Who knows how you will mentally feel about it a year or ten down the road. Yes you are young and I can surely see your point, but you made it clear that you enjoy life so much better taking your medication then why go without?

If some day you can get control over this pain, then you may consider tapering and stopping. Just keep in mind that if you do stop, it may take as long as a year to feel completely normal again. And that is just a guess going by what I've read here. If you are looking for approval, you surely have mine.

"If it works, don't fix it"

Rule

_________________
Don't take yourself so damn seriously


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri May 18, 2012 10:09 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Tue Nov 01, 2011 11:48 pm
Posts: 1346
Location: oregon coast
Hockeyplayer17.....

I think your in the right place, if your feeling alone about being a 'lifer'

I feel the same way as you, like whats wrong with taking a medicine that helps you for the rest of your life?????
rule' s line is awesome, if it works dont fix it....LOVE IT

When i started suboxone therapy it was to stop my HORRIBLE addiction to every pain killer, well all the strong ones anyways, on the market, and I had even resorted to Heroin, to 'keep my well'

I too, have pain issues. ten years of working construction, and a couple bad car accidents. Im still working as a carpenter, and its very physical, though the finish work is alot easier on my body/back than anything else.
The suboxone DEFINITELY helps alot.
And Ive managed to put my life back together while on it the last 13months, which is pretty freakin awesome if you ask me :wink:

WELCOME to our lil community!!!!!

_________________
anyone can give up,
its the easiest thing in the world to do, but to
hold it together, when everyone would understand if you fell apart
That's TRUE STRENGTH
http://almostoneyearclean.blogspot.com/


Top
 Profile  
 
Our Sponsors
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat May 19, 2012 9:11 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:55 pm
Posts: 4933
Location: Leesburg, FL
Hello hockeyplayer and welcome to the forum. I'm glad you decided to join in. I agree with everything you and the others have already said.

I'm also in your same shoes. I've been on sub now for 3.5 years and I, like you, also take it for pain. We can't take anything else for our chronic pain EVER AGAIN, so this is it for us. At least for now...things could change in medicine in the future. But for now, this is where we are at. We see this as forever, but like Rule said, things could change in 5-10 years. The way I see it now, as far as I'm concerned I'll probably be on sub for life, too. Then I pull back and realize things could easily change between now and "the rest of my life". That's a long time away!

Don't let the naysayers get to you! Many people become those naysayers because they aren't able (for whatever reason) to use suboxone themselves. But take their words with a grain of salt, if you listen at all.

What it all boils down to, for me at least, is your quality of life. If you have the best quality of life being on suboxone, then I think you have your answer. (And it sounds like you already know that.)

Again, welcome to the forum. I hope you stick around.

_________________
-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat May 19, 2012 10:48 am 
Offline
3 Months or More
3 Months or More
User avatar

Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2012 11:13 am
Posts: 97
hi and welcome to the forum. i agree with the above posts. i cannot see going back to opiates no matter who says that subs are devils. to me, my quality of life in the last three months have improved and know as long as i work at a better life then subs are doing its job of keeping me off opiates. there was no life when i was in active addiction (prior to february) except the constant urge for more drugs and the whole cycle of getting, using and obsessing for more. i will stay on subs forever if that is what it takes to keep my life in order and the pain issue under control.

i re-read your post and would like to use your analogy - life is too nice why are we so mean- type of depression. wow that was like thats what my daughter and i just might have! i understood that statement all to well.
thanks for sharing and you sound very healthy minded, so good luck in your future decisions.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sat May 19, 2012 10:53 am 
Offline
Super-Duper Poster
Super-Duper Poster
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jun 16, 2011 7:57 pm
Posts: 311
hockeyplayer17 wrote:
Hello all, I just joined this forum.

Quick back story: I have been on Subutex for 3 years. (I only switched to Subutex from Suboxone because they make a generic for Subutex.) I also do not have health insurance anymore. I am only 26 years old but suffer from chronic pain due to a surgery I had early childhood on my foot. It has led to problems from my toe to my neck from all the muscle imbalances. So I realize I'll always have that annoying pain for the rest of my life.

