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 Post subject: The little things
PostPosted: Sun Jun 27, 2010 1:49 am 
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I was thinking the other day about all the little things that sobriety has brought back into my life. We always discuss the big ones (health, money, family, legal) and while those things are amazing to get control of through sobriety, I tend to live and appriciate the little things in life. Music and comedy or getting lost in a good movie or book. Those are things that just went away while using. I probably sound like a simpleton but my absolute favorite part of my day is when I get home from work I have the house to myself for an hour. I hit the sofa with my two pugs lying next to me and put in a Simpons or Futurama DVD. And yes I am 39. I never had down time like that before, always running here or there to score or try to scrape up some money (without my wife knowing). Don't get me wrong the big things are great but those little things are amazing to experience again. What are some little things sobriety has brought back to your life?
P.S. Not to be crude but having a sex drive again isn't to shabby either.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 1:36 pm 
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I totally agree--the little things in life and the good moments are what make life good. than ks for mentioning this. One of the worst things about my addiction was how it destroyed my creative life. I still feel i lost a lot....but...when my addiction went into remission for a while I got my creative life back but with a new area of interest--music instead of visual arts! Now I'm doing both...

but you are so right..the big things are important--finances, having your home together, career, and relationships of course..and...being able to be HONEST with your loved ones is a big plus...but what keeps me going is the good moments and yes, the small things that i appreciate....sometimes it's just having the right kind of food that makes me so happy..

Anyway, I think life always comes back to a matter of balance...You have to look at the big picture, but also notice the details.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 2:38 pm 
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Thanks for bringing this up. I think it's so important to be aware of the positive changes in our lives that come with addiction remission. For me, I'm so grateful to have my memory and attention to detail back. My mind feels sharp again, if you know what I mean. The drugs took away my memories from more than 3 years of my life, it's like it's just gone. I only remember bits and pieces of things before I started suboxone. Which is why I'm immensely thankful to have my mind back at full power.

I believe that if we take these positive changes for granted or fail to acknowledge them, then our recovery isn't as strong as it could be. Does that make any sense?

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 03, 2010 7:13 pm 
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Great thread!

Well, the number one thing, and may not be little but I have to mention, is being able to take my kids out to play and play with them without being high. Cleaning and tackling projects at home with out being high.

I also (like Hat said) enjoy having my memory back. When I was getting high off of any pill I could find I had a shitty memory. I do something or put something somewhere (something important) and not remember the next day!

Im glad to have those things back.

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 07, 2010 2:44 pm 
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I had another maybe not-so-little thing that came to me today that I'm so thankful I have back - pride in my appearance! So many people I talk to experienced an apathy towards their appearance while we were using - no make-up, hair undone, etc. I now wouldn't be caught dead looking like I used to look back then. How did I not notice!? I'm like a new person in many respects.

I think this thread is a great opportunity for all of us to identify some of the things we got back or gained since we started recovery/remission. Thanks again, Smoothy, for starting this.

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 08, 2010 6:03 am 
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It's now 5:50am and I'm leaving to take my 9 year old to his golf league and the work 10 hours after that. While it's not my favorite day of the week (being on my feet for 12 hours straight) Thursdays are a definate reminder of what can be accomplished while sober. I would never been able to handle a day like today with out mass quantities of amps and percs. And to see my son alldecked out in his red Nike tiger woods shirt and hit some great golf shots is absolutely one of those little things I was thinking about when I started this thread. Have a great day everyone!


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 01, 2010 6:37 pm 
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I agree with you completely. It's those little things that I've missed as well. Even being able be in the right mental zone to enjoy and appreciate those little things without my mind constantly thinking about when I'm going to run out of pills, how many I've got left, what hospitals haven't I hit recently, etc, etc, etc. The constant never-ended cycle of drug addiction got in the way of so many things that life has to offer. I am thankful, now, that I can kick back and relax with friends and family or just by myself and enjoy "life on life's terms". I never really understood what that meant until I found myself again through being clean and in recovery.


