It is currently Sat Aug 19, 2017 1:46 am



All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Our Sponsors





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 2 posts ] 
Author Message
 Post subject: The futures bright
PostPosted: Wed May 11, 2011 9:43 am 
Offline
New Poster
New Poster

Joined: Wed May 11, 2011 6:51 am
Posts: 1
Seventeen years ago I was a medic in the british army preparing myself for a posting to Vitez in bosnia. I just wanted to get out there and do my job. I was 20 years old. Never in my worst nightmares could I have ever imagined how bad it was. I started having real nightmares of the events that happened in the surrounding areas around vitez and kept seeing peoples faces in my head all the time. Then came the guilt. The guilt that I did not do enough. I went and told an army doctor what was going on in my head and that I just wanted to die. The doctor was a senior officer who told me that I needed a good woman. A good woman , there is nothing wrong with a good woman I am married to one I love but this was not the treatment I required. I had to end my career a year later or it was over for me.I needed real help. Fast forward to 2001. I had a baby and had been married for 3 years , was working in a local hospital. Sounds great. It should have been , but no it was not. There was nothing wrong with my family life , I just could not get the images out my head and the nightmares persisted .One night I went round to my brothers for a beer. He was smoking heroin with this guy who he was working with.God knows why I smoked it when it was offered to me , but when I did the faces went away , the dreams stopped straight away and that night when I went home and I slept very well.The next day I felt fresh and had loads of energy at work.I started doing smack regular and after about 3 weeks I experienced my first withdrawl. Also around this time all my problems came back with a vengance. I had now created a new problem that was very serious. Little did I know in the early days of addiction how serious this was to become. Eight years later after having enough of the utter misery that is the so called (Heroin) lifestyle and the fact my son was turning five and going to start school at the end of the summer , I built up the courage to enter into a detox and lifestyle change. I was offered either methadone or subutex and opted for subutex. After a couple of months I had to go for a 3 day tolerance test and on each of the three days the dose was increased until my withdrawl had gone.It still took about six months to get rid of the psychological dependance but this was what I really wanted.The subutex I would say , are amazing.They allowed me to exit the rotation of heroin addiction , the never ending cycle of being an addict. It took about 2 weeks to stop craving heroin once the subbies built up in my system.The sheer relief of not living the addict life was amazing for my loving family and me. I still had the army demons to deal with but this is included in the service. I live in southern scotland where this service is free. All done at home with family support. The programme gave me the tools to deal with my addiction and my PTSD (If more governments of the world spent money on a free service like this treating people as diseased rather than criminals and locking them up then lives could be changed). I started on 16 mgs once a day (once a day is enough,they last a long time) reducing 2mgs at a time over 2 1/2 years (when I felt ready). Eventually I got down to 2 mgs , then 2 wks thereafter at 1.4mgs , 0.8mgs and finally 0.4mgs. There was always small withdrawl from every dose drop but barely noticeable. Never once during this time did I take any other drug or alcohol.Clean to me means CLEAN. I wanted to live life without poison damaging my mind and body. I finished my script on the 2 may 2011. It's been ten days now totally free from opioids and never had one craving. Unfortunatly I cant say the same for withdrawl the first 5 days being the worse but no where near what a heroin withdrawl is like. the last 5 days have been lots of RLS , tension , mixed sleep and heaviness. It is getting much easier though. With heroin withdrawl I couldn't even get out of bed,eat,drink etc. At one time my life felt like despair and emptiness had engulfed me forever , but subutex changed that. I hope that if anyone reads this story feeling how I did with addiction and other problems , that there is help out there and that life is worth living. Dont give up. (I now feel extremely confident I will never ever use again I am happy again). Good luck to anyone coming of the subbies (or any other opioid it can be done).


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed May 11, 2011 1:50 pm 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster

Joined: Sun Apr 17, 2011 4:21 pm
Posts: 43
Bravo Stevie- Its not easy coming out on the other side and congratulations are due. Its been 30 days off sub for me and I can tell you it will gradually get better. Most definitely worth the effort!


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 2 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Our Sponsors
Suboxone Forum latest topics RSS feed Subscribe to the entire forum
 

 

 
Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group