I started taking Subutex like everyone else here trying to get off of opiates, but now it's been 3 years and I'm only getting older, I'm about to hit my prime of life in a few years, so I think I'm very well off taking this drug for a long time because it works. Because it's like.. what's the point of living if you aren't enjoying life? You know.. like.. I'm only going to get older and I bet I'd be 60 the day I finally can go without it... but then it's like... why not just take the medicine like its used for and enjoy life? I have a ton of demons and anxiety, but not too worse than the normal person and Subutex actually mildy helps that too. I've got some depression even though I really love life, it got passed down from my mom, it's more of that "life is too nice why are we so mean" type of depression. Subutex helps that as well. I very grateful for everything.

But my issue is this... has anyone else accepted being on Suboxone for the rest of your life? I have tried the entire route upside down and inside out for getting off opiates, and getting off Suboxone. I have given up imagining life without medicine at this point. It's like I know I can because I have stopped Suboxone before, but I just feel my foot pain and back pain and the insecurities it brings me. Don't get me wrong I'm fine if I'm not working on my feet, but it's still uncomfortable... who wants to be constantly uncomfortable you know? If I am happy with life and if Suboxone works for multiple conditions (but pain first and foremost) why stop taking it? In the past the only thing that has stopped me was thinking "oh my god this is my life?! I cant be hooked on any pills, I have to prove I can stop and I want to stop" you know what I mean? Like your natural defense mechanism taking over.

I do fear long term side effects but hey life is supposed to be lived. I am single, no kids, just an amazing dog and Parents/Brother. I live a very healthy lifestyle I do no other drugs, I eat healthy, I have good hygiene and genetics, I also have a very open mind and will listen to any and all for at least a minute. Any thoughts on my situation? The only thing that made me create this thread today was some jackass ripping me one on Youtube about Suboxone and how it's "Satan's drug" etc and how "youll never be able to get off of it, just get back on opiates they are better". Yes, I absolutely know how strong this stuff is, I've tried stopping before, I know it only takes a little dust to work, but whats so wrong taking it if it WORKS and you're living a clean healthy lifestyle & have mental stability and responsibility (in other words no one would have a clue you are taking it because you are well presented). It does sucks everyone has you labeled as a drug addict if they find you're taking it, so I just hide it and noone knows except my Parents because I hate explaining. Plus I am taking it as a pain killer, not for the withdrawal aid.

What are you're thoughts on my situation? Please share some of your experiences outside of the obvious "this stuffs so strong, stop now" type replies... lol. I'd appreciate it. Thanks.








Hi hockeyplayer and welcome to the forum!

I completely understand everything you just said...I have been on subutex for 2 years and I have no plans of getting off.
I take it for addiction and pain. Yes, I have worried about the long term effects..the surgery effects..etc.., but I was addicted to drugs for 29 years and if I get off this medication I know I will go right back to the drugs. I am quite a bit older here than everyone else and sometimes I think..gosh I am this old..I should get off this stuff by now..but my addiction says no you don't. So I guess I will take it to the end..which at my age is about 20 more years...if I am lucky.
I wish I had known and had subutex when I was your age...it would have saved me a lot of pain and heartache for all the horrible things i did and the people i hurt. So I say..stay on the drug as long as you need to and only you will know that, and if it is for life , well so be it.

Again Wecome and keep us posted on your progress.
Sincerely,
Slipper

_________________
"For evil to flourish, all that is needed is for good people to do nothing." >> Edmund Burke


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat May 19, 2012 11:57 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Sat May 19, 2012 4:26 pm
Posts: 9
Hey Hockeyplayer17. I have been taking Suboxone going on 3 years for opiate addiction and something else that it has surprisingly helped me with...depression. I am on an antidepressant too and I figure I have to take the antidepressant for the rest of my life (and it didn't even work as good as the subs for depression by itself) so why not take it if it works. You have my blessing. I just joined this site today and I have been typing all night! You can read my first post if you like, it has many things that may apply to you also. But don't worry about the people that tell you it will kill you and it's so powerful and this and that, they are probably people that took subs before they were in w/d from whatever they were taking because if you do that it is INSTANT and total W/D and misery for days from the people that I have heard talk about it. They see it as the enemy. They got instant misery from it. They didn't do it right. I did and I have been thankful for it since day one. Just don't let anyone know about it like you said, we are perfectly functioning and happy too so better off than most, I would say!


No worries,

Jim


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun May 20, 2012 4:13 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Dec 28, 2011 8:47 am
Posts: 937
Location: Southeastern US (Alabama)
Over 4 years here and NO plans to do anything different.