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 06, 2010 11:59 pm 
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This time of year the PGA has a tournement about 40 miles from where I live. I always take my 9 year old son so he can see some of his hero's up close. On Thursday we got to the 7th tee a half hour before tiger woods was playing that hole. We were not more than 5 feet from him for about 3 or 4 minutes. After his tee shot my son yelled "good shot tiger" and he looked at my son and smiled. My son was so thrilled I thought he was going to faint. When we got home we watched it on tv and there he was right on camera. Things like that would have never happend years ago. I would have never of gotten that thrill of watching my son experience something like that. I would have never taken him to something like that, I would have made up some excuse or pawned him off on his grandparents for the day while I did my thing. I was thinking on the drive home that you never know when moments like that are going to occur but one things for sure, they wouldn't happen if I was using. Like they say anythings possible when your sober. If you are living a clean life, with or without suboxone, I'll bet if you try at the end of every day you can think of something great that happend because your sober. Even if it's enjoying a movie or throwing the tennis ball with your dog, some little thing has happend that wouldn't have when you were using.


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 4:20 am 
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Another old-but-good topic from the archives! :D

What little things has recovery brought back to your life? What little thing made you smile today?

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 5:17 am 
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[font=Comic Sans MS]See Diary? It's the little things that you do, like bringing back a great thread, for all of us to appreciate, that make you pure awesome!!!!

I don't even know where to begin when it comes to the little things that I have gotten back. One big thing that I can mention is seeing my 18 month old grow up! I am so thankful that I won't miss that! I can easily break that same thing down into little moments....His first word, his first tooth, the first time he crawled, the first step he took, the first time he kissed and hugged me back. And just yesterday, he said "I love you" for the first time! Completely melted my heart!

Besides the obvious things that have already been mentioned like finances, stability, family, there is one thing that I do have back that is very important to me. That is my self respect, and love for myself. I no longer allow people to walk all over me. Most people who know me, know that I don't like confrontation. Some people will try to take advantage of that in me. Like try to pick an argument with me, just to satisfy there own sick personality. Like my mom. LOL! So now that I am clean, I am able to spot that in people when it happens, and walk away from it. I do understand that those people are sick, and that they need help, but the fact that I have so much respect and love for myself, to not allow people to treat me that way, is HUGE for me. I will take it for a little, but eventually, I will cut my ties, because there are no losses with walking away from people like this, and move on. I'm pretty good at pretending people are dead, or like they never existed~LOL! Especially the crazies! Now my mom, I HAVE to deal with, but everyone else can take a hike as far as I'm concerned. They aren't real friends anyway.

It is things like this that are important to me because they contribute to my overall happiness. Love of self is so important. I used to get sucked in to other people's drama too, but I no longer do that either. I do what DiaryofaQuitter suggested, nod and let it go in one ear and out the other. Some people just like drama, and everything is a crisis in their world. They are not happy unless everyone is foused on them, and they have something going on. And it's almost always negative.

Now that I am clean, I am able to remove myself from these types of people. I no longer have any negative people in my life. I had stated this in a thread a while back too. I cannot even begin to tell you how important inner peace is with me. And I FINALLY have inner peace. No anxiety. No negative friends. In fact, that brings up another bonus of sobriety~My friends!!! I LOVE my friends!!! The four girlfriends that I have since high school, of course Amber from this forum, and my bff in Georgia! My relationships with them are healthy, drama free, and so positive! I hated how negative all my relationships were when I was using and first getting clean.

Someone already said getting lost in a good book~I just read three books last week! I haven't done that in years! And I loved it!

Great thread to revive Diary!!! It helps me to be more grateful too, just typing this out. Double bonus!!! LOL! Yes, all of the non physical things. It's all about loving other people, helping other people, and loving myself again...[/font]

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 10:23 am 
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This past Friday I went to the local high school football game because my daughter is in band and they were doing a little half time show. My daughter isn't in marching band, just regular band, but the high school had offered for the middle school band kids to join in and as soon as my wife and I heard this, we knew it was gonna be funny. You see, my daughter has the coordination of her daddy and she can BARELY walk and chew gum at the same time, so, to be in marching band was gonna be a sight to see.

Sure enough, as the marching band takes the field, my daughter sticks out like a sore thumb because she's got her eyes glued to kid in front of hers feet and she is WAY overexagerrating her stepping. All around the field they march, my daughter looking like a little Nazi who's goosestepping and we were almost in tears from laughing. Thank goodness she didn't see us!!

