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 Post subject: To scruffy
PostPosted: Wed May 16, 2012 4:42 pm 
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^^^ I think my doctor is a very good one for me. As noted in the induction thread started by sooverthis, I spent some time calling around and interviewing doctors. Of the approximately 10 doctors I called, I managed to speak on the phone with half of them (the others wouldn’t return my calls or I was met with something like, “you’ll have to make an appointment and pay to see the doctor to discuss this” – goodbye to those docs!), and this doctor seemed like the right fit for me. I live in a large urban area, and found at least 30 sub doctors within a 15 mile radius of where I live or work, so I was fortunate in that respect. I realize that those who live in less populated areas will not have such a luxury of choice. :(


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PostPosted: Wed May 16, 2012 4:58 pm 
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This is the 4th day that I haven’t used sub. Last night, I was feeling a little bit edgy, so I took a sleeping pill. Today I have been experiencing some mild anxiety and slightly elevated heart rate. I don't know if this is related to the psychology of going without my “safety net” of sub, or if these are mild withdrawal symptoms related to the cessation of sub. I will be discussing this with my doctor tomorrow. In the meantime, things are tolerable so I do not plan to take any sub at this time. If this is the maximum extent of the physical withdrawal symptoms that I will experience from stopping sub, then I will be able to endure these symptoms.


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 Post subject: UPDATE
PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2012 3:31 am 
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Well, back on the sub, 1.5 mg every other day. The w/d symptoms from the sub became too much to bear. Am now developing a 1 or 2 month taper plan with my doctor and psychologist. Oh well, I tried! :)


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PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2012 6:11 am 
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After reading thru your entire thread I can see allot of similarities to my Suboxone Journey, and also a few glaring differences too. I was on a Heavy use of 60mg/day Methadone for Pain Management, my Pain Doctor was an absolute idiot never would listen to my thoughts had no regard for what I wanted or thought of getting my perspective. So after about 2 years of this Medical Slavery I jumped ship and here I am on the Suboxone Journey with the rest of you. I too was so worried about Precipitated W/Ds because I didn't take the suggested time to start my Suboxone. I did taper own to the 30mg suggested Methadone useage before hand but that was Only for a few days. I too like You started Suboxone at a very Low Dose of 2mg, it did Nothing for me, 3 hours later I took another 2mg still nothing, the Methadone W/Ds started kicking in and I got worried so in the first 30 hours I screwed up and took 30mg of Suboxone. Finally I found that 16mg/day of Suboxone was the minimal to get me over the Hump of Methadone W/Ds. Methadone stays in your system forever so basically my only concern is How long will it take for the Methadone to get out. I would have Gladly traded one drug for another to get off of Methadone, it is a very insidious drug that IMHO should NEVER be administered. As there are so many other very useful drugs that do not have the serious side effects that |Methadone does. However; I can relate to you on many levels. Wanting to be drug free soon, to get on with my life, etc. You and I sound allot alike in that I am Very Impatient, I have a very hard time waiting in lines for food, events, etc. I want it and I want it NOW ! And all the other aspects of my ife are the same, even to the point where I expect things to happen right then and there. But with Suboxone I realize that it will take a while to taper down so that one day I can rather than Jump Ship again, just Dock that sucker and walk off and NOT Look Back. I honestly hope that You Too can look at Suboxone this way too. Your last few posts seemingly are going in that direction of NOT putting a time limit on your Journey. Continue to HANG in There, YOU have been an Inspiration to me since I found this Forum. Reading your thread and posts have helped me gain insight into Sub and what it can and Can't do. For instance here on My Day 6 I just had a bad case of RLS syndrome, it was awful but I attribute it to the Methadone acting up again, crawling it's way out of my lower extremities.
Keep Up the Good Fight my Friend, I know that one day when this has all past and Your Son is Older that he will Respect You so much for taking back your life so that You could be in his ike You and He both want and need. Right now, don't worry too much about being selfish but do the things that get you Clean, if it means being a little self centered from time to time then so be it. Thnxx for Sharing Your Story, it has helped me with my Story !