_________________
Adam Wayne P.
DOB: July 1, 1985
October 8, 2013

RIP little brother. Gone, but not forgotten.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun May 20, 2012 4:23 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jul 15, 2010 5:08 am
Posts: 1503
Definitely starting a taper after 12 months on Sub no slipups.


Top
 Profile  
 
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun May 20, 2012 6:04 am 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Tue May 15, 2012 8:46 pm
Posts: 12
That's something I've given thought to as well. Mostly because of my mother. I was just switched from tablets to film so I stayed with her just in case I had a bad reaction and what she kept mentioning was, " I can't wait till you get off these things. How much longer is the doctor going to keep you on these", etc. I've been in recovery for almost 2 years and I just tell her how HARD I went through my drug of choice and my doctor feels he has me at a level I should be. I've been tapering down slowly and I think she just doesn't firmly grasp that I can't just "stop" the subs. It isn't the first time she's mentioned her concerns about them but what is always in the back of my mind when I answer her is what you all have mentioned: what if I have to take them for the rest of my life? Part of me doesn't want to be on ANYTHING but another part of me is terrified of going back down the pill-popping road of death. But I do think everyone is different and if you're not abusing the subs then I don't see the problem :)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun May 20, 2012 11:03 am 
Offline
6 Months or More
6 Months or More

Joined: Fri May 18, 2012 2:15 pm
Posts: 188
Hello! And good Sunday morning to everyone!I am new here.started lurking here about 2 weeks ago. I see there is help here in meney ways. This thread really peaked my interest. Will I be on subs for life? Idk yet,howeveri finedthat this med has saved my life an has givin it back to me overnight! I'm older,early 50s and used for 38 years.I had a good life. The whole bit.wife house cars boat bla bla.in 2007 that all changed. By 2010 in was taking 15 to25 10's a day. My addiction stole everything I had.I still have my shopan trying to hold on to it.one day at a time right? I was lucky at induction. I didn't have help really.the last day of useing I was down to 10 a day. So at 8pm the first night I placed 4mgs in my mouth. The next morning I was like a kid on xmas morning! Amazed how I felt! Dr wrote for 12mg. And today I have 17 months. I've gone the total ab way, no drugs no drink just sub. I'm feeling good but miss my old friends. No more happy hours now.lol. I'm in a clinic that uses na/aa as a tool. I've dealt with all the na attudes with subs. I do have new friends there too. What keeps me clean? I must give my meds a lot of the credit. Just being honest.I like this forum. I hope that I can be of help as time gos by. Will I be on subs for life? Maybe,I just don't know but for now I have no plans to break what isn't broken. Thanks all razor.. oh an my xwife let me move back in the house! Now if I just could get my boat back..


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun May 20, 2012 5:14 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster
User avatar

Joined: Fri May 18, 2012 5:59 pm
Posts: 16
Location: USA
First off... THANKS TO ALL OF YOU who posted replies. Each reply made me feel better as I read. Much appreciated. I will definitely continue to post here and give back any way I can. This seems like a very honest forum community with people all looking to better their lives.

I agree with pretty much everything had to say. It seems like people who take Sub medication consistently are the ones with their stuff together. I know there are a lot of kids out their my age and even younger that go to the Doctor just to get Suboxone while they are out of opiates like Hydro/Oxycodone. I understand there are chronic pain conditions out there that unfortunately Suboxone can't help, but for pain at about 5/10 it works great for me. I also agree with you all there are people out there that can't stay on Suboxone "for whatever reasons" so they go back to painkillers. Some I believe did start the medication wrong (as I did myself) or they just needed that extra lil extra edge that Suboxone doesn't give you. I have seen plenty of young people get stabilized on Suboxone, but they can't handle the anxiety you get when first taking it so they stop immediately and therefore "hate it". I have tried to help co-workers before, even with my own medicine because I wanted to help them off the hardcore painkillers, but they just go back to what they know.

One of my major arguments against the "haters" saying "Suboxone is 100X worse than Opiates" is then why was I SO miserable on the medications like hydro/oxycodone compared to Suboxone? Honestly, and I sure people here can relate, the side effects I got from those medications were AWFUL!!! There was once a time I hadn't had a bowel movement in almost 3 weeks!!! I couldn't even go to my Brothers graduation because I was glued to the toilet in excruciating pain. I also had my appetite go from normal to about nothing in about 1 year. I went from weighing 150 to 120 over the period of 1 year. Then when I stopped and got on Suboxone, the weight came back in more of a fat form! Not to mention the mental mess it makes you. In my opinion there are as many mental side effects as physical.