During my time zoned out on drugs, I rarely attended my daughters events, but I've been going to most all of her events here lately and while it's a little thing, it's also a really, really big thing.....and the laughs I get from my silly daughter are always awesome too!!

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 10:44 am 
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Nothing like the Friday night lights in America is there? Your story really made me smile, Romeo. My assistant coaches always give me grief for bringing the middle school kids into all areas of our program but seeing the joy on those kids faces as they do something so simple like lead us on the field in their favorite player (or big brothers) jersey is the highlight of my week- even more than the winning.

I'm sure your daughter was totally excited all week leading up to the show, and even afterwards. And rightfully so- it's a big deal. :-) good story.


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 12:59 pm 
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That's a great story Romeo! I can just picture her, and you guys laughing up in the stands. I'm also glad to know that I'm not the only one who cracks up in situations like that. We're not laughing AT you, we're laughing...NEAR you. :lol:

It's so wonderful that recovery has given you the opportunity to be more connected to your kid. My dad wasn't the most emotionally available guy, he was the "good provider" kind of dad, but he ALWAYS came to our school events and our sports events. I didn't realize it at the time, but considering the job that he had he probably had to be pretty committed to make all those softball games, band concerts and whatever else...for FIVE kids. Now that he's gone, I cherish the fact that I have so many memories of him just being there and being proud of me. So rock on and make sure you have a cover story in case she busts you laughing at her!

My little thing for today was going to be about my new kitty, and how for the first time in years I felt stable enough in my life to adopt a pet, and how much joy he's brought to my little family...

But then he threw up on the floor and I just cleaned it up, so maybe I'm not so sure! (kidding, kidding, still love him)

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 1:38 pm 
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There are SO many things I could list.....................

I guess thats the VERY awesome thing about recovery. But my 'little things' most days, has to do with ONE big thing.

a little on the backstory for this one...............
we were homeless at one point, my husband and I. in 2007,,, I had burned every bridge for us,, he just refused to 'give up' on us. and of course, no kid at the time. Anyways, the ONLY place we could afford, I guess is what is the equvilent to the 'ghetto' in the city. 'normal' rent around here, for an 'okay' apartment is about
$800/month an 'okay' house would be $1000 / month....... a NICE house will cost ya around 1200-1400 /month

so the ONLY place we could (not!) afford, was $450/month.
as you can IMAGINE, it was not a nice place. A little over 500 square feet, with mold, and lead paint on the outside, they made you sign forms saying so, even.
after we moved in, we also battled cochroaches, which are damn near UNHEARD OF, in the cold nortwest.

anyways, we lived there, from 2007,,,, I had my son in 2008 (dec) and FINALLY got on suboxone april of 2011.
one of my biggest reasons for 'getting clean' was to GET OUTTA THAT APARTMENT!!!!
we were ten miles outside of town too, no bus service, and only one car. So I was the only one working, for about a year. there wasnt even a way for mike to GET a job, let alone go to it, every day.
well, my boss let me get on the big condo job,
where i kicked ASS, and made bonuses, every two weeks.
every ONE of those bonuses, I gave to my grandma. to SAVE, to get outta there.
that last YEAR, was tough as hell.
battling the roaches, listening to my son cough, from the black mold, Im SURE.

so,,, this last June, we found a few trailers or moblie homes for sale in this nice lil park, they all have thier own yard, and they are set up like lil houses. you pay 300 bucks 'space rent'
and you buy the place. well, after my 6000 dollars in dental work, I had just over 4 grand left, from my savings.
JUST ENOUGH, to buy one of these places!!!!!
I cannot put into words, how great it feels to have my 3 year old son, play in his yard,
ride his bike,
tell me he "loves his new house''
everyday when I pull in the driveway, Im at peace.
seriously
that last year, going home to the apartment, there were about 35 of them, and I knew at least 20 of the other 'families' out there, saw many come and go, and knew EVERYONE that had any kind of pill or heroin, or habit.
becuase back when I was using, if you didnt have to 'go into town' you were ahead on money, LOL

Anyways, its not the 'taj-ma hall' by any means.
But it's mine, and nobody can take it.
Its about 1000 square feet, everything has a 'place' my son has a room to play in, a bed to sleep in, with no roaches, or MOLD.
He doesnt cough nearly as much, and he doesnt have to get blood drawn every six months for lead testing.

these are MANY little things, that make me SO VERY happy.
we even have CABLE. a luxury, we never had before I got on suboxone. and now mike has a decent job, we didnt even have to get a second car, cuz he drives elderly and disabled folks to thier doctor's appointments, so he drives the van home.

