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 Post subject: The Cure or The Poison?
PostPosted: Sun Oct 13, 2013 5:27 am 
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Hi all, I tapered from 8mg to 1mg and jumped off at 1mg 10 days ago. I have slept for a little under 5 hours over the last ten days? Ive CT from oxy before and while the w/d symptoms were worse, the lack of sleep makes me feel like I'm losing my mind which is brutal. I constantly catch myself bargaining, trying to tell myself that if I just use a little bit of OC now I can get through the rest of the withdrawal from suboxone.
While I've been able to hold off those thoughts by recognizing its just my inner addict, if i don't get some sleep soon I might give in.
What would happen if I took small, controlled doses of OC just to get me through the rest of sub detox?
Also, does anyone else feel that the drawn out sub detox is worse than cold turkey? in other words is the cure worse than the poison?
Thanks,
OxyClean


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 13, 2013 10:47 am 
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Unfortunately, OC will only prolong your WD's. I had the same thought a few months ago when I jumped off & it only prolonged things for me, while also making it worse when I no longer had it. The lack of sleep drives most of us insane. But you're ALMOST in the clear! It really shouldn't last much longer now with the RLS.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 13, 2013 9:30 pm 
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Hey Oxyclean22, and welcome here!

You make a valid point but it is still sick addict thinking. Listen to mamamonkey, the post made a lot of sense.

Have you talked to your doctor about the sleep issues? There are some good non narcotic drugs on the market that may help. Things like Melatonin, L-Tryptophan, calming tea, etc. Even Seroquel or Trazodone might help. Once again, ask your Dr.

I don't like mentioning benzos but they worked for me and a few others. You just can't take them for more than a week. Then it's hard to get your sleep pattern back to normal. For most of us, we haven't slept a normal nights sleep in years because of drug use. It will take some time to get it back.

Hang on, you can do this.

rule

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 13, 2013 10:12 pm 
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I take Melatonin & Magnesium and it does help. My brother-in-law gave me a couple Flexeril, which is a muscle relaxer and I'm 99% sure it's not in the benzo classification. That helped me tremendously when I had it the first few nights!!


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 25, 2013 8:39 am 
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Hi all,
Just wanted to give an update, I'm case any of you guys care or if someone reads this in the future and has to go through the same thing. I've been off the suboxone for around 22 or 23 days now. I'm finally starting to fall asleep more. The past week I've been getting around 4 hours of sleep per night and the past couple of days it's been closer to 6 hours each night. As a former opiate addict I used to love my sleep (12-14 hours a day) so 6 still feels like way too little but I feel great now. It's important to remember that the frustration that comes with not sleeping will go away if you give it some time.
Good luck and be safe out there!
Oxyclean


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 14, 2013 2:43 pm 
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There's no such thing as "small controlled doses" for an opiate addict.

Withdrawal is tough. But getting going on that path would make life much much worse.

Think about it. Why would you be able to control it now? Why would you be able to just do it a few times and stop? When is it over or enough?


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 27, 2014 2:51 am 
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There is a lot of great advice here.

So I'm going to offer some more.

I have multiple years in recovery. I have also quit suboxone cold turkey and tapered and quit and been on maintenece a lot with subxone. I've also quit dope cold turkey an quit dope in a detox. So you get my drift that I know what it's all like.

I also have multiple years in narcotics anonymous. So I'm going to combine all my experience to give you the best answer I possibly can. Because what you're going through is about suboxone, and NA. Both are necessary even If you don't want to hear it, it's true.
My first few NA meetings I walked in and treated them like the plague and had a mindset I didn't need it for awhile but - ha- wrong. When u quit sub NA is what keeps you clean, perhaps that's why you're wanting to take oc. I know this because thinking about taking oc is one thing, but actually planning to is another , and it's a bad idea.

You may think I'm wrong but that's ok. I too thought old timers were wrong at first. But, here's what will happen when you take the oc. How do I know ? Because you're an addict! Your addiction is a disease. It's a spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical disease with only three ends if you continue using- jails, institutions, and death. Pick one.

Nobody gets to choose which one will happen though, that's the sad sad part!

Your addiction is telling you you can just take a little oc and be ok. That's what it wants you to believe and for lack of a better term- you're being gullible and believing it. Don't even give it the time of day.

If you were to start taking small amounts of oc at any time, any way shape or form, then you're gonna need more and then more and then more and then bam you've relapsed. As soon as you take an oc it's a relapse no matter what you're taking it for! Unless you're in a car wreck and cut your arm off and take it for two weeks under a doctors care then it's a relapse- you get the point!

I know you don't wanna hear this. But what you've felt the past 10 days is just mental. Mental can make you so sick that you actually experience physical stuff from it. But the thing about mental is you can also reverse it.

I promise you it's easier to taper and then jump off at 1 mg. trust me. Trust me!! It's doesn't get easier than that. I'm sorry to break it too you. You've been lucky though and been dealt the best hand, you've been given the best way of kicking a the habit. There's no better way than taking sub then weaning and jumping off.

I promise.

I'll tell you what I tell everybody on sub - and it's true. Recovery is one big puzzle, a puzzle you will always be building and that puzzle won't be finished until the day you die clean and sober!
Suboxone for some people is the center piece of the puzzle. It only gets the puzzle grounded and started and while you're on suboxone you must start adding the other puzzle pieces. And those other puzzle pieces are NA, counseling, a sponsor, step work, etc. If you haven't done that while on suboxone then it's ok to start now.

Also with subxone weaning and jumping off there's something called a hump. A hump is something you feel every so often after stopping sub and these humps are usually when most people go back on the sub or relapse (like you're taking about). But what you don't know is these humps will pass within hours and days and they will get further and further apart and eventually stop.

When you're in a hump you feel like it'll never end. But I promise you that you will not be doomed to feel like this forever. Subxone has not damaged you and it won't leave you feeling permanently like this forever.

You will reach a point after stopping suboxone where you feel normal just like when you became adjusted on subxone only this time it will feel 10x better!

I don't mean this to discourage you. But when a person makes suboxone their only tool in getting clean when they actually stop taking it they can feel like crap for a bit. But when a person does NA etc and builds a strong foundation of recovery while on suboxone then when they stop taking the sub for good it's a breeze with almost no side effects at all.

That's why I say it's mental. I don't doubt you feel like crap physically etc right now, but a lot of it is your brain ( your addiction) telling you to fail. This diseAse laughs at us, and right now yours is laughing at you, and when you decided your gonna take oc your disease laughed even more behind your back and then stared you in the face and told you it's the right thing to do, but it lied.

I don't know where you're at I hope you're still clean and didn't use. But if you did it's ok and you can get back on track.

You can messge me if you need help.

Best wishes and hope I helped.

GBless


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 27, 2014 2:57 am 
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I'm sorry I didn't look at the dates this looked like a new thread. Please let us know how you're doing now? And hopefully my post will help other people in your shoes too.

GB


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