The way I got started in this whole thing was by when I started working during College in 2006, I would come home and couldn't stand up after I sat down. I would limp into school pretty much walking on 1 foot. I did this for about 6 months. Then, my neighbor offered me "Vicodin" that his wife couldn't take for dental work because she would throw up. He gave me like 20 of them and I'd only take 1 Vicodin before I'd work, only like 3-4 days a week. Then... about 2 months later after the meds ran out, I find myself visiting a doctor receiving Norco's. I was not abusing them at this point, there was about a year of "dabbling" into something I had no clue about, but it worked so I kept taking them. I was only taking maybe 1 a day at that point but after about a year it progressed to 2-3. Then next thing I know I'm getting oxycodone and am loving life!!! I couldn't believe how it took my pain away and I felt like it "brought the best of my personality out". So then there was 1 more year of mild addiction, then the following year 2008 I didn't go a single day without taking Oxycodone. I never ran out and I never came down from the high I was on. I knew it wasn't the be all end all I had hope for because I was constipated, depressed, high, lazy, you name it. My teeth started becoming yellow, my hygiene started to slip, I just wasn't caring about life much. I was not in denial for the last 6 months of addiction, I knew I was caught like a fish and I needed to stop, but couldn't. So there came a day in August 2008 where I just said this is enough for real, I need to stop. I was seeking info about Suboxone and surprisingly the hardest part was finding a Doctor that wasn't charging a fortune! Even against many of my so called "friends" advice... I chose to pay $300 for the visit and change my life. I was taking anywhere from 3-4 40mg tablets of oxycodone everyday and I would feel like crap after only like 4 hours. So I waited that night, I only made it about 16 hours before I thought it was safe to take the Suboxone. I learned I took it way too soon due to my long term opiate usage! but nonetheless besides the constant sweating I felt great. It felt like the day before I ever took a pill. I would constantly take drives and listen to music and my emotions were so fragile I could cry or laugh if i wanted to. I was just so happy to feel emotions after being numb for years. I did get a ton of anxiety and had multiple panic attacks (which I never even knew about) so I only lasted about 1 week or 2 on the Suboxone before taking the pain pills again. I did go through a tough transition where I would break and think I couldn't do it, but after about 6 months to a year of having "relapses" I finally was able to settle down and change my lifestyle so that Suboxone would have a greater chance of working, and I have now been on it for about 3 years. 2009 was the year I would be on Suboxone but then "just to see how I feel" would get back on the opiate meds for about 3 weeks (I did this about 5 times). But ALL of 2010 I went without touching 1 painkiller and even had stopped the Suboxone for 1 week. I realized during that weak how fragile I am when it comes to my body and pain and mental toughness to ignore it... so I quickly started the Suboxone again and have been on it everyday since... all of 2010, 2011, and now 2012.

I am just so grateful for life and I always have been. Suboxone gives you this mental clarity that you certainly cant obtain on Hydro/Oxycodone type medications. I have seen Fathers start becoming Fathers again while on it, I see so much positivity coming from those who choose to take this route of treatment. Suboxone really does save lives. I have never seen anyone die from a Suboxone overdose, at least not like oxycodone and such. I also don't really understand when people say "don't abuse Suboxone" maybe someone could fill me in? Because I have found from experience that Suboxone has a "ceiling effect" and 2mgs pretty much does the exact same thing as 8mgs, at least to me. I didn't even know there was people who try to abuse them, how stupid. and yes I try to take what people say with a grain of salt but sometimes its hard! Even though I KNOW 90% of the Suboxone haters are either people who are stuck on painkillers and can't make the switch, OR they think its the same thing as Methadone. Real quick about Methadone... I don't have much experience with it at all, before the Suboxone treatment I tried Methadone 10mg a day and it just made me so DULL. Like.. I would be driving and realize I'm not even listening to music or like 20 mins. Then when I put on a song I just had no emotional attachment to any of them. It actually felt stronger than Oxycodone and it lasted all day. I took 1 a day for about 3-4 days before going back to Oxycodone, and I felt the weirdest comedown EVER! I honestly felt like my depth perception was off and seeing all the type of people at the methadone clinic was just depressing. That was the last I ever touched one of those things ever, and it didn't even help my pain. I swear it felt like I had more aches while on it.

