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 Post subject: The New Guy
PostPosted: Tue Aug 17, 2010 3:20 pm 
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Hello all, my name is ben and im new to this forum. First off I have 2 say thanks 2 all of u for sharing your experiences and information. It wasnt until i found this site that i found out about suboxone, and now soberiety is a realistic goal. So, THANK YOU!! I was in an industrial accident that resulted in the amputation of my left foot in June of '04 and had been on perscription painkillers ever since. eventually i was taken off them but by then i was addicted and found other means of obtaining them. After learning about suboxone i read everything i could find and decided 2 give it a shot. i had been trying 2 quit on my own for nearly a year with minimal success. I found that i could stay clean for about three weeks at a time before my willpower would fade. And those were terrible times bcuz every time the physical w/d symptoms would start 2 fade id fall off the wagon again. So i finally realized that i couldnt do it on my own and i needed help. Now ive been in the suboxone program for about 35 days and was sober for about ten days b4 that. I feel like i have a real shot at staying sober now. I never thought there were people like me that i could talk 2 and share experiences with literally at the tips of my fingers. So again, thank you all!! And in my eyes you are all warriors fighting the good fight and you should all be proud of yourselves. If anyone wants 2 respond with some advice or questions, or anything please feel free. Ill keep posting on my progress. And my thoughts and prayers will be with all of you. and again THANKS!! P.S please excuse my lack of typing skills lol Benny


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Aug 17, 2010 3:57 pm 
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Joined: Fri May 28, 2010 10:38 pm
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Welcome to the forum and I'm so sorry to hear about your accident. You will read alot of people became addicted the very same way. Started out taking opiates for a legit reason and realized one day they have crossed that line into addiction. This is a great site with some very smart and caring people sharing thier experience, strength, and hope. Please don't look at yourself as weak for not being able to "will" yourself off of opiates. My AA sponsor always says it's like taking a whole bottle of laxatives and trying to use your will power not to go to the bathroom. I know it's a crude metaphor but that's how he explains it to people that don't understand addiction. Again, welcome and congrats on the 35 days sober.

_________________
"Why can't I worship the Lord like most people, by praying like hell on my death bed"
-Homer Simpson-


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Aug 17, 2010 5:35 pm 
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Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:55 pm
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Hi Benny and welcome to the forum. It's a great place with supportive and empathetic people. As Smoothy said, addiction is not a matter of will power and it's not about our character. It's a disease that is about the brain....the cravings are physical and they are REAL. So don't beat yourself up too badly. I think you gave it a good shot. Suboxone is a terrific tool to put us into "addiction remission". No more lying, cheating, stealing, or buying drugs!

Some of us (like myself) also choose to go to therapy (some go to meetings) as an adjunct to our sub treatment. For me, I used drugs to stifle my emotions due to traumatic memories/events. So therapy has been extremely beneficial for me.

I wish you well in your treatment. Again, welcome. I hope you stick around and keep posting.

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-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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 Post subject: Welcome!
PostPosted: Tue Aug 17, 2010 7:32 pm 
Hi Benny,

I was so glad when I found this forum too! I have been addicted off and on my whole life and am now getting some help with suboxone. I also go to AA, have a sponsor, and see a counselor. My suboxone doctor is also super helpful to me and will communicate by email if I have a question that can't wait until I see him again. This fourm is a super place to get support and learn alot about what addiction really is. As others have said, it was not your lack of will power that caused you to relapse. Addiction is a brain disease...a disease that takes work and energy to manage. Just like if you had diabeties. I feel like suboxone, my antidepressant, my sponsor, the meetings, and my relapse prevention group are all playing a role in saving my life. Finally, I am on the right road.

Anyway....

Now am looking for a suboxone support group in my area. I find that AA is a great place and it has helped me alot. I just don't agree with their view that I am not "sober" if I am on suboxone. I don't let it get to me, but I have only shared it with a few people, including my soponsor. I was wondering, do you go to any counseling or type of support group? have you been to AA/NA before? Does your doctor make you do counseling? Some doctors do require it, and some dont.

Again Benny, its good to "meet" you. I will be looking for ya! lol Kire


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Aug 17, 2010 8:45 pm 
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Joined: Fri May 28, 2010 10:38 pm
Posts: 181
Location: Cleveland suburb
Kire,
the next time some old timer in AA tells you that you are not sober because of taking suboxone, tell him he is not sober because of his blood pressure medication or the diabetic in the room is not sober because of insulin. I love AA but that shit drives me crazy. I've seen people talked out of taking thier anti-depresants before and I even witnessed a guy, who is bipolar, stop taking his meds to satisfy some of the old timers. He wound up in a mental ward 10 days later with a huge list of criminal charges awaiting him. To thy own self be true. I am on suboxone and I am 6 1/2 years sober. Ive never been more sure about anything in my life. I could care less what a couple of judgemental people in the rooms think. Keep up the good work.

_________________
"Why can't I worship the Lord like most people, by praying like hell on my death bed"
-Homer Simpson-


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Aug 18, 2010 7:52 am 
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Joined: Tue Feb 16, 2010 2:20 pm
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Benny:
I can definitely relate to your story. I often refer to myself as "The Relapse King" because I spent many, many years struggling to stay away from opiates, and only had limited success at doing it. I would stay clean for a week or two, then binge on pills (Oxycontin, mostly) for a month, then sweat it out for a few days, and just when the withdrawal had faded, BANG! :wink: I'd relapse. I did this at least a hundred times, maybe more. And I was in counseling the whole time and going to a private substance abuse group (that I pay money to attend) and some of the people in my group were on suboxone and they suggested I give it a try. WOW!! :shock: The difference was, to put it bluntly, astonishing. Basically, I got my life back.

Kire:
I have decades of experience with AA and NA. I attended my first AA meeting in 1979. Over the years, as more and more drug addicts have started attending the meetings, many of the "old timers" have become downright combative at times about medication-assisted recovery. Not everyone in AA is this way, but sadly, many are, and the program tends to be very, very....clique-ish. Many will look down on people who are taking any kind of mind or mood altering substances, including suboxone, methadone, and most of the antidepressants. What I suggest to people who attend AA meetings and are taking suboxone or methadone is keep that information to yourself. What's important is not what someone else thinks about your recovery, but what YOU think about your recovery.


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