This one BIG change, promoted SO MANY small ones.
we have grandma over for dinner once in awhile, which is so great. She wouldnt leave her car, when we lived in the apartment complex. (not that I blame her)

last month, I bought sam a kiddie pool, and let him fill it up on the hot days, play out in the yard with the dog and the pool.
he put a lawn chair in the middle of the pool, and told me he was 'takin a break'
LOL
just watching him play in that pool, and chase the dog around, was worth everything I THOUGHT about buying with those bonuses from that job. This has been WELL worth the sacrifice of not having new shoes, or a new DVD.

And now that mike's working, we DO buy new shoes, when we need them, or WHATEVER it is, that we need.
we are NOT on any type of public assistance, for the first time in about 10 years.
Not, that there is ANYTHING wrong with that, Im not saying that ,,, by ANY means. there were alot of times for us, the only reason we ate was becuase of the food bank.
Also, one thing I want to add,,,,,,
last year, the only reason Sam had a christmas, was becuase he was on the 'giving tree'
I cried, when we got the bag of toys brought to us. it was my FIRST sober christmas, and I didnt even have the $$$ to buy him anything. my hours got cut a little, and I was the only one working. Anyways, I thanked them, and thanked them.
He really did get a GARBAGE bag, full of presents.
So, this year, I decided,
Sam, and I are doing that, for another child. Im going to let HIM be a part of that.
Im really looking forward to it, too.
the only thing I wanted to buy him last year, was a 'mr. potato head'
they were like $30 ............. and I didnt have enough money.
guess what ONE of the things was in the bag????
yep, a HUGE mr. potato head. he still plays with it!!!

I think part of our 'recovery' needs to be giving back, too. its such a great feeling to help somebody else.

Thanks for letting me share

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hold it together, when everyone would understand if you fell apart
That's TRUE STRENGTH
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 1:59 pm 
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Ok amber, I'm wiping tears outta my eyes.... Between you and romeo, I'm gonna be crying for the next 2 hours!! Lol! You guys are so great! Thanks for reminding me how great being clean is with our kids!

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 5:23 pm 
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Holy Mackerel Amber, you are DA BOMB!!! You have come so far, in such a short time and I'm just.....just.....SO FUCKING PROUD OF YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is a super cool thread!! I really enjoy reading all y'alls stories!!

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 6:25 pm 
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Thanks you guys, and ROMEO, your story CRACKED me up,,,,, Im the uncoordinated one in our family,,,,, LOL

I even tripped when I graduated high school, LOL

EVERYBODY has written really cool stuff on here. This is a very good go-to thread when you start to feel down about something.
(you tube, still a good source, too) lol

Ive enjoyed reading everyone's story.

One more thing Im excited about,,,,,,,,, CHRISTMAS LIGHTS!!!!! lol
we put'm up last year at grandma's house ,, for Sam, and I did string up some in our kitchen window of our apartment.
But,,, Im super excited to decorate this year.

we have pumkins in our windows right now, the lil jelly sticky things!! Sam's so excited to carve a pumpkin!!!
we did one last year, but couldnt leave it outside, cuz the nieghborhood banchees like to throw them in the road. happened the year before, but sam was just a baby.

Anyways, Lovin' life these days :wink:

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anyone can give up,
its the easiest thing in the world to do, but to
hold it together, when everyone would understand if you fell apart
That's TRUE STRENGTH
http://almostoneyearclean.blogspot.com/


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 30, 2012 7:12 am 
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exept for waking up in pain and going to sleep i have gained in my music and other things i would not have done on suboxone :)

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