Ok I am just rambling now, lol...sorry I had no structure for this post, I would just start typing when things came to mind... and know I wrote so much I'm too lazy to proof read it. lol. I know there are more things out there I want to mention but I'll post them when they pop to mind. I could sit here all day and ramble but I don't want to write you a book to read so I'll stop now! Thanks again all you people for the great responses. Seems like there's some really good people on this forum!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun May 20, 2012 5:35 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster
User avatar

Joined: Fri May 18, 2012 5:59 pm
Posts: 16
Location: USA
ps. I also really enjoy the way that one model on Celebrity Rehab (2 & 3) stated her definition of sober. On the "where are they now" show they filmed, she admitted she takes Suboxone and people tell her "she's not sober" while on it. She goes on to say "If this is not sober, I don't know what is" .... "is being sober being in a suicidal hell?" She goes on to say this is the closest to sober she will ever be so pretty much "F you" to the haters.

I can relate to this. Even though I am not suicidal, I know how she feels. It kind of goes back to what I said about what's wrong with taking medicine if it freaking works & you are living the same as a "sober person"?!

Something else that bugged me a while ago, and forced me to want to be medication-free, was when my Doctor asked me "so do you consider yourself an independent person?" I said yes of course. He said "Well no you're not, you come see me every month, you depend on me to write these medications for you." That's when I really was beating myself up over quitting. He was my oxycodone doctor though and he did make a point. He was honest with me and told me it doesn't hurt him to write me medicine, it only hurts myself. So his words held some weight on me. I started thinking hypothetically like "oh man what if someone picks me up and drops me off in the middle east or somewhere, could I survive? Will I be weak? How would I feel?" and I'd go back to the independent comment and just feel mentally weak. I now have a lot more confidence in myself regarding my future and current state. I try to look at the positives in things rather than the negatives, but at the same time I'm VERY realistic with myself so sometimes its hard...

Oh yeah I forgot.. do you take Suboxone or Subutex? I was on Suboxone forever but at age 25 I lost my insurance under my parents and I could no longer afford Suboxone.... but they make a cheap affordable Subutex. In my honest opinion I feel like the Subutex might be a lil stronger for pain relief but it might just be in my head. Subutex is the exact same thing but without the Naloxone in it. What are your thoughts about this? Is Subutex worse or better? I have never tried to abuse a Subutex or Suboxone and I've never even heard of anyone doing so... but then again I don't talk about my medications in public anymore so I probably wouldn't know... it's just weird they only make one in generic form. This stuff is expensive!


Top
 Profile  
 
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun May 20, 2012 8:55 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Tue May 15, 2012 8:46 pm
Posts: 12
Hi hockeyplayer17! I started out on subutex when I was in rehab and then when I was released my doctor prescribed suboxone because of my insurance. To be honest with you, I really don't remember what subutex felt like compared to suboxone. I've been on subxone for almost two years and while life is not perfect (the financial mess I'm trying to clean up is gargantuan) the difference between when I was popping hydros, percocets and valiums and being on subs is almost night and day. All I did during my addiction was sleep. My daughter was just entering her teen years and her mom slept. And towards the end of my active addiction, I started to become mean. Like I couldn't control my temper and I would yell horrible things and have breakdowns (and a couple of times I was threatened with having her taken away and me put in the pych ward). The constant search for pills or the money to buy pills...(shudders) This year my yard has flowers in it again, I take my daughter to school, I painted my kitchen, I feel like I have GOALS again. I never thought about anything to do with the future besides when/how/where I was going to get my pills again. I still have cravings now and then but I truly feel like for ME, they are purely mental. Like some movies will trigger me and I sit down and remember "oh, that's because of that one night I took like 2 percocets everytime such and such happened" or the first summer I was home and sober and had a hard time mowing my lawn because I remembered the breakdown and fit I threw by the shed when I was running low on pills. And sometimes the cravings will come into my head for no known reason. But I truly feel that (FOR ME) without suboxone I would be actively pill popping again.

There were some people in the meetings I went to who didn't believe that being on suboxone was sober. But I steered clear of them because I just don't agree. If you're not abusing them (which I think there are a couple of threads here where some explain why they abuse them despite the ceiling effect?) I agree that they can help improve life. I had never really given thought to the independent aspect of it before but I guess it is true. But like you I try really hard to look at the positive and not the negative. And my life, while not ideal, is far better. :)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2012 8:23 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:55 pm
Posts: 4933
Location: Leesburg, FL
Quote:
"...when my Doctor asked me "so do you consider yourself an independent person?" I said yes of course. He said "Well no you're not, you come see me every month, you depend on me to write these medications for you."