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 Post subject: UPDATE
PostPosted: Fri Jun 22, 2012 4:28 am 
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Now down to .25mg a day in my taper. No problems doing it, except for 1-2 days of mild diarrhea within a few days of lowering my dose.

I feel so lucky and blessed right now. Four months ago I was taking 80-100 10mg Norcos a day, burning through cash like crazy, severely depressed, and not sure how I was going to extricate myself from the mess I was in. Today, I'm in the final stage of my sub use, and since my induction almost exactly two months ago (April 23), very rarely have I even thought about taking opiates, and experienced only a two-day period early in my sub use where I "chased" a high from the sub. I don't even wake up in the morning thinking about taking my sub dose. Usually I only think about it when I become conscious of my lack of energy, then I take the sub and usual get an energy boost soon thereafter.

I've been taking an anti-depressant for a month now, and think it's finally starting to have a therapeutic effect. This is the second day in a row that I would consider a good day overall in terms of my energy and attitude. Still a long way to go, but whenever I get impatient with my progress (usually daily :) ), I try to remind myself how far I've already traveled in just 4 months.

In the next 10-14 days, I will stop taking sub. Will I relapse after that? I don't know. Will the cravings come after that? I don't know. There is so much going on in my life right now, I know little about what will happen to me as time passes. But I do know these things: (1) I do not want to take opiates for the wrong reasons. (2) I will take sub if I can't cope with any cravings that come. (3) I will continue my psychotherapy for probably several more years as I come to grips with, and learn to truly understand, myself and the triggers for my depression and addictive behaviors.

As I've reflected on my experiences over the past four months, my two months on sub, and as I look forward to an opiate-free life in the near future, among other things I've asked myself this question: if I found a few Norcos in my house (unlikely, but possible, given how addicts often squirrel away their DOCs), would I take them or toss them? I don't know the answer to that question, but if I were laying odds, I'd have to admit the significant possibility that I'd take them. That scares the crap out of me, but it also reminds and motivates me to continue with my psychotherapy and pushing to "live right" -- to create healthy living habits that will reinforce healthy, non-addictive behaviors.

But still many miles to go and an incredible amount of work to do ...

To all of you who supported me in this thread and by PMs, a million thanks for your support. I can't adequately describe what it's meant to me or the depth of my gratitude.

Namaste,
SI

P.S. Thanks for your kind words and support, One Day. I'm glad that sharing my story has helped you in some way, and hope you are doing well in your journey.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Aug 17, 2012 2:33 pm 
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Now on day 12 of no sub after having hit a wall when tapering from .50mg to .25mg. I stayed on .25mg for quite a while, extending the dosing cycle as time passed to every third day. Finally jumped and the only side effects now appear to be minor diarrhea and some difficulty getting to sleep (but good sleep once I do fall asleep). Other than that, feel pretty good.

Sub has been a real blessing, allowing me to go from a 1,000mg/day hydro habit for years to being truly opiate free in less than 120 days.

To those of you just starting your sub journey, can't emphasize enough the importance of educating yourself about sub, formulating a (flexible) plan for your dosing, and having goals in mind before induction. Also can't emphasize enough the value of good psychotherapy in order to understand the root causes of your addictive behavior(s). And please do consider the "Induction A B C" thread started by scruffy. He started a very important dialog for all users of suboxone, especially new users.

Finally, a million heartfelt thanks to all of you who supported me here. You made a profound difference in a very difficult period of my life. Thank you so much.

SI


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Sep 17, 2012 6:26 pm 
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A month later and doing well. No PAWS, no cravings, etc., despite several stressors in my life. Don't know if this good fortune has anything to do with the way I used sub or is just plain luck. Either way, I feel very lucky.

Day to day the march goes on.

My thanks again to all who showed support here!


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