That's the biggest bunch of bullshit I've heard in a long while!!! What about my anti-depressants or my beta blocker? I go to my doctor at regular increments (same as my sub - q 3 mos) to get my scripts. Does that make me not independent? If I were to stop those meds suddenly, guess what? I'd feel that, too!

Taking a pill we get from a doctor doesn't have shit to do with being independent or not. What a fucking asshole your doctor is, excuse me for saying.

_________________
-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2012 10:41 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jul 15, 2010 5:08 am
Posts: 1503
The opposite of independent is dependent. We are dependent on Suboxone, ie we need Suboxone to get by on a daily basis, unless we're willing to endure withdrawal. So by proxy we are dependent on those who provide it, our doctors, the pharmacies and the manufacturers. This is the reality of our situation.

By being further dependent on others, as we are by being dependent on medications (be they Suboxone or anti-depressants or insulin), we do add a layer of dependence... so in turn it erodes some of our independence.

What your (hockeyplayer17)'s doctor said isn't completely true though, in that if people on Suboxone are not independent, then NOBODY is independent. Everyone depends on the supermarket for food, and the taps for water, and the servo for petrol, and depends their wives to drop the kids off in the morning just as they depend on you to pick-them up at 3:30pm. Nobody is 100% independent.

But by being on Suboxone, we add another layer of dependence into our lives. So we are in a way less independent than if we were not on Suboxone.

That said your doctor sounds like an ass... It's almost like he's said it to show what kinda power he has over you... Reminds me a bit of this asshole physician assistant we had grace this board once upon a time. :roll:


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2012 10:47 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:55 pm
Posts: 4933
Location: Leesburg, FL
I hear what you're saying, TJ, however, being "dependent" on a medication, like, for example, my beta blocker, as I said earlier, doesn't make me less of AN INDEPENDENT INDIVIDUAL. Who cares about being dependent on little shit like that. I also depend on my car and the gas I put in it. It doesn't negate the fact that I consider myself an independent woman.

At least that's how I see it. Sometimes it's just a matter of different perspective and choosing to view the world and oneself in a positive light rather than CHOOSING to see things in a negative light. Again, that's just my view.

_________________
-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2012 12:32 am 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Sat May 26, 2012 12:11 am
Posts: 5
I was on methadone forten years before the sub. it turned on me in year eight...in that I started getting the 'sweats', the weight gain, the mental fog...I was trying to get my masters degree and I had to quit. o that's wh en I started the sub.still can't think!

I'm pretty sure sub will do it one day...I'm dependent on the shit, I worry that I'll be somewhere and go into w/d's if I forget my pills. I hate being chained to the dr everymonth and the higher amounts of sub are so uneccessary for so many people.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2012 6:52 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:55 pm
Posts: 4933
Location: Leesburg, FL
evilann- meds don't "turn on" people. Methadone is a full agonist, so you were likely building a tolerance to it. Suboxone is a partial agonist and that shouldn't ever happen when taking it just for addiction. Please keep an open mind.

And think of your sub this way: It's no different than any other medication you would get from your doctor, like an antidepressant or a blood pressure pill. This is one of the reasons why we should take it once in the morning and forget about it. Then we DON'T think of it any differently. I take numerous pills from my doctors for various medical conditions and often I even forget to take my sub. It's just another pill to me. I see my doctor anyway, so sub is just another med to me. Try to think of it that way.

Good luck to you. :)

_________________
-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed May 30, 2012 12:41 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jul 15, 2010 5:08 am
Posts: 1503
The fact that I can't travel to Thailand, Bali, Vietnam .. actually most of Asia and a large number of countries in the world ... I would consider that an infringement on my independence. If I had a job offer overseas, I'd have to decline because of being on Suboxone unless I detox. That does curb independence.

These are big reasons why I choose not to stay on Suboxone indefinitely.

Plus there's the fact (for me) I have to go to a pharmacy 3-5 times a week to get dosed. That's a pretty big dent in my independence.

These are pretty big reasons why I consider Sub to be a stepping stone. Most people in my country do as well for these same reasons.

But for people who don't have any want to travel to such countries then Sub isn't really an infringement on their freedom.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 27 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Our Sponsors
Suboxone Forum latest topics RSS feed Subscribe to the entire forum
 

 

 
Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group